NeSter's MindSay Blog

juan

wenros — 2004-02-26T10:02:00-05:00

what kind of shit is that, seriously? you ask for a comment and ask for things you forgot, and that's what i wrote, if you didn't want to read then why did you bother asking? well i'm angry cause that was f&^%#* up, you know that, then you say it brought back bad memories? what kind of shit is that, what do you want to read???? well i don't know what else to write, you hurt my feelings. -seriously.

nothing new, just another friday

wenros — 2004-02-27T11:02:00-05:00

well what can i say, life sucks. typical friday, 30 min. classes. took a "itty bitty quiz" for sanchez, got 85. don't know what's going to happen in campoverde's class, think he's mad at me cause i'm failing. man, i seriously need to pass my class cause then i'll have to retake next year. saw my babe, !Swell Day! fun while it lasted. that's about it.

LoVe LiFe, well the couple last hours

wenros — 2004-02-29T09:02:00-05:00

today was actually fun. well yesterday when i got back from the hisp. forum, i spent the day with my babe. i was missing a special someone, but that's my *dirty little secret*. babe and i watched tv all day and night. it was weird cause my parents usually come in to tell me to not stay up so late, but they didn't even bother, that was cool. we stayed there, lying next to each other, holding and caressing/kissing til about 2 or so. we were falling asleep and didn't want to get caught under the covers, so he left to his room. then today after churchschool, ( i'm a teaher-aide, 1st grd.) i fixed breakfast and we went back to being lazy in my room. well we just got back from movies and dinner around 7 or so, he's such a sweetheart. love my babe. he does whatever to make me happy, even if it's weird. we go out-of-the-way for each other.

sux to be me

wenros — 2004-03-01T12:03:00-05:00

well the day started off good, i guess, i mean, i saw my babe, but he didn't stay. first was boring, we did a listening comic strip. on the way to 2nd trevon tells me my bro was about to fight with tony, but they didn't cause i don't know what happened. i don't even know what's going on, but tony told me my bro was talking shit or what-not. i don't know, just hope for the best. well lunch was the usual, nhs meeting then food. now i'm here in a really boring class, bcis, i finished my work last week, so i'm listening to one of my fav. cd's. i have so much shit to do that i just feel like freezing time. hope for the best.

??Question for Thought??

wenros — 2004-03-01T09:03:00-05:00

what do you call a person who says they are going to do something and don't, but yet they get mad at others who do the same to them??? i believe that's what us people call a HIPOCRITE!!! ugh, i'm so pissed, how can you do that, yes you know who you are, can't belive you. it's 'kay for you to get mad at others when they do it to you, but you can do it to me??? what kind of shit is that-seriously. you know what, fuck it, then don't bother, and no, i don't want to hear an excuse either. call me an "ass" as you say for getting mad, i don't care, you can't do that. ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh. i'm so mad. and to think that i believed you, how stupid am i?? whatever, you're probably going to get out of it, cause i succumb to you. lol. ever since sat., you seem to have your way with me.lol *inside joke*

wHy Me????

wenros — 2004-03-02T04:03:00-05:00

well the day started off bad, i didn't go to sleep til about 3 or .30, i just couldn't put myself to sleep, i was arguing on the inside. well i think i saw my babe, i had to confirm it with him when i got home, and yes, we got comfy. he put me in my blankets and slipped in, i was dead asleep, but i remember his warmth. then i got to school, we had a sub for sanchez, so that was cool, we did nothing and guess who came???? piquet, she dropped by to arrange a get-together. well pre-cal sucked, we just gossiped about guys and my love life, it always seems to be a fun topic. then went to welsh, i swear, i have learned nothing in that class, for ya'll who don't know me, history is one of my worst subjs, i can't seem to remember all that crap. well we took a biweekly test and i didn't do my cornell notes, nor did i meet with my study group so i lost 15-20 xtra points. i didn't ge to eat lunch, cause we were doing our proj. for campoverde, it looked really crappy at the end, but somehow he was proud of it. i mean, it looked like elem. work, we just through const. paper and tacted index cards on a display board; everyone else had houses and quotes, ours looked the worst. well that class is on my failing list, hope i pick it up, but it's hard cause everything we do is like 3-5 grades worth. hope i come back as a SeNior next year. the best thing happened, (sarcastic) i failed my vocab. test, i was so pissed cause i actually knew the words, i really didn't need my cards, so that means i won't be exempt from the "big one" 8 grades. well life sucks, oh yeah, choir practice was cancelled, and i have a pre-cal test tom, that i know nothing about. i would like for there to be a blue/orange raver (my ideal "fairy thing") to came and miraculously make me understand everything.

"goodnight johnny"

wenros — 2004-03-02T09:03:00-05:00

yep, those were the words i told my boyfriend just about 2 minutes ago, for those of you who don't know, that's not his name. i can't believe i said that, luckily i have a brother named johnny, so he thought i was talking about him. all we've been doing lately is arguing, don't know why, but i really don't care cause we've been through worse situations. love my babe even though people tell me i shouldn't be going through this. it's going on 2 years, hopefully, if all goes well in october. it's funny cause we got together the same date, 10-19, ramos broke-up with me. i was just talking to him about whether we should stay together or what-not, but he says i say stupid shit cause i'm sleepy, so times we just drop it. there's other times where he's like 'if that's what you want fine, i'm not going to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me'. but we usually just take a breather to not really say something we'll regret. well it's late, so i have to do my homework, got a test for pre-cal.

Inferno Test, don't know, just took it.

wenros — 2004-03-03T12:03:00-05:00

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Moderate
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's Divine Comedy Inferno Test

NotHinG beTer To dO

wenros — 2004-03-05T05:03:00-05:00

what can i say?? today we finished the last part of STANFORD 10, there were easy parts, but then again i was still sleepy, so i was just putting what i thought was "right". saw babe for about 20 min. or so, yes we cuddled, love him so much. almost punched matthew out of anger, i missed his face by and inch or 2, he moved. the guys were looking at me, cause they thought i was going to get up and land one on him, it was funny. the teacher just looked at me, it was funny cause he was like in shock mode, or what-not. the usual friday, except NO CLASSES, yay, we tested all day, it was fun cause the whole 5th pd was in there, and we all finished way before time was up. love my class, even the "blacks". no i'm not racist, it's just that's there is a black guy, matthew and a hispanic, mark, who by-the-way thinks he's black, they think everyone else is "hating" cause they're "black". the know what buttons to press on me, but i still love them. stayed afterschool to take a quiz i should've passed a month ago, sad thing is there'e only 5 problems, but shanahan shortened it to 3. walked home with johnny and joe, it's funny cause when they said they were leaving the shook like 20 or more hands, literally. there's so many guys that have my brother's and lil' sis's (my) back. *gotta love boys* it's funny cause they always look out for me, and ask about every guy i walk with. the funny thing is they'll walk with me, so others won't, it's so funny. i've done nothing so far, but eat. i think i'm going to clean today, so that way i won't have to next week, i'm so smart aren't i?

??Question for Thought??

wenros — 2004-03-06T11:03:00-05:00

what is the difference when someone say "fuck YOU" and "go fuck YOURSELF" ???? just thought of that when i was sitting my happy, nice, j/k ass on my carpet. if anyone can answer this, please be kind enough to do so, thanks for your thoughts on mine.
today was really weird, i think time was going slow or something. well i woke up at around 12 or so? don't recall. well N-E-wayz, saw babe this morning, he worked, then went back to sleep. i awoke to boards falling, mom getting angry, and to my nephew trying to wake me.
well, the good news is the frame is up for the shack/garage, whatever my parents want to call it. they started putting up the blocks last nite, and babe helped when he got from work. they started, i overheard, around 6 this morning. they've done really good, only stopping to eat, love my daddy. oh, no, something terrible happened to him as he was on the top nailing, my sister said that he feel from the top, i didn't know til a while ago, but luckily he's on God's list, so he's 'kay. i don't want to lose my dad again. reason i say AGAIN is cause a couple of years back, he went to bi pas surgery, i think, and died. yep, the doctor called and said "sorry, but we lost your husband" (he was speaking to my mom of course) well anyways, they call back a lil while later and say they got a pulse, so after leaving for about 5 times, he finally survived, it was the scariest day of my life. love my daddy so much, more than my mom, i told my mom, she understands cause she's like that too. N-E-wayz, i've been cleaning my room, well not really, but more of my desk and comp area. it looks neater.
so now, i'm just waiting here for babe to come home, he went bowling with some guys from work. guess what??? he told them what grade i was in, and they didn't seem to mind. he talks to them about me, but didn't really tell them my age or grade, they just know i'm in school. they encourage me to keep going. it's funny cause i'll talk to them sometimes, but not once have i seen them. love my babe, i think i've said that a lot.
i think i've said more than what i intended, sorry *to all*. adios a todos, but not goodnight.

Bad newS :(

wenros — 2004-03-08T06:03:00-05:00

well babe and i managed to break-up, don't even know how or why, but we did. somehow i felt like shit on the inside, but hey, i think i feel better now. well luckily i had a friend, juan, who cares enough to listen to all the moe-pe details, and stuff. yeah, don't know if we'll get together, it all depends on him, and it seems like he's enjoying himself. but wait, he hasn't even thought about us all day, and now he's in his room, doing more of not thinking. today was a weird day, i ended up doing nothing in all my classes. didn't turn in proj for pre-cal. feel sick, don't know what's wrong with me. am so ready for friday, so i can be lazy again. i have to do some "spring cleaning" in my closet, so far only dresses have been thrown out. think i have 2 test tom. one i don't know cause sanchez never e-mailed the review sheet, so don't think we'll have enough time for that, and greenfield's voc might be hard, i really don't know the words yet. think i've said more than enough, so bye. hope babe and i can resolve this stupid thing, don't know how i feel anymore.

peRsonAl prOfiLe

wenros — 2004-03-08T06:03:00-05:00

any guys interested in a hispanic female, 16, cute, still in school, brains *just through that in*, likes adventures, sports???? just message me, and i'll get in touch.

teRriBle pain in My hEarT

wenros — 2004-03-09T08:03:00-05:00

my mom just told me that my sister is taking our dog so they can put him to sleep. i just want to cry and scream, to some people it's just a dog, but he's been in our family for 13 years!!! he's a silva, literally, he even has papers so he can go to mexico with us, eventhough he's really not fluent in spanish, and i mean that literally, he understands english very well but only some spanish. he has tags with BABY SILVA, *crying*. i love my dog so much and i know it's time for him to leave us, but it's just too heart breaking. the reason my sister thinks it's best is because he's nearly blind, nearly deaf, and his spinal cord has gone out on him on occasions. he had regular doctor check-ups, regular grooming and yes, we were willing to pay for any medications, no matter the cost. i remember one time my sister's and i took him to get groomed, but when we got him back, i noticed blood on my shirt. i told my sister and we went halling ass on the freeway, i mean we even had our emergeny lights on. well the bleeding was due to a vein being cut when they clipped his nails, the doctor put some liquid thing and it stopped, when we told my mom why we took so long, she just laughed at us. then there was a time where his spine was starting to deteriorate, so we had to but him on medication and bed rest, he would only get up to use the restroom. my mom always said we were spoiling him cause my sister raised him by handfeeding him, so whenever it was time to eat, we would have to give it to him, gradually he started to learn to eat from a bowl, but that took many years. he was sooo spoiled, he had his own pillow, cover and always needed his own space, or he would stretch until we moved, all guys should be jealous of him cause he slept in between girls, 3 of my sisters and i. he loved it too. i'm really going to miss him, he meant so much to our family. i'll always remember how we used to take him to the park, and he would sit in the baby swings, don't worry his butt didn't touch the seat, he wore diapers. he went swimming with us, took him to galveston and kemah for easters, even took him to san marcos for my sisters graduation. there are so many memories we will have of him. my sister is going to try to look for a pet cemetary, so he can have a proper burial, cause we heard they have one. i think that's all about my pooch, really sad so i'll be going now. *feeling terrible pain in heart*

trUe in A weiRd waY

wenros — 2004-03-09T09:03:00-05:00

Bad Boy - Your ideal guy is the rebellious and
muscular bad boy. He's into living life outside
the lines - and having fun doing it.
Turn ons: You'll enjoy being wrapped up in those
biceps.
Turn offs: He might not always stay true to you,
and those motorcycle rides can seriously screw
up your hair!

What is your ideal type of guy? (With Pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla

yeah, i don't care too much if my hair gets messed up, gotta love boys.

yeAh, i haVe that eFfect

wenros — 2004-03-09T10:03:00-05:00

You have an entrancing kiss~ the kind that leaves
your partner bedazzled and maybe even feeling
he/she is dreaming. Quite effective; the kiss
that never lessens and always blows your
partner away like the first time.

What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

i guess that's true in my boyfriends sense. and you, that other guy, *you know who*, what you think????

GueSs whAt toDay is???????

wenros — 2004-03-10T06:03:00-05:00

well i was bored, so i decided to make today the official holiday: "hey dawg, what's up?", and yes, you have to do the whole hand thing too. it was funny, it all started around 2nd prd. or so, i just went up to all these guys and started to say "hey dawg, what's up", and they were going along with it. some i had meet before, but forgot, but there were others who were giving me "dabts" then were like, but i don't know you, i was like, yeah you do, i'm vanessa, nice to meet you. it was funny, so yeah some people actually believed me, others just went along. it's ok, i can do stuff like that, not only because i'm ME, but because i'm class of '05, the big family, if you haven't read. nothing new, guess what? if you've read about my dog, i have good news, he's stll here, yay!!!!!! well have lots of homework to do, if i plan to come back as a SENIOR!!! adios, you'll probably see another post sometime today.

a poem for juan

wenros — 2004-05-03T11:05:00-05:00

A DREAM OF LOVE AND DESIRE

EVERY MORNING I WAKE TO MY ALARM
HOPING ONE DAY FOR IT TO BE YOUR ARM,
THE ARM THAT ONCE HELD ME AND MADE ME FEEL
AS IF THIS PAIN ONLY YOU CAN HEAL.

YOU BRING A SMILE TO MY FACE
HELPLESSLY DREAMING THAT WE BE IN THE SAME PLACE
SO YOU CAN FEEL THIS EMPTY SPACE,
A SPACE ONLY YOU KNOW WHAT TO PUT IN
FOR IT CAN'T BE FILLED LIKE A TYPICAL DEN.

TO KNOW THE TRUE MEANING OF LIFE
WILL BE THE DAY GOD LETS ME BE YOUR WIFE,
A WIFE WHO WILL SAY, "I LOVE YOU" WITH PRIDE
AND NOT LOOK FOR A REASON TO HIDE.

THE DAY I LAID EYES ON YOU
I KNEW ONE DAY MY DREAM WOULD COME TRUE,
A DREAM WHERE YOU AND I PROPHESIZED
THAT THERE WILL BE NO MORE LIES
ONLY LOVE AND HAPPINESS IN OUR PARADISE.

~VaNessa 05/03/04

well juan, hope you have an idea about my feelings towards you. you seem to find the spot that makes me long for you and just want to embrace you and feel warmth all over my body. for some reason you seem to be there whenever i turn the corner, and i hope to god that it stays that way, or maybe even better. isn't it funny how even when we stop talking, we pick up where we left of as if we didn't stop. i'm sorry that i ever let you go and hope there's a chance in the future for whatever. if sam is on my list then we'll see what the future brings. i'm glad we were able to get over the past and move on like the mature adults we are. (liked the way that sounded so wrote it). i'm trying really hard to think of a time where you made me hurt, but i can't think. i think you can think of a couple towards me. as i think back to marshall, if i would've been more open and let you get close, then maybe we could've been, rather than what we were - get me? hopefully. well guess this really isn't a blog cause it's more of my thoughts to you for comfort. juan, i'm sorry about everything that happened, the downs i mean, mostly. well i don't know what to say except to keep listening to hoobastink, our song mainly. well miss you and hopefully one day we might cross paths.

!!!!!!!yay for mexicans!!!!!!

wenros — 2004-05-05T12:05:00-05:00

well lots of shit has happened and it's too much to say. spoken to some lost friends and it seems to be going well. yeah, so i took the spanish and english ap exams, awaiating the history one on friday.
well yesterday babe and i were talking and he ends up saying that he's my boyfriend when he says he is. sounds like he's taking over huh??? well he's starting to change, but according to him, it's me who brings a certain side out of him.so i was really pissed and didn't want to start bitching at him off the back so calmly i told him i wasn't his toy and he couldn't decide when he wanted to be with me. if he's going to be my boyfriend, then stay that way and not be stupid about it. he was like ' i do it for a good reason' or some shit like that. i really don't care at this point cause i ain't got time for his crap. well then he says the stupidest shit ever, how if he wasn't my boyfriend he would move on. ok maybe that doesn't sound so bad, but he's meaning a whole different story like, doing more with girls-don't want to get into details. so i get pissed cause he ( like me) so does not know how to fix errors, but instead just make them worse. so that was yesterday, also i did a totally stupid thing, which shall remain unsaid. so today is CINCO DE MAYO our day to celebrate cause we (mexicans) won 2 battles, one against puebla and the other against napolean III. yeah, we celebrate today and september 16, our independence. that's funny how we have 2 days to celebrate. so, today there is supposed to be a program in 4th to celebrate our special day. i'm picking up my grades, so hopefully i get full credit. glad there's only 2 or 3 weeks left.

a message to mark

wenros — 2004-05-08T11:05:00-05:00

so yeah, just got home from richard's going away party thing. he's in the marines or something, so he's going to iraq, we pray for him. he's going to training first in cali, then to iraq in late sept, early oct. or something like that. well i was supposed to post yesterday, but my brother brought a movie, so i didn't. so much shit has happened, don't know what to think sometimes. i totally need an escape. only if there was a pill to keep me a sleep for when i need to get away from life. so i was telling mark about feeling lost and wanting to be found, i'll talk about him in another post, he deserves it. anyways, i wrote the following shit to him, i think of a lot of stupid shit.

i so feel lost
in a world where only i know how to find my way
in a space, where there is everyone, but yet no one
in a room where it is so crowded of silence
in a corner, where there seems to be a door, which leads to many
in a life, where i wish wasn't
in my mind, where so much wonders, but yet nothing is done to understand

so yeah, i'm weird, and i really don't give a crap, so say what you want.

climax of day.

wenros — 2004-05-09T12:05:00-05:00

well this was the beginning of a discussion between juan and i (i commented on his blog, but he erased it, luckily, i saved what i wrote on my floppy,) so here it goes:

May 8th, 2004.
6:42pm - Grr I cant seem to figure out why im so damn irritated today. Everything and everyone is annoying me. Even my best buds. Im thinking it was cause of yesterday or maybe just cause of her. Dont get me wrong we went out and had a good time. Its just her personality i guess. At times you either love her or hate her. Yesterday was sort of a mix of both. It was interesting to say the least. I think she is going to write it in her blog so I wont here. Later.

and i commented (mind it was erased) *to all, i may seem like a slut, so sorry for any disrespects.

no i won't write in my blog, i think you've said enough, is it cause you DIDN'T get any? edit this comment if you want, just don't delete it. i really don't know what you want from me. you know i'm really stuck inbetween 2 worlds right now, so i really can't say anything for sure. only if it was that easy. sorry i ruined your weekend, feel better. i had so many feelings running through me when i read your blog. juan, what do you want???????? tell me, cause i really don't seem to know what it is.

oh, i don't think you were hating me when you were making out with me, or where you, cause you damn good know how to hide your feelings.

so yeah, we ended up saying more shit on messenger, mostly with 'fuck' and stuff of that sort. he told me all the bad shit i did to him and he should be mad, then i procedded to do the same to him. we continued for a while, until we settled down. ugh, he made me feel like a slut with some of the things he said, but who knows if i deserved it.i'll post what happened on friday night another time, i need some sleep.

where did everybody go?

wenros — 2004-05-11T05:05:00-05:00

so yesterday, after school, i started on my projects, then i took a nap so to not be so tired. i was supposed to wake up at 8 or 9, but instead it turned out to be like 11.30 or so. i've been up since then, and have got quite a few things, i got more research on my topic (penicillin). and i realized, i do not have enough, i need 5 sources (min.) with 10 note cards each (min.). i only have four sources, and not so many note cards for each, i still have to finish 'my history' project which is due tom (wed.) so i have to kick ass today.well have to get back to studying, man it will so suck, cause i think today is the panoramic picture at my school, and i look and feel so crappy. dang it!!! i'll probably write again later or what-not. goodmorning to all-rise and shine

!!!!!Yay!!!!!

wenros — 2004-05-12T08:05:00-05:00

so as you can tell i'm happy, and very excited. so my day was ok. well i went to school late, cause i woke up at 5 and i still didn't finish my project, so i was doing what i could. then i call chick to tell her i'm on my way, so to tell teach, and she says that we have until friday to turn them in. so yay for me, i somehow managed to delete my 1st project, so i had to redo it like 3 times cause i kept losing my info. hey, i just realized that reyna didn't give me detention for being like 30-45 late to class, she's kinda strict with that. oh and we didn't take our panaromic picture cause of the rain, so that meant joey lost his bet w/ mrs. shanahan. well in pre-cal we took our final ( i'm in a dual class, so i get college credit if i pass the exams, 6 hours total) and that was sort of fun in a really weird way. then around 11 or so i went to talk to a group of project grad people, it was fun, i ate jessica's lunch and so i gave mine to babe when he picked me up from school. i didn't even bother going to 3rd, i mean, i only had an hour left anyways, so why bother. i can make up my work next wed, so it's no biggy. 4th was fun, like usual, we did the same, just talk. oh, gizela and i went on a trip to get ink cartridges for campbell, and that was fun. afterschool we had the usual class offcer meeting, i left early to get back home in time to get dressed.
well i was invited to a dinner at a really great italian restaurant. it was funny cause what i was ordering was hard to pronounce, so when i told the waitress, she laughed, and said she hadn't heard my pronunciation before. so yay, i have a different way of pronouncing things. well after a while, we started to let loose and started talking about old times, and tequila. it was funny cause it was 2 teachers, a sub guy, elizabeth, alma, and i. we told some really jacked up stories about drinking of the past and i could not believe what those teachers had done in their younger years. so, we made a deal to come back when i turned 21, i'm the youngest of the crowd. that will be so much fun i can't wait. well that's about it for today, i think i kinda said a lot. write more when i feel like it.
oh, i had to write a name poem for my project so i'll post it in a new entry.

there's HOPE

wenros — 2004-05-14T05:05:00-05:00

well i came home from school early, i was greeted at the attendance office by my brother and sister. the note said emergency, so i knew what it might be. sure enough, when we got into the car, my sister told me they called my mom an hour before. why is it such a big deal??? cause october 13, 2003 my grandmother passed away, meaning only my grandpa is alive. well lately he's been sick. the call was about him being really sick, and he has to stay in the hospital. he was dehydrated and his heart rate was really low. my mom, dad and uncles are leaving tonight and my sis is leaving tomorrow. i really hope and pray that he lives longer, or at least enough so as to where my mom and them get there in time to see him. that what was really sad when my grandma died. they called my mom to come see her cause she was really sick and my mom got there when she was already passed on. it hurt her so much, cause she was hoping to see here, but instead she saw her lying there. it so sucks that my grandpa is so far away ( 16-18) hours. my dad doesn't have a sticker on the van, so we can't take it. man, i just hope that we are able to see him healthy and safe. i love my grandpa so much, he's the only one i know.

last day as JUNIORS!!! well for everyone else, i might go to summer school.

wenros — 2004-05-27T10:05:00-05:00

well as most people know, today was the last day of school. all this week felt like a regular week, we took 2 finals a day, and got out at 12.30, that was the only different thing. so today was my final for choir, easy 100, and ap english 3. so greenfield, eng., decides to give us an ap exam for the final. luckily there was only one essay, 2 pgs min. it took me like 2 hours or so, i need time to think, and plus we were just joking around. man, i didn't even get to see anyone, cause i didn't realize what time it was, plus the principal decided to do a new thing, let each class go out singled, so there was no bell. so i didn't get a chance to say fea, pookie, and others bye, but them mainly. i didn't even get a chance to tell my teachers, the few i like, bye or anything. fuck, sanchez won't be here next year, he owes me starbucks, so we'll probably set that over the summer. so i started on my plan to do some type of exercise, i've done a couple of miles a day. yay for me, don't know how long it will last. well i'm going to brickman's for sat prep. i might take eco this summer so i won't take it next year. hope fully i passed all my classes, the academics mainly. i so fucked up my gpa. this year, it went from a 3.6 to a 2.3 in a couple of weeks. so hopefully i atleast get it to a 3.0, if possible. the weirdest thing happened, vieja was having problems and i was giving her advice, but it was all the mistakes i had done, so i was like preventing her from doing the same. i was like, fuck, i don't have anyone anymore. so i wanted to cry. i think that's about it for now. i so would like to not have been stupid this year, and how i would've liked it if i didn't have these issues of mine. oh tony cleared that up for me, problems are outer, issues are inner. brian says problems can be fixed, so that was our topic during our english final. we're so weird, we just talk during a test like we don't have any sense, but it's 'kay, why??????? CAUSE WE'RE CLASS OF '05 BABY, WE DO WHAT WE WANT, WE'RE A FAMILY-WE STICK TOGETHER. man i so love my class, we're going to make it.

so i took this and here is what it said...

wenros — 2004-05-28T06:05:00-05:00

Red/Green/Blue:
To you, the world is logical. Everything happens
for a reason, life is scientific. You like to
find solutions. I doubt you needed to take this
quiz in order to realize this.

What color do you see the world in?
brought to you by Quizilla

so, yeah...just sitting here

wenros — 2004-05-28T07:05:00-05:00

Faerie:
Faeries are sweet loving beings who love to help
people. They are not held back by reality and
love to dream and fly around. You probably are
very creative and although not the most popular
person in the world you are probably loved by
many for your sweet caring personality.

What Mythological Creature Are You (Many Results and Beautiful Pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

stuck in school

wenros — 2004-06-08T12:06:00-05:00

so yeah, i almost came late to school, i woke at 7.02 and the bus leaves at 7.05 so i call christy and she says i still have 10 minutes cause according to her watch it was 6.55 or something, so i hurry and get dressed. i manage to get to school and we're off to school. so yeah, we were late again today, it's our buses fault so we ate breakfast and walked in during "the lecture" so yeah...we got sleepy in class so a guy drops a pen to give the teach a "hint" that we want a break. so yeah, we start doing a lab or what-not. so yeah, as we were coming out of the building, the rain just starts to pour. and the best part is that only one person had an umbrella and it was a SMALL one, so yeah, jose, juli , and vieja grabbed their shirts and i grabbed newspaper. as we were walking our 10 MINUTE trail to the bus, mother nature decides to be mad at us, it starts pouring harder and the wind starts to blow colder. so i get on the bus and there are only like 2 seats left, so i sit next to jimmy and he offers me a shirt, so i change in the bus-no biggy-it was cute cause he was leaning on me so none of the guys could see me. so to top it off, when we were coming back on the freeway and the bus starts to make weird sounds, so the guys get off and check to see what smells. well as the bus driver was just about to drive off the clutch goes out, i'm like fuck, it's a charter bus, it's supposed to work. so we're there in the rain waiting for another bus to rescue us. well to our luck the only buses available are the other 2 charter buses which are full. so we hurry to get on one and we're all standing in the middle isle. so that was fun, well when i got back to school, the lunch line was so freakin' long. so allen and i go to the bakery to grab something to eat, we find quita and sit to chat. so now i'm stranded at the bakery with 2 shirts already wet and it's time to go to class, as we're running back to school mother nature decides to have her fun, more rain and wind. well i get to class and the program doesn't work. we find out that there's something wrong at the school district and so we can't leave class til Mr. Lee tells us it's 'kay for us to leave. so we're sitting here for 45 minutes and we get good news, the program won't start so we can leave. yay!!!! no school, i get to sleep some more. so now i'm here hoping someone can give me a ride home. i can either see if vieja can take me or wait til 3.30 for babe to get off of work, yay!!! good news juli is going to take me home. i so hope my day gets better!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so yeah....

wenros — 2004-06-30T10:06:00-05:00

i got this e-mail saying i have to update, so here it goes. life sucks, it usually does for me, i have nothing better to do, than to pretend that i matter to people. the people i think care about me, don't even bother, and the people i doubt, seem to wonder about me. life is temporary for me, who knows where it shall lead, for i just hope it takes me to a 'happy' place. i haven't done anything with my life to be proud of myself, i have only done stuff that i regret and other stuff that i wonder about. life has had it's turn with me, but i'm trying to go in a straight path. i thought i found a person i could confide in, but instead i got stabbed in the back, i guess one can't be too careful. most people think i'm weird from a first couple of impressions, then after a few more, they just call me crazy, or that i'm wild, so yeah, i don't like being like anyone else, i think of myself as unique, but then again who doesn't.

ugh!!!!!!

wenros — 2004-07-05T10:07:00-05:00

why does my family have to be this way??? is there any way out??? don't know how this started, but as i was taking my clothes to the washer, i could hear my parents and very instegating sister talking about something, by the tone of my fathers voice, i could tell the topic wasn't pleasant. well luckily for me, once i started the washer, my sister starts to talk about me. how fun is that??? then my father starts saying stuff about me, and i don't even say anything, because why bother, my mom and sis have already filled his mind with so many negative things about me and what i don't do. ugh, i'm so mad. i don't get how my mom can always play around with me, but when i say something to her, she starts on how i'm rude, and i need to learn discipline and stuff. then she goes and tells my dad that i've been doing nothing all day and that he needs to scream or hit me. i just want to scream, my mother doesn't ever notice the good things i do in this house, she doesn't thank me for watching the kids, or for washing all the dishes and stuff. no, she can only tell my dad that i talk back and all that crap. ugh, this is getting on my nerves, mo matter what i do, to my family they only manage to see negative things about me. this, along with other reasons, is why i am in the middle of parting with my family. i'd rather stay locked in my room and do whatever i want, and walk around in only my undies if i want, without having someone telling me that i do no good. ugh, some one please tell me if i have an escape. the funny thing is that my mother only decides to be mean to me when she knows my dad is around, or when she's mad for another reason. i could be doing nothing to her all day, but once my dad gets home, she'll say i'm lazy, that all i do is sleep, and that i've done nothing all day, but yet, while she was on the phone the whole day, i was washing all the dishes, and cleaning the stove, and cleaning my room, for she wants everyroom to be clean, even if people don't ever come see our rooms. don't know if i just made any sense, i'm just so frustrated that i just want to scream for everyone to let me be, why don't people understand that i don't like being bothered, that i only want to be invisible, non-existant????????????

good news!!!!

wenros — 2004-07-06T01:07:00-05:00

so it's confirmed, if plans go well, i'll be in washington d.c from the 25th to the 27th. yay, i'm so happy, the trip is free, hotel, flight, transportation, "the things i do for my country"-from triple x. anyways, my mom is going with me, cause i need a chaparone-whatever the spelling- and cause she has flown before. so i'm so happy and sort of scared, i don't want to jinx the trip. i'm scared cause i'm scared of hights and we're flying there, so i hope all goes well. i so hope this trip goes as planned. fingers crossed.
***i think i'm getting hooked to writing in this thing***

poor babe....

wenros — 2004-07-09T12:07:00-05:00

so i'm here in my room doing nothing, typical. well after much worrying and waiting, babe came home around 6.30, cesar (cousin) had to go for him. i was worried cause his appointment was at 3 so i was like, hope it's going 'kay. well when he got home, he looked terrible, so i being a loving and caring person, followed him. i waited for him to get clean and noticed that his shirt was stained a LOT. he looked so terrible that it was cute. he was still numb, so the pain hadn't really settled in. well i told him he should lay, and i gave him ice packs, then i made sure he took his medicine. my poor babe, he kept getting up to go to the restroom. then i went to the store to buy him some things he needed. well i left him to rest, and kept checking on him about every 30 minutes or so. he saw how worried i was, so he just put his hand on my head, i was resting my head on his tummy. so i washed his clothes to try to get the stains out, but i guess i have to rewash it a couple of times, i'll do it tom or what-not. then around 10 or so, i made him his food, & made sure he took his pills, it's funny cause they're like vikadin, so he was felling "good", he was all drugged up. well he's asleep now and i have to go back at 3.30 or so AM to make sure he takes his pills. man, how much i love that punk is unexplainable. but it's 'kay cause he loves me, dunno how much, but i know it's still there. well i'm really bored soi think i'm going to watch forensic files or something of that nature.
****god, please don't let babe choke on himself tonight****

last minute packing.....

wenros — 2004-07-24T11:07:00-05:00

so i got back from mexico around wednesday midnight. well it turns out that he was sick in bed for a really different reason than my mom's sister told us (i refuse to call her aunt), so yeah after a couple of days so much gossip came to light, i found out so many things that my own family was doing to my grandpa and that was what was making him sick, but god will curse those who have done such things, it's just karma. exibit a: when our house was being built in mexico our my mom's sister stole the wiring to the house, cause they figured we wouldn't notice, but they took like 75-80 % of the wirings, well after they installed it in their house, a couple of weeks later something went wrong and all the wires burned, so they had to re-wire the whole house. why do we kill our own kind, why do we hurt ourselves when we should be each other's helping hand??? i so don't understand this world that i live in, so many people have done things to hurt others and they think they can just get away with it. so many people not caring for the sufferings of others. i guess that's why i feel as if no one is below me, i should judge no one for who am i to judge??? to me, we all started as equals, but after time some were presented with opportunities and others with sacrifices, we had the choice of either-or. some parents chose to not pay the rent to feed their young, while others turned down school to pursue a career. it's funny how people change and fade away. in elementary school i thought hey these are the guys i'm going to be with til i graduate, and boy was i wrong, most of the boys in my class have either dropped out to follow the path of drugs, sent to c.e.p and eventually drop-out, or be put in jail for some stupid reason, some of the girls have already had a kid or are in the process of carrying a child, what is it with us???? how did our world of elmo, barney and the magic school bus become into a world of drugs and violence??? who are we to blame, our parents for not moving us out of the neighborhood when they knew our neghbors were drug dealers, or that a couple of houses down the block lived a gang who had their enemies across the tracks, or in a neighborhood where the local laundry man was on file for child molestor??? or is it our fault for thinking our only escape from our neighborhood was to be a part of it, to follow the steps of the guys on the block, to be intimate with guys for the girls next door were saying how fun it was, and all your mother ever told you was "don't do it", but never really explained why. what is it with us??? have we been thinking that everything will be handed to us, like the first joint that touched our lips, or have we learned the hard way that you get what you earned, like our mothers who would wait til we slept so she could go to "work"??? then there are those who do learn,but it is too late for them, for they are sitting in a cell on death row or many years of darkness because they thought they were "cool" and now they're trying to talk to us and make us understand that this isn't the way, that there is more to life than stealing, smoking pot, and all that crap.
well i was in the middle of my thought when i notice juan is on, so i'm now conversating with him. be back wednesday.

just crap....

wenros — 2004-07-29T06:07:00-05:00

so yeah got back from dc tuesday around 6. i got myself in such a mess, blah babe. so anyways it was fun, i had fun, getting lost was fun. what else can i say??? dunno, so that's my summer. oh, i'm trying to see if we (officers) can organize a back-to-school carwash, hope we can cause it will be so much fun. hope all goes well, that's about it. i have nothing better to do. i'm so not ready for school, i have really nothing except loads of paper and pens. so yeah, life is weird as of a long time ago, hope i have a turning point.

oh yeah...

wenros — 2004-07-29T06:07:00-05:00

so babe went to louisana, i think i spelled it right. anyways he went cause he's taking his mom for her b-day, aww, how sweet. anyways, he'll be back tonight cause he works tom, he talked to his boss and they let him out early today, he just called to say he won 745 nickels, he's so cute. so yeah, i'm just here unpacking.

life is full of surprises.....

wenros — 2004-07-30T09:07:00-05:00

so after a really long talk with babe, about 1 hr and 1/2 to be more precise, we came to an agreement. man, who would have thought that we could get so personal, in such a little time, i told him some family secrets and he told me some things as well. he was talking about a lot of shit that actually made sense and i understood him, we didn't argue or anything so that was realyl good, and surprising. i realized how much he loves me, and how much i wasn't able to see. i love babe so much that only he and god know. we're best friends and if anything happens between us, it's 'kay cause we love each other, that's why these past months have been 'kay, well for him, i was confused for a while. anyways i'm so happy that i'm free from him, but i know that there are still certain limits. i don't know, it's weird, cause for once i'm actually 'kay with breaking up, which i usually don't take so well. i'm just so happy that it's weird. the plan is to be free from each other but sort of stay on the same path, i know, it's weird, but i think i will like it. i love babe so much that i don't mind doing this. i just hope that if it comes down to it, we'll be together some way or another, we talked about that as well. i don't know how to describe my feeling.

blah, blah, blah, blah......

wenros — 2004-08-07T04:08:00-05:00

life is really weird at times, i really don't have much to say about life. i recieved another e-mail saying to update, so here it goes. well next week i plan/hope to start a program at the worksource, something about job training and stuff, it's all next week, mon-fri, 9-4, and YES food is provided. on friday is the graduation ceremony at olive garden and we get our $100 check. so i get paid $$$$$$$, that's so good, cause at this time, my pockets aren't as heavy on cash-lol. friends are really weird, who knows what goes through their heads.

blah, blah, blah

wenros — 2004-08-11T09:08:00-05:00

yay!!! my vieja (wife) is back from NY, she was attending college at Cornell, I'm so PROUD of her, i love her lots. so now we can be the "cutest" girl couple there is-lol. blah, school starts next monday and of the whole summer, '05 has done zip for fundraisers, so yeah hopefully we can squeeze one in or something. babe has dodgeball today, he's captain, so i'm proud of him. it's for charity so i'm really proud of him. jose got his car fixed, and my babe helped do the job, well he really did most of the work. then after the oil was changed and other stuff, my brother gave it a drive, he looked so cute, can't wait for his crx to be done and ready. then it was babe's turn, man he misses his car so much, i can tell, we all could. babe went for a really long ride, i was just hoping he wouldn't get too happy and crash or something, but after a while he came around. man he looked so, so sexy!!! then when he came back around, he pulled the hand brake, so he swirved in the street, man, my babe is so sexy!!!! i love my babe. i'm in a program that's about jobs and brining up your own business, it's going 'kay, i really don't learn enough though, but it's 'kay, cause we have our ceremony at olive garden and we get $100, so that's something to look forward too. it's 10.00 and babe isn't home yet, so i'ma go to sleep.

what's the point sometimes????

wenros — 2004-08-17T06:08:00-05:00

so i started school yesterday woopie (sarcasm) it sucked and that's all i have to say. what sucks more is all i need is 2 freakin classes to graduate, 2!!!!! so i have crappy classes, i'ma try to fix my shedule tom, but i think today was the last day to turn in the request thingy. blah, i have a new manager, and everything sucks. i found out the guy who was stalking me on the internet, he knew so much crap about me, and the funny part is that he goes to my school. it was hard at first, cause i talk to so many guys, and i tend to forget their names, so he wouldn't leave me alone til i told him his name. so i ended up telling him to meet me at the coke machines, inside, and by 2nd period or so, i figured him out. so yeah, i hope to take my physical friday so i can play *hopefully* volleyball. **fingers crossed** either friday, or next week. blah, why is life so difficult??? i only have 1 class with my fea, so i'm so heart broken ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ blah, blah, blah, life womps.

just for my handsome bf-lol...

wenros — 2004-08-24T05:08:00-05:00

so yeah i had homework the first week of school, well the first day in some classes-that womped. my classes are boring, 5 of 8 are electives, the other 3 are eng 4, physics cause i really dont' have another class to take, and ap bio cause i love biology. so yeah i had to get books but the ap bio one is confusing, they handed them out to the wrong people and shit is just weird. hope i can get it by the end of this week cause i think the teacher wants to learn instead of doing labs. i started volleyball yesterday so that's been interesting. even though i haven't played since soph year i think i still have skills-lol. so yeah fea is going to be my new ride since a certain someone is going back to school. blah, i miss those days *hopelessly dreaming of the past*, so yeah it's all good though. so we have to stay til 6 from now on, before it was 5.45 the latest, but i guess. we had to run horses today cause of stupid shit, but i guess i need SOME of the exercise, i mean i did miss out on the circus training thingy. let's see what else should i ramble about???? oh yeah, i've been having mixed emotions about a certain someone, but i don't know. life is weird and most of the time it will be for me. JUAN MANUEL RAMOS III IS A FREAK!!!!! lmao, too funny. hope i did a good job at updating.

JUAN MANUEL RAMOS III

wenros — 2004-08-27T09:08:00-05:00

JUAN YOU SO NEED TO IM ME OR SOMETHING RIGHT NOW!!!!! i figured you'd get this if you logged on cause i am your buddy, so yeah im me to discuss about tom: all you need is a tank of gas and about 5 bucks. so are you up for it??? i know your sis has her party tom, so i'm hoping you can do this one thing with me, even if it's the last thing you do with me. i so hope you im me tonight so we can talk!!!!

I HATE ...

wenros — 2004-08-28T12:08:00-05:00

I HATE WHEN PEOPLE DO THAT SHIT. FUCK, WHAT DO THEY WANT ME TO DO??? GO FUCKIN' CRAZY, FUCK I ALREADY AM !!!!!!!!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK !!!!!!!!!!!! SCREW LOVE AND LIFE. WHAT'S THE POINT SOMETIMES ???? YOU TRY TO MAKE SOMEONE HAPPY AND YOU END UP HTE BAD GUY-'KAY WHAT'S WITH THAT ?????? WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE THESE DAYS ?!?!?!?!?!?!?! BLAH, I SO NEED TO STOP TALKING TO CERTAIN PEOPLE THAT MAKE ME FEEL THIS WAY ! I HATE BOYS AND THEIR STUPID LIES, I HATE PEOPLE TELLING ME THEY LOVE ME AND END UP DOING STUPID SHIT TO ME. I HATE GUYS THAT THINK SO HIGHLY OF THEMSELVES, FUCK THEM ALL. I HATE GUYS WHO MAKE YOU BELIEVE ALL THE SHIT THEY SAY AND MAKE YOU STUPID ENOUGH TO BELIEVE THEM. FUCK !!!!!!! ARE THERE ANY NICE GUYS OUT THERE ??? ANY THAT EXIST ????

Blah...

wenros — 2004-08-30T06:08:00-05:00

man, so much shit has happened in the past few days, where do i start ???? let's see my weekend was 'kay i guess. saturday i went to the reach drop-out day thingy at school. it was kind of weird to go to my friends houses and tell them that they didn't pass the taks test. later that day i went to a friends 15 party thingy, it was mainly close fam. and friends. oh i took vieja with me, so that was nice. then we left early to try to go to the observatory, but it ended up being too late, so we took her home instead. sunday went to cce, then did soem grocery shopping for my brother. around 1 or something my parents went to drop off all the crap we got for my brother at his college, that meant i had to find a place to stay. i went to the movies with my sis and rugrats and went to her house, we watched movies and i ate some really good food: tuna fish with chili and some jalapenos. my sister was looking at me weird, but i thought it was soooo delicious. anyways, i come home and continues the bad shit from saturday night.

somehow juan and i ended up in this argument. we were saying everything was going to end and that we would forget each other. for some reason, i made a vowel to him, which now might be a stupid one, and he "promised" me something as well. so the night ended in confusion there. sunday when i came home, we again got into the same argument, which i thought was funny after a while. the same shit was said and since he was being an ass with me, i kinda told him a whole lot of shit that should've been left unsaid. a part of me regrets what i said, but the angry part of me is glad to get that anger out. i know i am going to regret mostly all of the things i told him later down the road, but yesterday i wasn't thinking about that, i was just too mad to think. if i could turn back and fix what started both of the arguments i soo would. juan is a very special person to me, and i should be lucky that he was still here with me. there are no words to say how sorry i am, but i can try to patch some places.

dream come true...literally

wenros — 2004-09-01T09:09:00-05:00

joe came to my house monday so i could help him do a recommendation letter for some girl he hardly knows. he brought me poppa afterwards, and i shared it with word. after we ate i tried getting up from my chair and i nearly fainted, word was like 'are you ok, are you sure' i thought that was weird. so i feel asleep and had this weird dream that i was having a huge headache. trying to be smart i thought 'if i wake up then my headache will go away'- WRONG. it only got worse, my right side of my brain, not the temple, but diagonal from my ear, had a 10 times worse than migraine feeling. anyway i moved, my head throbbed. i was in so much pain, and it was 5 freakin 45, too early to be awoke. i started crying from the pain and called my mother, that's when she knew i was serious, i usually take the pain or let it go away, but this pain was killing me. so she gives me a 500 mg of something, and to my luck it does nothing to me, not one ounce of pain left me. 2 hours later my head was the same. so around 9 or so my mom says for johnny to take me to the hospital. i call word and he's really worried about me *oh so sweet* then i call fea to leave her a message. so i'm off to the hospital, at 9.30AM i get there and my long day starts. so i got seen like at 11.30PM or so, it was probably later or something, dunno. so the doctor is like, 'ok, what's the problem" and i'm like, what help are you now??-well i didnt' tell him that, but i wanted too. so after about 5 minutes or so, he prescribes me some migraine pills, and i'm like dude i don't have migraines, it's worse than that. so he's like 'take these, and if they do nothing to you, come back and we'll do more things to try to figure out what's wrong' so i'm like, whatever i'll just wait and see. so then i'm off to the pharmacy and see a friend i met, she's like 'you're finally leaving huh??, she was there since about 2 in the afternoon, and it was just 11.50PM or so. i ended up leaving the hospital at 12.30AM, 15 hours or so after i got there. i've been having these freakin headaches all freakin day, some last a while, others are quick. then ,when i bend to tie my shoes, my head goes in circles. so i haven't gone to school for 2 days, yay for me, i've been sleeping cause i can't take the pain anymore. so yeah wonder what is wrong with me, since the doctors don't know what it is. joe says he had that once, and it came out to be a pinched nerve. my sister said that a guy at work had the samething, he had his funeral today or sometime this week. so yeah, now i can say that it hurts to think, literally.

my thoughts on v3

wenros — 2004-09-07T10:09:24-05:00

so yeah, i'm usually the type of person who floats with the boat, but i seem to have some bad wind going to my sail. i came to see some pix of juan, when all of a sudden i was told that i had to sign in to see his blog. this bothered me dearly, for i am one of those people who likes to be "anonymous" until i write something intellectual, or what not. so yeah, i'm like "WHAT!!!" but then i come to update, and i have to go through all this crap in order to get my blog the way i want it. i didn't mind that part at all, it was fun, trying to guess which colors would go good together. anyways, i go to juan's blog to try to comment on something he wrote, and it's all jibberish, i mean, i can't even tell who responds to what response. so yeah i hope that the comment system changes or something, cause i got lost trying to follow who-wrote-what. so yeah, in the end, i don't know what i think about the v3 version, i still have to try some of the other "new" things out.

yay!!!

wenros — 2004-09-09T08:09:57-05:00

today is my fea's birthday!!! she's 18 now!!! i didn't see her til lunch, but it was all good. i wore a "HAPPY B-DAY EXPO" sign stapled to my t-shirt. when she saw me opening the door for her, she just smiled, we then hugged for what seemed like forever, it was supposed to be for 18 minutes, but it was like 2 or so. i love her so much, she's my bestest bud to the 100th power, seriously, i tell her things i wouldn't dream to tell others. well juan is here to do our homework together. finish updating later.

I HATE YOU!!!!!!

wenros — 2004-09-11T01:09:05-05:00

well not really, but i am really upset with you as of this moment. why the fuck do you treat me this way?!? and the fact that you let her disrespect me like that, you supposively love ME,and say you like her, and yet it's ok???? shit, she doesn't even know me, or what i am capable of. seriously, you get mad at me for "babe" and yet it's ok for her to tell me shit??? dunno if i'm stupid or what, but i don't understand. what do you want me to believe?!?!?!? cause i don't understand what is going on. you're such a ..... well you know what you are. i am sorry about one thing though, sorry that i was stupid enough to believe you, and was stupid enough to let you lie to me,i was stupid enough to not even notice what was going on.

in response to juan's blog..."johnny"

wenros — 2004-09-12T07:09:04-05:00

have you even bothered to read my blog???? seriously!!!! yeah i'll explain it better, your fuck buddy got pissed and started calling me a hoe. all i wanted her to do was to give you a simple message, seriously, how hard is it to ask you a simple question on im?? your friend has issues buddy, i'm not trying to take you from her, and she's stupid to talk shit to me when she doesn't know me, you might tell her stuff about me, but other than that, she doesn't know me!! so yeah talk to you later 'kay???

about my last 2 entries...dedic... to JUAN!

wenros — 2004-09-12T08:09:15-05:00

silva_nessa (11:39:55 AM): juan where are you at?????/
silva_nessa (11:41:30 AM): juan!!!
juanr_9401 (11:41:36 AM): hey
silva_nessa (11:41:41 AM): can i call you now??
juanr_9401 (11:41:52 AM): juan is kinda tied up at the moment. who is this?
silva_nessa (11:42:08 AM): who is this????
silva_nessa (11:42:23 AM): may you please relay a message for me???
juanr_9401 (11:42:42 AM): depends on what it is. this is chrissy. juan is in the shower
juanr_9401 (11:43:05 AM): feels wierd calling him juan. i call him johnny
silva_nessa (11:43:21 AM): this is his girlfriend, please tell him to calll me when he gets out
silva_nessa (11:43:30 AM): it's an EMERGENCY
silva_nessa (11:43:33 AM): thanks
juanr_9401 (11:43:34 AM): how can you be his girlfriend?
silva_nessa (11:43:50 AM): he asked me to be his girlfriend, and i said yes
silva_nessa (11:43:55 AM): isn't that how it works??
juanr_9401 (11:44:19 AM): no sweety you have it wrong. if you knew johnny you would know that he dosent want a relationship. just something casual
juanr_9401 (11:44:30 AM): he dosent have a gf
silva_nessa (11:44:45 AM): no hunny you go it wrong
silva_nessa (11:44:58 AM): we've been seeing each other since 7th grade
silva_nessa (11:45:13 AM): he'll tell you the truth if you ask him
juanr_9401 (11:45:27 AM): he just got out now. i'll ask him.
juanr_9401 (11:45:30 AM): brb
silva_nessa (11:45:44 AM): about the casual thing, he just does that with girls he doesn't like
silva_nessa (11:45:53 AM): since he loves me, it's a relationship
juanr_9401 (11:46:23 AM): oh believe me he likes me very much. why else do you think im here with him when he is home alone?
silva_nessa (11:46:39 AM): cause he needs a fuck???
silva_nessa (11:46:41 AM): dunno
silva_nessa (11:46:43 AM): tell me
juanr_9401 (11:47:11 AM): oh no honey im more then just a fuck. you would know if you were here
silva_nessa (11:47:57 AM): congratulations, very well done, i guess since i don't give him any, he has to get it from a H....
juanr_9401 (11:48:21 AM): your just jealous cause i have him and you dont
silva_nessa (11:48:33 AM): can we talk about this later, i really don't have time to chat
silva_nessa (11:48:42 AM): i need to talk to him very inportantly
silva_nessa (11:48:52 AM): *m
juanr_9401 (11:49:26 AM): well good luck getting a hold of him. im not telling him some hoe vanessa is looking for him. i would rather have him all to myself for a couple of more hours.
silva_nessa (11:49:48 AM): well it takes one to know one
silva_nessa (11:49:49 AM): right???
silva_nessa (11:49:52 AM): you know your kind
juanr_9401 (11:49:57 AM): well im off to be with "your man" enough of this. later
juanr_9401 (11:50:32 AM): bye hon
juanr_9401 (11:52:54 AM): stop calling. im not letting him answer the phone. just go away
silva_nessa (11:53:09 AM): lmao

juanr_9401 (11:53:56 AM): Hey vanessa whats going on? what did you do she is pissed???
juanr_9401 (11:54:22 AM): bleh. enough. she is off its me sorry bout that i was in the shower. what happened???
silva_nessa (11:54:35 AM): answer your phone

juanr_9401 (12:09:59 PM): i'll be on later but before i sign off i just wanna say that Im sorry for all the asshole stuff I just said.
silva_nessa (12:10:50 PM): no, you'll always be an asshole, don't treat me whatever way you want
silva_nessa (12:10:53 PM): it's hard to believe what you say when you do other actions. when you figure out what you want then talk to me. see you when i do, if that happens, or i'll see you at SAM-lol. bye juan

so yeah that was my morning, my day ended up being somewhat screwed cause my plans were for mainly for 2, but as shown above it was made into plans for 6. my day turned out to be 'kay, a little lie-ing to my mom and it was even better. so yeah after marcos dropped me off i went to some party my mom was at, J. picked me up in his new car-blue cadillac, it's very very nice. he said he was going to let me drive it for a while, all the guys were laughing cause i was the designated driver, the funny part is that most of the people i talk to are my bro's friends, so they're like in their early 20's. thinking about it, most of my friends even from school were always the seniors, or upperclass, i dunno, i'm just weird.

and life goes on....

wenros — 2004-09-19T06:09:20-05:00

so i'm here at home sick. SICK of all things. yesterday was the speech thingy at la porte and only 2 of us showed up, 2 of 15-20 that signed up. my sis was mad cause she was going to take us in her van, she has to wake around 5 something to get to my house by 6.20 AM. she brought the baby (jewel). it was fun though, we ate at a tea house and went to the antique shops that were down the street. then we came home early cause we got tired. came home and helped cook cause my familia was going to order the fight, meaning a lot of hungry people over. so as i was cooking i was getting nauseated and just wanted to throw up really bad. 'lo and chapete came over and i served them a plate. 'lo was like "why don't you say hi at school anymore?" i thought that was funny. so they walked home after the fight was over and everyone went to their houses. i went to bed and had a dream that i was going to throw-up. so being the smart person that i am, i a woke to get the feeling out of me. i ran to the restroom and who would've thought, i actually threw-up. i was like, "man, i have to be up at 8.30" i went back to sleep and my tummy ached. i havent' been able to eat heavy foods all day, i throw-up everything. my mom has me drinking liquids and i just ate a soup. babe is going to bring me some crackers later, and i'm going to just lay in bed for as long as i can.

WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME??????????

wenros — 2004-09-20T09:09:31-05:00

why do you feel as if you can treat me this way??? you say you love me and yet you do other things?? you say you care, but do you really?? you treat me as if i am your toy. why do you think that you can have your way with me?? if you really loved me, then stop hurting me!!! what do you want me to do?? i have so many emotions towards you, sometimes i love you and other times you make me want to hate you. you say you will treat me good, and me being the stupid ass believes you. why do i fall to you?? i feel lost as if there is no way out sometimes, then i find out you are "doing stuff" do you not think that your actions hurt me??? that i fuckin' care enough to get mad at you??? what am i to believe from you, that you're going to change, and that some day we'll be so called fuckin' "happy" together??? what is the matter with you?? do you not realize that i have feelings??? i am not something that you can warm, then turn your cold shoulders against. then to make things worse you let people down talk to me?? what kind of shit is that?? am i not supposed to believe when you tell me that you "honestly love me" am i to not believe when you say you'll make things better??? i used to turn to you, now what am i to do?? how am i supposed to get through this??? is there any way out?? do i have to make my way out????

positive note on last blog

wenros — 2004-09-20T10:09:54-05:00

i stayed home today. yay no school for me, i'm getting better though. hope i will be good for tom cause i have AP bio and i REALLY can't miss that class. oh, i also have choir and oral so that will be fun, 5th i have span 3 AP, i'm prep-ing for the 2nd AP exam, so i hope i learn something this year. speaking of exams: i'm thinking of taking SAT II (subjects test), but i'm not sure in what areas, i am also going to re-take the SAT I to try to boost my score.  i so hope that i can boost my GPA this year, i so need it !!!!! i managed to drop from a 3.5 something to a 2.5 in a matter of weeks last year. so i am trying my best to give myself a boost since grades stop counting in december. i think i'm doing farely good this year, i think i can do better though. so i've been home all day doing nothing, only eating little food here and there, taking long naps, watching movies with rugrats, and i think that's about it.

don't think i mentioned it....

wenros — 2004-09-23T11:09:37-05:00

mrs. Hopkins passed away friday around 1pm. she was one of the oldest teachers at our school. she even taught some of my friends parents and family. she was really cool and is going to be very missed. she's been out of school since the first week of school cause she had a really bad stroke that led her to the hospital. she didn't get there in time so she was sort of brain dead after a while. i think it was like what people call "vegetable" cause she was using the respirating machines and don't know what else. we've made cards for her family and that sort of stuff. our school is very caring, last year a janitors husband or something like that died, and we made cards for her too. one of our '05 classmate passed our sophmore year from something that he had. i think that's all i have to say. oh yeah her service thingy is tom so some of the teachers won't show to school and since coach smith was really close to her, she cancelled practice for tom. i'm just happy that she was able to spend so many years with people she loved and cared for. for the past 5 years or so she has been saying " naw, i aint doin this nomore, this is my last year" and when school started in the fall, she was always there. may god bless her soul.

nothing better to do....

wenros — 2004-09-25T11:09:35-05:00

well i'm actually supposed to be memorizing my lines for my oral class, but i got tired of that. also, it's confirmed, i'm running for homecoming queen, so yay for that. hope my brother is able to come down, last year when i won princess he wasn't able to, so sabo just sent him pictures of the half time over the phone. the rules for campaiging this year are weird, but i guess i can manage it. also we vote this upcoming friday, so that means i only have little time for that, just hope all goes well. blah, let's see, what else can i ramble about??? i really dont' have anything else to write about

life as we know it....

wenros — 2004-09-29T10:09:28-05:00

so yeah, i've had ups and downs lately, but owell, i'll get over it. a really good friend of mine gave me what i've been needing- a huge 'i care hug.' so i managed to get my work in on time, so now instead of a 54 in AP-Bio, i have a 71!!! meaning i can still have a decent G.P.A if i pick up the next 2 grades. also i went to the trainer, and she said the reason my finger hurts and i can't bend it is cause i sprained something in my finger, like a ligament or something like that. she "buddy" wrapped it and said i have to do 20 min. ice, so yeah woopie!!! now i know why it hurts, that problem is out of my mind. let's see, what else??? oh yeah, fea quit prom-committee cause too much bull is going on. we're the 5 top heads, so without her it's sadly 4 top heads. man, i hope all goes good. i hope a lot of things go good, and i not only speak of the committee, i have a lot of other shtuff going on. ugh, i was so mad today cause my director was trippin' on me, so she bust out with that since i'm AP i think i can run things, and that i am used to rushing through things, and that i discuss things, and all this crap that has nothing to do with ACTING. so yeah that got me mad cause then she screams at me and asks "did that scare you?" and the whole time i was like, what in the world is wrong with her?? i of course didn't tell her, but she seemed dunno today. then we get in class, and she's like, you're catching on really good, you just need a little practice. so i'm like 'ok weirdo'-lol. the things i do for credits-lol. so blabbing has got me no-where's, i still have my issues, but then again, i prolly will always have issues.have to finish icing my finger, hope it heals quick.

life is like....

wenros — 2004-10-05T09:10:37-05:00

someone had a seizure (i think) today at school. i don't know the girl, but all i heard from the announcements is that she is in the ICU-i think, and that she is going to be out of school. the prinicipal was like, 'thank you to those who helped her' and stuff like that. i think the girl was a sophmore, but i'm not sure. i just hope everything is 'kay, and she 'cooperates quickly.
   so life has been weird for me this weekend. i managed to lose a really great friend, i cried, of course, but it's all good. it was for the best that we should get things clear about what's going on between us. I am still very hurt, but what can i do. i wanted to call fea, but it was like 1 am or so, and i didn't know if she was a wake or not, and i didn't want to wake her if she was asleep. anyways, i kept my feelings ball-ed inside of me, and have only told a couple of people. i just hope i can get through this, cause it hurts.
   I also managed to re-hurt my finger, so it's still pretty swollen, but now, it hurts to go straight, instead of hurting to bend. i think i'm going to join the swim team-again-this year, but prolly won't start til january or so, cause i'm too lazy at the moment. i want to join raquetball or something like that. i also want to do some mountain climbing, but i'm still a whimp when it comes to heights.
   on a lighter note, i got my report card today, i'm pleased with my grades, all a's, except one c, so that's good. i'm so glad i managed to get a passing grade in ap bio, cause if not, i would've been screwed !!! bad !!! i plan to get some applications in, but don't really know where to, so that's a struggle.


1 YEAR TOMORROW...

wenros — 2004-10-13T12:10:27-05:00

so yeah, tom hte 13th is going to be a year that my grandmother passed on to be with GOD. we were eating some chicken that word brought and my mom started crying. we all just sat there and wondered what could be wrong, we joked at what could make her cry, then she said it...'a year ago was the last day i knew my mother was alive'
last year on the 12th we got a call that my grandma was sick, and that my mother should come, so my mom left that night,but for some reason, she didn't get there til way later then next day, i think towards the evening or so. my mom was on her way, thinking that she was going to see her mother. we got a call monday (i was at school) that we should come because my grandma had passed. we were dead broke, and my uncles didn't have any money either, they live in another part of texas. a really good friend of the family offered us their vehicle and money. we gladly took some of the money, and the other was given to us by my sis who couldn't go. we all packed a change or two of clothes and stuck it in one bag. my niece was the hardest one to find, she was off campus, and so we were calling her school like crazy, finally i called eddie and asked him to let gabriel break the news to her. we waited for my sis to pick up connie (my niece) and we headed to san marcos for my brother. no one said anything on the way there, we were just in pain and worried if my mother made it safe, or if she even knew for that matter. we got there tuesday and walked into a house full of people. we just ran to my mom and hugged her, she was so happy to see that we were there, especially my grandpa. all that day we prayed and prayed. we took pictures and just held each other. i couldn't believe that she was gone, she was dressed so beautiful, in her purple shirt, her favorite reboso, and her 2 braids. in mexico if one dies at home, nothing gets done to them, meaning no emboming fluid. this meant that we had to fill her casket with bags of ice, of course she couldn't feel it, but it still hurt to be the ones preparing her. she stayed there another night, we waited for my father, but he didnt' make it. so wednesday morning oct. 15, 2003 she was put to rest. there were so many people there to see her go, the people she helped at labor, the children she helped bring to this earth, and the many people she healed. that's one thing that i will always remember about my grandma, she helped so many people, and was loved by many.
**may you rest in peace MARIA CONCEPCION MENDOZA**

still breathing...

wenros — 2004-10-27T11:10:15-05:00

life has had it's ups and downs with me, but it's all good. i managed to catch up with an old friend of mine, brian. babe and i have been good, we had a really bad down, but it's getting better now. school has been doing good, i'm actually doing college applications. volleyball has finished, and now i'm thinking about playing tennis. i'm doing research for the science fair, but it's all good. i really don't have anything else to write about. juan thinks i am going to stoop really low and write about something totally stupid, but i have class. sorry to disappoint you juan. it's good that we're talking AGAIN-lol. it's that CYCLE thing. lmao. see you at SAM !!

has anyone read the houston chronicle, or watched the news???

wenros — 2004-11-01T10:11:01-05:00

if you have, you might have read a story about a boy who was killed yesterday. there was 4 people in a suburban shooting paint balls at trick-or-treaters. well apparently they shot at some truck, and the truck came after them. the suburban ended up flipping over and killing a guy from our school, he was one of the passengers, a sophmore, and his brother is a senior. we don't know what the status is on the other people, except that they are in critical condition. many people at school were missing, or in cis (counseling), others were just really quiet and down. a friend of mine was there right after it happened, and she described in gruesome detail of what she saw and what happened. many people are still confused as to what happened, and are just too hurt to believe it actually happened.
life has it's ups and downs with me, but it's all good. grades go in wednesday or something, so i think tom is make up day for some of my classes. i think i'm doing pretty good with grades, i'm struggling really hard to be in top 10%. i really do hope i get in. *fingers crossed* my weekend was 'kay i guess, i really didn't do anything, just stayed home and watched tv-yippie the life!!! j is supposed to come down today so he can vote tom, but there is still no sign of him. richard wrote to j, so that is good, he's still in our prayers-he's in iraq at the moment. my mom came back from mexico today, not sure at what time though, jc went with her, so that was good. i really don't have anything to write, just decided to put some words down.

may GOD take in Irvin Rojas...

wenros — 2004-11-02T11:11:57-05:00

Today we had a moment of silence for IRVIN in the morning. if you read the bookmark of "tragic accident" you'll read that the guy who crashed into them has been charged. this is what is said to have happened:
the guys and alicia were in the 'burban shooting at trick-or-treaters. a truck started coming after them for no apparent reason. as the guys were trying to get away, they were going to make a left turn, the truck ended up clipping them and the 'burban flipped about 3 times. daniel (Irvin's older brother) was one of the first people to get thrown out of the truck. after a couple of flips, everyone was thrown out. p-jay heard the crash, and ran to see what happened (she was 2 blocks down). p-jay and the girls/guys pulled the bodies out of the street and away from the burning vehicle. the house that the 'burban crashed onto was helping hose down the fire. alicia was sitting on the grass next to Irvin, crying out to him, telling him to say something. the only thing Irvin was doing was coughing up blood. p-jay moves alicia to the other side and tells her to calm down, and that everything is going to be ok. daniel at this time is in serious pain because he can't move, and is lying on the floor asking for his brother. the girls tell him "he's fine, he's ok, he's going to make it" the whole time knowing otherwise. the guy who hit them takes off and is chased by someone who saw the incident, he is later caught. everyone gets rushed to the hospital. eric is sent to brain surgery, daniel had some broken bones, the neighbor who was sitting in the same row as Irvin is checked, but he manages to leave with some scrapes and bruises, alicia, the girl who was sitting NEXT to Irvin has a broken ankle. and Irvin, well he's in god's hands now, he was only 16 !! this happened sunday night around 8.30 or so, daniel, Irvin's older brother was notified yesterday, an hour before he was released that his younger brother passed away.
the rosary is said to be tomorrow, and the girls are getting shirts made to wear friday, and to his funeral.

minds wondering...

wenros — 2004-11-03T07:11:57-05:00

eric is out of surgery, and i think they told him today around 10 a.m. that Irvin passed away. today is Irvin's rosary, tomorrow is the funeral. the school is letting people leave around 9.30 as long as they bring a note saying that their parents are letting them go. some people are just not coming to school. we might have another moment of silence during 6th period, around the time of the funeral.

Irvin's funeral...

wenros — 2004-11-05T12:11:09-05:00

today was the funeral for Irvin. the thing was that if you had a written slip, signed by your parents, then you were able to leave around 9.30. well i didn't know who was going, so i didn't ask my mom. i get to 5th pd. and find out that some of my classmates were going, so i run to the office and ask my mom to call the attendance. and after a couple of minutes, i have approval. when the bell rang to go to 6th, the attendance office got SO packed, there were so many people going. some people didn't wait for their slip, so they just left. i rode with gizela and toby. we ended up getting to the cemetary til about 10.30 or so. when we got to the cemetary, there were already about 50 or so people waiting. we decided to go to the church, so we headed out to Christ the King on N. Main. MAN, was it packed. we couldn't find a place to park. we had to go a couple of blocks down to find a spot. we were trying to go in the church, but realized the reason the people were standing outside was because there was no more room inside. as everyone was coming out, the cars started to move, so we were off. there was at least 50-75 cars or so that were leaving the church. we held up SO much traffic. we arrived at the cemetary about 11 something, and we had no where to park, so again, we had to go around some curbs to find a spot. we ended up parking really close, but on the other side, of the burial site. there were so many people there. as people were putting the dirt on the casket, i overheard a lady say in spanish "there are so many teenagers here, he must've been really popular." that was so true, there were people there from sam houston, reagan, and of course, the loads of davis. Eric, his older brother/driver was there in a wheelchair, so was Daniel, and Alicia. some people were placing throw-backs on the coffin. and many were laying flowers, mainlt white and red roses. when people started to go pay their respects, Nicole fainted on me. i was like, ok, someone help, but everyone was just watching. about half an hour later, there was still more than half of the people who hadn't passed by. fea was taking this hard, i wanted to hug her so bad, but she was with ruben. after a while, meagan and her came over to me, we hugged for what seemed like forever- i love her SO much. time went by, and it was time for them to lay him in. that's when people started to cry, bad. all you could hear was sobbing and little whimpers here and there. the cemetary guy ended up telling us that he's sorry, but we have to leave cause the dirt truck can't get in. so everyone said their last goodbye's. we layed roses on the casket after they laid the cement block. danielle tied a necklace to here rose and tossed it in. we couldn't get out cause there were like 6 or so vehicles behind us, so we stayed there. i didn't go back to school, i just called joe and told him to not count us absent, that we weren't coming at all. we stayed at maria's house til school went out, then went back for the senior meeting. my watch battery was going out, so i didn't know what time it was. it was really nice because it wasn't cold, there was a nice breeze, with very much sunlight...

wow !?!?

wenros — 2004-11-07T11:11:41-05:00

this weekend has been one of the weird ones i can say. so much stuff has happened. talk about it later...

what is there to say??

wenros — 2004-11-16T09:11:25-05:00

not much really. i got my pics from marco from an old car wash, GLUTES, GLUTES, and MORE GLUTES!!! also got some pics from miguel from the ren fest, it was sooooo much fun, the last time i went was in the 8th grade-when juan manuel ramos III and i were "together", it was a fieldtrip...'kay, enough of the memory lane.
**ramos, if for some reason you read this, don't be afraid to stop by and say "HI VANESSA, HOW ARE YOU DOING?? HOW'S LIFE??" -'kay?? (just a thought :) )
we got a new puppy, her name is PRINCESS, she has light tiger strips with hazel eyes, she's s cute. she's getting trained, already, but i don't know when my brother is going to start to tie her up- that's supposed to make them mean, along with feeding them red meat. she's a different type of pit, BUTCH was a red-nose pit, she's something with a B, i forgot. she's supposed to get bigger than BUTCH, so it's all good, i dont' know if she's going to fight though-i wonder.
got my report card, and i am soooo happy, only 2 b's !!! one in AP BIO, and the other in AP SPAN, but it's all good. i'm going to start applying to college, just waiting on my transcript form HCC. hopefully i can see PETE this weekend when i go to SAM STATE, so he can "hold me for ransom in his dorm/house thingy" i hope this school year goes really good for me cause grades stop counting after dec.
science fair is coming up, and i still haven't done anything, except enter the fair. i have to start doing research and then doing my experiment. hope i can do a good job - i only hope.

yay!!!

wenros — 2004-11-18T07:11:04-05:00

so happy, today was our picture day, for volleyball. and of course, mr. sanchez was our photographer. he has some really great deals, plus we might get some extras. we took a shit load of pictures, loads of them. he still has the pics i took last year when i was his "model", he said he is going to e-mail them to me. i'm so happy, cause the packet i chose was only 15 $$$, so that is really good. he is a photographer as a spare job, but is a teacher for another high school. he does some really, really good pics, like BAD ASS. he was also photographer for when the astros were playing for the series. so that was cool. we had so much fun, we were just taking photos after photos, then he would say "i like that one" so we'd stay still. i miss him, he was my chem teacher last year. he's so freakin' cool, even if he did kick me out of his class *once*. enough about SANCHEZ.
turkey break is next week, the WHOLE week !!! so ready for that, i am to apply for at least 5 scholarships over the break, or as many as i can accomplish.

what the fuck is it with these people....

wenros — 2004-11-25T12:11:38-05:00

molester: someone who subjects others to unwanted or improper sexual activities
why the fuck do people get these sick demented thoughts in their head that they can do this to people, especially children?!?!?!? fuckin' stupid asses who deserve to have their dicks rotted and chopped off, and their eyes poked out, and their hands burned or something of that nature!!! these poor innocent children who do nothing but trust everyone else cause they are tooo naive to understand what danger means. then they threaten these kids to say nothing cause "mommy won't believe you" or they pretend to "play games" to not make it seem like a bad thing. and the wives, they see nothing of the situation, they don't see these things happening, because these stupid men blind fold them to making them believe that nothing is going on, nothing at all. why the fuck is this still happening, why do people do this shit????? the poor kids, what did they ever do to deserve this?? why does this come into thought, why ?!?!?!? many children are getting hurt, and they shouldn't be going through this pain at such an early age. if you feel you want to hurt a child DON'T, GET HELP!!!! many children go through this for years, without a simple thought in the parent's mind that this can and is happening to THEIR OWN CHILD, then there are those other children who tell a friend what is happening to them and the police gets involved. then the families, oh the families, they blame themselves for this happening, for not seeing "the signs" for not asking questions or talking to their child. this can happen to any of our family members or to our friends, or to just someone we know... please talk to your family and children and tell them it's NOT ok for someone to touch them wrongfully, talk to them and let them know that they WILL be believed, it's NOT right. children should not be going through this pain... or anyone for that matter. the pain is too unbearable to live with, it hurts to know that someone you trusted was cabable of hurting you, over and over. some people try to leave it in the past, others don't ever get over it and are traumatized... WHY THE FUCK DOES THIS HAPPEN,STOP HURTING CHILDREN,STOP IT !!!!

and life goes on...

wenros — 2004-12-03T09:12:52-05:00

life is still strolling, little by little, i hope i make it through every week...
finals are around the corner, and i hope i get to get some study time in- for ALL of my classes...i think i will do pretty good on most of my classes, some teachers are allowing a "cheat sheet", and others are giving out review sheets...
i have my sat's tom, i wasn't too satisfied with my first scores, so i decided to retake them...and of course being the best procrastinator i am, i have not studied yet...i hope to get some "study time" tonight and pray for the best tom...
i haven't started on my science fair project, and it is due DECEMBER 9 !!! so i have to get started on that as soon as i get home tom, and on sunday, and as much as i can in the rest of the days...
we have dress rehearsal monday after school for the christmas in oz thing our school is doing, we're to sing for the pto on tuesday as well...
i also have to start memorizing my lines for the uil play, and start rehearsing for my solo....
ms. moore, the drama director is having fundraisers so the people who are going to participate in uil can go to disney land/world during spring break...hope that goes well...

quick sum...

wenros — 2004-12-08T08:12:48-05:00

yesterday was my little brothers birthday...he's 19 now!!! well yesterday was our first performance and it went ok, we jacked up a lot of the stuff and timing was off, but other than that, it was "perfect"...it was also make-up day for ap bio, so i stayed after school for that...after that i went to the prom-committee meeting, that ended around 5'ish...roxy brought me home, i made me 2 hotdogs, and i got to revising words' paper (his portfolio was due yesterday), i'm soo going to be ready for college if it's as easy as his classes...then at 6'ish i started saving his shit and called joe, word took me to school and got there around 6.15 or so and got in line for the show...show started around 6.30 something. after the show i had no way to get home, so campbell brought me, and to my luck...the house was dark and lonely...was planning to call juan, but i doubt he was home...little bit after, johnny (brother) got home and told me to get dressed...word came home from school, we picked up adrian and headed out to HOOTER's...that was fun...we told the waitresses it was his birthday, so they made him ride the horse and sang happy birthday to him....it was funny...went to wal-mart after that and word bought me the poster board for science fair...it was sweet cause he payed for me...got home around 10.30'ish and word slept here...
today was sort of the same...program at 2, do science fair after school...my project is about psychological humor...corson (english teach) dressed up in a banana suit and we went to the local grocery store, i walked at a distance, and questioned the people who made reactions, and the people who didn't...it was funny, i tried so hard to not laugh, but a lot of people had really weird reactions...came home around 4'ish to find word at my sisters job...around 5 we started to study for his final ( i already took college algebra, so i help him with his homework)...now at 8 i am STARTING to work on my science fair project, research and all...i hope i get all this shit done by 7th period cause that's the grade for my final, since i am exempt...
this weekend is going to be hell...finals are next week and i have to make cheat sheets for my classes, i'm really not worried about most of my classes, cause i have mainly a's, but i have to keep my gpa up, i'm going for a 3.8 or so for the fall...i also have to apply to colleges....i'm such a procrastinator.....

blah blah blah...

wenros — 2004-12-10T11:12:13-05:00

that's all that i hear when she calls him, and she knows it too, that's what bothers me...that wench, i can't call her anything else cause i'll get in trouble...she knows what she does, that's why she does it...it's all good though cause life goes on, and there are others out there...more fish in the sea, right??
but since no one is going to read this, then i can say the following freely:
   i hate that fuckin bitch, i want to slash her tires so she can fuckin flip over in the road, and to flip late at night where her phone is dead and she is no where near anyone or any town for that matter. that fuckin bitch knows she pisses the hell out of me, and yet she keeps going with her shit...i try to be nice, but i just want to beat her ass so bad so she won't ever get up...that fuckin bitch needs to know her place, she's nothing, NOTHING...fuckin shit face of a bitch, UGH !!!
well i feel better now...wow, that works so good with me...well i have finals next week, so i have to semi-study this weekend...i say semi cause it's my secret why i really don't need to study...most of my classes are easy, it's just one class where i forgot to write down some of the board work, but it's all good...
my weekend is going to be spent at church, starting with a meeting tom at 9ish, i really don't know what i'ma do later that day, but i'm sure i can think of something...sunday i have to be up by 6.30 to be at church cause we're going to do a mass, rosary, offering of flowers, a pilgrimmage, amd a dinner of some sort and still have cce at 8.30, all of this is going to go on til about 7 or 8 in the evening, so i really won't have time to study, but it's all good...
looking forward to this weekend...

this made my day....

wenros — 2004-12-10T11:12:10-05:00

the funniest thing just happened...
the phone rang and i didn't recognize the number so i answered it on the speaker, to my luck, the male voice knew who i was, and yet i had no idea who he was...my mother talks to him and guess who it is??? my long lost love *lol* it's MIGUEL, a white complected, green/blue eye, brown/blonde hair, 18 year old mexican guy who has had a huge interest in me for about a little over 4 years (give or take). he has told my parents before, i believe it was at the recalentada for my sister's wedding or brothers, and he proclaimed his love to my family, and how he would like, if my parents gave him permission, to talk to me and to get to know me better...he's called before to talk to me, but i was usually not home or pretended to not be...he has even came a couple of times to try to see me...
   we start talking and he goes on about how it's been a while since we talked and that he still thinks about me and has feelings for me...we conversate about his job and my school...then he starts to tell me about how he is starting to build his house and that he wants to get everything paid for before he gets settled down...yes, settled down-marriage...and guess who he has in mind??? ME !!! that was really sweet, he says that after he has his stuff done, he would like to ask me to be his girlfriend...i simply said what i was trained to say "talk to my brothers, mother and father, and see what they think" and there, that was it...then he said for me to think about what he said...then he had to go cause he's calling from Beaumont...
that conversation made my day so much in many ways...it was funny, sweet and weird, all in one, how cool is that??
well it's getting late and i need some sleep, i've been staying up too late this past week, but it's all good...let's see what tomorrow brings...

kids can be bad (sometimes)...

wenros — 2004-12-12T10:12:01-05:00

this weekend was like no other, except there was more church activities...
yesterday morning was the meeting at church, and only 6 teachers (including myself) were there, that was bad...
i spent the day at home cleaning cause my father got after me on that...
i baby-sat my 6 month niece Jewel Marie Bosier, (she's so cute) cause my other niece (her older sister Coressa Isabella Bosier) was being bad and flipped over the couch landing on the corner of some steel/metal center table...she fell on her forehead and had to be taken to the hospital to get 5 stitches...word was helping me babysit, so that was fun...we stayed up watching tv and just chillin til about midnight when my mother came home...my mother was at the mañanitas ceremony at the church, and she couldn't take Jewel...my sister came for Jewel around a quarter after midnight, so word went home as well...i stayed up til about 2 watching tv...
at 6, my mother decides to wake me to go to our church to sing to the Guadalupe, i take a shower, get dressed and head to the church for the 7 o'clock ceremony...at 8 we leave to get our stuff ready for churchschool...churchschool is all good except we realize that in this years book, there is no chapter about CHRISTMAS !!! can you believe it, the birth of JESUS is not in the books...that's something i tell ya...
around 11.30 or so i go to miriam's to get the final exam we stole for 1st period (we're bad, i know, but it's all in fun) i come home and take a nap, i only slept 4 hours...i awake at 3 to find everyone gone to the park for the pilgrimmage, so i just stay home and call urbano over to copy the answers to the final...'bano leaves around 5.15, making me late for church...i get to mass and see GEORGE, an old friend, mass is over and we go to the gym for some free food...i help serve the food and get invited to join the church's volleyball team...i see ERNIE, and ERICA (word's rugrats), and his tia, my comadre (she's the godmother to my baby JESUS), and we come home walking cause it feels good outside...
i finally talked to word, he came home when we were at church so he took a shower and got somethings and left...i left him a voicemail telling him how missed he was, and my cordless dies on me...he said he came home 2wice cause he was hoping someone would be here...love my babe...he's the cutest and sweetest, when he's not being an ass...
and now i hope to accomplish getting some study time in for finals next week...
hope all goes well....
goodnight to the world....

finals day # 1 ....

wenros — 2004-12-13T08:12:07-05:00

today was 1st and 5th period finals...the funny part is that for 1st i have eng 4, and for 5th i have Span 3...first was easy, of course, cause my intellectual self did the final over the weekend, i didn't do the essay's however, cause i just couldn't think...spanish was easy as well, i didn't study, but i didn't need to, so that was all good...i passed the final onto my fellow classmates who i knew would need it...we're SENIORS~CLASS OF 2005~, we can do that !!!
after school i went to see if i could find me a J-O-B !!!
haven't really done anything since then so it's all good...
ain't that some shit, guys can change their moods about girls or anyone for that matter when another female comes around....i think that's what gets to me the most, the fact that they are like lightbulbs, on a girl and then off, just like that... guys, i am starting to not like them...but then there is ALONZO & BOB (who gives the best hugs in houston) !!!! *sighs* i'm thankful for those types of guys !!!! :)
and then my day went soaring to HAPPY-MODE !!! babe called, so that was fun...i called him around 5, but he didn't answer, so i left him a message saying i missed him and hope everything is going good, and if he had a chance, to call me back....i think it's so sweet, that now that he's moving out, he's coming to see if i'm here and he calls back as quick as he can....i miss him...but it's all good....i wish him so much luck in his new home...
***toodles***

does it matter???

wenros — 2004-12-27T02:12:05-05:00

really quick sum of the past couple of days....
the 23rd we cooked the chicken and made the salsa for the tamales that were to come...don't really remember what happened the rest of the day...
the 24th is really the important day to our family...we made tamales all day and lived up to the mexican name "tamaleras"...the things one finds out, family secrets...oh how i wished to be married just to share some of my experiences...that's the bad thing about doing things you're not supposed too...like sex...not saying that i have...not denying either...anyways...when my 5 married sisters talk of it, i am supposed to feel as if i don't know what they are talking about, but instead i just laugh and go along with it-without giving opinions of ANY kind...at 7 or so we went to my brother ROBERT's house to do the baby JESUS thing, then we came back home to finish making the food and get the house ready for our baby JESUS thing...
*did i mention that it snowed ALOT here...in houston it is really really RARE that it does...it really snowed a lot...brother JESSE and i made a video out in the snow, i made a snow angel on a car, and then WORD and i attacked the guys with snowballs...we ended up in war...after our fingers were freezing red, we went inside...the sweet things we do...
at 11.30 or so i got my present from WORD, it's beautiful...a gold diamond ring...he wanted to give it to me in private...it was funny cause he kept telling me how good i looked...i love that guy so much...
we did the baby JESUS thing where we sing and pray and rock him to sleep...afterwards we opened our presents...i got 5 pairs of toe socks and a shirt from my sis...this year i didn't look forward to presents cause everyone, including WORD and except me, pitched in about 100 - 200 bucks a piece or so to give as a present to my parents...GOD knows they really need the money, bad...then we were off to eat...
called pete and miriam (wife) at midnight to wish merry christmas...
christmas day we just ate tamales and we made bunuelos, or sopapillas as some people know them, i usually am the one sprinkling on the cinammon and sugar, but this year i let my bro do it...
**last night (25th) jesse, sabo, eric and word were looking like hobos, jesse turned on the bbq pit and they were drinking beer...word came in to get my gloves-that boy/man, can't take a hint...after a while i went outside...they ended up making a "inner city bon fire"...it was fun...i went and sat between sabo and word on the couch seat with my blankie, gloves and beanie...they were just talking and having fun...man the stupid shit guys say and DO when they're drinking...it was fun to share that experience with the guys...they're planning on taking me out for my 18th b-day...looking forward to that...we ended up calling it quits at 4 or so...it was fun...
26th...i ended up waking up around 1.30 or so...really didn't do much all day...went to the pulga with yola, and i think i might have found my prom dress...came home to find WORD's parents here...took shower got dressed and got some tamales ready to take to his tia's, my comadre, it's such a small world...flaca came over today with gabe, and some friends...went to comadre's house for about 5 - 10 minutes or so...my wife came to drop me off my present...
**we left like at 6.45 or so, and i got back at 7.45 or so...i had so much fun... WORD took me to this dead end, that was like on a hill, and the view was beautiful, it was downtown, so it was romantic...i love him so much that it makes me sick...afterwards, we came home, and just watched movies in my room on my "big screen"...
vinnie came over, so i made some hot chocolate...
the whole time word was in my room with me watching tv, eating bunuelos and drinking hot chocolate...he's so sweet when he wants to be...then they ended up leaving like at 11.45 or so to go drinking at sabo's house...the fucker hung up on me...that bitch...well the guys just got home like 5 minutes ago or so...it's 3.52 as i type...
i was chatting with ERIC on yahoo about crazy shit and girl problems, that's funny...now i am chatting with JOE reyna, some guy who graduated and was in the band...
GOODNIGHT TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOODNIGHT

surprisingly good day...

wenros — 2004-12-29T02:12:02-05:00

well first of all i'd like to say: HAPPY BIRTHDAY CORESSA ISABELLA BOSIER !!! it's my niece's b-day on the 28th, don't recall how old she is, but she's under 5 and older than 2...
my day was actually good today...
i awoke at 11 AM, which is really weird...but it's all good...i started washing clothes and cleaned my bed...called babe and left some voice messages...he's so cute !!! it makes me sick...
called PETE cause we've been trying to see each other since college went on vacation...we were to go to the library monday, but i forgot what happened, so we couldn't...oh yeah-he was busy or something like that....NEWAYZ...he called me at the same time babe called me...of course, i talked to babe...blah blah blah
pete tells me he's on his way to the library, and he'll see me there, if i go...duh!! i went, he was there sitting at the comp checking his e-mail...WE WERE MATCHING!!! how cute...lol...we only stayed for a bit cause it closed at 6 or so...afterwards we walked over to the bakery...he was ordering a burger when they ended up giving him enchiladas or something...it was fun!!! we split his food, well i actually picked out of his plate and put some extra chile on his food...he's so FREAKIN' cool !!!! we didn't even talk about anything, just messed with eachother's food for about an hour or so... then he paid like a gentleman... pete is to leave jan 4th or so cause he got an RA position at sam !!! I'M GOING TO MISS HIM!!! i practically call him every morning when i wake up between 6.30 and 7.15 before school just to tell him "goodmorning sweetcakes, cutie pie" or something in that nature, cause i know he doesn't have class til 8 or so...blah, enough about the COOL PETE...
**it's fun just hanging with an old pal you haven't seen in a while...even if it's just for an hour**
then i came home and got on the comp...my niece GIANNA was here watching tv, so we did that for a while...then around 10 or so i started to talk to this really cool guy from mindsay, ineedagirl...we actually have quite a few things in common...
now it's 1.05 and i'm going to call today quits...this is the earliest i've slept all vacation...

will children ever learn?.?.?.

wenros — 2004-12-30T12:12:13-05:00

so today was another day that started at 3 PM...i'm such a lazy bum...
my 3 year old (white) niece was rushed to the emergency room cause she fell on her head...it ends up that they were playing horse-y or something with my nephews, and when she tugged at his shirt, she slipped or what-not...our whole house is tile floor and that made her head bust...she started bleeding so that's the reason for the emergeny room...my sister called a little ago saying they put 2 or 3 staples in the back of her head...
last time it was the black niece (she's mixed) that busted her for head and had to get 5 stitches...
kids these days, they just don't listen...but they will someday...my black niece learned to not flip over the couches...and GIANNA, well i hope she learned her lesson...
i took a shower, and there was a knock at my door, it was babe!!! so i unlocked the door and ran back in the shower, when he opens the door, there i am, standing naked and wet in the shower...of all things he says that he's leaving...so nothing happened...
we ended up staying in my room watching tv...
now that he's moved out, we really miss eachother...we had the best passionate kisses...i love my babe so much, oh how i hope that we can live together-just to get away with everything that we do, and much more...we are such teases to eachother, and that's bad...cause that just makes us want eachother more...
it's funny how he can make me feel like shit at times, but 80 % of the time or so i am special !!! i love that guy so much it hurts...i hope that the new year brings positive things into our "relationship" ...
eventhough we're not bf/gf he still has much influence on the things i do...he doesn't control me or anything, he just doesn't want me doing anything stupid that can hurt me...
blah i can go on forever about him...

ok guys/gals, tell me what ya think...

wenros — 2004-12-30T01:12:35-05:00

about sex while on your period...
what are the pros and cons???
has anyone done it???
i think if you do it without a condom, there has to be like a calendar so you can know what days your "safe" ,if any, but that's only if you're on the 28 day cycle, or something like that...
so yeah mother nature kicked in, and we're in the mood...well i guess i can hold off for about 4-5 days...it ruined our new year plans, but we'll figure something out ;) ...

hello from kiddy land...

wenros — 2004-12-30T05:12:03-05:00

~~saaaaaaaaaaaasaddaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaewi;.p6hyrdc,0]j bhnm ]~~
~~'xXXXXXXXXN JKL xqw.~~
cgh jb k nsasWIGFUDGFSZ 8NKH ASQ2 A5
"
so yeah, that was my 7 month old niece typing...she did all of that on her own, i'm so proud of her...that rugrat, i had to play with her cause my mom was taking her sis a bath...
dont' really know why i'm writing, just cause i'm bored i guess...
i'm supposed to be learning my lines so i can be off the book for when i go back to school this upcoming tuesday...
so i went with my sis to the salvation army today...they have LOTS of books...for 49 CENTS... yay!!! i got me 3 books...i really don't care where people drag me along, as long as there are books in sight...i like books...i have more than 40, and that's cause i got rid of some...my school peers use to make fun of me cause 9th grade we were required to read at least 5 books minimum or so, and i read like 20 or so...i just think it's fun to read, i do it for the kicks-weird i know-but that's me...
blah i'm going to stop talking about books, instead i'll go finish my current book:
                  **GERALD'S GAME by STEPHEN KING**
i think i have about 200 pages to go, i'm like on 150 or so...
school is just around the corner, and i haven't gotten my hair cut...i don't know who to trust my head with...(lol) i'll prolly let it grow til my b-day, which is that sunday before PROM !!! so yeah, i'll figure something out...

finally!!!

wenros — 2005-01-04T12:01:10-05:00

yay !!! i finally got my comp. back...

alex is my computer doc, and even though i was supposed to have it back by new year's, it's all good...

vacation is over with...and i haven't really done much, but there is much to tell...

the year has just begun...(super long entry about crap)...

wenros — 2005-01-05T10:01:19-05:00

even though the year has just begun, i have already:

*had my first arguments
*cried
*lost track of time
*felt loved and hated at the same time
*had a teacher to be rude to me

so today was the second day of school...and again, i was almost late...i still have most of my classes...only one spot got changed, i am now taking PRE-CAL B for 4th and 8th, so much for skipping those periods to go with the guys...i failed part B last year, and even though it's PRE-AP, my teach is letting me retake it, the best part is that i can still REREGISTER to recieve college credit...i have the 3 hours from the fall, but she withdrew me from the spring semester cause she knew i wouldn't pass...

my day went smooth...in 5th we didn't do anything...in 6th we did warm-ups, physically and just chilled afterwards...i think starting next week we still stay for UIL "rehearsal"...

in 7th, we TOOK NOTES...it's funny cause EVERYONE was actually taking notes...we all agreed it was because we were discussing DNA and cause it's the first day back....we got off topic, like always, and were talking about the vagina and GOD knows what else...we make A LOT of sexual innuendo's in class, especially cause we have a mother, a gay guy, and many NON-virgins in our class...we poke fun at our teach MS. VanDuyn cause she's not married and still kinda young...but it's ok to talk about sex and whatever we want cause: 1. we're SENIORS !!!! 2. CLASS OF 2005 can do whatever we please 3. it's AP BIOLOGY, anything goes...

today was my first day back in PRE-CAL so it was fun to "review" all the stuff i was supposed to learn last year, surprisingly i knew most of it...i think i just didn't apply myself as much as i could've...how in the world can i pass the THEA, which determines if you're ready for college level work, and not pass PRE-CAL...i even helped babe do his home work, and HE'S IN COLLEGE...i dunno, i'm just weird i guess...

yesterday as i was going to the restroom, i passed up Mr. Corson, Shanahan, Olson and two other students, of all things, Corson says to me "you were being very rude today Vanessa, you are one of my best students, you kept chatting and talking across the room (blah blah blah)..." i was so mad, not once did i "talk across the room" and i only "chatted" because we were all copying off of each other, i told him that was not true, and yet he insisted...that hurt!!! someone making false pretense about me, so i told him, with my "professional, "well speaking" voice"..."Mr. Corson, you are being very rude, you could have brought this to my attention in private, rather than speaking about this in front of other teachers and people, please tell me in private next time, now excuse me i have to go" and walked off, Mr. Olson and Mrs. Shanahan just looked at me and laughed at him, i could hear as i walked away "she got you!!!"

i miss choir class...oh, yesterday i had it for 4th and ms. Zellers came by to see how we're doing on our solos, and of all people she asked me to show her what i've done so far...i started off REALLY bad, but i told her i was "SHY" so she let me slide a little...after some vocal warming up, i "performed" my solo and she actaully liked it...everyone did...so i have about 20 days or so till the UIL comp, (i think) and i have to start actually practicing at home, since i don't have the class anymore, as if i did any practicing in class to begin with...

***forgot to mention***
in 2nd, Aguilar, p-jay was hungry so she asked if she could order a torta from the bakery across the street, Aguilar says, as long as everyone finishes their work, WE CAN ALL LEAVE SCHOOL TO GET P-JAY HER TORTA...so the WHOLE freakin' class went to the bakery cause P-JAY wanted a torta...if we were to get caught, we had an excuse "we're discussing obesity, and want to make a "documentary" video on what the public thinks" (it's a video class, so we get to walk around the school "making" a video of whatever we want, we usually don't accomplish shit, but it's all good) my group has tresspassed on school property,( the parts where there are locks and we can't go in, as referred by micthell, our cop) and were caught by the hisd cops, we've found new "spots" we've found "underground" tunnels, and we've been in most of the "basements", we've broken into the "clothing rooms" on top of the stage, they've crawled onto the auditoriums ceiling (the gap between the wirings and the brick of the school), get high or just smoke in the auditorium for "break", we know just about any spot that is vacant in our school....

personal life has been weird...i don't know what i'm doing anymore...i need help...i admit...i have psychological problems that i am not aware of...

my wife thinks something is wrong with me cause she says i look "skinny" as if i lost weight or something, but i had a discussion with her in lunch and i keep telling her that i am fine...i used to ask her to get her lunch for me, and now i eat about half of my lunch...i just don't have the same crave for food...i think i do it subconciously, cause i can just sit there and eat and eat...then i'll realize that i have eaten about 3 or 4 plates of something...i dunno...

i saw ALONZO yesterday...he said "i recognize that loud as voice" and there he was, standing at the door of my 2nd period (aguilar)...i ran and hugged him, we just held each other for a while...even though we...yeah, that's in 2004, and will stay in 2004...nothing has changed...he still comes over to hug me first, he still comes all the way across the hall or cafeteria to give me a hug cause he saw me through the corner of his eye, he still passes by my class and flashes me LOL...and yet, he still sees me the same "the girl who's body he loves" nothing sexual...that's why he loves hugging me, cause he likes my size or what-not...it's weird...

it's funny how no matter how "i flirt with the guys, or tease them, or temp them" they know they won't be able to get me...like one of them said "i think you're so pretty and would love to be with you anytime, but you're a SILVA, and i know that won't happen" ...funny how much a last name can do...some of the guys have that "potection" thing with me cause they know my older brothers, others have that "little sis" thing, and then there are the "don't you ever lay a hand on her" guys, who don't want to see me with another guy...funny how throughout my 4 years of high school, i have NOT had a BOYFRIEND from my school...mess arounds and stuff like that yeah...but nothing serious...lol...

***NOTE*** you must be really bored if you made it this far...

another day...

wenros — 2005-01-06T07:01:33-05:00

first was the same, we checked our vocab review and read more of Macbeth...

in 2nd, we watched Napoleon Dynamite, but we didn't get that far cause the bell rang, we got as far as DEB calling him about the BOOB incident...i answered my 3 questions about the movie and left...Alonzo helped me cause my head hurt and i couldn't think...

   *APOLINAR is in the class, and he said i looked really pretty today (when don't i lol)...then he asked if i had a BOYFRIEND, and i said the truth "NO", then he asked if i was looking for one or had one in mind, i simply said "no" again and he just kinda looked at me...funny cause he's been trying to talk to me since SOPHMORE year, around sept. or oct....he is SUPER cute!!!!, he has a really pretty clear complexion (like a light colored mexican tone) , redish pouty lips, really pretty eyes, with curly lashes, tall and slim...his lips are so soft!!!

physics was fun...we were talking about how the years have gone by, and the relationships we've had...GIZELA had quite a list of her dudes, my WIFE had a few of her own, JACKIE (lopez) didn't have a list (she was prolly lost or what-not) and well me, I had a few that weren't supposed to be known to the public...then we started talking about PROM and dresses, and all that good stuff...we're kinda dazed as to who we have in mind to take, or take us...lol...the whole PROM thing is weird, **let's hope i make it to prom...lol**

lunch was the best class of all...MIGUEL and LEANDRA were singing j.lo songs throught the lunch period (they're HUMONGOUS fans)...it was so freakin' funny...how i wish i had taken my camera to school today... people were looking at us funny, but we didn't care, when do we ever?!?!?! BOB came over and we whispered *SECRETS* to each other...lol...i love BOB!!! he was skipping some class to be at lunch...

4th was boring...SHANAHAN picked up the homework, and we did some review stuff on logs and natural logs...i ended up just reading some mag a girl had in class...
** YOU'RE A NATURAL LOG !!! that's SHANAHAN's new way of calling people PIECE OF SHIT...she's cool for a white "rich" teacher...last year she saw me standing a certain way, "showing some skin", i think i was bending over the desk or something, and commented on how jealous she is of my figure...i thought it was flattering for a 36 year old teach to tell me that... **

afterschool i helped SHANAHAN cover her door for the college door comp that is going on...the deadline to decorate was today at 3.30, school let's out at 3.30...it was fun trying to stick things together without getting caught by the judges...then i called babe to pick me up cause it was too cold to walk the 6-7 blocks home...the blocks are kinda long, so it takes me about 15-30 to get home, depending the speed i walk in...

tomorrow is college awareness day, so we get to wear college related clothing...*woopie* i don't think i have anything from TEXAS STATE, so i think i'll just wear a sweater or a button or something...

so the dinner was cancelled for today cause mr. Campbell is sick, i hope he is ok, and he'll be fine for tomorrow or what-not...i think his pressure might have gone up cause he was getting stressed about getting the paperwork in for UIL and what-not...i just hope it's not bad enough to go to the hospital...

blah blah blah...

wenros — 2005-01-09T01:01:41-05:00

so i really don't recall what i did friday...

oh yeah...talked to babe online...since he lives at his sis's he takes care of the rugrats and gets on the comp a lot...coochie works at time warner tooo, so they have free cable and internet too...so after awhile erica (niece) gets on and says she wants to play with me...it's so cute that they look for me, they get babe to call me just to say hi or what-not...so we played for a while...they're so cute, but they're BAD!!! just like my rugrats, but prolly worse...but it's all good...

lol...talked to my wife and we had our fun...i'll post that later, it's too much...we were telling each other how much we love each other...

today i had a meeting at church at 9.30, instead of 9 oclock like the secretary told me...so yeah i was there REALLY early...we have meetings on the 2nd tuesday of every month...this month we get evaluated so we have to make sure we do all the things we didn't do in the fall...blah, i hope we do good...*have faith*...so yeah...got out of the meeting at 10.30 and just chilled at home...

around 3.30 called babe, and he was still asleep!!! that bum, turns out he stayed up til 6 in the morning...anyways at 4.30 i jump in the shower cause we had mass at 5...afterwards we had a dinner thing for the teachers, and they gave us presents....**planners**...they're always complaining that not everyone shows for the meetings, so they decided to get us those...they're pretty, they have the church's name and on the outside is a slim pen, in it's holder...

***today was my first day going to mass in a really long time...and of all ceremonies, today's was about starting new...lol...*juan* i thought that was funny cause since the new year i have been hoping to change some things around to start off clean...he was just talking about going to a new place where no one knows who you are, so you can let go of many things...it was weird, but nice...i have to confess though, i have done some fucked up shit that i need to get off of my chest...i think fea should become a priest cause i tell her EVERYTHING...she knows all my sins and my accomplishments...so yeah, i just thought mass was strangely weird...***

got home around 8.30ish...and have been taking care of my niece cause my sis went to the club...

*oh yeah...my niece got her staples taken out about 2-3 days ago***

not much else to say, so yeah...

waking from my nap...

wenros — 2005-01-09T07:01:40-05:00

so yeah, took a little nap today, i was supposed to be cleaning, but i kinda fell asleep on my bed so my momma just let me lay there...

today was a short day...

well went to sunday school to find out that many teachers like to be late on the first day back from the break...most of the kids came on time, but some of the teachers kinda forgot what time class started...

so i went to stand at the other first grade door cause the kids were just standing outside of the classroom, knowing the door was UNLOCKED...so yeah, the secretary ends up telling me that i might have to teach that class...turns out the teacher was KIDNAPPED...yup, supposively it might be a INVOLUNTARY-FAMILY ABDUCTION case...the guy who they think took her can't be found (given)...so the kids were asking where they're teacher is, and all i could say was that she won't be working there anymore...i've been trying to find a pic of her, but i can't...so i'ma check the missing person file to see if there is one there, don't think they've put one up yet...

so yeah, i woke up to babe's phone call...that get's on my nerves, if anyone calls while i'm asleep, even if i told them to call, she won't give it to me CAUSE I'M SLEEPING...but if babe calls, she wakes me up, i guess it's cause i'll tell her something like "why didn't you tell me he called" (in a nice tone of course)...dunno...so yeah...he was coming over to get some more of his things and was wondering if i had them ready for him...so in the end, i woke my happy ass up and played with the kids while he got his shit...i think they're hooked to me or what-not...erica didn't want to leave...babe was walking out the gate, and she was here chillin playing on the comp with me...she's like "come back later for me, just a little bit" it was cute...and then ernie was like "come on erica, i want to get my ice cream, come back later"...i just realized today that he has a MAJOR lisp...really noticeable...but it's soooo cute....

blah enough about my in-laws (lmao)...

so yeah, the whole time i was napping, my family was outside making some BBQ, so i'ma head out there and see what they got...food awaits me...lol...

a, e, i, o, u, and sometimes y...

wenros — 2005-01-16T04:01:24-05:00

so yeah, i'm having an okie dokie *lmao* weekend...

really don't remember friday, but it's all good...oh yeah i went to school to get my report card, really proud of myself!!! yay!!! so...

yesterday babe went with me to church....i called him like at 12 or so, and asked if he'd go with me so we can bless the baby for his grandma...i got out of bed around 3 when he came home...he just laid in bed with me for about an hour or so, watching tv til i went to take a shower...

after church, we went to his tia's house so we can give his g-ma the baby, so now i have 2 comadre's in his family...after that we went to robert's house (i'm his godparent too) so we prayed and sang and woke up the baby...

***MY BROTHER IS ONE OF THE LUCKIEST PEOPLE...TURNS OUT THAT SOMEONE WANTS TO DO A HIT ON HIS TRUCK...CAN'T GIVE TOO MUCH INFO CAUSE THE F. B. I AND THE SWAT ARE INVOLVED-NO LIES...BUT HE IS SOOO FREAKIN' LUCKY....OUR FAMILY IS JUST PRAYING THAT EVERYTHING GOES WELL AND NOTHING HAPPENS TO HIM...LIKE MY MOM SAID, GOD WE PUT HIM IN YOUR HANDS...***

so yeah, after our scare our brother gave us, we ate and babe brought johnny and i home...

we just laid on my bed and watched some movies...after a while, everyone who was in the living room left, and so we were able to be in the dark...it's always fun to just lay there with a really great pal, and let the time fly...literally, the next thing we know, it's 2.30 and he has a half hour drive home, and i have to be up by 7...

today i didn't go to class cause i was being the secretary...i ended up the setting the alarm off cause i didn't get to the keypad in time...it was funny, scary, but funny...so yeah, i had to run around and stuff, it was fun...

so yeah, hopefully i'll see babe later cause he has my carmax, or what-not, and i need it...so yeah, hopefully he'll bring that later...

F!U!C!K!!!!!!!!...

wenros — 2005-01-17T07:01:13-05:00

why the fuck do people think it's ok to talk down to me??? what did i ever do to them??? DON'T ASSUME YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL, MOST LIKELY YOU WILL BE WRONG!!! just let me speak, and you will know how i feel, but don't tell me how i feel...that is my petpieve, DON'T ASSUME MY FEELINGS...fuck...

what kind of shit is that???

wenros — 2005-01-19T12:01:13-05:00

when you talk to a friend and they get all emotional about you messing with their feelings, and yet when you tell them something, they don't give a shit...i just think it's fucked up how they whine about "i tell you personal shit and you make fun of me" but yet when i tell them something that happened to me, it's like "no biggie" fuck that shit, how in the world is that fair??? and then when i say something, they're like, it didn't seem that way, as if people like to get disrespected all the time, yeah, only casue i'm a girl, i ask for it...what kind of shit is that??? he should just join the rest of the group, why not???

so yeah, my day was going good...got to school like a minute before the bell, but i managed to get there in time...i had to brush my teeth in the restroom, i didn't make it out of the shower quick enough, so i had to run out with scope in my mouth and my shirt in my hand, luckily i carry my travel kit, so it's all good...in 6th i made an oops with MANNY, it was too freakin' funny from our point of view...i kinda kicked the chair out from under him, and he busted his ass HARD!!! we busted out laughing hard...it was kinda wrong though cause he had just been told off by an underclassman who was moody he was kinda mad at me, so i didn't talk to him for a while...in lunch we sold brownies and cookies for the uil thingy, i sold them quicker than manny and i got to lunch late, lmao...i was made into a human sandwich today during lunch...it was too cute...there are some guys who can be the cutest and most wonderful people to be around, then there are the assholes who think girls are just specimens...my wife and i almost got into an argument, we just settled it a little ago, she thought i was DIVORCING HER...yeah, we've been married for 2 years, and yes she's a senior too...it's cute cause she thinks i'ma leave her...as if...i love her too much to think otherwise...brian is still on his power trip, and to think that i thought he'd grow up...i just don't understand guys, what's wrong with them??? why can't they just leave shit in the past, and grow up??? no, instead they feel as if people have to kiss their ass, well sorry to break it to you guys, but these lips don't pucker up for no one, well for one person, but he don't count, he can have me bending over backwards for him, and i won't give a shit...i just love my babe too much-i do the same to him, so it's all good...

blah, it's almost midnight and i haven't finished my homework...it's due first thing in the morning...

lmao...

wenros — 2005-01-21T12:01:02-05:00

so i had fun at school today...

i almost fell asleep in class...i dont' know why, but all of a sudden i have been going to sleep like at 1 or 2 for no particular reason...

in 6th we rehearsed from what was blocked yesterday...it seems as if i can't do anything right, well except for a couple of pieces, but manny said he'd help me so it's all good...if manny thinks it's 'kay, i'll take his word, i trust his judgements, i may not agree with everything he says, but it's all for the better , i think...enough about manny, it's weird cause for knowing him such a short time, we can talk about quite some stuff...btw he's the valedictorian's boyfriend, and Johnny.mindsay cousin...i think his girl was jealous cause she saw him sitting with 2 gals around 6 pm, after rehearshal, but come on, we were doing HOMEWORK !!! some people do have issues...

we sold cookies again today during lunch, so after the cookie sale, manny ate lunch with me cause his girl and his sis have another lunch, so it's all good...BRIAN is talking to me again...it was funny, but i'm glad he was able to mature...he gave me a starburst...so that was a start...

we finished watching the movie in 7th, so now i need to watch it on icontrol and take some really good notes...the paper is due in about a week or so, and minimum 2 pgs, but it's all good, cause vanduyn fixed the margins...we're so spoiled...besides it's for biology, what kind of a bio teach wants to read papers???

we had a test in precal...shit did i forget to study, and it's 11 at night, and i still haven't studied...we get some time tomorrow to finish it, but what's the point when you don't know shit???

afterschool i ran to marshall (middle school across street) and checked to see if ms. Zellers was there, to my luck she was...i really need to work on holding my note, and knowing some of the cue's...i just need to practice EVERY SINGLE DAY...but it's all good...we're the first from our school to do a solo comp, so we have some standards...i just hope i do really good...i told FEA about the comp, and she wishes me luck...

went to ara's cause i was supposed to study for the sat's i'm taking this sat, but we ended up on the comp...babe picked me up since he was coming home to get his mail and some stuff, so i called him when i was done...10 minutes...lmao...the shit we do...so yeah...cesar called, he got home around 9.30 or so...he was going to come over, but he lives kinda far, and my parents were napping, so i have to finish the project on my own...

they are GORGEOUS...

wenros — 2005-01-21T12:01:46-05:00

so i saw her the day before yesterday i think it was...i was doing the usual when i see her in the halls...shake my booty for her in front of everyone, or give her the hugest hug ever...this hug was different, i couldn't squish her nice plump boobs...lol...i was being funny and said "what, you got your boobs pierced" and she says YES...i couldn't believe her...i end up saying something like i want to see them, but i'd rather not ask...so guess what she says "WANT TO SEE THEM"??? i was like, thinking to myself of course, ARE YOU FREAKIN KIDDING ME??? YOU'RE GOING TO SHOW ME YOUR TIT!!! i was like sure, so she pulls her shirt forward, and there is her nipple, nicely pierced with a silver loop with 2 balls...it looked really pretty on her nipples...i saw fea, and i was like, "you're not going to believe what just happened" she's like what?? and i was smiling saying "she showed me her peirced tits" it was too funny...she is really pretty, with a really nice body...curves in the right places...that made my day...so yeah, i was off to class...

yes all of this happened in a matter of 2-3 minutes or so...

blah about today...

wenros — 2005-01-21T09:01:17-05:00

i felt like crap...woke up at 7.20, so i walked my lazy self into the shower...it felt so good to just be there under the hot water, but i had to get out...i was too lazy to get dressed...i ended up wearing my blue sweater and my blue bra...gotta match...so yeah, then i was off to the corner, my sis picks me up after she drops off my niece at the elem across the street...my day was such a blur to me...we had a vocab test in english, and i didn't even have the words, i don't study the words, they just kinda stick, it's more of a memory thing, if i can't remember it, i picture what page and what line it was, then to my luck, i can visualize the word and the defi...dunno, but it helps...so to my luck, i was able to "visualize" some of the words, then i noticed that priscilla (yes, juan you're ex) had the vocab out, so i was writing the defi's on my paper, jackie (not lopez) saw what i was doing, so she sat on the edge of her vocab so i could copy off of her...it was easy after a while...in 2nd p-jay was hungry so aguilar let us have his tuna, we watched forrest gump, p-jay loves that movie...in advocacy we had our senior meeting, so as SENIOR's, we were privileged to miss 3 period as well...GOOD, cause we had a test for physics, but instead we're taking it tuesday...then it was 4th PRE-CAL...i was super tired by then...i just got my test, and pushed my seat to the far corner, pulled out my notes and tried to finish my test...cheating AGAIN...then i fell asleep with the pencil in my hand, i got cold so manny let me borrow his jacket...i think out of our group, i tried to answer the most questions, i think jen missed about 5 or so, and maybe marilyn, and i think manny didn't do about 9...i need to study or what-not, cause i NEED to get exempt from that final *i failed it last year, so that's the point of retaking it, oh and cause we need 3 IN HIGH SCHOOL math credits, dumb laws* so yeah...afterschool i went to brown's room, where the SENIOR DVD is being made...it's coming out nice...called babe and he was still working, i kinda called too early, so he wasn't on his break yet...beck-ie and i went to the bakery afterwards, and i got home around 3 or so...i was to call babe, but mom was on the phone, so somehow i managed to fall asleep...i wake up around 4.30 or so to find babe at my desk leaving me a note...it was too cute, he turns around to lay it next to me, and there i am smiling at him...the letter was cute...blah, we ended up in a little dispute, but it's all good, babe loves me, and he knows i mean well...he left around 5 or so with the CON DI to get the disk changer in HER car, and yes, he's still with her...i have my SAT's tomorrow, so i have to review some stuff...

*fuckin shit pisses me off, why can't people just say a simple answer than going around the bush or saying "i know you're going to get mad, but..." what kind of shit is that??? why can't you just freakin' give an answer"*

just some funny shit in the hood...

wenros — 2005-01-24T02:01:30-05:00

so yeah, i was at babe's house when we got a call from my sis...someone broke into our backyard and my brother was with the cops...we got our shit and left...when we got home there were no cops in sight and everyone was inside already...this is what happened:

my nephew rudy (22 i think) was in the living room watching tv, and my brother johnny was in his room cleaning or what-not...they heard the dog barking, but didn't pay attention cause she's in her barking stage *where dogs don't let anyone near the house cause they're "strangers"* then all of a sudden a man was shaking the front gate screaming "hey hey"...rudy went outside to see what happened...the guy says "someone got into your backyard and stole some shit...he's around the block"...rudy runs to the backroom and tells johnny...the get the description and johnny goes in his car, and rudy goes on foot...johnny sees the guy and asks for directions, the guy gets closer and my brother gets out of his car...my brother grabs him by the throat and says something like "who the fuck you think you are stealing shit from my house" and mean while beating him, the guy was taller, so my brother kinda body slammed him into the fiesta cart...he puts the hoodie over his head, ties it and continues to beat him, punching him and such...the guy was like "no no, it wasn't me"...so my brother's like "i'ma keep punching you til you tell the truth"...poor guy right??? then my nephew comes and the guy is standing up at this point, rudy has a metal bat and is hitting his head and back and knees to drop him again, and both are just beating the crap out of him...my nephew *rudy* is like "do you want to keep your teeth, then say the truth" the guy was like "boss man boss man, it wasn't me"...so this lady across the street says "leave him alone, or i'll call the cops" so my brother is like "good, call him and i'll beat you too" he wouldn't but we talk shit to people who have no right in our shit...so this guy from our block says "the cops are coming" so my nephew gives him the bat and says to bring it home...when the cops get there, they ask what happened, and my brother is like, "oh, this man broke into our backyard" the cops says "why is he beat" my brother says "cause we had to throw him on the ground so he wouldn't leave" the cop is like "is that your stuff" johnny says "yeah"...then the officer says" well we got a call about 2 men beating a guy with a bat, where's the bat" my nephew says, "as you see sir, there is no bat, we've only knocked him down so he wouldn't escape..the cop asks the man if he's hurt or anything, and the man is crying saying he's ok, what else would he say knowing he might get beat up if he says "yes"
***did i mention all of this happened in front of a church***

episodes like these are common in our house...gangs have volunteered to beat people up after my family has put hands on them, my brothers have thrown beat up guys into abandoned warehouses, neighbors have helped run into people with their cars, my brothers beat this one man ,who also tried to steal from us, so bad that he shitted on himself-literally-the cops hosed him down to be able to put him in the backseat... when we go to mexico my father always has someone at his side, along with his gun, and he's known as "Don Silva"...people who know us know we can't be fucked with...my nephew (the same as above) almost killed a guy with a 2 x 4 cause the man hit my mother, my dad put some hands *slang term for beating the crap or kicked ass* on a guy cause he talked bad to my mother, and the same guy had a hit out for him cause he told my mother "what is to you"...just funny shit like this keep us together with close bonds...we've had car chases before, like 6 cars (with about a total of 20 people or so) after 1 man cause he was trying to pick up my niece as she was walking home from the store...my family is too funny...my sister got into a fight with a dude cause he said something stupid to us kids, this one guy was going to get beat up by about 20 guys or so cause he pushed my sister on purpose...one of the funniest was this one time we went to a wedding or so in mexico and some man grabbed my mothers glutes, he didn't know she was a Silva, so he thought he could get away with it, lets just say that he ended up crying "sorry"...even though our family always gets into arguments with each other, we have each others backs...

some info on my family:

my DAD, Roberto Sr. he used to box in his days, and people know to respect him or else...

my MOTHER, Maria is a fighter too...she has fun with bar fights, i honestly think she would look forward to the days my dad wouldn't come home, just to beat up some random lady...as long as you don't put her parents into your mouth, you're good...my mother dragged a woman in our little village in mexico cause the lady pushed my gma or what-not...my mother's blood boils when anyone does something to her parents, or says to her parents...she looks after us really good, school wise and stuff...she says "defendyourself, and if you're teacher is out of line call me" and that's how it's been, she's gotten teachers and principles fired, and she's been at the board of education...if we have detention, you better have a good reason for giving it to us, if not, don't even bother...the funniest *to me* was when my sis yolly was in elem, she was being bad or what-not so the teacher said she couldn't have her snak or lunch, my mother went up to the school with a burger and the whole meal, and some tacos or what-not and made my sister SIT ON THE PRINCIPLES CHAIR, AND EAT HER LUNCH THERE, and when she was done, my mother took her to her class so she could take her nap...my mother gets "crunk" when it comes to being fair...but it's always funny...

eldest sister JC doesn't like to start shit, but if you make her, you better be ready for a beating...she's used to fighting with guys...
---niece Connie (19) has some hands on her, she's gotten into some guy fights as well...what else do you expect when your best friend talks shit and then your bf gets jumped, you just gotta get in there, stand by your man...
---nephew Rudy (22??) is heavy set, so he can hurt someone...he may have some weight, but he can still kick ass...

sis Margie is the nice one, she'll just tell you off til she's done...
---she has 2 kids as well, but they don't count yet

sis Chris, we'll she's more of a drinker than a fighter, she really hasn't had the luck of getting into fights, she was the only girl in the boys club when she was little, and got a certificate, so that counts for something...oh i totally forgot, she knows how to jump through trains in motion...
---Jacob (6??) & Daniel Jr (8??) are her rugrats, their first fight was when daniel first went into pre-k, someone skipped him and somehow they *both* beat him up...Jacob isn't scared, so he'll stand his ground, and Danny has the strength...

eldest brother Robert has a really heavy hand...when he was younger he used to get beat up a lot by black kids *we were the minorities in 5th ward (black hood) we now live in NORTHSIDE (mexican/hispanic "barrio")*, and my mother was the type that didn't like fights, so he would get his ass kicked...he started to defend himself when he was left in the street unconcious, my sister and him were coming home from school and they were getting chased by some black kids, he told her to run, but she didn't want to leave him, he told her to call my uncles, but it was too late, 4 guys or so jumped him...ever since then he's put his hands to use and people left him alone...he's left people unconscious from one hit in the face...
--his daughter Guadalupe *lupita* is a year or 2 and has a heavy hand too, she's strong for her age...

sis Elisa fought this huge 300 lb or so girl, and she was really popular *voted most popular in high school 3 years in a row* and was very diverse, so she made friends with a lot of the gangs, they all looked after her and us...
--her 2 girls don't count yet, Coressa is 4?? and Jewel is 1...

my sis Yolanda *yola* is the rebel, she had the most middle schools in our family, she was kicked out a lot for fighting...lost track of how many fights...she will tell you off, and don't start shit unless you're ready to handle business...we used to call her "la muther fucker" cause she was was always into shit one way or another...
--her rugrat Gianna is a fighter too, "you're not my mommy" is her comeback...you can't tell her shit, cause her nostrils flare...she's about 3 or 4...

brother Jesse *j* (22) tries to handle shit verbally, talking it out, he'll just clown you in front of everyone and make you shut up and walk away, he's the cool guy that has friends everywhere, people didn't ever really start shit with him cause they were too afraid to get beat up by a shit load of guys...this one time a guy from school made some remark to my nephew rudy, and jesse heard about it, he went up to the guy, through him into the locker, and said "don't you ever talk to my nephew like that again" the guy was like, "i didn't know ya were related" j: "we have the same last name..." the guy didn't ever say anything bad towards my nephew after that...the nicer side of him: some guy jumped the fence into our yard, and my brother knew everyone was going to get him, so he opened the gate and said "just leave, and don't ever come by here again" that was about 4 years ago, and we've to this day have not seen the guy...

baby brother Johnny Castillo (19) has the strength and can pick up about 2wice his weight or so...people really don't tell him shit, i do recall when he got into a fight with some guys from my school at the park...it was about 10 or so of them, and just him and his best friend JOE...the next day i heard about it, and some of the guys were telling me that they weren't against him anymore, i think they knew they were going to get it worse...some people at school don't know that we're related, so it's always fun to hear guys talk shit, but once i ask what they said about my brother they say nothing, and within the day or so, they ask around to make sure someone's not after them...

and then it's ME, little 'o me, Vanessa (17) i'm not into talking shit about people, but if you have something to say, say it to me, cause it really makes me mad when you speak behind my back and i don't like wasting my time on people, i have better things to do...my first fight was the summer of 5th grade, i was in choir and this girl kept talking shit about me, i was like handle your shit, so i jumped the seat in the van and pulled her down into the seat...it was fun...i've had 2 fights in high school, 1 was from a girl, who to this day i have no idea why she doesnt' like me, and the 2nd with a girl from gym, yes, it was a LOCKER ROOM FIGHT...funny how people can talk so much, but when it comes to face-2-face, they turn the other way...i really don't care if you DON'T like me, i'm here to have fun, and not care about what people think, plus if you do talk behind my back...THANK YOU FOR SPENDING TIME TO TALK ABOUT ME, GLAD SOMEONE THINKS ABOUT ME...

*if you made it to this line...what in the world were you thinking????? who is crazy enough to read this???*

weekend is gone, and another is on it's way...

wenros — 2005-01-24T09:01:15-05:00

saturday i took my sat's at milby, it was weird cause i think i did better on math, but really crappy on verbal...johnny picked my up and afterwards he took me to get some "tacos del pantion/muerto", we call them that because they're next to a funeral home...we just chilled at home and i forgot what i did after that, it's kinda a blur to me at the moment...oh yeah, i called babe cause i hadn't talked to him, and we kinda got into some shit...i ended up telling him that i didn't want him in my life, i didn't ever want him touching me or telling me hi, or to even speak to me...it was funny cause i was in tears and he didn't have anything to say...we talked it out *meaning i apologized* and i just told him to forget about the whole shit i told him...we're such punks to each other, i kept falling asleep on the phone so around 2.30am or so he told me to go to sleep...he's so sweet for being a dumbas...babe knows how i am, so he knows how to control me or what-not...

sunday, i spent the day with babe, after church school, we (ernie, babe & i) went to eat breakfast then he came back for me around 12.30 so we could pick up erica from church school...after that we went to get them some shoes...around 1.30 or so we went to his house cause we didn't have anyother place to go...today was my first day going to his "new" house...it was funny cause he said something about moving back in with us, and he asked how i felt about it...man does he live far from me...no wonder he doesn't like to leave so late from my house...he gave me a tour of it when i got there, it's a nice place, it's a 5 bedroom and 2 or 3 baths...we just layed there, not doing much til we got the call from my sister around 4.30 or so...

the good times just keep getting better...

wenros — 2005-01-25T12:01:47-05:00

ah...this is the life...having people flip over the dumbest reasons...i just think it's hilarous how people say others are immature and need to grow up when they're the hipocrites and should look in the mirror...what has the world come to when people need a "break" form friendship??? what is the human species coming to when one person tells the other "you have to leave" why don't they just excuse themselves out, if they're the ones feeling all shitty and...yeah...i don't want to be too mean, so i'll stop...life is too funny to miss out on shit by being mad at one another...but some people think they're better off that way, one day, when they are alone and with no friends, becuase they didn't like certain shit, even after years of knowing a person, then...they will realize that they should've just taken a deep breath and looked at the situtaion...what if your friend went into the hospital, but you were too busy ignoring them, that all of a sudden they passed on??? then what??? what would you feel then??? i guess that's why if i'm mad at someone or whatever, i let it out there, so we can get shit straight, cause you'll never know what may happen to that person during your "break"...people are just too funny...people need to grow up...

When we cannot change our situation, resolution comes through the way we choose to handle it within ourselves..........GERALD COFFEE

You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him find it within himself..............GALILEO

a moment of thought...

wenros — 2005-01-25T12:01:43-05:00

in 4th period josue and his cousins came around asking for donations for one of his cousins funeral...you could see the hurt in his eyes when they first walked into the room...the one who passed was Johnathan Solis, he was to gradute as well this year, he passed this weekend...i went to give my 50 cents and some change the girls had, and i just held him...they let out a tear when they said "we really appreciate your help" it was so sad... why young people are leaving this world they call home we don't know...but they're in a happy place as well...we're to remember the many years we knew that person and thank god for lifting them in his hands...

been a while...

wenros — 2005-01-29T06:01:00-05:00

so yeah, it's been a while...life has had its turns with me...

i've been staying for the uil play rehearsals, but it sucked cause the main actor had the flu so he couldn't come to rehearsal...thursday we stayed for only a little bit cause i forgot...manny, tempest and i stayed in the room SINGING...it was freakin' hilarous, MANNY CAN'T sing for crap...it was so cute....tempest has a really pretty voice so we kept requesting songs...they kept trying to get me to sing, but none succedded...later that night i call manny and he plays the titanic song on his guitar (well only the little part he knows) and i sing for him...that CON DI...i always fuck with him cause he doesn't have time to help me with my homework cause he has to go with his GIRLFRIEND...it's too funny though...school is going good, i got my progress report friday and i have 5 a's and 2 b's i think....i forgot, but i was bragging to GAB cause she got a F....i'm usually the one with the f, so it was fun to rub it in...hope my grades stay that way...turns out i have to take US HIST again cause it's AP, and there is no whole course credit for AP...that sucks, so i think i'ma ask babe to pay the 50 $$$ for me to take the class...i might have an interview next with a spanish tv station...oh i took my senior pics thursday, i didn't like it, so i think i'ma retake it next week or what-not...alonzo was trying to get me to skip to his house, but i had a quiz in 4th, so i couldn't....it was cute and funny...so yeah, babe got mad cause i got nominated for biggest flirt...joe came over to help me with my song, it turns out the comp for my solo is FEBRUARY 5TH, i thought it was the 12th, so i hope i do well...

babe came over today, we were supposed to go eat, but the restaurant is closed today cause the lady was sick and she didn't want to open, his brother is the chef there, so that's how we know... so we might just eat breakfast tomorrow or what-not...we stayed on the phone last night til about 3.30 or so, we really didn't talk, we just sat there with the phone to our ears...he was playing unreal, and i was there cheering him on, i think he is going to join a cult or what-ever it's called...when the comp was real close, he'd ask me to call him back....i would and he'd be happy, so i knew he won...he's really good, usually comes in 1st, and at times 2nd...halo is another one of his fav games...they go to alex's and have halo comps...my babe is too cute!!! we just sat here on the bed watching tv...it always fun just to lay with him and be bums-we do that best...

well i have to do a lot of shit...my brother just e-mailed me, and he was asking about how my college search is going...i am going to apply to some colleges and scholarships today **or at least i am telling myself i am**

question to all that can answer or just have input...

wenros — 2005-01-31T12:01:17-05:00

has anyone had sex while driving or vice versa??? i mean like you ride him while he drives on the freeway??? or a blow-job...or fingering...whatever the case may be...

so yeah...has anyone gotten pulled over for that or what-not...

or any other experiences would be nice to know...

the other day...

wenros — 2005-02-01T11:02:11-05:00

i was in 3rd and flirting with my FEA...she's so cool...i was bending over infront of her and asking if she wanted to put her hands in my gloves...i put one glove in each back pocket, so it's hanging by the wrist...she's like "it doesn't fit" so she sticks her hands in and pulls them out...we're just laughing so she puts them on and sticks her hands into my back pockets!!! lmao...we bust out laughing, so i tell BILLY (mr. Davis) look at what she's doing, tell her to stop touching me...he's so religious "now now girls, girls should be with boys" we all mess with him...I of all people, i flirt with him!!! it's so freakin' funny...he's like "you're my student" so i say something like "but Billy when i graduate i won't be your student anymore, AND i'll be LEGAL" all in a flirty voice...that class is so much fun!!! so she's still with her hands in my back pockets, then for some reason i tell her something and she sticks her hands in my BRA!!! lmao...it was so freakin hilarous!!! i love that chick so much it's weird!!! i think this happened yesterday....

today was a nice day...in ap bio we were talking about hereditary, and we managed to get on the subject of condoms, oral sex, birth control methods and all that good stuff...it was so funny cause Fili was like "what is a female condom" so i was like "it's....." it was so funny cause myla (Ms. Vanduyn) was like, "wow she can say it better than me" it was too funny...she drew it and we talked about the emergency pill and God knows what else...gab and i were talking about how in our scrapbooks our favorite class is going to be "sex ed...oops AP BIOLOGY"... funny how teachers can't talk about contraceptives and what-not with us, but yet we have a day care center for all the pregnant chicks kids...we're going to miss that class...

we didn't have rehearsals for today cause ms. moore wasn't feeling good and cause RUBEN has an auditon for a movie...i told him "good luck...i mean BREAK A LEG"...lmao... i was so happy cause i was feeling like shit...(manny says "at least you don't look like shit", he's really good at cheering me up or anyone for that matter) i called babe and told him i was going home, but he was in the shower so he told me he'll just come home after school or what-not....

got home and just curled in bed and watched tv til babe came home to get my umbrella...after school he came home and asked if i could cook him some food...so we just ate and laid in bed watching MAJOR PAYNE...that's one of his fav. movies he practically knows all the lines...he just left about half an hour ago or what-not...

so yeah i'ma go to sleep cause i feel like shit...

dunno dunno...

wenros — 2005-02-04T12:02:04-05:00

so i woke up earlier than usual today, well not really, but a little bit yeah...

my day was the usual, one can say...

really not sure anymore of what happened today...

i called babe during 8th cause i had to remind him that Mr. Nibbles II didn't have anymore food...so there i go walking around the school til i make my way to Aguilar's class, i think they were watching School of Rock...anyways, i call babe and he just got out of work, and it turns out that he can't go buy the food cause he was to go to court so he won't go to jail (he has a warrant for his arrest), then i think a stop at the bail bonds place, then to school...so i was like, ok, i'll see what i can do...

i go to rehearsal afterschool and to our luck it was only manny, paige and i...we did pretty good, i think...then after that ms moore came and messed us up, so it's all good...then manny and i stayed so he could help me with my solo...

got home and called babe, he sounded really stressed, he couldn't find some paper from defensive driving, so we had to hang up...we agreed that i would get the food cause Mr. Nibbles can't go another day without food...

so yeah, to make a long trip short, eric took me all the way around to petco...and now i am proud to say that i am a PETCO PAL, i saved myself .75 cents today...YAY !!! the food was more at petco than at the store babe takes me to, but i don't know how to get to it, all i know is that it's on shephard NORTH, i think...so yeah...

got home and made me a cup of cereal, then i saw something out of the corner of my eye, it was babe!!! he was hungry so i made him a big bowl of cereal, i was lazy and he wanted something quick...then i washed the dishes while he talked to my dad about court and stuff...then he said something that hurt my feelings so i just ignored him til we got to my room...we just laid in bed watching MADE...it felt weird to call him edward, but i had to, i was hurt...then he had to go cause he had to go for the kids...as he was leaving i was throwing my mini fit so he couldn't leave, then he pulls me towards him, and says that he hates me, and that i make him mad...for some reason we started to make out!!! it was freakin hilarous...i bit his lip, then he started to leave but i pulled him back to give him a kiss but somehow we started to make out again...he got me all x-cited then he just started to laugh and walked away...we kept doing this back and forward to each other til it got to the point that clothes was starting to be removed...lmao...we were on the porch, but since my father extended the living room, there is a dark hidden spot on the porch...then it got to the point where he really had to leave, so as he was walking out, he noticed the neighbor's across the street sitting on their porch...i just hope they didn't see what we were doing...that would be horrible...so yeah, he left home and left me here...

well it's 11.30something and i have to get some sleep cause tomorrow is a big day for me...i hope i do well...

hey everyone !!!

wenros — 2005-02-04T10:02:04-05:00

LOOK HERE!!!!!

well as ya may know, today was my uil solo vocal comp... i was really nervous and i almost cried, but the judge was nice, and she said i was really pretty...we waited for about half hour to get our scores...and guess what????

I GOT A 1, AND A GOLD MEDAL!!!!!

i'm so happy, i get to go to austin in may!!! kathyrn and i are the first from our school to go to uil for vocal, so we're the first to get GOLD too!!! we've set a record!!!

i'm so happy...i am calling all my relatives and really close friends tonight!!!

yay me!!!

what a tiring weekend...

wenros — 2005-02-07T11:02:20-05:00

friday:

Gizela picked my up cause my sister went into surgery friday...funny how we just sat there cause they were too cold to go outside...school was 'kay...really don't remember...oh yeah, in 2nd, we watched white chicks...that was fun...afterschool i went to mr. campbell's room so he could help me with my piece...lmao...umm...so yeah i called babe and told him my plans for the day...fuckin' dumbass...then i came home for about half hour, then my dad took me to marshall to rehearse with ms zellers at 3.30...she made me perform in front of 2 guys cause i said i was nervous...they gave me some good crticism...i'm not like other people, i accept it and try to work with it...then i came home and took a shower and called babe *dumbass* then i went to school...got there and they were waiting for me...turns out that only 3 of us were able to go...when we got to nimitz, it was weird...i was sooooo nervous...there were some really really good singers there...we just walked around and tried to relax...around 7.30 or so it was our turn, and i sent in kathryn first. I felt so bad cause she came out crying... i didn't know what to expect...next was jeanette, she had some really good notes, she came out kinda sad...i ran to them and asked for some tips and got a 'do great hug'...one advice jeanette gave me was to NOT go up to the judge and say hi...so i simply went in and smiled and greeted her simply, it was soo funny cause my stand was my pageant stanze...lmao...i was so nervous, i didn't hold one note long enough, and she noticed that...afterwards was the comments...they were the same as ms zellers, so that was kinda embarrassing...she said i was pretty though and that i had a pretty voice, so that was a plus side...then we waited for our results...we just sat around (jeanette and i) and talked about people and the school and such...on the inside i was thinking, please just let that one note slide... oh it was funny cause we had gone to the restrooms and they were small!!! it was too funny...if you stood up, you could see into the restroom next to you...then mr. campbell and zellers went to get our scores...zellers said she was proud of us and had a really straight face, without any emotion, i was scared, i thought we had did really bad...then she gave kathryn her medal, and she waited for kathyrn and i to stop hugging and gave me mine...babe was the last person i called, once i got home...i think joe was the first person i called...then i got home and called everyone... after that i just went to sleep...i was tired...

saturday:

what time did i wake up??? i think i called babe when i woke up and stayed in bed til about 4 or so when i had to take a shower...i put all my make-up and everything i might need into my little black purse and headed out the door...i finished getting dressed in my sister expo...so that was fun...after about 2 hrs, we go to BEAUMONT, to some mans wedding...he's from our rancho, so there were a lot of mexicans there...how i missed being a mexican female til saturday...at first it was calm cause the lights were on, but once the mexican band started playing, we got the 'party started'...i started dancing around 7.30 or so, and didn't stop til 2, with the occasional sit downs here-and-there...my feet were killing me bad!!! i felt bad cause if a guy came up to me to ask to dance and i didn't really know who he was, i'd say no, but if one of the guys (from our ranch) came up, i'd get up like nothing...it was soooo much fun...then it was time to do some celebration, so the lights were on and they were just playing some old songs, and yes it was "el carneval" i doubt i spelled it write, but neways...i started dancing it with my sister, then we got juan to dance with us, then noel started to shake his hips to me, so we strarted to "battle" it was so freakin' funny cause i was laughing my ass off while trying to keep his step...all the viewing guys were just whistling at us and cheering us on...noel is about 30 or so, so one can imagine how much fun i was having...all the guys are older than me...man how i miss going to mexico for the holidays...then he kept stepping on me, like everyone else, cause i didn't have any shoes on...it was cute cause he was worried about me cause the floor was really cold and i was starting to get hot and sweaty, so it was bad for me to keep dancing like that...so yeah, after all the dancing we got home around 3.30-4...i called babe when i got home, but there was no answer so i just left him a message...

sunday:

man i woke up with a sore body, my WHOLE body was sore, i don't know how, but my NECK was sore!!! it was too freakin' funny, i couldn't walk or do anything...but i managed to get myself into the shower and into some jeans...went to church school and afterwards i just came home...my niece connie called saying she was coming for me...so i ran into the shower and got into my boxers and a sports bra and waited for her in my room...we got dressed and went to aranda's...man we ate a lot... a huge bowl of menudo, a plate of flautas, and the special of the day, which was shrimp/chicken/fajita...then we were off to take pictures...it was so flattering cause as we were entering the mall this guy says "ya'll look good" and opened the door for us, we just smiled and said thanks...he was sweet and said "ya're welcome"...i was the middle girl in the picture, so i had 2 hands on my ass as we were taking pics...it was freakin' hilarous!!! then i got spanked...the fun times...then they had to leave cause joanna was celebrating her 21st b-day with her parents...i called pete and we talked for a bit...then babe came in the middle of the convo and was asking all these questions about, "who you talking to, why do you have to be in the dark" so i just hung up and made him stay...we ended up watching the super bowl in the living room and that was fun in the weird way...he ended up leaving around 10.30 or so...

my weekend was a tiring one...my body is sore and hurts in many places...good luck to whoever made it this far...

trying to get over it...

wenros — 2005-02-14T12:02:14-05:00

so yeah...

it's been a while since i've been here, but much has happened....

first of all i woke up tuesday morning and went to school to find out that i was sick!!! i made myself go to school last week cause if you miss you can't get exempt, and i'm holding off my absent days for our senior skip days!!! so yeah, i was BAD sick...i couldn't eat anything cause the smell of food would make me gag...since tuesday til yesterday all i had to eat was a thera-flu for breakfast and one for when i got home, which was around 5.30 or 6...i'm so dissapointed to say that i have lost ANOTHER 5lbs...so i think i'm down to 98 lbs or so, it's actually less, but i'm ashamed to say how less...that's BAD!!! one of my teachers let me sleep in class wednesday cause i looked horrible, so i was sleeping from about 10 am-5pm...i slept A LOT!!!

i didn't do any classwork cause i was too sick, so my wife and others did it for me...she loves me so much...i didn't do any homework either cause all i did was sleep...but it's all good...i have some make-up work to do, but it's all good...

well friday was the senior coronation, so we voted in the auditorium, ended up being that ONLY seniors voted which sucked cause for many past years it's been the WHOLE school...i was up for 3 categories : biggest flirt (automatic winner), friendliest girl (what-ever you call it), and Mrs. JDSHS...i helped count the ballots, even though it's against the rules cause my name was on the ballot, but we really didn't trust anyone cause it was stiff comp for Mrs. JDSHS...i stayed at school til about 5 and the coronation started at 5.30, but the actual ceremony at 6.30...i went home and fell asleep, afterall i was still sick....got dressed and went to school...i was so mad cause i lost by 2 freakin' votes, to a girl who has done SHIT for our school...the only reason she won is cause she's mixed with black, and our school is mainly hispanic/latin and black...so it was a really close call between us...it was funny cause our class president didn't stand a chance...our class sponsor was mad and so was the assistant principals, they so knew i won it fair, but by ballots, she did...the whole ballot was a fuck-up...fuck it...i stayed for the dance, why not??? it was a BLAST!!! miguel and larry were giving me lap dances and one of our class sponsors was taking pictures of me giving him a dollar!!! it was freakin' hilarous...i hope i get a copy of the pics, and i'll prolly post them later...everyone was just being stupid and having fun...after all the fun and pics, we stayed to clean up the commons, and afterwards fea and the girls brought me home...

yesterday was hectic...i was awoken at 9 cause we had our teacher meeting...after that i came straight home cause we had to cook a LOT of food...we had our wakening of the baby jesus, so we had many people over...some were eating outside and others in...went to sleep at 2, and had to be up at 8 cause class starts at 8.30...we made valentine cards today for someone we cared about...today i just washed clothes and tidied up my room...well it's 11 and my dad is home, so i have to sleep...

just a quick update...

wenros — 2005-02-19T06:02:07-05:00

so yeah the mail came in today and there was a letter for my brother....

he's NOMINATED for THE DEAN'S LIST !!!

i'm so proud of him, he graduates from TEXAS STATE-SAN MARCOS, formerly southwest texas state, in may like a week or so before my graduation...he's applying for GRAD school in NEW YORK...so i hope that goes well for him...

so much good luck has been coming our way...i just hope i use my luck well...

oh yeah, i took my contacts out, and now i see blury, i think i messed up my vision worse...*that sounds like a dumb sentence huh???* so yeah...what i mean is that i am sitting at my chair looking at my comp, and i have to squint a little...oh well...

so yeah, i'm here doing college search to see where my dumbass wants to apply to...wish me luck...

so yeah...

wenros — 2005-02-21T09:02:21-05:00

so i finally got around to watching SUPER SIZE ME!!! yay!!! we watched it in 2nd today...i am still amazed at how he lost 1 pound...and that it took him about another year or so to lose the pounds he gained...

i got sent to my managers office today in 1st, it was so freakin' funny...we had the weird sub, JUAN, i don't know if you remember her, but she was the one with the crazy rules that you can only fold a paper 2wice, and if you have any questions or comment, you need to write it down...so yeah, she moved me from my desk and then got mad cause i went back for my stuff...she was threatening to write me up, and i was like "ok ms, when you're done just come to my desk and get me" so she wrote me up and i went to my manager...hamilton was like "what happened???" he signed my card and said to just sit the rest of the class in the office...i ran some errands and helped sharpened pencils for tomorrow...then my 30 minutes were up and it was time to go to 2nd...oh yeah Kendrick was in there too, and we were laughing our asses off cause he almost got into a fight with hamilton...mr hamilton ended up apologizing and said that he was just under a lot of stress and to sit in the office with me...it was so freakin funny cause they were arguing outside our class and you could hear kendrick, "i'm not garbage, your momma is garbage" they were screaming at each other, it was so funny...

i walked K-Y to class today, then he gave me my kiss and i walked him to his seat...he's so freakin cool and i've only known him for about a month or so...he's such a sweet person, whenever he sees me, he gives me a hug and kisses my forehead or what-not...last week he admitted to liking me and said he wanted to talk to me in the beginning of the school year, but he was shy and he thought i was with ALONZO...his real name is Daniel, so when i see him i call him by his name, "it makes him feel special"...

rehearsal has been going good, moore kept getting mad at tempest and i cause we wouldn't walk on stage at the same time...so if tempest got something wrong, then we had to start from the beginning of the scene, it was fun...

i called brian today, it feels so good to talk to him again...today at lunch i went and hugged urbano, and i gave him chills, but he liked it so it was funny...then i pitched in my dollar so brian could buy a bottle for tomorrow...i think he might have to buy 2 cause a lot of us are going to drink...but it's all good...the only reason i pitched in was cause i was putting in for my vieja...my drink is free cause it was originally going to be the both or three of us...so it's all good...it was so much fun talking to him...we talk about the craziest shtuff ever!!! how if he doesn't come home for the night but decides to come the next day, his stuff will be outside...lmao...we just have so much fun together...i think we need to have another date...it's fun just eating with someone and letting go...*plans for the future*

in 3rd my wife and i were talking about prom, and i think i have come to the conclusion that i am going SOLO!!! the person i had in mind is ...well it's not going too good, so i doubt we'll go together...fea and my wife say that i should take babe, but that would just be a disaster!!! i have 1 dress, but i still have to look for another...the first one i have is my back-up in case i can't find something i like...my wife didn't want to let me go, she just kept holding my hand...i guess it dealt with the fact that she had a fender-bender in the morning and kinda messed up her dads van...but it's all good...i love my woman soooooo much!!!

well tomorrow the re-frys through ju-seniors are going to take the TAKS test, so the seniors get to go on field trips !!! yay!!! lmao...as long as i get on the bus with the guys i'm good...my hunny bun and i are planning to get breakfast tomorrow...cause one can't drink on an empty stomach, it's not a pretty sight...so yeah, i just hope all goes well tomorrow...

well i have to wash some jeans for tomorrow, so til then...duece...

****JUAN, IF YOU READ THIS BEFORE YOU SIGN ON MESSENGER, JUST IM ME...****

what a day...

wenros — 2005-02-23T12:02:29-05:00

so today was a trip...

my wife and i went to get some bread cause she only wanted orange juice, so why bother getting a whole meal right??? so yeah, we went to the bakery cause i needed to eat something for the reasons below...

so we go to school and i walk my happy ass with my bag and orchata (rice water) to 5th period...i get there and p-jay isn't there...so i'm just there chillin eating my pan, and guess who walks in around 8.30 or so???? yup, p-jay, i give her the pan i bought for her and she feels oh-so-special cause i thought about her...then we head to the auditorium...

i find my woman and we sit together, and i save a seat for brian...we get through the whole name calling process and we realize that we are getting on different buses!!! so mr olson ends up asking the dumbest question: who wants to go to St. Thomas??? the whole auditorium went loud and everyone started moving around so as to get on the same bus as their friends...miriam, brian, urbano, and i were trying to stay together, cause we HAD to...

we get to the buses and we find like 2 seats in the back that are together and 2 others that are spread out...so after some talking to some of the guys, we were able to move around to where we were all together...then i took out my shot-glass and brian filled me up!!! lmao...we were drinking brandy on the bus it was so funny!!! he couldn't believe the fact that i could drink it like nothing...i was kinda raised on straight presidente (mexican liquor) so it's no biggy to drink for me...then we were just chugging the bottle, and my woman was just looking at me, she didn't say anything or object to it, she was just looking at me...then alonzo was laughing, why i don't know...so yeah that was the whole purpose as to why i HAD to have something in my stomach, cause if one doesn't have anything in stomach when you drink, it fucks you up, like you throw up and shtuff like that...it hasn't happened to me yet, so it's all good...

then we got to the university and we were all feeling good...not drunk, cause it takes me more to get drunk, but we were just chillin'...brian was asleep cause he had a blunt and a 40 and i dunno what else before school...then we did the tour thing and i ran into meghan, so that was cool...ALONZO was laughing at me cause i was trying to whisper to him something and the teacher was behind me and the reason he was laughing was cause you could smell it off of my breath, but he had to stay close or else the teacher would hear what i was telling him...lmao...it was freakin hilarous...

after that some shit happened which will never be spoken of after today...then we got on the bus to come back...i sat with alonzo on the way back and he told me one of the worst things a guy can say, while we were messing around, he was still with his girlfriend, and the reason we were messing was cause he liked me and he thought she was cheating on him...that killed my buzz NASTY!!! i was kinda laying on him, so when he told me that i just turned the other way and sat up...it was funny cause he was trying to reason or explain, but i just kept telling him that was fucked up...we ended up talking about his chick and my ex and other stuff...then we got to school, had some lunch and went up to Mr. Todd's room...Mr. Todd was laughing at me cause i call him Mr. Todd instead of Mr. Brown, or just Todd...he's such a cool teacher though...it's funny how i call teachers by their first names...

brian and i kinda got into it in the room cause he was talking shit to me, and me of course wasn't going to let him do that...so i was there just going off on him and after a while he felt stupid so he was like "nah, it's cool" but i was like fuck that, you were telling me shit a little ago, now you have to hear me out...i was laughing my ass off afterwards...then bob fondled me!!! it was freakin funny, we were sitting in the hallway and he leaned to give me a hug and we fell sideways, then since he's heavy, i couldn't get up!!! the guys were laughing their asses off cause it looked like we were doing it...bob was trying to push himself up and i was trying to squirm my way out...it was freakin hilarous, but it got rough so i hurt my arm...bob and i had our special moment where we shared our true feelings to each other, it was soo sweet cause he said that i was one of the sweetest most caring person he's met and he hopes we stay in touch later in life...

we just chilled in the room til school let out then i went to rehearsal...i think i am doing better...we finished blocking all the scenes, so now i have to memorize my lines!!! after that i went to vanduyns cause today was make-up day...all i needed to turn in was a freakin essay, i could make a 55 on the essay and i would have a 80 something in the class...it eventually became 6.30 and vanduyn had to leave so she just told me what grade i wanted and i said i would settle for a 85, so she put that in her grade book... i didn't finish my essay but instead i explained what my reasons were and i quoted the movie...she thought i had some really good ideas and said if it was a paper it would've been really good...she gave me a ride home and came in to see the addition to our house...she's so cool, she was laughing and joking with my parents...it's been a while since she's been back to my house...then she left...

babe came today after school, and i forgot to bake him his cookies, so i owe him for thursday...i was going to give him money so he could buy food on the way home so he wouldn't use his card, but i only had a 20, so i couldn't...i have to break it cause i like to sneak a dollar or so into his wallet...after all he has given me more than 200-300 dollars in the past 3 years...he's such a sweet heart, and he won't ever ask for it back!!! i remember one time i told him i needed like 20 dollars for the week and he said "i'll take them to you later cause i have to go to the bank"... he's such a sweet heart...i can go on and on about him, so i'll stop here...

life is weird, it's had it's ups and downs and yet i haven't drowned... someday all of this will catch up to me, and i think it's starting to already...there are times i feel as if i am special to someone, then my luck changes and all goes down hill...

hello from down under...

wenros — 2005-02-26T08:02:16-05:00

blah i have so much to say about today, but i have to go to the potty, so i'll be back in a bit...

everyone i need your help...

wenros — 2005-02-28T07:02:23-05:00

ok so i got home to find out that my dad's van got stolen...biggie right??? it has more than $3,000 worth of stuff in it... all of this is his life, without his supplies we have no income....so yeah please, if you're in the houston or nearby area, please look out for a BURGANDY with GREY STRIPE 15-passenger FORD van, with bullet wounds in the back left window!!! the plates are WZW17G

thanks to all that can help...

about the van...

wenros — 2005-02-28T10:02:21-05:00

so yeah...this is said to have happened:

my father went to the hardware store to get some pipes that the dumb dog broke for the restroom...when he got outside the van was GONE!!! and he was only in there for about 5 minutes or so...he called home around 5.04 to say what happened...the cops were called and everyone went in different directions to look for it...around 7 or so we got a call from the hpd (houston police department) saying our vehicle was recovered and it was going to be towed home...we tried to find out if any suspects were involved but they couldn't give us that info...i called everyone who was involved in the search and told them it was on it's way home...when the wrecker got here my dad was the first one to the van...he noticed the forced entry and looked inside, and to our luck IT WAS EMPTY!!! the wiped it CLEAN!!! the fuckers took everything they could, they even took our MEXICAN PERMIT and the registration stuff...my dad had all his tools in there, one item in there is about 2-3 thousands by itself!!! so imagine all the other stuff...and you know what they left us??? A FUCKIN' APPLE!!! yeah, they left an apple on the dash board...the wrecker guy told us the following:

*** 5 fingerprints have been recovered from the vehicle
*** the good thing is that with the registration and stuff stolen, they'll catch the people
*** they got the call at 6 fuckin p.m. , an hour after the incident was reported, and it was stolen!!
*** and then he talked to my dad in private
*** they said we could check the pawn shops in about 20 days cause that's how long it takes for the stuff to come to the front
*** the officer of the incident will stay on the case blah blah blah blah blah....

so yeah everyone is pissed cause of the 15 years or so we've been living here, no one has ever tried to take our van, and it was always parked in front of the house!!! fuckin shit!!! well if we find out who the fuckers are, they're gonna get it BAD!!! my brother has already called the guys, so they're going to look around and ask for equipment that my dad has used to see if they get any leads...then our neighborhood theif is going to take my dad to some of the spots to see if any of the stuff is there...

another fucked up part is that the van was found by LINK RD. on a street called PRINCETON...it was just there and yet no one saw anything...and that street is about not even 15 minutes from where the van was stolen...

why do cruel things happen to good people...

wow, it's been a while...

wenros — 2005-03-04T12:03:30-05:00

so yeah...

what's the point sometimes??? i don't get people...you think they like you, and next thing you know they're fucking you from behind (not literal) !!! shit pisses me off... i don't get why people can use emotions as if there are many to go around??? it makes me so mad that people can be so cruel !!! why do people do these things to one another??? is there no such thing as care or any of that shit??? what is the point to have emotions when there is no more meaning to it...

and yet no one has the slightest idea of what i am talking about...i haven't told FEA what happened, and she's the only person i trust in this world...well and maybe BABE, but that's a totally different subject... i im-ed fea just a little ago and told her how much she means to me and all that mushy stuff...

i'll update about my life later down the road...

shtuff...

wenros — 2005-03-08T12:03:35-05:00

man so much shit has happened, some good, others i don't want to speak of...the fucked up part is that i have a really bad memory, so if i don't post that day, i'll forget...

i was late to class today so hamilton caught me and sent me to the auditorium, since it was my first time *lol, not really, but on record its 1st time* i got away with a warning...little do they know...*insert evil laugh here* so yeah...went to 1st to find out we had a test...we stole the exam and made a cheat sheet for our group...to cut the long story short, today was fun, had pizza sales and i got free pizza!!! then i got a free water bottle from the machine **ha only the girls know the tricks** pre-cal was fun, we had to do a group assignment and then draw our graphs on the board with a story or what-not, and our group did *NYMPHO pup, the story of our HORNY pup* lol...the class loved it and the teacher said she was going to try to leave it on the board for tomorrow...

afterschool was fun...for some reason i got really personal talking to manny...for all i know he thinks i'm one crazy wild girl, but i really don't care cause he is so fun and easy to talk to...i guess it's cause he reminds me of a dear friend of mine..why can't guys be more like him??? he's a really great person...and he admits to shit some guys wouldn't...thank god for friends like manny...it was just manny the girls and i afterschool cause rehearsal was cancelled...he was laying on the futton and i put some deskes together and laid on top of them...the futto will never be thought of the same *lmao* yeah, manny knows too much, i'ma have to hurt him one day...oh yeah, manny is johnny.mindsay 's cousin...wonder how juan *johnny* feels that his cousin is closer and is getting to know more about me??? and he spends more time with me???

about love life: called babe today to see if he was going to come over, but he wasn't able to, so we talked for about an hour or so...it felt so good to be able to talk to him about the past and our relationship without him being all iffy about it...i miss him sooo...it was so sweet cause he turned off everything so he could only hear my voice...i always tell him "i love you" out of habit and cause i do, and ever since we've split he says "i know you do" but today...he said "I LOVE YOU TOO" i melted right there on the phone, and we had to hang up cause he had to play for half hour and i had to eat...we talked on yahoo im for about hlaf hour before i called him...he was sooo sweet to me today, i think it's cause we haven't seen each other since about a week or so and i haven't called him to talk since about last thursday or so...so i guess it was the whole "longing to see eachother" that kept us nice to each other...

well it's 12 and i have school, so night everyone!!! sweet and pleasant dreams...

blah blah blah blah blah...

wenros — 2005-03-08T09:03:03-05:00

i really don't know what i am doing here...i had some reason, but after a while i forgot it...i dunno what i am doing here...there are just too many things running through my minds...

i talked to my brother last night and of course, it was about college life and stuff...i'm trying to go up to his apartment sometime next week or so...he goes to TEXAS STATE-SAN MARCOS, so it's all good... i dunno what i want to do anymore...i don't know where i want to go...i know i want to stay in texas and in home distance, but not sure where really...i need to narrow my choices down cause so far i have about 15 colleges to apply to...so yeah, i need some help...i also need to apply to scholarships cause college isn't cheap...i need to do something with my life...so far my choices are if i apply to sam state, pete is going to be my R.A so we can live in the same house, if i go to uh-MAIN, then i'll be with joe, if i go to TEXAS STATE, i'll live in the same house as my wife...so yeah, i need to get my applications in so i can get denied...lol...

oh hey !!! good news happened today... after lunch i threw-up!!! lmao... i need to go to the doctor and get some stuff straightened out...

updated version of previous blog...

wenros — 2005-03-08T11:03:24-05:00

so yeah, somehow i managed to publish my entry without mentioning juan *johnny*... so i was talking about SAM STATE and somehow i left him out... lets. see what can i say??? juan is accepted *i think* to sam, oh yeah he his, he's planning to live in some freshman houses, and i think that's all i know besides the fact that he is soooooooo obsessed with sam!!! i think that's all i can say...oh and some day we might live in the same co-ed housing if i go to sam... well juan, hope that was an o-k effort to please you!!! lol...

what a day...

wenros — 2005-03-11T12:03:17-05:00

so today started off really really good, and it was just 6.40 am...lol...so yeah i called babe when i got out of the shower *miss him* but he didn't answer so i guess he was busy at work or just didn't get the signal...

well my sister almost left me but she came back for me cause i told her i wasn't ready...

got to school and it was fun...6th was bad though, ms moore was going to cry and i felt so bad for her cause i've been in her situation before...

then lunch came around...ugh!!! boys!!! brian pissed me off today, he said some shit about that i don't eat lunch with him anymore and was saying stupid shit, so i just said "ok fine then i won't eat lunch with you anymore", and he thought i was playing til i got up and walked away, i know he felt stupid cause he was infront of his *hoes*...

7th was fun we finished watching OUTBREAK, which i've seen before...

i stayed in vanduyn's for 8th cause *heart* sanchez was going to come so we could take pictures...he's a photographer *and i have a hidden crush on him* but only fea knows, so it's all good...he came like at 2 or so then we all went to get changed...somehow we managed to get gabby into a dress...at first i wasn't taking pictures cause beck-ie wasn't then sanchez said that he wanted to take pictures of me, so i took off my shirt and got in the photos...it was funny cause i was having fun and at first i wasn't in the photos...after we took the pictures, i started posing for him and he just snapped away...he said that he got some really great ones and wants to put them in black and white...the pics are for his portfolio and website i think...he's such a cool guy!!! i miss him...oh i forgot when he got there i said hi then he said "you know, i kinda miss you" it was soo sweet cause i was the only one he said that too, i guess it was cause we were soo cool and close last year...

then i ran to rehearsal !!! that was so much fun!!! let me name some of the forever memories i will have buried in my mind : violating page with my duster, humping page, spanking page, page stripping, undressing page, watching page suck her boobs, dressing page with manny's clothes *lmao*, giving ruben a wedgie and him having me pinned to the floor sitting on me trying to give me one, while page was humping him, pulling up manny's panties, manny flashing me *lmao*...and many others...dress rehearsal is so much fun!!! i finally got home around 7.20 or so...

got home and i've been here washing a load and just chilling...i have a project to do for tomorrow, but i'm really iffy about it, i think i'll do it tomorrow in the morning if i get up early enough...i think that's all i have to say that can be said in public, let me go have my party in private now !!!

just got home...

wenros — 2005-03-12T03:03:07-05:00

so yeah, i forgot to blog to juan about his birthday yesterday....so here it is: HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUAN MANUEL RAMOS III...

so yeah, i just got home from a long tiresome busy day...well today was the TRASH BASH at moody park...and i was at the booth keeping the kids entertained, we were talking about the environment, polution and doing arts with recycled items, such as water bottles, newspaper, cardboard stuff and what-not...it was really fun i got there at 8 oclock, and it's now 2 something...then they ate lunch and i stood there with my water, if i would've ate, i would've thrown up...then they had a dance contest and door prizes...there were some little girls there, like middle school or something, and they thought they were all that in a bag of potato chips, and i went and fucked up their circle...it was so freakin' hilarious, rocio went to join in and they were just looking at us...then we walked away and started dancing all weird and shit, so the girls came behind us and tried to "battle" it was so funny, we just "mean mugged" them and walked away...it was freakin' hilarous...then we had to clean up and there was more dance contests...and guess what??? i won!!! lmao, it was too funny cause all the younger girls were getting freaky on the floor and i was to the side doing whatever...life is fun when you know how to enjoy it!!! then everyone started leaving and so it was rocio, gretta, marco and i on the dance floor, so the dj played YMCA, it was freakin hilarous, we put some country into it...man we had so much fun....there was a girl that was kinda flirting with marco, so i "freaked" on him, while they were talking, it was too hilarous!!! man i had fun!!! so hopefully marco can go with us to camp cause only a certain amount are able to go...oh then i met some black guys that are going with us as well...the one i talked to the whole time seems very familiar to me and we just looked at each other and said *at the same time* "do i know you from somewhere?" it was too funny, now if i only knew from where...so yeah that was my day...now i'm here talking to babe on im and writing this entry...well i'ma go so i can take a shower and sleep for a bit...i wanted to go to the galleria today cause i some really pretty shoes online, but i guess i'll do it another time or what-not...

blah, where do i start???

wenros — 2005-03-15T08:03:52-05:00

so yeah, so much stuff has happened since the last time i wrote in this thing...wonder what day that was???? owell...

well saturday night was weird, i called pete and HE DIDN'T ANSWER his phone!!! of all people, i was hurt, there are times where i call him like at 4 or 5 in the morning and there he is still asleep answering the phone cause i am calling...then i went to sleep cause i had a long day ahead of me (sunday)

sunday morning i woke at 7 to call vieja and to call wife...jumped in the shower and got ready...then we got together at my house and we waited for carlos who was across the street (lol)...we made a detour to fiesta cause i wanted some milk and powdered doughnuts...then we were off to sam park...

it was so freakin hilarous to see my vieja drive her car...we got to the park and vieja made an illegal left turn at a red light with a cop infront of us and my side of the car almost got hit by a car!!! it was so freakin funny...we go to the park and then i heard someone say my name...it was JUAN!!! i was like, "so he made it after all" it was weirdly cool...so yeah some shit happened and we just sat there til the work out at 9.30 or so then the walk started at 10...it was so much fun!!! jorge, amy, marian, vieja, carlos, juan and i walked together!!! it was so freakin funny-ly-cool!!! the shit we do...you know you are toooo comfortable with your friends when you can show each other body parts and grope each other in public...lmao...the shit we do to keep ourselves entertained!!! lmao...so yeah we walked the going uphill then going back to the park jorge, amy, juan and i decided to make it into a little sprint/jog/run...i gave up after a while but it's all good...we got to the park and ate PEANUTS!!! lmao...we had some water fights and groped eachother some more!!! vieja took some pics, so i'm hoping to see them... after that we went to the george r brown for the book sale...juan had to drive ara's car cause she was almost wrecking her car!!! it was too freakin funny!!! life is fun if you have someone to enjoy it with!!! so yeah, we were there at the thing for about an hour or so, and i waited for everyone else to get a book while i was there mad cause i couldn't find a freakin book!!! so yeah...after a while juan drove us back home and we all went different ways...

got home took shower then went to sleep...woke up later to hear my brother in the living room...yay he's home...then we just chilled the rest of the night...i couldn't call babe cause my brother was like "if you need to use the phone, use it in the living room" ugh!!! so it was really cute when he imed me later that night telling me goodnight!!! i love my babe sooooo much!!!

blah i have written so much!!!

blah well i really don't remember much about what happened yesterday, except for the following incident:

i was at my locker after 7th, messing with quayLONG and threatening to jerk him off right there in the hallway *he's gay, so it's a threat* when i felt someone hug me from behind...at first i didn't think of much cause a lot of people hug me, so i was shocked when i turned to find a guy standing there...he was cute!!! when quayLONG saw him, he came around to my side and was just looking at him...it was JULIAN!!! i've met him before but we really don't talk, so i reintroduced myself and he was asking if i was anyone or what-not...i ended up telling him that i was a lesbian cause i don't like to just say no to a guy...he was like "it's all good, we can still talk" i was in awe by this guy!!! jennifer saw that i needed an escape so she was like "hey we're going to be late" and he was still there wanting to keep talking to me!!! after awhile i said bye and gave him a hug and he gave me a soft kiss on the cheek!!! it was so freakin funny!!! i was in shock cause i got "hollered at" at my OWN locker!!! that was so freakin funny!!! i laughed my way to class!!! that day will be written down in history...so yeah... i skipped detention cause i have mandatory rehearsal and that's way important!!!

so yeah got home and couldn't call babe cause my brother was with him...he again imed me asking where was i and that he wanted to see me!!! i misss him sooo much that it makes me mad!!! it was cute cause he left me a present in my desk, well it was some free shit he got from work, but like always he gives it to me, it's cool it's a thin case thing that has a calculator and a pen in it...pretty cool, pretty cool... he drew me some funny shit then we had to part cause he had to take a shower and i didn't want my brother walking in...after that i just stayed up to finish dry-ing my clothes and then i went to sleep...

more shit...

wenros — 2005-03-15T09:03:09-05:00

so yeah...i didn't get alc, so that was good...

i haven't talked to babe cause this week he's on spring break, and my brother is going to be with him for the majority of the time...so unless he leaves me an im or 2 then we have no communication...

today was pretty good...while we were recording our video for 2nd we got hungry so we ordered some food from the bakery...we ended up leaving school to eat it there...it was funny cause while we were eating mr gallindo *janitor* walked in and said hi...we ate and about half hour later or so we went back to school just in time to catch the bell to go to 3rd...as we were going to the commons, mr. gallindo passed by and just smiled...lmao...he's cool...we inputed our video and went to 3rd...

physics was fun, i sang for my wife and i got the girls hooked on some of the songs...billy *mr. davis* was like "now now vanessa, stop singing off key" lmao...he's so freakin cool, he's opening up more, so that's cool...lunch was interesting...

Liandra came back today, the reason she was gone since last week was cause she had a miscarriage...my hunny bun, i didn't know, so we hugged for a while...after i got my lunch all the fun started...i love lunch, i look forward to it !!! we started shouting "lesbians rule!!!" "gay's rule!!!" and then liandra was like "what about me??" so we shouted out "bisexuals rule!!!" it was so freakin funny to see quayLONG talk shit to a table of girls who boo-ed us!!! then we started to give each other "lap dances" and what-not!!! i missed liandra so much!!! she would come up behind me and "grope" my boobs and moan, so it looked like the beginning of a porn video...the shit we do!!! after a while the table of black people started to play along and TIM got into the fun....it was so freakin hilarous!!! quayLONG ended up giving us a scenario of me at the club and the different ways of shaking your ass...lmao...!!! brian ended up leaving our table cause we get tooo loud for him...our table is the one that usually gets the cafeteria loud, and it's only about 5-10 of us!!! the bell rang so we had to leave...

the funniest topic came up today...roy, carlos, ara and i were at the table during lunch and we were talking about visual impairments and what classifies someone to be handicapped...it was weird cause i was like "hey i use contacts so do i get special privileges" it was too freakin funny!!! we had so much fun!!!

mark wasn't in class today, i think she has alc for another day or 2...she got caught for those days we skipped together...her mom was cool with it, but the managers didn't like it tooo much, so they are making her make-up the hours!!! then the green monster *teacher* told me to "chill" she's going to regret ever telling me that, today was just the beginning...so yeah after about 20 minutes into the class or so jen and i just knocked out...when i looked up we only had about 10 minutes or so left of the class...jen remembers the green monster telling her "ok seniors, wake up now, we're going to learn" but i don't remember anything...i didn't reach R.E.M, so i wasn't dreaming yet...all i remember is black...we just sat there in class and bummed out...REVENGE is coming to her!!!

after school was the same...rehearsals but they were cut short today...and again paige flashed me!!! Mr. Todd was there to take some pictures and we messed with the sound...i'm really not excited about the play, but somewheres deep down inside i know i am...we're planning to perfom it for the school in about 2 weeks or so...

i keep getting myself into shit with certain people and that's not "cool"...i explained what was going on, i doubt that person understands, but i dunno... i need to stop hurting myself and others!!!

so yeah, i'm just here hoping for someone special to get intouch with me!!!

P.S...my brother got stitches on his left hand...he got cut with the saw at work somehow...so yeah...i'm sad for him...

i think that's all for today...

ugh!!!

wenros — 2005-03-18T12:03:53-05:00

so yeah...this sucks ass!!!

today was a good day...cesar and i talked and got very personal in 1st...we've gotten really close in the past few months...hope our friendship gets stronger and grows...we've had some of the same incidents happen to the both of us...lol...he's such a fun bum to hang with...

i think that's one of my bad habits, getting too close with certain people and trusting them...then some of them come around and fuck me from behind....dang those that do!!!

lunch was so much fun!!! i got tatted by liandra...she was drawing a clover on valerie's hand and i wanted a clover too...so i showed her my tit and she drew one!!! lmao...the shit we do to have fun...i was flashing them during lunch, it was so freakin hilarous...a nipple or 2 popped out...lmao...liandra and i are the only ones at our table who are crazy enough to pull shit off and not be called hoes or sluts or what-nots...i'ma miss school, lunch especially...ha!!! i dunno if i'm even graduating...i pray that once uil is over with, i can finish all the hours i need to graduate...i so hope that i do good... omGosh, i totally forgot, liandra helped zeus admit that he would have a 3 with her and i...lmao... i was like "liandro no, he knows my brother" it was soo freakin funny to see his expression when she asked him, and to see his expression when he answered..

after lunch i went to 4th and i flashed shanahan *teacher* lmao...i hope she gets pregnant cause she really wants to have a kid... last year she was so excited that she was, but she wound up having a miscarriage...eventhough we don't get a long at times, i wish her the best that she is able to have another child...everyone deserves to have at least 1 child...

afterschool was cool...we celebrated manny's 18th BIRTHDAY!!! that was fun...no one really knew it was his birthday, so we really didn't have time to plan anything out...he's a cool guy...i believe he started his period today, so i christian this day as manny becoming a man day!!! lmao...

just wanted everyone who reads or comes across my entry to know that i will come back sunday night...i will be leaving to camp tomorrow afterschool, so i won't get to a computer til i get back home...wish em luck and that i won't get stung by any wild creatures...

*ps. just had a weird conversation with babe...like always, i started to cry and he was apologizing cause he didn't know what he was doing wrong...then i said i couldn't take it anymore and that we should go seperate ways, he just stayed quiet and was saying his goodbyes to me...it was sooo cute cause he was like "are you saying bye cause you're leaving to camp or cause...???" i melted...we started talking more and agreed that things are going good the way that they are now, and not being in a relationship is just as good as being in one...we're not going to get together anytime soon, but eventhough it's been a year since we broke up, we're really not ready to move on either... we're too sad puppies stranded on an island... it's all good though cause i know no matter what, he'll be there for me... we want to be together, but right now, it's not a good time for either of us...i'm trying to get my shit together, and he is doing the same... we hardly talk anymore, and when we do, he is so sweet... blah enough about him, it's all good...

***some day i will be the person i once was***

life in the wilderness...

wenros — 2005-03-24T02:03:24-05:00

camp was so much fun!!! it reminded me of mexico, but it's all good...

the first night jp and sandra managed to get us lost!!! everyone was messing with me cause i'm scared of the dark and it was pitch!!! then we didn't have a flashlight cause the dumb people said to not bring one...hands were roming..lmao...gotta love the guys and gals!!! we got to the place thingy kinda late so we had to pitch our tents in the dark!!! lmao...my wife and i shared a tent so that was cool...we made some really cool food...the first was pizzas, and that was made using store bought flour tortillas, spreading some canned tomatoe juice and then adding ingrediants of choice on top...we cooked them some swedish or irish way (kinda forgot) but you put your food in a pot thingy and watch for which one is yours...then for dessert we poked some apples in the center and stuffed them with marshmallows and red hots, then wrapped them in foil and placed them in the fire like onions on the pit...the whole time we were just learning about the enviro and another stuff...when guys and girls are in the dark and no where near civilization, some frisky things can happen!!! lmao... we went to sleep around 1 or so...it was hot in the tents, so i managed to sleep in my usual attire *shirt and undies*...my hun and i managed to blind ourselves with the flash from the cameras cause that was the only light...lol

so yeah, i woke around 6 or so and put my clothes on before the guys would crawl into our tent...we packed our stuff and went to eat breakfast...when we got out of our tents we realized why jp and them were tellling us to not be so loud *there were about 5 tents or so lying on the other side of us*...we got our journals and wrote crap in them...then we were taught to draw and had some more talks...after a while we got our shit and packed the van...

got to the other park thing and unloaded just in time for lunch...we stole a table from the boy scouts and just when we were done god decided to pour on us...right when we thought it was done, hail started to fall...so we're there standing under the thing with only one wall on the side of us in shirts and jeans...george went to his truck and got us ponchos...after about an hour or so the rain calmed down and we got sized for our backpacks...we got our shit and put all of our clothes on..."it's better to be hot and be able to unlayer yourself, than to be cold and have stuff out of reach" or something like that...i learned a really cool rule about the wild and 3, but i forgot it, if the time comes, i will remember...so yeah... we loaded all our stuff and headed out before the night and rain caught us...we walked for about 2-4 miles or so...but it was oh so worth it!!!

we got to our site and it was dark!!! the good thing was that it was so dark that our light was the stars!!! it was so beautiful, i looked up and there was the milky way, laying above me....we moved our tents and got our pots ready for lunch...lmao...*if you boil the bugs, they're alright to eat* lmao...the guys shared their food with us... we ate sooo much!!! after we sterilized our stuff we huddled together and talked...we just sat there with jp talking about the galaxy, universe, scientists and god knows what else...we just talked about anything that came to mind...then karla brought out her binoculars and we watched the craters in the moon...after awhile we headed out to our tents...

the guys sneaked to our tents and we just talked for a bit...poppa bear and kfc were the signs *lmao* James is such a great guy...he can tell you lies to your face and they seem so real...lmao...

for the love of god i could not sleep...we managed to set our tent on a slope thingy, since my hun and i switched our spots, i was the one rolling down every now and then...we were lucky to not sleep on cactus!!! poor guys and some of the girls...after we ate breakfast we painted scenery or what-not...general and i had a really good long talk about shmut...why didn't i meet him sooner in life??? we layed out and enjoyed the view for a while then got our stuff and walked back...

on the way i saw a red-tailed-feather-hawk or what-not, and some frogs, fish, tadpoles, and robert caught a chameleon with his hands!!! lmao...*scenic shot* lmao...we got to the van and seperated our shit...we ate lunch and then thanked the guys...

my hun and i sneaked away and managed to rinse ourselves with soap...lmao...there was no where we could shower so we had to wait til we got home to take one...luckily i took a shower friday morning before school...

guys are worse than girls at times, i promise...the guys managed to have code words and the whole time we *girls* knew what they were talking about, so it was kinda pointless to have codes, but we let them have their fun... we took sandra home...*stalkers* lmao... meeting people for the first time in weird situations is quite fun!!! i would so love to go with the group anywheres!!! no matter how many people are around me, we always manage to have a good time...

james took some bad ass pics!!!

down memory lane...

wenros — 2005-03-24T02:03:25-05:00

oh yeah...i need to im juan or something cause i think he has my stub for when we went to the alley together...so juan, if you read this: GIVE ME MY STUB!!!, i demand it back...and if you don't, then i'll gladly accept yours...

earlier i was getting my stuff together so i could make my scrap book thingy when i stumbled upon a letter and some pix...lmao..the shit that was once said...*dang it, just broke another nail* man, how some people have changed...

"i can tell by your eyes and how you talk about him" "he still loves you"

that was written by a friend who i hardly talk to anymore...middle school was kinda weird for me in a way...i had just gotten out of a phase of mental issues and into some different issues...lol...it was hard for me to trust people going into middle school...but after a while i new "it wasn't my fault, no one deserves this to be done to them" ...

one of the memorable letters of middle school was one from a special friend who i talk to at times today...
"i don't know if you care, but elizabeth wants me to cheat on you with her" lol...that was my then-boyfriend writing to me...when i re-read that i thought it was so stupidly cute!!! i can't believe he wrote "don't know if you care" that was the cute part... then he went on "I told her no because i love you to much to cheat on you. Do you feel the same?" it was so cute when he ended it saying "This is the longest letter I have ever written to anyone!...I miss you a lot! I love you!....Take Care 'Cause I Love You..." and in the middle of the bottom of the page it had his name heart my name and again vice-versa a little lower...i found a pic or 2 of him and i think i'll post it another time... a little less than a month later he wrote me another letter, he broke up with me saying "Please forgive me. I want to be your friend." i have so many thoughts running through my head, and yet, none of them want to come out...

love is a weird thing, an old friend who passed away like a year or 2 ago once told me "without love you are nothing"...so i wonder what have i become??? what has led to me to the person i am becoming or leaving behind??? am i a person, or am i just another bottomless soul roming this place we call home??? some day i will know my answer...

no subject

wenros — 2005-03-27T01:03:58-05:00

i hate this shit!!!! i can't take it anymore...i try to forget but i can't...why does he keep doing this to me??? in the end even if it wasn't my fault, he knows just what to say to make me feel as if it is....funny how i keep telling myself i won't go through this, i keep putting myself into these situations!!! i hate this...i don't know what to do anymore...it's as if no matter what i say or do, nothing will change...i can't take it anymore...

what a day...

wenros — 2005-04-02T11:04:49-05:00

man i am so worn out, i don't have the strength to keep going on... well here the goodies of the day:

paige got a silver medal for ALL STAR CAST, tempest and I got the GOLD for ALL STAR CAST...and our play got ADVANCED PLAY, meaning next saturday we perform at HSPVA !!! yay!!! we were one of the 2 advancing plays!!! the judge said he really liked the clarity of my voice and how he knew what i was doing behind stage *the whole : what are you doing before you get onstage feeling*...dunno but we're all excited...ruben took the trophy home...

(a funny thing happened today, my mom was on the phone and i could hear her say *in spanish of course* yeah my daughter had a play today and we weren't able to go either, when i asked who she was talking to, it turns out to be ruben's mom!!! so my mom is like "yeah your son took my daughter" and la senora yolanda *his mom* says, "what son" and so my mother calls him by his nickname and says "guero" lmao...they're friends and all, but ruben and i weren't aware of that til about a year ago or so...ruben's mom was like "my son came home all excited saying look mom look what we won!!!" lmao...that was too cute...so yeah, that was one of the funny moments...)

so yeah, got home early cause some of the plays ran short....

forgot to mention, FURR also did the same play as ours, and we squashed their shit NASTY!!! they had nothing on us...yeah they had some funny parts, but they just didn't look ready or what-not...

my mother and dad got there like 5 minutes late so they didn't see it, and so did babe, he got there and they had just closed the doors...so yeah since the time was pushed up hardly none of the people who went to see us made it...we went on like a whole hour and something early...but it's all good...

the sucky part is that since we compete again next week, i won't be able to go to my little nieces 2nd or 3rd *dunno* b-day party... so i dunno if my parents or family is going to that one, well they might get a chance cause the party isn't til later, but i i forgot the time, so yeah....

we're so happy at my house cause RICHARD is home!!! yay!!!!!!!!! he was in iraq and he just got home like a day or 2 ago... he's one of my brothers best friends.... so yay!!! now he gets to go to mexico with us...*religious reasons*

oh hey don't know if everyone knows, but the POPE has passed on today like at 1 or so our time....may he rest in peace...

p.s. ... i met a very special person today, she's cute with dimples and red/burgandy glasses...she's shy at times, and eats hot cheetos....can anyone guess who she is???

so much shit...

wenros — 2005-04-06T10:04:22-05:00

so yeah, so much shit has happened...i don't even know what day it is at times... i'm so freakin tired, there are times i don't get home til 7.45 or close to 8 !!! then i have to start to rehearse for my vocal solo cause i go to state in may!!! life is so tiring and i'm not even doing a lot of stuff...

i've managed to catch up some in pre-cal...i was sooo pissed cause at first i had like a 80 or so, then i entered all the crap shanahan didn't put into the comp, and somehow miracously my grade dropped to a 61!!! aint' that some shit??? i was soo freakin pissed when i saw that!!!....i sooo need to exempt that final!!! i can't afford to fail that class again!!!

my brother asks if i am thinking about the arts for college or what-not...but i doubt it, i just enjoy it ...

life is weird...

saw babe this weekend!!! yay!!!

sunday morning went to churchschool, then came home and started cleaning...the only thing i managed to do was sweep and mop my closet, and under my bed!!! i still have my 2 drawers, bookshelf, desk, radio thingy, and 5 mirrors!!! then i have to clean my closet and clean out my drawers cause they're stuffed!!! the good thing is that when i got home my bed was made, my mother washed my sheets and changed my covers!!! so yay, one less thing... i also have to vaccum my carpet...clean my bay window, change my curtains, and clean the blinds...man i have a lot of shit to do!!! then on top of that i have to do homework cause i can't afford to fail my senior year!!! imagine if i had a job??? that would sooo cause gray hair!!!

in the process of cleaning babe said he would come over so we could get some snow-cones and so he could come get some shit he still has here...2 hours passed and he called saying he was oustide and asking if i was ready!!! i hadn't even showered...so of course he came inside asking why aren't i ready and for me to just put some shoes on and "let's go already"....after about half an hour of me wanting my way he let me take a shower and waited patiently as i got dressed with his brother in the room!!! lmao...

we left about 10 minutes later!!! i love having my way!!! i got a raspa de fresa con cajeta!!!! that was sooo good!!!!! i tend to get whatever i want and some when i'm with him...gotta love that punk!!! then we came home and ate in the kitchen, why i don't know, but we did...it was weird!!! after awhile we came to my room and started watching some movie, i don't even remember...then his brother went to his ex-house to get some shit...***insert blooopers here*** after a while we just lay in bed and waited for his brother...babe left around 6.30 or so cause ESTEBAN had the wrestleing match at his house "all the punch and Kool-ade you can drink" lmao...esteb is a christian so he doesn't drink!!! poor babe!!! my parents came home around 10.30 or so...

one of the many reasons i dislike living at my corner house is cause we hear and see everything!!! it was around 11 or so and all i heard were tires screeching...i was just waiting to hear the kaboom, but there wasn't one, which is weird, so i looked and there was nothing...just some people also looking for the cars...right when i came to my comp i heard the trucks again infront of my house...this truck was chasing some car cause it hit and ran!!! lmao...it was soo funny but scary cause we thought it was my brother...we called and called him, and there was no answer, who knows where he was, he didn't come home til about midnight...we watched the cars and made sure they didn't hit my sisters car or van (they both live at the end of my block)...

it's so amusing living in my neighborhood....just about a week or so ago a couple got shot in the head mulitple of times at poppa burger around 3 in the morning...my sister was fortunate enough to see the bodies...then about a day or 2 ago, like in the afternoon, some guys got shot about 2-3 blocks from my house and i think one died...my mom was saying yesterday (i think it was) that police came to our house asking her if she saw an injured man run into the alley behind our house...

i just got a full body massage by my mother, so i'ma call babe, then head to bed!!! my eyes are closing and it's just 10!!!

what will become of my youth???

life as we know it is slipping from our hands...

*oh yeah, ms moore bitched at manny and i saying "this is bullshit, that's what it is"...lmao...she's so wrong at times...one of these days i'ma go off on her and she's going to hate me!!!

what a day...

wenros — 2005-04-07T11:04:51-05:00

so yeah... got up early and took a nice long warm shower...made sure to scrub between the toes...lol...

got to school and went straight to 5th...dumb teacher, didn't start the PRUEBA quick enough, so i have to take it tomorrow at 7 in the freakin morning...the reason for not enough time??? cause i had to leave at 8.40 for my doctors appointment...

so my father came and got me and i went home to get some shit my mother forgot *shot records*.... ok, my appointment was at 9, and MELISSA *doctor* knew that i had to be at school around 10.30 the latest...but guess what??? for some freakin reason the dang nurse was taking forever, so i didn't go to the back til about 9.30!!! so yeah, it was hard to fill out the questionaire when my father was next to me...it was funny cause i was trying to check the *sexual active* question without letting him know that i was...

so yeah a 30 minute check up went into an hour and half check up...i got my clothes off and sat there with my panties and gown thingy and waited...as she was asking me the usual questions i was like "oh wait, i have my list of things to tell you"...she was like "oh...thanks..." she smiled and laughed... we go to talking and then she got out my tablet thingy to write all the shit i told her...it was funny cause we had "the talk" about college and sex...then i had to lie to her about my guys age, and how long we've been active, i know that's bad, but if she knew, i'd be in a heap of trouble...we talked about a lot of shit... then she asked my dad to call my mother for some question about her pregnancy with me...man!!! i have to watch my health NASTY!!! since both of my parents have diabetes and i'ma hispanic female that's bad!!! the good thing is that i'm 110 lbs!!! i gained back the weight i lost when i was sick!!! after she got the info she needed from my mother i ran home cause i had to go back to school....i have to call Melissa back so i can set a date to get my X-RAYS, and she'll call me back with my results from my blood tests...i also have to keep a diary for a month...and i have to go back in about 3 weeks or so...she also gave me a number to a clinic where i need to make an appointmet...the sucky part is that the clinics closest to me i can't go to cause my sisters work there...due to Patient Confidentiality the doctors can only write certain stuff on my charts...

once i got to school i ran straight upstairs to ms moore's...everyone had their make up on and i was the only one missing...once i got there they ate while i did my make-up...we sat for about half hour or so then got changed into our first costumes...we had the play during 7th, so that meant i didn't go to AP BIO, but the cool thing was that they came to see the play!!! awww, i love vanduyn!!! she's so freakin cool when it deals with me!! lol...after the play we got our shit and i headed to 8th!!! freakin manny!!! he's a MEANIE!!!! lmao... it was fun during 8th cause shanahan let me do all the problems on the board!!!

after school was different...we ate and then gossiped til about 4.30 about the hater teachers!!! lmao... we're so weird it's weird...lmao...we packed the play into the box *moore's car* and then went back upstairs...everyone except manny, larry and i went home...we stayed and played for a while...fuckin manny!!! man that guy is heavy!!! then the dumbass did the worst mistake ever!!! he called me another girls name, and i was the only girl in the room!!! lmao...we struggled on the futton for a bit til he practically tickled me to death...then we managed to fall!!! manny was trying to go home, but i wouldn't give him permission...i think it's so funny that he's so whipped that he'd even listen to me!!! lmao...so yeah i held him off of the phone til about 6 or so...lmao...then i made him stay...he had to learn 3 dance moves in order for him to leave!!! larry was our teacher, man i promise you, that guy shakes is as if he was a stripper....and he's got a booty!!! it was freakin funny to see manny roll, dip and vibrate!!! the shit i make him do!!! i've noticed that he's gotten really comfortable around me since that day at rehearsal *flashback* lmao...he owes me a slushy!!! who knows where he will find one, but he's gonna get me one!!! lmao... that indian giver!!!

called home and my brother said for me to wait for him....it was freakin funny cause i was by myself and out of the corner of my eye i see a red pretty car pull up to me...i have no idea who it is cause the windows are limo tinted *i think* and then i notice a little dimpled cute guy at the wheel...it's ADRIAN!!! my brothers friend...then my brother opens the door for me cause he has shaved door handles *meaning no handls*...we went to wash the car...he thought it was funny cause i have a duty *coin girl*...lmao...yeah then we headed home cause the guys didn't want for my parents to send out the FBI...lmao...they've only known each other for about 2 years or less and they are soo close!!! it's freakin funny cause they're the "it's cool to be gay guys" *and no none are gay...it's just that they can play like that with each other*....

oh yeah my brother got some girl to go with me to look for my prom dress...he called her and asked and she got REALLY excited!!! she was all like "i'm honored!!!" i could hear her screaming excited on the phone...it was freakin funny!!! so yeah i have to make sure the time and what-not...

to anyone who has gotten this far: WHAT IN THE WORLD WERE YOU THINKING??? do you not have anything better to do??? lmao...

shit what a day...

wenros — 2005-04-09T10:04:35-05:00

so yeah...so much shit has happened in the past few days...but it's too late and i need to get some rest cause i got another big day ahead of me tomorrow...

looking back...

wenros — 2005-04-12T10:04:04-05:00

My family is close, everyone looks out for one another, but yet I really can't seem to find my place I am not the first one to follow through with high school, nor am I the first to go to college I do not have a role model, for my vision was lost. I lead two different lives, but yet I strive to be one person At home I am the one who avoids trouble, and at school I let myself free Eventhough I really don't have anyone to push me to keep going forward, I have come to a point in my life where I should be the person to push myself, and pick myself up My Junior year I tried so hard, and sturggled with myself I questioned myself everyday "who am i?" Some people thought I was a quiter, others said I wouldn't make it, and I broke down I lead myself to believe that this was ok, it was ok for me to fail a couple of tests, and still I believed I should follow the path people chose for me I truly count on friends, for family wants to make you happy and friends make you see the truth I came to a point where I thought I wasn't going to make it, I started to see my dreams fade Then one day a friend asked, "What are you doing, what's wrong?" This person actually cared, this person really wanted to help ME, not my grades or study habits It seems funny how a simple question can change a person's life, like a proposal, "Will you marry me?" One sees how different their life would be and how so many things could change One simple question, and now I could see I turned around the best I could, and in a couple of weeks, instead of earning F's and C's, I was aiming at A's and B's, I was learning, I was doing this whole time what I thought I wouldn't be doing...something for myself rather than for others...

shtuff...

wenros — 2005-04-13T08:04:50-05:00

so yeah...

my wife is mad at me cause i didn't write in her memory book...can't believe her...she was like are you going to sign it?? and i simply said NO...she caught me at a really bad time, i was soo stressed and was just doing too much shit, and she knew that, but she still insisted...so yeah she ignored me in 1st until she over heard me...jackie asked if i wanted the marker to sign chick's book, and i was like "no i already signed it, she tackled me last week in the hallway"...since my darling wife sits next to me, she slid me a note a little afterwards that said "thanks for signing other peoples books and not mines" ...i couldn't help it, i burst with a laugh and simply replied "you're welcome" she heard me, but she didnt' bother to turn... i bet she's gonna feel really stupid when she gets my letter and all that mushy crap i wrote to her... she's so ***************.....

on my way to 2nd, DIANE and jennifer came around with miniature cupcakes, they were about as round as a quarter, just a slight bigger and about a thumbs height...they were soo cute!!! i stole a yellow one and ran to class, keeping a good grip as to not drop it...everyone was giving me hugs so it was freakin amusing to try to run from them...i ran through MR. TODD's class and rushed to my class to see that my hun wasn't there...i turn around to run back in the hallway when through the glass doors i see her!!! she was talking to dexter, walking to class...she opened the door and there i was with a huge smile "i stole this for you" ....she was soooo freakin happy to receive it!!! i love P-JAY!!! she's sooo cute!!! she's like "it's so cute, i want to keep it til it grows mold!!!" lmao...she's so cute....

in 3rd miriam kept ignoring me, and we sit at the same freakin table...it was soo funny cause i was there doing my work and she was just talking to Gizela...if i needed any work i would just ask the girls and miriam would give me this look...ahhh the moments...then i left class early cause we had to do prom sales... i came to class 40 minutes late and i left about 10 minutes early...lmao... ** P-Jay still had the cupcake sitting on her binder**

during lunch expo *FEA* esperanza came to our table cause hers was giving her headaches *just remembered i need to ask her to take me to the doctor* so yeah...after a while p-jay came over and sat next to me...she's so cute, i asked "where's the cupcake" and she hugged me tight and pointed to her table "it's on my binder" and i look across the commons and there it was sitting in the middle of the table shining back at me...she's so cute...

people are soo weird... *exluding me on this one*....

i helped james with taking his photos for his english class...he's so cool, stalker, but cool...hey, at least he admits it....

i gave ms. vanduyn my recommendation letter form for a scholarship that's due FRIDAY!!! lmao...it's from our alumni... she was getting ready to leave to her g-mas rosary...she's so freakin weridly cute!!! yesterday she told us that her g-ma passed and it was funny how she said it "my grandmother of 98 years finally passed away" lmao...that woman...so yeah, she won't be in 7th tomorrow cause tomorrow is the funeral...she was like "that's sad vanessa, i can think of more things to say about you" she's cool...

i'm having girl issues...i still haven't found a PROM DRESS!!! and i have about 17 days until PROM!!!! ain't that a shame??? yes it is...lmao...it's amusing though...i went dress shopping this weekend and i didn't find anything!!! ain't that something...at some stores a size 2 was big on me, then i was too short for some dresses....it was freakin funny...my brother didn't give me a limit on my dress, so if i want the $$ 2,200 dress from luca luca then it's mine!!! i enjoy dress shopping just cause i like to try them on...other than that, my life is going good *as far as i can think*

how could i forget!!!

wenros — 2005-04-13T08:04:21-05:00

i totally forgot to write about the greatest news that's happened to our class (2005) :

PRISCILLA MARIE RAMIREZ had her baby yesterday at 7 in the morning... she's our class vice-president, and she's going to ut @ austin, she has the highest grade in my AP BIO class *which we all find amusing*, she's the recipient of another 10 thousand $$ scholarship...that girl has about 50 THOU in scholarships, plus she's going to get that parenting-aide from UT cause she has 2 children *this being her 2nd*...she was also named "most likely to succeed" by our class...she had a healthy 8 lb something boy...

shit happens...

wenros — 2005-04-15T12:04:16-05:00

so yeah...david has been peer-pressuring me lately...so yesterday i gave in, i did the unthinkable............................................................................................................ i got a XANGA!!! lmao...that guy is freakin weird...he has a show at ST. THOMAS UNIVERSITY (FAMFEST) tomorrow, and i can't go...he is said to go on at 3 pm, but i'm not sure if i'll make it on time...i think i want to apply to ST.THOMAS, just cause...

the treats of being a SENIOR!!! lmao...so yeah, since i am a SENIOR and am passing all my classes *or at least my teachers didn't report me*, i get the luck of going in tomorrow at 11 in the freakin morning!!! yay me!!! so yeah, the bell rings to leave that freakin building at 1.13 so yay!!! only a couple of hours for me!!! i'm so happy...

today ara took me to look for a prom dress...i think i might have found it...it's pretty (blue/green), but not sure if the parentals would like for all my goodies to hang out...i can't find one that really wows me, so i'ma just get whatever at the last minute...lmao...a french vanilla capuccino with extra vanilla and some whatever she had, loud music, windows down and the backseat is extremely a thrill...that girl, she's so weird...but i love my vieja...she's the best!!! we laughed about old times and hoped for new ones...when we were on the way back home, we were stopped at a red light...lmao...i looked to my right and there was some black guy sitting at the bus stop...he thought it was amusing that i was having a conversation with him...he was just laughing...the shit we do to amuse ourselves...i'ma miss her!!! I LOVE MY VIEJA!!!

this saturday is our LAST SENIOR CAR WASH!!! i'ma miss those guys trying to look up my shorts!!! lmao...then i head to roxanne's to put together the prom packages...

so yeah, i was at credit recovery today, and i got on the school server and peeped into Mr. Todd's files...lmao..they have the picture where i was giving LARRY a dollar while he was giving me a lap dance...lmao!!! and to make it worse, i had a cup of something in my hand, it looked like we were fucked up!!! lmao....the shit we do to amuse ourselves...the shit we get away with, i think haenicke took the picture... as i looked through the pics that are going to be in the SENIOR DVD, i noticed an old pic from marshall *middle school* and right in the middle was a CHUBBY LITTLE WHITE GUY!!! with his huge smile!!! ...

today shanahan asked for us to sketch what we were going to graph using the functions...lmao...i think she liked mines very much...it's 2 breasts with hard nipples, a belly with a belly ring, a trimmed pubic patch, and a slim waist!!! lmao...she calls it "the naked woman" ... she's so cool...i can't wait to actually do my project this year and turn it in...

i walked home today, so it was amusing to have someone honk at me when i crossed the street...it was babe!!! lmao...he's so freakin cute... that reminds me, we've ended it...it's over *again* ...we were talking on the phone and i let out a tear then said GOOD-BYE...that fucker!!! *insert growl here* he makes me angry...he knows just what to say to hurt me, and he knows exactly what to say to make me feel better...but it's all good...he's my best friend, we'll get over it someday...

xanga entry # 2...and counting...

wenros — 2005-04-16T01:04:49-05:00

Saturday, April 16, 2005

this is fuckin shit!!! i hate you, and you know it...that's why you do these things, cause you know i'm stupid enough to let you get away with them...just leave me alone, i'm tired of this, i don't need this anymore!!! get out of my head!!! get away!!! don't come back to me!!! leave me alone!!! i won't be back!!!

FUCKIN SHIT!!! why the fuck do you keep hurting me?!?!?! i guess it's cause you know i love you, and i'm just that stupid...

i've thought about it, the quicker i apply to college, the more i apply to scholarships, the farther i am from YOU!!! stop doing this to me!!!

i'm missing you already, but it's a phase i have to go through to get over you!!! i've been missing you since you pushed me out...

got home and you weren't here...came to my room, you weren't there either...i picked up the phone and the tears came down...but i didn't bother to dial...what's the point??? it's just going to be the same...

and don't fuckin be sorry either...cause you meant it, you promised me...you promised you wouldn't hurt me the way they have...you're the one who brings me pain...you promised you'd be there for me...you promised you wouldn't let them hurt me...i trusted you!!! i fuckin trusted you!!! and now...what???

what am i to do, nothing...just sit here and watch you go by and by, knowing that each step you take, i wish it was towards me...but that's not how it is...instead of hugs you push me, instead of kisses you yell, instead of love you hurt me!!!

and what for??? what's the point sometimes???

no subject

wenros — 2005-04-16T01:04:53-05:00

life is so weird...i dunno at times...i called pete today and we talked for a while...well we started to talk and then he brought up a certain subject and it suddenly hit me!!! i just let it all out, here i was sitting at my chair crying my eyes out, and pete's on the other side like "oh shit, what did i do"...he's such a good friend, i'm glad i can call him at whatever time and he'll be there for me...

THANK YOU PETE!!!

so much shit...

wenros — 2005-04-18T12:04:58-05:00

friday i had breakfast with a slutty guy...lmao... so yeah, breakfast was kinda late, but it's all good...got to school and headed to the commons where all the seniors

lmao...ok so i was in the process of updating when i get a message...it's word, he's asking how i am and why haven't i called him lately...that fucker...i didn't know what to do, so i called fea...she's always there for me...i love her soo much...so yeah....after some convincing from her i imed him back...just when i imed him he signs out...so there i am like a dumbass calling his cell phone...story short: we just hung up *10-11.45!!! that fuker!! he knows what he does, and yet he's as if it doesn't happen, and me the dumbass let's it keep happening again and again...i was like what the fuck at first, then we got to talking and we ended up just dropping the subject and picked up where we left off....i love that sonofa....

"deep down inside you know we still have something"...

wenros — 2005-04-18T11:04:11-05:00

yup, that's what i told him as he had me there on the phone crying...lmao...i'm pathetic...we were talking for a bit then i don't know what went wrong, i guess the whole convo was wrong to begin with...so yeah towards the end shit started and i made him shut up...he was like give me a good reason or something like that and i was like, babe, you know deep down inside that we still have something, that's why.....right....right...and he just shut up, cause that dumbass knows that we do...he's like "you're right" so after a while i hung up and he went to sleep...

then one of the worst things happened to my comp...for some reason godzilla doesn't work, i dunno what i did to it...i called babe and he was sleeping, so he was kinda bothered that his sis woke him up for my comp problem...and i can't call alex cause it's too late...so for now i'll be using internet explorer....i like godzilla better, it was just simpler for some weird reason...

holy schmoly, what am i doing up at this hour??? i have to be asleep...i have my x-rays at 8 in the morning...blah, i must sleep!!!

what a day...

wenros — 2005-04-19T08:04:23-05:00

so yeah, lazy me didn't get up til 6.45 this morning, but it's all good...

i ran to my doctors office and picked up my x-ray paper thingy...got to the clinic at 7.30 and just sat there since the x-ray lab didn't open til 8...found my sis and she was able to make sure i had everything i needed...she's a nurse thingy person at the clinic, so yeah...the x-rays were easy and fun...i had to stand against the thingy and breathe...

after that i came home and baby sat one of my beautiful nieces *Coressa*...i ended up falling asleep watchin cartoons, and the rugrat...

took another shower and got my shit for school....

school was weird today...the seniors met in the auditorium for attendance, and we did some last minute shit for prom....it was freakin cool...lmao...so yeah, alonzo had to rescue me....so yeah...shit started again, but then again, it'll never me over...

i went to help do prom sales during lunch and then headed to class...everything was about 30 minutes today...freaky weird...3rd pd lasted about 10 minutes or so...

alonzo doesn't have a girlfriend anymore!!! sooo cool, since she was a bitch with him...that fucker....

vieja was scared to go to her locker, and since i was man enough to do it, i went instead...as i was closing her freakin door, i hear a voice "vanessa come see me"...lmao...it's kerry, reason: not in dress code...usually he won't say anything, but we had some people at school, so he had to show discipline...luckily i stashed a button down shirt in my locker...i slipped my shirt on and found him...."yes mr hamilton, you wanted to see me"... his face lit up with a smile "i see you're partially in dress code, button your shirt"....that fucker...he thought he had me....nnnnnnneeeeevvvveeeerrrr......

*are the agents doomed???*

the agents were caught and prisoned by the green monster today...we were doing our usual mission *going to the restroom* and ran to class trying to avoid Kerry *mr. hamilton*, good thing we had assistance from comrade king...lmao...so as we proceeded to enter the cave, the freakin green monster spots us with her radar vision..."i've had enough with you 3 girls, that's it, i'm writing ya up, all 3 of ya come here"....lmao...the agents were finally aprehended...so i got my goody bag *sachel* and headed to her dungeon of doom....it was freakin amusing to correct her when she was writing us up...lmao..we took our stuff and marched out with our heads held high...the agents always have a plan...so we did a mission to avoid going to kerry...instead we went to duke okoli's palace...it was fun being rebels for the day...we just sat there in the lounge, awaiting our death sentence...."come in" he says...so there we are trying to nicely explain the green monsters evil plan to have us decapitated, and he's like, "ya should go to hamilton, he'd be angry with me"....we finally go to kerry's office to find out he's not there, he's no wheres to be found...lmao...until we hear a voice from above...dundundun....he's doing some last minute afternoon anouncements...we sign in clocking at 3.00....the bell rings, so we go to find him in the hallway...he can do 2 things to "discipline us"...1. give us detention, 2. keep us from going on senior trip...luckily we're such good girls that he decides to make us come in at regular time tomorrow and just sit in the auditorium...marylinn however gets detention cause she's lower classmen...ha ha ha...i think the green monster will be upset at the "discipline" that was given to us, but then again, we did leave out the part "we've been late to class for the past 2 weeks"....lmao....

what a day....

we still don't have a date...i'll get one soon...

la la la la la

wenros — 2005-04-21T01:04:00-05:00

so yeah...

today i went in at regular time cause of my "discipline"....serious, if that was punishment, then send me to ALC...lmao...so we got in the auditorium and just talked while the teachers did the head count, they didn't even bother with attendance...after a while Shanterria brought out her laptop and we were "jammin" to her tunes... apparently corson wanted to jam too, so he sent some student to his classroom to get his boombox... it was freakin hilarous... by that time carabajal asked us to make her a poster for the Interact Club...so there we are chillin on the stage, jammin to music, eating chips and drinking coke... and to think we're supposed to be disciplined...man i love my school...hamilton walked in a few times, but he didn't say anything... the funny one was when the prinicple walked in, some guys were chuggin the cokes, we were layed out on the stage, and the radio was loud...someone noticed she was just standing there, so the whole room got awkardly silent....she had some guest with her...lmao...as soon as she turned around we got back to our "house party"...SENIORS!!! i'ma miss them...jenny sold me out, she decided to go skipping today...that hoolagin....

after a while eveyone else got there and soon it was time to leave to lunch...

we got some shit straight and made some announcements...

lunch was freakin weird, i think some of the ladies went on strike or something, cause there was only like 2 ladies working the back lines...

omGosh, the guys have balls...lmao...so yeah i ended up in line with ALONZO and SABAAS...i think sabaas was bar-ed or something cause he's never acted that way with me..."do you have a boner?"....lmao...why does that question make a guy blush??? so yeah...as one can tell, lunch with the guys was amusing...fuckin alonzo, now that he doesn't have a girlfriend, he is kinda holding back on the touching, but yet he's being more touchy...

i didn't go to 7th cause i was doing prom stuff...6th was quite entertaining...moore decided to have a talk with us about uil and the theater class for next year...

so marylinn and i met in the hall like usual, when i notice anabel walk in the hall...turns out the green monster didn't show up today...dang her!!!

i picked up my report card today!!! i'm not failing any classes!!! i won't be able to exempt pre-cal, but it's all good, for now...

i only have about 3 weeks for my credit recovery class, and i'm no where's near being finished!!!

peole with big hearts...

wenros — 2005-04-21T11:04:36-05:00

i managed to get to school late, about 15 minutes into 3rd pd, which started around 12.30...lmao...

mr. olson was the first to greet me...administrators are so cool!!! went to 3rd to see fea by herself, apparently the girls had gone already, but to her it was too early....i sat with her for a while then paloma and i headed to the commons for prom sales...i now know ADRIAN's last name!!! lmao....people these days...

carmina ate lunch with me!!! lesbo!!! lmao... when the bell rang to go to 3rd, within about 2 minutes, the commons was full again!! aparently the teachers didn't even know the schedule...losers!!! so there we are *seniors* laughing at the stupid underclassmen who are standing around wondering why tbe gates are down!!! lmao... after a while zelaya came and made everyone go to class, except us of course...SENIORS RULE!!!

by 2nd lunch we were having a blast!!! lmao...we ended up with a spokeswoman!!! lmao...fea was walking around holding the prom ticket sign!!! oh how i wish someone had a camera!!! she was our sexy lady!!! i love her sooooooooooo much!!!!!

alonzo walked me to class!!! lmao...

we didn't do shit in 4th cause we had a sub...what kinda shit is that??? shanahan was in the classroom trying to teach us, while at the same time, the sub was taking role, and getting us settled down...

afterschool was interesting...ms moore took us to do some shopping!!! she's so freakin nice...tina needed a prom dress for next week, so jessica helped her find one...i need a nice outfit to wear for my uil vocal state competition....we looked and looked, and finally we found one, it's a black pant suit...ms moore has such a big heart, total it ended up being about $$300 from her own wallet!!! it was quite amusing, to us and her as well, when she tried to get on the escalator!!! she broke her toe, so she has the removeable cast on her foot...it's funny cause she has in the front a little grey circle, which is the PUMP!!! lmao...that woman has a huge heart, and even though she's all bitchy, when you get to know her, you'll see why....

talked to babe today...lol... we were talking, and next thing i know, the phone goes dead!!! so i call back and get his voicemail...that fucker!!! we finally get in touch and he's like "i'm so so so so so sorry about that, i really am, my battery is about to die...let me call you back...i'll call you back...i'm so sorry" not even a minute later my phone is ringing!!! lmao...i just think that it's too cute when he tries to be all hard with me and he ends up being the bitch!!! lmao... i love that fucker so much it's not even funny!!!

wow i think we talked for about 3 hours or so...lmao...and to think...yeah...

well i have to do my essay for spanish and e-mail it to my teacher cause i won't be at school tomorrow....

for the love of my class, i have to be up at 5 am tomorrow and be at school no later than 5.45!!! SENIOR TRIP!!! i'm so looking forward to the bus ride and the rest of the day as well...

i'm taking my "famous blanket", that blanket has gone with me to so many places, and has helped me with quite a few dirty tricks....lmao...besides food, i wonder what else i should take...owell, i'll remember sometime later....

WOW!!! what a weekend!!!

wenros — 2005-04-24T11:04:20-05:00

so yeah....

friday was our senior trip, san antonio fiesta texas!!! lmao....it was so freakin awesome!!! we left the school around 6.52 or so!!! lmao... got up at 5 cause my brother woke me, then he dropped me off at roxy's house...dang, then girls were up all night!!! drinkin and smokin!!! the bus ride was quite entertaining...i started off with alonzo, and worked my way to the back of the bus...the guys are so amusing....jimmy was my last spot, we just cuddled and got warm...

the park was freakin amazing...ended up with urbano til he got lost with brian...sad to say, i got on only one ride...i was about to get on another, but i ended up breaking down!!! the guys had to get the key and get me off!!! lmao...i can go on and on about friday!!! we had so much fun!!! our group split and got back together so many times...we go to the picnic late cause of me...alonzo wanted us to go on some ride, but i made everyone get on the cue ball one instead...lmao...it was 5 of us in the ball: alonzo, me, clara, stephanie, and claudia...it started off slow, then the dumbasses started to spin the shit fast!!! since i was the smallest one, i was looking like a rag doll...alonzo fell on the floor, and claudia managed to jump to our side!!! then it started getting bumpy!!! i could feel my food coming up!!! towards the end of the ride, i was really gagging!!! i managed to spit up getting out...so there i am running to the restroom and mean while shanahan and brown are getting mad and asking if we're gonna eat, the only thing i managed to say was"not now, i need to throw up".... i open the first stall i find and only manage to pick up the seat....then there it is, my lunch, floating infront of my eyes!!! clara was like "are you ok" and next thing i know, she was throwing up!!! lmao...it was freakin funny...there i am apoligizing and throwing up at the same time!!!

we kept getting on the water rides, just cause it was more amusing to me...as we got on the gush thingy, time started ticking!!! by the time we looked at our watch, it was already 6.05...we were to be ON the bus at 6.00....lmao...there we are running across the freakin park when we realize we lost half of our group...hamilton ended up getting upset cause we got to the bus at 6.25!!! lmao...everyone was on the buses except us!!!....

since the last ride was the water one, i was completely soaked!!! head to foot!!! there i was in the middle of the bus isle asking for clothes to change into...my wife was kind enough to lend me some shorts, and apolinar let me borrow his shirt!!! i had no where's to change!!! lmao...so there i am sitting next to jimmy changing with all the guys in the back!!! lmao...it was funny cause the guys on the side were trying to be sneaky about looking at me, and jimmy was like "hey man, turn the other way" ....he's so cute!!! then me like the dumbass left my underwear on, so jimmy's like "ummm....you might want to take your underwear off.." lmao....so there i am again, undressing...i just stayed back there with jimmy and got cumfy!!! he's such a sweet heart...he was my pillow!!! he got me back from our ride back from COLORADO!!! after awhile we changed seats with robert...the funny part was while we were sleeping, some one was taking pics of us!!! carabajal was looking at us weird...i had jimmy to myself for 2 hours and something!!! then we started to nap again, so we started to play the name game!!! man i love to us myself to distract his thinking skills!!! i won!!! got to school at 10...so that's cool...roxanne was to take me home, but to my surprise adrian, my bro and nephew were waiting outside for me...

funny...the first thing i did when i came home was to call babe!!! we talked for about 2 hours or so...it's quite entertaining!!! it was cute to hear him get jealous when i told him about the changing!!! lmao...no wonder i love him so much!!!

SATURDAY morning, for some reason my mother comes in like at 8 or so...i just ignore her and keep on bumming out...i end up waking up and go to herff jones to get my graduation announcements, or shall i say ORDER!!! lmao...i'm so late on those...after that my mother takes me to shilpey's to get some doughnuts!!! yay mother!!! i get home around 12 or so and crash out!!! i didn't bother to wake til midnight!!! lmao...i call babe when i wake, and there we are on the phone for another 2 hour or so...we made plans to see each other and then i went back to sleep!!!

SUNDAY, got up around 8 and got ready for churchschool...that was a wreck!!! adriana wasn't there, so she left someone in charge...after churchschool, i call babe to find out he won't be here til about 3 or so...i head to church instead...

wow i got so much shit to write about...so i'll write about my BIRTHDAY later...

FREAKS!!!

wenros — 2005-04-26T09:04:06-05:00

lmao...

moore wasn't here today, so we had HYDE for our sub!!! lmao....

i sat with ruben on the futton...some how we started to talk about sex!!! lmao... oh yeah i remember, we were laughing at manny!!! now, if only i knew why we were laughing at manny...lmao...

after a while zack sat with us and within a couple of minutes tempest, paige and jamal were surrounding us...lmao...the shit we do to entertain ourselves....lmao...paige "fell" on us, so i was feeling on her tits while the guys watched with amazement...

it's weird to hear the guys talk about sex...we're very comfortable around each other, but still, i grew up with these guys...i still can't get it through my head that they're not virgins anymore....i dunno, it's weird, but that's just how it is...

i'ma miss all of them when i graduate...

lunch was spent in the auditiorium again, doing prom sales and shit...prom is this saturday...that should be interesting...no date, no dress, no nothing, just my ticket...lmao...

8th was super boring...we have a project due this friday and i left my binder in my teachers car....

afterschool i ditched my credit recovery class to go to the hilton *prom location* to do some last minute decorating, and to make sure all the shit is ready... gotta love our class...lmao....

talked to babe a little ago and he's doing worse...he's sick!!! poor babe... turns out he left work early, 11 a.m. to be exact...kinda silly since he goes in at 6...lmao...so yeah...erica is so cute, she is making him some soup... babe made me a cd that he owed me and she gave him a purple case with a butterfly sticker cause she knows i like butterflies...and cause she remembered my b-day...i hope he gets better...sucks cause i can't help him feel better...

*HUNK*

wenros — 2005-04-26T11:04:15-05:00

ok...so there is this guy at school...and ever since the first time i've seen him i've had the hugest crush on him....he's so sweet...and WEIRD!!! which i find awkardly sexy!!! so i've known him for about a year now...and it makes me so mad that i didn't get to know him sooner...he has a gf...but i'm still hoping something would happen between us...lmao...this is so freakin funny....as he walks the halls i scream out "hey hunk" and he knows it's me...*hint hint: his nickname is hunk*...lmao...so here i am on yahoo im telling him how i feel...lmao...

**hunk**: van i am reall happy that i got to meet u this year it makes me really sad to think that i wont see u after high school.i am going to miss being called a hunk in the hall way
NessaMarie: lmao...
NessaMarie: travis i will so call your phone just about everymorning so you can hear me call you a hunk
NessaMarie: i'll miss you tooo
NessaMarie: sucks that i didnt' get to know you before...
**hunk**: lol thank u so much van u are so sweet to me
NessaMarie: i would've been like...
**hunk**: i know damn nation
NessaMarie: yup, that's travis, and he's MY hunk friend...
**hunk**: lol hell yeah
NessaMarie: lol...
NessaMarie: you're such a great guy, and i know you'll make any girl happy
NessaMarie: it just breaks my heart that it isn't me
NessaMarie: but i'm happy for you, so it's all good...
**hunk**: just a crazy thought do u think there could have ever been anything between us if we knew each other in freshman year or so
NessaMarie: i'm so positive in that
**hunk**: kool
NessaMarie: travis i have the hugest crush on you, but i just play with you, so you won't think i am serious
NessaMarie: i'm so glad i am saying this over the internet
**hunk**: lol why
NessaMarie: i'd be so embarrassed
NessaMarie: cause i'm shy
**hunk**: lol best flirt what are u talking about girl u r nuts
NessaMarie: yeah, but that's just play, nothing is ever serious...
NessaMarie: and i think you're such a great guy
**hunk**: ok
**hunk**: thanks u are a super smart badass girl forever
NessaMarie: dang it travis, why won't you get me against the lockers and make out with me?
**hunk**: vanessa that only happens in my fantasys
**hunk**: i would love to but the second my lips touched yours i would just pass out right in the hallway
NessaMarie: i'd be there to catch you
NessaMarie: and give you CPR
**hunk**: thats so sweet i would just pass out again and have a heart attack and erection at the same time
**hunk**: lol
NessaMarie: lol...
NessaMarie: i can imagine that
NessaMarie: imagine ms mulet watching all of this
NessaMarie: lmao...
**hunk**: lol holy crap on a crust thats funny
NessaMarie: lmao...
NessaMarie: you're too cute
**hunk**: thank u
NessaMarie: welcome, always

man, that guy is....yup...travis is one of the wackiest guys i've known...i'ma miss him sooooo much!!!!! i hope we stay in touch for a really really long time!!!

kinda of shocker...

wenros — 2005-04-27T11:04:43-05:00

so i got home around the usual time...6 or so...

when i get here everyone is usually in my mothers room, nothing out of the ordinare....my sisters just lay out on her bed and talk or play around...lisa breast feeds or pumps...lmao...that's my black sister, and she's pregnant AGAIN!!! due in july or june...dunno....baby jewel is getting so beautiful!!! she's gonna have a pretty brown complexion...kinda like stacey's....*dang my mixed nieces*....

so yeah...i walked into my mothers room, and i could see they were into some good gossip....turns out that my sisters boss or owner of company commited SUICIDE today...my sister said she noticed something different about him and was telling her concerns to her coworkers, but no one really paid mind, they just thought he was stressed or something...last friday before she left for the day, she was soooo worried that he would do something to himself...she just prayed to GOD that he would be ok, and not do anything...well today when she went to work, she noticed he didnt' come in...and she knew somethin was wrong....his room was organized and she was told that yesterday he took his things as if it was just another day...* my sis has a psyscho degree or something and she's worked at MHMRA, so she kinda knows these things* well she gets people to call his cell phone and house and there is no reply to either... later on the neighbor calls and says something about "have ya heard what happened to so and so" and right then they knew something was wrong...turns out his sister went to look for him because she's always with him for lunch and stuff and he didn't call her today... she went to his house and there he was...deceased....

that guy was the typical unhappy person i guess...cause he had plenty of money and had "everything he's wanted" but i guess he was missing something...he prolly had problems he wouldn't let surface and it finally got to him...whatever is the case...he's no longer with us...

i just pray for his family and friends who mourn his death...

!!!may god come into each and everyone of our lives!!!

doctor's visit...

wenros — 2005-04-28T09:04:59-05:00

so today was my appointment...at freakin 7 so as to not interfere with my school day....

so i got there and they got my vitals thingy...i've lost 1 lb..but that's 'kay...and i am still the same height...dang it/ hot dog...

i waited in the room and then she walked in...

after a bit of talking about my owies, she went to check on my results from the x-rays....

she ends up saying, they're not bad, but she still wants me to go to the specialist to just be safe....

turns out i have some density thing in my tummy... i stopped listening after she said "possible surgery"...

i'm not sure if the density is high or low...but i'm hoping for the low one...

i won't be able to go to the specialist til after graduation, so to not interfere with my classes or anything like that...

also if i need surgery, it'll be best to do in the summer cause of "college" and all...

the first step would be to stick a needle in my tummy and extract a tissue sample...

i am sooo hoping that it be low density cause i don't want to go through any pain...

but it hurts at times, so i guess it's better that i get it over with....

sucks cause i can't lie on my tummy for too long cause then my tummy will be bruised or soar....dang it....

crazy shit...

wenros — 2005-04-28T09:04:27-05:00

man, i was so looking through the glass on this one...

juli and i were walking to 7th, and we always take the back stairway...
as we're walking, this girl is crying and walking up the steps, and out of the bottom of the stairs comes her guy...i take it they were arguing....

juli and i keep walking to not be in their business...until i see her take something out of her bag and starts to cut her wrist....

i nudge juli but she doesn't look...

that girls guy comes up and is like "what the hell are you doing" and they start to argue some more...

we get to the top of the 2nd stairway and look back to make sure she's 'kay...she's not!!! we didn't know who to call cause all the teachers already closed the doors...

we run to french's class and tell her what is going on...she gets some office people to get the couple....

*juli was so freaked out, she didn't know what to do...i on the other hand was like "hey, it's normal"....
all i could think of was that time babe caught me cutting myself...i won't ever forget what he told me, or what he did to me...i love my babe so much....and my fea too...without them, i would go coo cooo...lmao...*

when we got to 7th, quaylong had already told the class what happened....

fulfilling PROM TRADITIONS...

wenros — 2005-05-01T06:05:01-05:00

lmao....

yesterday was such a mess...

the good thing was that i went to get my nails done friday night, so that was one less thing to worry about...

so saturday morning, i just lay there in bed...i take a shower around 12 or so and await for my sister....

we get to the salon thingy around 2 and my appointment was at 2.30....man, at first i had no idea what in the world the girl was doing to my hair...i didn't even know her, and i was trusting her sense on one of the biggest nights of my life....as i was getting my hair done, i was getting make up too...the girls were taking turns on me...it was so much fun to be interacted with the making of my hair...

the girl was putting that foundation crap on my face and as she was doing it under my eye, some shit got on my contact...so i really didn't know what i looked like til about when she was putting my gloss on...i took my contact out and played with it in my mouth....felt like gum...

i left the shop around 6.10 or so, but hey, it was so worth it!!!

got home to find ADRIAN here...i was hiding from him...that dumb dork wasn't even dressed yet...

the plan was to leave MY house at 7.30...but this guy for some reason is so nervous he needs my brothers help!!! and yes, this is his 2nd time going to prom, and he's just a junior!!! lmao.. he gets here around 7.50 or so...and we do the whole family picture crap...even then, we really didn't take pics cause my family was getting drama...

Adrian was so freakin nervous...he couldn't find the freeway...lmao...turns out he was having a bad day too....and on his BIRTHDAY!!!! him and his brother got into some shit, making him late to get dressed and to pick me up...

it was all worth it though...for some reason i didn't mind getting there late...

we got there around 8.10 or so...and everyone was amazed that i looked like a FEMALE for once...lmao...it was so freakin amusing!!! i left Adrian at the table and apologized in case i didn't at the end of the night..."hey, i'm sorry, but i won't be back throughout the night, i'll prolly only sit about once or 2wice"....lmao...i'm so bad i know, but hey it's PROM NIGHT!!!

i had so much fun...i didn't even realize the time...next thing i know they were calling my name to give me some appreciation award...then it was time to announce PROM KING & QUEEN...so all the girls get up there, and we are handed our roses...*it's some cool idea i stole from I WANNA BE MADE from MTV*...the roses are wrapped, and the one with the red rose is queen, everyone else has a white one....so there i am unwrapping my rose, when i turn to notice that no one else is unwrapping....when most of the girls unwrap there's, i slip my cover off to reveal.....THE RED ROSE...lmao...i'm PROM QUEEN...lmao.....

i'm crowned and i notice my bouqet of roses...they're PINK the color of my dress!!! lmao...the night before i was having dress dilemma, so i called roxy...*she's the one who counted the ballots*...since she knew what dress i was wearing, she bought the flowers to match....lmao...we dance to our song "KISS FROM A ROSE" and everyone is surrounding the dance floor to take pics!!! lmao...then out of no where's JUAN and i start to booty on each other...it was freakin hilarous...everyone got a kick out of that....

i run to SANCHEZ and tell him that i won, and he's like "come back later so i can take your photo"...i'm getting like 3 free pictures from him or so...lmao...it's so freakin funny....he still owes me the pics we took for his website...

they also gave us a sample of our senior dvd...i'ma gonna miss everyone...

lmao...adrian really wasn't dancin...so it was so freakin amusing when i was at the table and he grabs my hand "come on, we're dancing"...lmao...man does he regret taking me to the dance floor...since the moment he stepped on the floor i didn't let him get off, except to leave the jacket...lmao...man, the shit we do to entertain ourselves...

at some point during our dance, i managed to get to adrian...i turned to look at him and i could tell that he liked it very much how i was dancing on him...but at the same time, i could tell that he was holding back...after a while he was like " oh, just wait til we get in the car"....lmao...man i heard that so many times from different guys there...i guess it didn't help when i kissed Leandra in front of him and her date...tony was askin for a 3some, or just her and i....lmao...

adrian got to see a whole different side of me...he was kinda wowed at the shit i did...but he's really cool!!! "it's just that i didn't think of you like that"....

towards the end our guys wanted to leave, so leandra and i just kept dancing...lmao...the train song came on and everyone hooked on...i was the leader, and we were going around the whole freakin room!!! lmao...i had like 30 or so people behind me!!! lmao...adrian and tony were just laughing at us...the last song was fun...forgot what it was, but the dj was changin the speed on us...lmao...

around 12.30 or so we were kicked out of the hall!!! lmao...zelaya was like, "alright vanessa, take your crowd"...lmao...everyone got seperated and we headed to the elevator...since we were parked in the garage, there was much traffic... so i pushed my seat down and adrian and i just lay there in my seat...it was amusing to just lay there with my brothers friend and get very comfortable....we got some shit straight and after about 15 minutes or so we headed out...

lmao...we didn't make it home til about 1.30 or so...man, the shit we do...or didn't i shall say...lmao...we got to his house and just lay there watching tv while we waited for my brother...

my brother brought some food...then we headed out to monkey's house...

we go to melissa's house and it was bunk...they were playing checkers with corona...losers!!! i don't drink beer, i'm more of a liqour person...as i was saying bye to the guys, i managed to kiss andres!!! josue got piss!!! josue looks after me very well...lmao...

we end up just going back to adrian place to find out that they're having a get together...since adrian and his brothers aren't on talking terms...he went to sleep...so there i am chilling with about 10 old people i don't know....it was funny cause at first i was shy, then we just all started drinking... the guys were making strawberry dq's...and pina coladas...it was funny that i was taking more shots than the girls...my shot glass is a double...they couldn't even handle regular shots!!! lmao...my brother now knows that i stash my double glass in my drawer,but it's all good, i drink responsibly...there was rum. and some puerto rican drink that my brother has...

i got home around 4.30 or so...

i found out that my brother got kicked out of the house, but he still slept here last night...my mother apologized this morning...

*i kissed ruben *my mess* last night, so i got embarrased to find out that joe *brothers bf* saw me*, but joe's seen a lot of the shit i've done, so it's all good...

prom was so much fun...too bad it felt like any other dance...

yesterday was fun...

wenros — 2005-05-02T08:05:00-05:00

eric invited me to eat, and somehow it turned into a family field trip...lmao...

we ended up going to JOE's...lmao...our waitress was ALEXIS "who looks like a buick" says eric....lmao...

man it was so freakin hilarous...she was hooking it up with some food...

i had dozen of oysters *i've been craving them for the longest*!!! and some parmesan shtuff...

eric let me have a sip of his liquor...he's so cute cause he's over protective with me too....

babe sat next to me...

the tab came out to be 111 or so... "i've never spent that much, not even with 7 people"...lmao...

the guys were "flirting" with the chick...poor babe, he just sat there and laughed...

as we get in the jeep, babe says "can i tell you something and you won't get mad"...so of course i am already mad, guys aren't supposed to say that to girls...turns out the chick was looking at him and i back and forth...lmao....but he wouldn't talk to her, she's a little chubby for him...not even she was just little thick...i seem to have set some standards for my babe...if he wants to get with any chick, she'll have to be either as good as me, or something close to it...other than that, he won't budge...lmao...

the guys are fuckin dumb!!! i promise...we ask for to-go plates and we end up with an extra one...so these dumbasses leave her stupid shit written on the inside...they describe themselves and leave all 3 numbers...dumbasses...when it was time to give up babe's number, we all just kinda looked at each other...babe knows better, so he just laughs...eric pulls out his phone and gets babe's number "just remember he didn't give it to me" says eric.... lmao...they write my brothers number instead...

3 hours of eating food!!! lmao..got home around 10.30 or so to realize that i didn't do either projects for my math class...

i did my texas common application around 12.20 or so, so i'm not sure if the schools i applied for are going to take it, seeing that the deadlines were at 12.00...i hope so, cause i want to leave this home and all the memories that go with it...well just certain ones i shall say...

i stayed up til about 1.10 or so...*1.30* im-ing with my hun juan manuel ramos III...lmao... then got some sleep...

just crap on my mind...

wenros — 2005-05-02T11:05:22-05:00

when i came home from school, i found my referrel papers sitting on my computer...this is some of the crap that was written on it:

*referral form*
Pediatric Surgery Clinic
Services Authorized: 3 visits-Consultation and Treatment
Chest Mass 786.6

*medical record*
Upon exam...was noted to have a raised area on the left side of her chest. An x-ray was obtained and results noted a slight soft tissue density anteriorly at the level of the breast.

*chest x-ray results*
Chest PA and lateral two views
Clinical indications: Sternal Mass
Impression: No evidence of cardiopulmonary disease.
No evidence of sternal mass. A slight tissue density anteriorly at the level of the breast.
Suggest clinical correlation

so yeah...i dunno half of those things it says on these papers...i have my docs appointment this friday at 10.30 am...

babe is a dumbass:
NessaMarie: babe, i hope it's all good, and that i won't need surgery
blah: me to
NessaMarie: thanks for concerns
blah: but if they do ask if they can hook you up
NessaMarie: lmao...with codine??
NessaMarie: or morphine??
blah: are they going to be boob area
NessaMarie: lmao..you dumbass....i won't get a boob job...
blah: maybe they can give them a lift

that guy is such a dumbass...he made my day though...

life... *edited for loving reasons*

wenros — 2005-05-04T10:05:31-05:00

yesterday for some reason i was freakin tired...i slept from 6p to 7.30 am.... i only woke at midnight to eat cereal and watch BAM!!!

today was a very interesting day....

since i took the spanish AP exam last year, the few girls that were left in spanish class and i just bummed out...p-jay didn't take the test after all..."she wasn't ready"...

6th was so much fun...we've been doing improv's lately...and the best game so far is FREEZE!!! lmao.... manny was telling givin me some instructions and moore says "it doesn't look like that from here" or something...lmao...so me and my dirty self was rubbing on him....lmao...i called freeze when he was up there, i went in and we started to wrestle...lmao...he's so much fun!!! i'm so glad that he's comfortable with me...*he knows what really happened on prom night* lmao....man, we've gotten so close!!!

"there are moments like these that make life worthwhile" lmao...manny said something like that to me in 8th cause i didn't give up on my white-out...and i still haven't fixed it...lmao

the wackiest shit happened after school...i was walking with irene, ara, and some guy to mc'd's when we ended up talking about us being bisexual...i didn't know about her and she didn't know about me....to cut the long story short, we ended up messing around in the stairway, and we both made out with some chick that saw us and was curious!!! lmao...the shit we did!!!

lmao...JESSE, an exboyfriends little brother {* JUAN MANUEL RAMOS III* sexiest white/mexican guy i know...yup, lucky me i was with him...johnny.mindsay.com is a hottie!!!}, saw us and just smiled!!! lmao...he couldn't believe what he saw!!! lmao...poor guy, i just tease him like everyone else...he's so cute though!!! DIMPLES!!! lmao...as irene was rehearsing her song, jesse and i were slow dancing to the guitar...i'ma miss him!!!! my heart goes to him at the moment...i've been in his shoes, so i share his pain....

irene is gonna tell her guy, an friend i grew up with, cause he's been asking her to find someone to mess around with....lmao...he saw me "kiss" paige in 6th...lmao...he was shocked!!! lmao...

after that whole hour incident...i stayed with rodolfo and some girl to decorate the auditorium for tomorrow, the 5nd de mayo program...

fuckin dick heads!!!

wenros — 2005-05-04T11:05:36-05:00

it really pisses me off when guys say shit about girls...especially when they make up shit, knowing it's fucked up...and what makes it the worst, is the fact that this person is someone your'e close to, or so you thought....

how can you keep talking to this person as if it didnt' happen!!! fuckin shit pisses me off!!!

i can't fuckin stand it when a guys says he "got it, got some" or shit like that from a girl...especially if that girl was me, and i DENIED that guy!!!

that is so fucked up...if i had him in front of me...i'd soooooooooo punch him good!!! fuckin shit!!!

this "guy" or pile of shit, as he should be called, has no clue what so ever that i know he said this about me!!!

i'm not going to waste my energy letting it out on here...instead i am going to wait til i get him in person!!! that fuckin bitch!!!

fuckin asshole has no balls!!!

oh that shit boiled my blood when i heard he said that about me!!!

the person who told me has no reason what-so-ever to lie to me...

how would he know the exact location!!!!

fuckin shit!!!!!!

i'm so pissed, well i've been pissed...but I WON'T LET THIS GO!!!.....

lmao...JUAN!!!

wenros — 2005-05-05T11:05:13-05:00

i know you're there...i can see that you are!!! and yet we can't see each other, lmao...

JUAN I LOVE YOU!!!

you should be doing school work instead of mindsaying...

yeah i'm technically skipping second period to be here on mindsay...

lmao...i admit this is addicting!!!

doc's visit...

wenros — 2005-05-07T07:05:12-05:00

so yeah, yesterday was my doc's appointment...

turns out they can't do anything....

they can do cosmetic surgery or something like that, i kinda stopped paying attention after she said "there's nothing much we can do"....

surgery would give me more pain cause my body is already used to and formed to my tummy...another option would be to remove a rib bone, but then i would be uneven...

so i am resorting to sleeping on a pillow for the rest of my life...lmao...

the doc was like, if only you were a little thicker, you wouldn't have so much pain!!! lmao....

i still gotta go back in august or so to see if there's any change...

as the hours pass...

wenros — 2005-05-07T07:05:20-05:00

my parents went to mexico yesterday, they'll be back today...they all went to turn in my sisters van permit...since she's pregnant, she really won't be traveling much...

we bummed out last night... i was gonna get jenny on her rainy check, but apparently she went to SAM's prom!!! so she couldn't come over...maybe next time...

i finally talked to babe...lmao...we haven't spoken since thursday, but haven't had a convo since sunday or so...lmao... like always, we stayed talking for about 3 hours or so...lmao...i just found out it's less light used if i use the cord phone, rather than the cordless one...

so yeah, after a long convo, i ended up sleeping around 3 or 4, not sure...

woke up at 8 cause them darn bill collectors were looking for BABE!!! lmao... it's amusing when they call "are you his wife"...lmao...i simply say, "no, he hasn't came home since last month, so we're divorcing"...lmao...it's a different answer everytime...lmao...

called babe to see if he was gonna come for me...that bum was still asleep and it was 9.30, the game starts at 10.15!!! lmao...he calls at 10.05 and asks if i'm ready, i hadn't even showered...so we argue for like 5 minutes...i jump in the shower and throw on some jeans...lmao...we were almost there when coochie called saying erica struck out...

his dad, coochie, jaime and ernie were there...ernie fractured his elbow, so he's going to the doctor sometime this week...poor kid, he has a very swollen elbow...erica is so cute with her pigtails!!! lmao... she made a homerun!!! we lost by 1 point cause we were tied at the end...man, it was so freakin funny to see the kids run away from eachother to not get tagged out...lmao...babe is 1st base coach, just cause he's always there...at times it's as if he's the kids father...i'm so proud of him for being the male role model though....caus god knows they need one...lmao...

after the game he dropped me off and got his mail...why is it that whenever i leave, everyone wants to call the house..lmao....my dad called!!! i love my dad!!! they should be home in about 2 hours or so...not sure...

cooked breakfast for my 22 year old nephew!!! lmao... my brother was still asleep, and he wasn't going to wake...i enjoy being female of the house!!! lmao...in charge is what i do best...lmao..

liquid/el rodeo...my new home...

wenros — 2005-05-08T04:05:30-05:00

so we ended up going to el rodeo and liquid last night...

started off at rodeo and met up with the rest of the girls...after a bit we went to walk around liquid and see if my brother was there yet...

ended up staying at liquid...

bumped into roy, c/o '04...adrian was there, but he was with some chick...lmao...i just leaned up against him and whispered in his ear...by the big smile, i could tell that he liked it...lmao...boys these days...

met some guy who i have no idea what race he is...lmao..

afterwards we went to get some tacos, like the mexicans we are...

got home around 3.30 or so...

rain and thunder

wenros — 2005-05-08T04:05:16-05:00

it's raining bad!!! a huge lightning just struck and it scared me!!!

so yeah, i'm scared of lightning, so i'll just cuddle in bed with my teddy and watch some i-control or something...

what a week...

wenros — 2005-05-20T06:05:59-05:00

so the other day i was so freakin pissed that i just yanked all the cords out...yup EVERYTHING :computer, radio, tv, digital box, speakers...EVERYTHING...dunno what got into me... then there i was calling babe to come and plug everything back in...i wrapped all the cords and stuffed them in a bag for him...so he finally got a chance today and put it all in...

i am conversating with robert now...he's awesome...we talked 294.53 plus the 23 from before the break...so i ended up sleeping around 3 or so...turns out he used to be johnny's *juan manuel* really good buddy in middle school...we talked about EVERYTHING there is to talk about, and we didn't get bored!!! lmao...we have much in common, which is cool...

i finally finished my history credit class, and i'll take that final monday...

i only have one final PRE-CAL, and i need to pass to graduate, currently my grade is a 40!!! so yeah, jose might come over this weekend to help me for that...

we had our TEXAS SCHOLAR ceremony today...my mom went!! it was fun...

other than that school and life are going great... got my prom pic's and everyone but me likes them... funny incident happened, my little nephew's 8th grade ceremony was yesterday, and i met Rubi, Cindy's little sis...she's like "that's vanessa, she's the one who won prom queen" and rubi just kept looking at me, she's like "wow, you looked really pretty"...lmao... it's funny that i am still getting that...

i still need to send out my grad announcements, but i have to buy a freakin SILVER pen!!! i think i'ma get eusabio to get them from work...

rehearsal is going good, campbell says from what he is hearing, i am at a 1.5 *1 being the best*, so i have to rehearse all this coming week, cause the comp is MONDAY, MAY 30, i checked with Zelaya, and she says i am scheduled for 11.43... i am so freakin nervous!!! if i don't get a 1, i won't be let down, cause i know i tried hard...

next week is crazy, MON. i take hist. and pre-cal finals, tues. i think we might get together, WED. is SENIOR breakfast, THURS. is grad rehearsal, and FRI is chill day...SAT is grad...

blah, so many thing at once, but i'm so glad it's coming to end...

we squashed their shit NASTY!!! *stomps and squashes* lmao... we had the best project, even though we had about 20 slides, it was so worth it... we started sunday night and finished thursday about 30 minutes into the class...we presented at the last 15 min. of class...we had cool shit!!! we're the best!!! jenny and i rock!!! agents busted a mission on this one...we proved our class wrong, only cause we're the worst procrastinators and the laziest means nothing!!! "she might do everything at the last minute, but anything that she does is good" yup, myla says that about me...

myla was off today, she had a school interview...so we had a sub... she's so freakin cool!! i'ma miss her, and i know defenitely she's going to miss all of us...we were her first class EVER, her first children, and now, she's leaving with us..."the only reason i am staying is for you guys, so let's make the best of it"...lmao...that woman!!! she might go teach at LECJ or HOGG....i'ma miss her!! Cecilia Myla Vanduyn, the coolest teacher/sponsor!!! we'll be in her mind forever!!!

[we] de-virginized marilynn!!!

wenros — 2005-05-26T01:05:31-05:00

lmao... girls night out, FINALLY!!!!

so yeah, vieja got to my house an hour late, but it's all good...

called pete while i was walking around naked in my room...lmao...i miss him...

vieja got here, she went to get blue and red before me, so it's all good... i was the only one in a SKIRT!!! and on duty!!! lmao... jenny had good excuse, so i'll let her slide... marilynn and jenny were matching, ara was wearing blue JEANS and a shirt!!! we got lost in downtown, but then again, it's houston, EVERYONE DOES!!! lmao..

after circling the place, we got to parking...clock was ticking, but NOO...we found parking on the 5th floor!!! we got out and fili called, as he was telling me the doors closed i felt the truck still going...dumbass ara left the TRUCK ON!!! lmao...that girl, she is so freakin lost/dingy!!! i think it's cause she was ALBINO at one point!!! lmao...

so i was pissed cause we got there late...but it's all good...

lmao...we asked some guy to take our pic, then we has trying to "holler" at me... lmao...too bad i was blind and couldn't see...lmao....

we got in after the first intermission, which wasn't bad....i think we just missed the part where peter first comes into the room window...

the play was freakin awesome!!! so glad i didn't ditch it to go to the movies.!!!!

after the play we went downstairs to take our last pic with my boyfriend *lmao*

we waited at the backdoor for some of the people to come out...little did we know that the indian girl had left already.... "is that jack", "no, it's john"...lmao...i love jenny forever...

afterwards we didn't know what to do, so we went to wendy's!!!

we all ordered our crap and we had the best time ever !!!

SUMMER 2005 !!!! i am so freakin ready for future girls night out...lmao...

we were freakin loud in the little place, but i finally got my receipt, so it's all good..

i mentioned that it was 11.30 and marylinn says she's NEVER BEEN OUT THIS LATE BEFORE!!!

yup, we were proud to say we de-virginized marylinn!!! too bad she's a junior, other wise we'd take her for ransom or something...

so yeah. i went with ara to drop the girls off, not like i had a choice...

we get to my house, to discover...dun dun dun.... i forgot my freakin house keys!!! i call babe for rudy's number, but my smart self hung up the phone... i ended up calling dad's cell phone to open the door...i would've jumped the gate, but i was wearing a skirt, my neightbors were drunk in the front, and i was on duty!!! lmao...

gianna slept with me, that rugrat!!!!

* i just realized i was to update this on sunday night* oops, my bad!!!

always lock the doors, even if he says "i'll be home later"....lmao....

wenros — 2005-05-26T07:05:19-05:00

i was awaken last night by a phone call...cesar!! lmao... i took a 5 hour nap...lmao... why does everyone call for me when i am napping??? people these days... talked to cesar for a bit, then the phone went dead, his not mines...lmao...

got online to send him a message or 2, then went back to sleep around 1 or so...

i was awaken around 7 to find out i'll be alone til 7.30...lmao... hurried and took a shower, while in the shower i called robert, who was also in the shower...lmao...

got to school, to realize i forgot my namecards, and some other stuff...i still haven't mailed my announcements...

went to auditorium to get stuff straight... after a presentation or 2, were the SENIOR awards... my nipple was being passed around...the shit we do for fun!!! lmao... leandra and i kissed, again!!! lmao... i got the music award!!! yay me!!!

i felt all crumby knowing i wasn't walking, but everyone kept telling me to look at the bright side, and that it'll be ok....wish jose was there!!! dang him and his fine self!!! lmao...

afterwards they passed out some crap, and the senior cokes... went outside to find out that cesar left!!! that fucker...rodolfo was being a good entertainer!!! the best magician!!! i'm gonna miss that guy!!!

after awhile cesar walks in and sits next to me, *awww* he went to look for me at shanny's...robert saw cesar next to me, so he said his goodbyes instead...

*i feel ucky knowing that robert likes me, and the way i am...i told him not to like me!!!*

we got my shit and headed for the car!!! lmao... he forgot his sister!!! lmao.. this is what happens when people don't believe me!! lmao... we drove around to look for her...we got back in the parking lot and parked...lmao... she was already in the back looking for him....

after we dropped her off, and some singing!!! lmao...we ended up at his "cousins" house...i think he had it planned...we started to watch tv, but plans changed...we bummed out in the room instead...*3 minutes* lmao...around 1.30 or so his "cousin" gets home so we get our shit and leave...*do me stuff* lmao...he was 3.30 hours early...cesar and i were in shock and he just kept apologizing!!! *high matabolism = gatorade* lmao... man, the things we do for fun...*i have half*

so yeah, cesar takes me back to school, hoping shanahan is still there...as we're walking upstairs and through the halls, we think of many excuses of why i'm late...*i can't go in with you*...lmao...

freakin shanahan didn't get there til about 2.30!!! i studied for a bit then around 4 or so i started to take the test!!! if only i could make a 50!!! lmao... i can't freakin believe she is willing to help me out this year, but last year, she failed my with a 68!!! freakin white lady!!!

got home around 5.45 or so...

ROGER made me do it....lol...

wenros — 2005-05-26T11:05:07-05:00

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Vane-nane/Vanessa
2. Ma/hun
3. SEXY/beautiful/princess/reina/my love/baBY/sexy girl...

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. *Nessa_marie *use this for most things*
2. loudwild05 *hotmail/msn*
3. precious_596 *7th grade - 10 i think???*

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. I don't do my hair *leaves more time for shower*
2. I am very comfortable with sexuality, *I don't care what people think*
3. I am one of the very few that can get away with doing stupidly/crazy/freaky/non-normal things

THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My life has ceased to exist...
2. I trust people quickly *bad habit*
3. I don't know what's the truth anymore *it's all a blur*

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
Mexican -American
1. below the border is more fun
2. being a mexican, i've grown used to hotsauce/chile...and liquor
3. PARTY all the time!!! and the food!!!

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. scared of the dark *bad experiences*
2. Rejection from heart...
3. losing my father and not getting here in time for him...

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS (aside from food/drink/air/etc):
1. girls/boys
2. watch *ex bought about 2 years ago or so*
3. carmax *i seem to be obssessed with that chapstick*

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW/FAVORITE ARTICLES OF CLOTHING:
currently wearing:
1. red tommy shirt *got from sis @ x-mas*
2. khaki pants *the guys favorite*
3. TOE socks!!! *own about 14 or so pairs, need to buy more!!! wear them practically everyday* **fav.**

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS/ARTISTS (at the moment):
1. Cold Play *babe got me hooked*
2. System of the Down
3. Green Day

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
1. The hand that feeds...
2. Scars...
3. *can't think of freakin title*

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. Going to movies with BLOW -UP doll as DATE!!!
2. Buy a vibrator!! lmao...
3. Chocolate-Mint ice cream *so i've heard it's good*
*bonus: go to ROGER's mic night*

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP (love is a given):
1. Trust
2. Honesty
3. Mutual understanding between my mate and i...feeling of comfort...non abusing...

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (or maybe they are all true. or maybe all lies):
1. I'm not bi-sexual...
2. I haven't made out with girls, or done anything with the female gender...
3. Haven't had sex, so dunno what it is to enjoy it...

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. Lips!!! * i have this thing to bite lips*
2. Shoulders *can't be too broad or slumpy or what-not*
3. Hair *gotta fit the person*

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. Celibacy...
2. stay mad at the one i love...
3. for the love of me, i can't do anything on time *procrastination is my crime*

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Napping for hours at a time *no such thing as minute naps*
2. Writing my name on paper or surfaces
3. typing *gotten quick with the fingers *finger dexterity*

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. do something really adventurous, not sure, but i know i want it...
2. call fea and tell her what i did...
3. eat strawberry cheesecake!!!

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. Forensics/ CSI
2. Stripper at Gold Cup
3. broadway or something of that sort...

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Amsterdam *legal*
2. France *naked beaches*
3. Go back to COLORADO

THREE KID'S NAMES:
1. Sujahil
2. Todd
3. Jean (something)

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Get everything off my chest...
2. Let Fea know how i really feel...
3. Confess my sins to an actual priest, not just before i go to sleep...

THREE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW OR DIE PAINFULLY (or, ya'know...not):
1. johnny *he loves to do these kinds of things*
2. fyreph
3. blackmamba

*bonus: callmeroger *payback's a bitch*

buzzin it and liking it... *edited*

wenros — 2005-05-28T03:05:20-05:00

so yeah, i got home litttle ago from travis's house...

it was freakin awesome....

got there to get a tour of the bad asss house... it was freakin awesome...

i had about 4 drinks or so...but it was freakin awesome....

i made out with tabby and eric, and it was in front of robert, so yeah i kinda felt awkard afterwards...

then we had a 3 way kiss which turned into just eric and i...he has some very sweet, sexy lips, too bad he's gay...lmao...

then i made a quick stop to the restroom where i watched robert take a piss...but i didnt' see him...but i saw him pee and i heard it...lmao....

maria, ashley, paloma, eric, tabby and paloma's bf left around 10 something. but it was all good...

i kept taking the guys with me to the bar so they could order my drinks... lmao... i didn't want to look like the drunkie... she knew what i was asking for though... lmao... i kept going back to get the next one...

it was freakin awesome...i did some crazy shit, but hey, emotions are emotions... right???

i almost fell down the stairs...lmao... that was freakin hilarous, but it was juan's fault....

got home around 1 or so cause i came home with jenny...lmao...she was mad at me, i can see why, but she wouldn't tell me... i hope she'll tell me tomorrow, but i doubt she will...

the guys are a trip, why didn't i meet them sooner????

placed a bet with robert mendoza, so i gotta call him tomorrow...

*oh yeah, after the make-out scene...i sat juan down and kinda confessed my latest actions... he understands what i mean, and says for me to not feel bad...i dunno though, i just dunno...

!!!SENIORS 2005!!!

wenros — 2005-05-28T07:05:33-05:00

I MADE IT!!! I FREAKIN GRADUATED TODAY!!!

BE PROUD OF ME!!!

YAY!!!

I WAS NOMINEE FOR HISD STUDENT!!! I WAS FREAKIN NOMINTATED BY THE TEACHER THAT FAILED ME!!!

hey JUAN!!!

wenros — 2005-05-29T10:05:45-05:00

CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR DAY!!!

I'M PROUD OF YOU...

YAY!!! JUAN!!!

GO JUAN GO!!!!

*johnny GRADUATED TODAY!!!

weekend...

wenros — 2005-05-29T10:05:58-05:00

i have to rehearse my song for tomorrow...

i have to be up at 5 to get my shtuff ready...

i so hope that i do well and not make my accomponist look bad...

rainy night!!!

wenros — 2005-05-29T11:05:46-05:00

it's raining...supposed to be a thunderstorm or what-not...

gianna is going to spend the night with me...she's so freakin cute...

i was asking my sis if i should take her a shower, and the rugrat says "i'm not dirty, i'm clean...i already took a shower"....lmao...!!!

i love that kid soo much...when she gets older and starts to talk trash to me i'll throw it in her face that i looked after her since she was 2 days old... in her 4 years of life, i think i have only spanked her 1nce or so, and i felt horribly bad afterwards, i kept apologizing...lmao... i love that kid mucho!!!

UIL State Competition-Voc... Solo

wenros — 2005-05-30T08:05:40-05:00

woke up at 5 to get ready and get my stuff...

got to school at 6.30...

got there around 10 or so, but had to wait for Zellers...i knew she wouldn't be too happy with me, so i didn't even bother...

went upstairs to find our room, to find out we were bumped up cause the other school's accomponist wasn't there yet...to my luck, i was first...

my heart raced and i entered the room...

i shook her hand and she said i looked really nice...

the piano started and i choked!!! my heart was racing so fast!!! i knew i blew it, so i tried to make the best of it...

i sang the wrong part and then i got it right... i fucked up nasty...i sang the last page all fucked up and i "finished" well to my luck, the piano was still playing...my eyes just got watery and i shook her hand, said thank you and walked out...

once i opened the door i fell out in tears!!! i blew the shit!!! fuckin me!!! ms. Zelaya was there holding me asking what went wrong...

i told her what happened and as i was done, the guy at the door asks "how do you think you did"...lmao...it was so hurtfully funny...i told him too what happened and he gave me a chocolate cookie...

i was like "well i hope i at least get a 4 and not a 5"... he like my attitude...lmao...

kathryn didn't do too good either, she messed up on the part she usually does...

we went back down stairs and i changed into my comfy clothes...

Zellers didn't even tell me anything... i didn't want to even look at her...i felt embarrassed for her!!!

after we turned in my music, we went to some chinese buffet...

while getting my food joe called back...lmao...i love that guy soo much!!!

got home and called babe...coochie answered, he was getting some food...
he called back after he ate and i told him what happened...i'm glad he is so supportive of me being a failure...

Dave & Busters / Hobby Center

wenros — 2005-06-02T04:06:12-05:00

so yeah...jackie spent the night last night...stayed up like bums...

we had a dinner thing at Dave & Busters...met the waiter Joe, who "stood by me"...lmao... then we played the games...lmao... they gave us the freakin cards already charged with 10 $$, then i waisted my money on the card...lmao...i took pablo's card, pablo's money, and pablo's tickets...lmao... that guy is too sweet...and to think it was HIS birthday...he's such a cutie...

after that i talked to traci about my THEA/TASP scores, they're supposed to be on my college transcript, along with my 6 HOURS of math!!! woo-hoo me!!!

i came home and bummed with the rugrats and my brother...we ended up watching WILLY WONKA AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY...my little niece, Baby Jewel, got scared of the Oompa Loompa's and started crying, poor kid she's already tramatized, and she's like almost a year...lmao...

then i got a call from Filiberto...i got dressed and he came for me within an hour...we went to see Disney's On The Record... it was soo cute!!! they sang songs from Cinderella to Notre Dame... he introduced me to his boss as his "date"...lmao... i thought that was freaken hilarous...we watched the shooting star across the ceiling while holding hands...it was our song!!! ...that guys is bad ass!!! during the intermission we got free drinks and candy cause the lady was his friend...his boss also bumped up our seats...he's gonna try really hard to get us tickets to see Phantom of the Opera!!! i soo hope he gets them... he knows i love to see plays and all that crap, so he gets me tickets for shows...i'm his first person to call when he gets tickets!!!

OMGosh, i was embarrassed for Filiberto and myself...lmao... he called saying he was outside, my brothers saw me get the phone...so my brother jesse says "if a guy doesn't bother to come to the door, don't open it."...lmao... so here comes Fili meeting my brothers... at least it wasn't as embarrassing like the time my brother asked MARK if he was sexually active!!! lmao... it was hilarous cause he was scared of my brother...lmao...

came home and bummed with my brother jesse...now that he's home, we'll be bumming a lot together...

oh my sis actually let me borrow her car the other day...lmao... i guess she wore it in enough...

um...what to name...

wenros — 2005-06-04T12:06:28-05:00

daniel came home today... turns out he broke the bone that's under his nail...

he was closing the car door and it mushed it...

i was telling my sis that she can write that in his memory book and she says "oh yeah, i took pictures of him in the bed..."...lmao...

he's a very active 8 year old??? so it's gonna be hard to not hurt himself...

is it love???

wenros — 2005-06-04T12:06:34-05:00

it was hard to talk to him without seeming happy to talk to him...

we went to erica's last game...even though they lost, it was very amusing...

got home and ate whatever mom had in the oven...

by the time i came back home he had already finished eating and was laying on jesse's bed watching tv...

if we were to have our own place, he would bum all day, play ut most of the time and we'd have sex wherever and whenever...i'd be working for the both of us with my "bad ass" job...lol...

so yeah...i went to get some floss while he was looking at himself in the mirror...as i was standing, he looks at my ass...lmao... "oh big oh booty" "want it??" "it's mine!!"....lmao...i stand in the closet doorway and bend over just enough to get him peeking, he loves it when i do that, "come and get it".... i love that guy too much...the shit we do to ourselves...

funny how he does stuff to me that makes me want him more!!!

he was sitting in the living room stretching, so his tummy was showing...that fucker, he knows i crave him and yet he does that shit on purpose...

he looked so sexy...i guess it's cause i've actually noticed that he lost weight...it's not much, but he's getting toned... i love him the way he is, but he wants more... dang that sexy mofo...

i was sitting on the arm rest, to get up i opened my legs, and pulled the other one in...lmao... i could see the big smile on his face...

too bad jesse is home, otherwise, we would've had sex one too many times already...lmao...

i still can't get over graduation night!!! the steering wheel won't ever be the same!!! it would've been really fucked up if jesse would've found us... we laughed about it for a bit while i was dressing...

i called him today at 5.30a just to let him know....

called him yesterday to his celly, and since he was playing, i didn't want to distract him..."no don't go, i haven't had a real conversation with you in a while"... how am i supposed to not love that???

he knows how i feel about him, and i know his deep feelings...

funny how he tries to hide it at times, and yet it just makes him cuter and more noticable...

                                        "i still love you, but i don't want you to know"

umm...what to say...

wenros — 2005-06-04T08:06:59-05:00

as i forced him in the closet with questions, we came to a conclusion:

"i'm being punished for being THE ONE"...

he knows i'm the one, and that's what scares him: that i am the best thing for him...

we try to keep our distance, but it ain't happening...

he just sat here on the chair, and i stood next to him...

doing nothing is the greatest feeling, cause it's just him and i...

i kissed his ear and stopped, "i don't want you to stop kissing me" he says...

he kisses my arm, sending sensations all over me...

his touch does wonders...

he gave me a passionate kiss and i pulled back, i don't want to get caught in the whirl..."what, i can't want to kiss you"...it makes me sick that he's so sweet to me, that he misses me...

i won't ever move on, which is very bad for my mental and emotional health...i just don't want to start all over... like i said, "2 years of all the shit we went through with my family, and almost losing your best friend...yeah, i don't want to restart just yet..."

i'm so comfortable with him, and he with i...

johnny "doesn't care" while jesse doesn't want to hear ANYTHING about it...

as i leaned in for another kiss i looked at him and said, "i love you...look at me... you still love me??" as he's kissing me he says, "yes, i love you"...

after a night with the guys, i still question him, eventhough i know better...but he's just as silly as i am for answering the question...

i know i'm not IN love with him, i've just hurt myself too much for it to still be there, but i do know that i love him to the fullest...funny how now looking back, i ask myself, "when was i in love, and how did it feel?"

i remember him coming here after work, then slowly he'd stay for the weekend, then after a while he'd stay for the week at a time... he didn't have anyone to go home to, seeing as his mother left him... i guess we found comfort in each other, and that's how it started... then one day as we're talking he says he has to move out...following monday, he is living in the backroom...

if only the years were different, and things were different...we'd find a place and move in, while i stay in school...but then what when i go to school??? i guess that's why he's holding off, cause like he said, "you're going to school, and you're going to meet new people"...

i know there are others out there, but i am split in 2. part of me is willing to stay lonely til he is ready, i guess during that time some maturaty won't hurt a bit...and the other part, well, the other part wants to be with the OTHER him...

love is such a weird mystery put up on us, but i guess that's why we're supposed to be "mature" to seek it...even then, there are some people who would do better off without it...

i thank God for him being in my life, cause God sure knows that i needed someone to help me out...he knows the reason for all of my tears, the reason for anger in voice, the reason for hurt in my eyes...

it's going to be really hard the day we have to part...

it just makes it even worse that he's my best friend...

action, or no action???

wenros — 2005-06-05T04:06:18-05:00

went out to play pool at Cue's tonight, just got home a little ago...

3 girls at one table, we managed to play like 2 or 3 games in one hour, while 4 guys at the other table played like 5 to 6 games...lmao...

i won't ever forget what happened the last time i went there...babe and i were together, so we were in the touchy phase...Jesse's friends came down from san marcos, so we went to play pool... as i proceded to the restroom, so did babe!!! lmao...that was one of the greatest moments...i'ma bring that up in convo tomorrow...

so as i was sitting there awaiting my turn, eusabio comes up to me and starts small talk...he's like "i'm going to ask you a question and don't lie to me" then he pushes me away, drunk men...lmao... "don't ever tell me that you've been drinking..." it was freakin hilarous to hear him talk...the last time we talked and he was drunk he said some very confessing things i know he wouldn't say if he wasn't drunk... he means well though...

as we were paying to leave, eusabio was still at the bar trying to hit on the bartender...lmao...so as he's stretching over to get a cherry, he slightly passes through my right boob, sarcasticly i say "thanks" , this dumbass replies smiling "i just wanted to see if they're real"...lmao... good thing Jesse didn't hear... that dumbass, the first time i was alone with his drunkself he was "tapping" my ass...lmao... to this day i haven't told babe...

we walk out joking about some motorcycle thing..."fuck you" he tells me...yolanda says "naw, you gotta ask jesse for permission to do that" lmao.... eveyone laughs at him, except jesse who makes some comment about "that's like having keys but no car"...

this whole time i am just wondering, what would babe say or do if he was here...

went to go eat after that cause by the time we would get to slick's it would be closed...

00-00-00-00-00-00-00-00-00-00-00-00-00-00-00-00-00-00-00-00-00-00-00-00-00-00-00-00-00-00-00-

funny how Jesse talks about babe getting drunk, but then he adds the part about, "naw, but he sobbered up"... i find that amusing for some reason...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i can't wait for the day we let EVERYONE know that we're together, if that day ever comes...

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

omGosh, if i ever get married, my whole family will think that my husband DE-VIRGINIZED me!!! woah, that would such a weird position to be in...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

lmao...i've asked babe before "do you feel weird eating at the same table with everyone, knowing that we're having sex???" he's like "you're brother in laws eat with us don't they???"

hey JUAN!!!

wenros — 2005-06-05T11:06:42-05:00

hey hun, well haven't talked to you in a while...

wonder where you been...

so yeah, i imed you the other day, and there was no answer...

guess i'll talk to you when you have time, cause GOD knows i have a lot of it to give...

much love hun, and hope you're enjoying your weekend...

date part 2...

wenros — 2005-06-06T07:06:32-05:00

fili and i talked yesterday...

apparently his coworkers and himself were mentioning me throughout the day...

some ladies and gentlemen said i was pretty, and others said something along the words...

lmao...his boss called me his "significant love" or something like that, others mentioned me as his girlfriend...lmao...

so yeah...i'm waiting for FILI now so we can go to the movies...

let's see how nervous he is about coming inside for me...again. lmao..rofl...

*correction* date # 4...

wenros — 2005-06-07T01:06:15-05:00

don't ever add more salt into popcorn, it gets salty...lmao...

good thing we had slurpy...

the movie was good...Longest Yard...

we saw quayLONG at work...i miss him sooooo much, i was so used to seeing him EVERYDAY!!! and now it's hardly ever!!!

after the movie we went back to quayLONG's job and chatted for a while...

since it was just 10 something, we decided to walk around the WHOLE freaken marq*e...lmao...we got wet from head to toe with those ball squirt thingies, then we sat at the "waterfall"...lmao...*note to self: don't ever wear a white shirt around Fili*...lmao...

KANSAS!!! lmao...

goofing off was so much fun, especially saying "naughty" comments out loud and getting people's reactions...

after a while we went back to the PIMP MOBLE !!!

got in the backseat and layed down to "dry off"... we kinda talked about everything since JANUARY 2005!!! woo-hoo, i enjoy saying '05 !!! it felt like an elementary school field trip, it was just that amusing...

after a couple of feet prints on the back window we got to driving home...

went to mc'd's cause i we were hungry...

got home around 15 til 12 or so...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dates:
1. Alley theater-The Crucible
2. Hobby Center- Peter Pan
3. Hobby Center- Disney's On the Record
4. Movies- The Longest Yard

according to the clock...

wenros — 2005-06-08T03:06:28-05:00

it was my dad's b-day YESTERDAY!!!

he's like 57 or so...not sure yet...

i was awaken around 7 or so in the morning with the mexican version of "Happy Birthday"...my mother played it for my dad like 3 times or so...

i love my daddy soooooooooooo much!!! it makes me feel stupid sometimes...but he's changing, he still has the bad habit of not giving us much money, but hey, we don't starve... the trick is to ask for larger quatity that needed, so that way, you can always have later money...

i am one of the very few people that has asked for anything...i guess it's cause i've seen what happens and i'd rather not be in stuff...i'm considered the good child...lol...

mother put sliced legs in the oven and jesse and i made agua de sandia...it wasn't fresh, but it tasted like it...

chris and the girls are planning to get a cake or something for dad on friday cause saturday's baby jewels water party... that rugrat is so freaken cute!!!

dad is almost done with the living room...well not really, but he's working on it...

the 6th was their anniversary...'kay, they've been together since mom was 13 and dad 15... now that dad's 57??? that would make it their 42nd anniversary??? wow that's a long time!!! wait, jc was born when mom was 18??? and they were married by then, dang it, i dunno how long my parents have been married...lol...

congrats to my parents on their belated anniversary, and CONGRATS to my daddy for making it this far with his condition...

hope i make it out alive...

wenros — 2005-06-12T07:06:57-05:00

i need to clean my closet!!! i've been holding it off for about a week now, i have so much clothes and other things i need to get rid of...

it's like getting stuck in a jungle, you think you're done when it gets you again...

does anyone have an extra mattress???

wenros — 2005-06-13T02:06:24-05:00

i still haven't finished cleaning my closet!!! i have only emptied out 2 shoe boxes!!!

if i don't put up the boxes that are calling my bed home, then i might have to sleep on the floor tonight...

woo-hoo!!!

wenros — 2005-06-14T02:06:45-05:00

it's my 2 year anniversary today!!! yay us!!!

i have no idea how we met, but i'm glad we did!!!

all i remember is getting on the bus and having the usual breakfast...during class i threatened to leave her!!! but we weren't even together!!! i guess she knew then it was now or never!!!

we were friends sophmore year, then we got together that summer...junior year she left to another school cause of a deal she made with her cousin...we stayed in touch and i missed her dearly!!! senior year she FINALLY came back!!! i loved to see her first thing in the morning every other day (1st period), then again later for 3rd... we ate lunch when possible, and i walked her to class...the days i couldn't see her during lunch, i'd go to her 7th pd and stand there till she saw me...lmao..her teacher would get so mad and make me go away!!!

lmao...those were the days!!! the memories we shared...the tears, smiles, hugs and kisses!!!

she is sooo close to my heart!!!

I LOVE MY WIFE!!!

ROGER!!! LOOK HERE!!!

wenros — 2005-06-14T02:06:25-05:00

um...so yeah...oops for not replying to ya... it's just weird, you know what i mean???

i dunno what's going on, i'm not even sure if anything is going on...

i don't want you to think that i didn't mean what i wrote in all those replies, cause i did *except the mean one's of course*

what the fuck am i saying...

i dunno how you even feel about this???

what is this???

blah!!! fucken shit, i feel so ugh right now... i feel like a pile of i-dunno-what at the moment...

it's late...i wonder if you're up. but you prolly are...but prolly not here, so who knows when you'll see this...

as you can tell, i had to move you around a bit so only you could see this...

reply to this when possible...

thanks...

*heart*
Vanessa Marie

bad girls...

wenros — 2005-06-14T04:06:53-05:00

took shower with gianna and coressa...

lmao...they're too cute...i've been making it a habit to shower with gianna, she's jsut my favorite...

after the shower, we walked out in our towels with our dirty clothes in hands...lmao...

i gave them their massages and dressed them...

that's when the unthinkable happened...

the freaken rugrats were playing in rudy's room and gianna managed to dicapitate baby jesus!!!

my mother whipped her behind and screamed at her so much!!! my dad even joined in, and he keeps anyone from screaming at her...

my mother sat there crying holding the baby...

mom is very religious so this hit her hard...

heading out to movies...

wenros — 2005-06-14T06:06:42-05:00

so yeah...

i'm waiting for filibert to get me...

going to movies at that place on I-10...lmao...

*even though i'd like to go with someone else, it's just not possible...he knows who he is* lmao...

back in one piece...

wenros — 2005-06-15T12:06:40-05:00

lmao...

the movie was really good...Mr. & Mrs. Smith...

brad pitt!!!

went to hot topic afterwards and i got my vieja a pin...now i just have to see her to give it to her...

calling it a night...

nothing beats a free movie, slush, and a nice breeze...

finally...

wenros — 2005-06-15T12:06:24-05:00

ok, so we had a long talk...

it's settled...

i like him and he likes me... :)

that was on my mind for a while...kinda troubling if you ask me...

so...

late, but hey...

wenros — 2005-06-15T12:06:17-05:00

i have finally applied to college...

i've been lie-ing to my family for a while now...

but it's just cause i wasn't sure of getting in...

little did i know there's a rule thingy that says.....

TOP 10 % has very good chance of acceptance...

well i kinda knew it, but i just failed to acknowledge it...

life sucks, i'm so mad at myself for seeing myself as failure all them years...

i wasn't even like HAPPY at graduation...i was just glad to get it over with...

i doubt i deserved to graduate...but i'm glad it's over...

*trying to move on with life*

it's official!!!

wenros — 2005-06-16T12:06:04-05:00

we're TOGETHER!!!

after 6 long up and down years, we've made it through...

i'm sooooo happy, jumping with JOY!!!

Stop reading go read johnny *my boyfriend again for like the millionth time*

12.59 - 3.50...from what i recall...

wenros — 2005-06-16T08:06:09-05:00

wow!!!

i couldn't believe i actually went through it... i don't regret it, it was sooo worth it!!!

i hope nights like this happen again *not stalking*...lol...

we talked about so much shtuff, and i wasn't even sleepy...

gosh, the only reason i had to go was cause jesse came home...

he's such a sweetie...

lmao...i called back after the first hang up...

woke up with a smile!!!

awEsomE...

wenros — 2005-06-17T03:06:13-05:00

hate not having my own phone...

at 6 o clock we finally hung up...

johnny freaken scared me...lmao...

so yeah, we talked for a couple of hours...

life is weird!!!

emotions are like a rainbow to me right now, if i just knew which colors to mix, the picture will be beautiful...

*interesting fact*
after graduation i was going to close this crap of an account...and stop blogging completely...now it will be hard to do that...

lmao...silly me...

wenros — 2005-06-17T03:06:35-05:00

as i was in the shower, letting the water fall down my back...all i could think about was you...how you would hold me...kissing my neck...your arms wrapping around me...

then i felt something cold...that quickly brought me back to reality...the rugrats thought it would be funny to throw water at me, so we had a water fight...

don't know what to do...

wenros — 2005-06-17T09:06:01-05:00

i know something is wrong...

but he won't tell me...

i guess it's cause jesse is here...

we talked about this the other day, but i guess it's actually happening...

i just wish i could be there for him...

i love him and he knows if he needs anything, i'm ther for him...

god, please...

finally...thanks god...

wenros — 2005-06-17T11:06:44-05:00

just talked to babe a couple of minutes ago...

it's exactly what i thought...

so he left his sisters, that &*^(% of her, i can't believe she chose that guy over her own brother!!!

he's really hurt at the moment...

so jesse went over there to see if he can bring babe back home...i hope he gets to stay with us, that would really do him well...

i wish i could do something to help him...so he's 200 $$ short cause he gave her money for stuff...

i can't fucken believe her!!! and the only thing she managed to say was "it wasn't proven"...she will really learn her lesson when the kids get taken away from her, let's just hope it doesn't come down to that...

life is weird...

wenros — 2005-06-18T06:06:04-05:00

jesse brought babe home last night...
we talked for a bit, then we started watching movies...
i think he felt better being away from all that crap...who knows...
we stayed up til he got sleepy and went off to bed...
lmao..."roger is on"...i could tell that he wanted to see if "roger" would write anything...

mom and dad slept in the living room...right next to the phone...lmao...

woke up today and bummed in bed...

connie came over today!!! yay!!! i love her soooo much... she brought me my graduation gifts: butterfly ring, chicken grad and a card....
she got 3 new tatoos, so that makes it 11 !!! she got 2 skulls on her inside wrists, a male with a blue tie, and a female with a pink hair bow...lmao...they're cute...she also has a cute green frog on her foot...that girl is one funky child...gabriel doesn't have any new ones, but he is thinking about getting the barcode on his inside wrists...
i showed her my prom pix and she was WOW-ED!!! gabriel too... i wish she would've been able to see me leave in my dress!!!

j.c., rudy, connie and garbiel left to galveston with eduardo to celebrate jc. and rudy's b-day and an early father's day as well...since joanne is both parents, they're going to give her her days worth...lol...

so yeah...babe was using the computer when i gave him all his mail...apparently his check came in like 2 days ago...so it's set...he's going to live with us for like a week or 2 then he's getting his apartment...johnny is leaving with him, he'll be there during the week cause it's closer to his job, but johnny will come home on the weekends...

as we finished cooking, i called babe in to eat...he was very emotional and talking to his female cousin...apparently she just found out what's going on...she is going to call C.P.S to try to take the kids away from his sister...i'd hate for her to learn this way, but if it comes down to it, it'll be for the best...erica called babe today, she is the only one allowed from the house...all he wants is to be there for her, to protect her!!! i really do hope she is doing fine...

jesse and babe did some furniture moving around so he can put his clothes in...

we now have 2 additional illegal weapons in the house...johnny got another assault rifle, and something else...jesse was going to take johnny, but he didn't want to risk getting pulled over...lmao..."why would they pull us over??" "ummm, a cadillac with thumping music, full of guys, and illegal weapons, yeah, that won't look too good"...lmao...

my application is being reviewed by the college...i got a call from project grad asking if i was already accepted so they can do the paper work for my scholarship... sadly i said "no, it's pending"...which reminds me, i have to get my transcript monday...that way i can send in the high school and college one...

i washed dishes today...so i have done my good deed...lmao...jesse gets so mad when he thinks i haven't done anything...the majority of the time i just do the dishes, it's much more peaceful than moping the whole freaken house and vacuming, and sweeping...

hot dog, i have to vacum my carpet, sweep and mop my room...HOT DOG!!! i have so much shit to do it's not even funny...if i made a list of what was to be done, i'd run out the notepad...lmao...i have to wash today, cause i know i won't do it tomorrow...

what's the point of starting if you're not going to finish??? cause it's fun knowing all the crap in between...

fed the fish more water today...now it's kinda full...

consequences due to beauty...

wenros — 2005-06-18T08:06:33-05:00

so yeah...

as i was talking to callmeroger on the phone...i got a call from my aunt...

ended up having to hang up with him...dang her not speaking spanish self...

as i was giving the phone to my mom...

I GOT IN TROUBLE FOR WALKING AROUND THE HOUSE SEXly IN MY TOWEL!!! lmao...

this is the first time this has happened...usually she lets me do whatever i want...

i guess it's cause jesse is here, and babe is here too...but he's spending the night at his brothers...

dang my mother!!! lmao...

i am now hiding in my room NAKED!!! ha, that will teach her a lesson!!! lmao...

fucken shit!!!

wenros — 2005-06-18T10:06:49-05:00

that bastard!!!

i don't care if he's having family problems, he knows better than that...

it fucken pisses me off that when i ask him tomorrow i know he will say "oh i forgot to tell you that part"

that fucken dick head... he's with that bitch right now!!!

i can't fucken stand that shit, he knows i don't fucken like her and all he said today was that he was going drinking...

even better, he's staying at his brothers tonight, so that way i won't ask anything when he gets home...

that fucker!!!

i'm so freaken pissed!!!

then he has the balls to leave his charger here...charger here= good excuse to not answer phone...

he doesn't even have balls to tell me he was going with her...

not going to waste my breathe calling him tonight...i'll do it tomorrow instead...when he has his hangover!!! lmao...

fuck, no sex for a week or so...

if it was me, i wouldn't hear the end of it...but since it's him, i "can't say anything" lmao...

that shits cute when he's here and i obey him, but when that bitch comes in the picture, he knows way better...

hey you...yeah, you know who...

wenros — 2005-06-18T10:06:40-05:00

it's really hard wanting to talk to you when you're no where's to be found...lmao...

so yeah...i guess i'll talk to you when i do huh???

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY...DADS

wenros — 2005-06-19T03:06:36-05:00

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY to all that apply, and to all that aren't aware of it yet...lol...

hope the day is filled with warm hugs and such...

*especially callmeroger , happy father's day hun...again* :) ;)

father's day without a dad...

wenros — 2005-06-19T06:06:42-05:00

good thing i told my dad at 12 happy dad's day...

(their clock is behind, so that's how i managed to get to callmeroger at 12.)

he went to work today, i think he left around 5-6...

he doesn't have an hour to come home, so who knows what time he'll be back tonight...

i love my daddy soooo much!!!

settling a matter...bad aunt...

wenros — 2005-06-19T06:06:40-05:00

babe got home early last night...

he walked straight into my room...that ass...

we started talking, and he knew where it was going...

he complained of a headache, so i followed him into the back room and gave him an asprin...

as he was putting up the stuff that was on the beds, we talked...

apparently cesar told him once before "think of girls like this, are they worth the drama?"

he saw me smile so he says "don't even say anything, you know you were worth so much drama, A LOT of drama..."

the whole time we talked it felt really good...we didn't argue and no voices were raised...last night was one of the few nights where something gets solved at a quiet level...

he recognized he was wrong, and he made it clear that even though he likes her, he really doesn't have time for her...the only reason he has time for me is cause...yeah...

the only reason the bitch was with them was cause her and charlie broke up...the only reason i can't stand her is cause when he and i were together, she knew he was with me, and yet she was still trying to get with him...oh my, he didn't tell me anything last night for calling her a BITCH...interesting...

there was much respect between us last night...no wonder he's my best friend...lol...

after a while he came back into my room and we watched movies while gianna was alseep behind me...

i got up to get him some water, and when i got back i gave him a hug and kiss on cheek, one of those *hey, i'm here for you* then i heard some noise outside...i look up and jesse's car is parked outside...i doubt he saw anything, i hope not...

after a while babe went back to his room and i went to sleep...

*such a bad aunty*

last night when yola brought gianna, i was to take her a shower...but gianna and i made a deal, i wasn't going to shower her, but she could stay up and watch cartoons...before she went to sleep i told her "mommy, when you wake up tell me tia wessa take me a shower"... i have no idea what time she woke up, but i remember hearing "tia, take me a shower"...all i said was "not now, let me sleep a little, then i'll give you a baño"...

i woke up at 12.30 or so, and she was no where's to be found...i later found out that yola came for her like at 8 or so...the sad part was that my dad found her sitting on my speaker at 5 AM!!! she's scared of the dark, so she just sat on the speaker til someone showed, or i woke...i feel so horrible...

interesting...

wenros — 2005-06-22T01:06:45-05:00

so i was talking to VELAZQUEZ tonight...

turns out she has pix of me on her cpixel thingamajigger...

she has one really good one of me, and i like it very much...

i think that's a decent one i wouldn't mind people seeing...

then again, it was at PROM, so i dunno...

thinking...

wenros — 2005-06-22T02:06:34-05:00

it hurts...

i know i have to face the truth one day...

but it hurts just thinking about it...

3 years, that's 3/4s of my high school...

i'm thankful we came into each other's lives, cause we both needed each other...

i am really going to miss him...

i guess everyone has to move on some day, i just didn't think it would be this way...

the circumstances won't allow us...we've made that clear...

he knows where he stands...

i hate that we were hidden from our families...

3 years hidden from his BEST FRIENDS!!!

3 years of his life, shadow that follows him...

all they know was that we were silly kids who thought we knew what we were doing...

we did, and we knew what we wanted..each other...

he was just out of high school, and i was just getting a hang of it...

i won't ever forget what he told me...the day he made me cry...i could see the love in his eyes...i guess that's when it really hit...

ever since then, i have trusted myself with him...

if he really cared and loved me as much as he said, then he wouldn't let that happen, until we made the decision that we BOTH wanted it...

we've talked about it, and it's something in the future...

funny how things turned out between us...

he was and still has been there for me whenever i need it, even when i don't, he's still there...

he's put up with so much of my shit... he didn't have to put up with any of it, and yet he takes it all in...

we talked about that the other day, how he gives me whatever amount of money i need without asking..."we were together at the time"... no we weren't...lmao... he payed for each of my SAT's and not to mention the endless amount of money i randomly asked for...he couldn't think of an excuse...he does it cause that fucker cares for me and wants to see me happy...he finds it terribly cute how i stash emergency dollars in his wallet...how i have to wrestle him for the wallet cause he doesn't like to get money from me...

that one time i had a job, i'd stash "emergency money"...but we knew where that money was for...lmao...

so many memories, and to not be able to share them with the people i love hurts really bad...

i have disobeyd my parents and family...

i disrespected not only my family, but myself at times too...

the shit we did, and still do at times...

i know deep down inside he loves me, and he sees the love when i just look at him...

we've had our ups and downs, but we manage to get through them well...

yesterday was one of those days...we were here in my room talking about stuff...and me and my bad temper got really upset...well after a few punches at him he gets up and walks away...i knew i fucked it up and he prolly wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the day...not even half hour later i go into his room and ask him "babe, are you mad at me??" smiling he says "no, i'm not"... then we went on like nothing...

what am i going to do???

who am i kidding...

hey you...

wenros — 2005-06-22T03:06:05-05:00

well you're no where's to be found...

the light is too bright from the screen so i guess i'll turn the whole thing off...
*computer*

i've been sitting here wanting to talk to you...

but i can't find you...

so i have no other alternative...

i'm heading out to bed...

well, if and when you get this, check Yim...

toodles hun...

that's it...

wenros — 2005-06-22T03:06:24-05:00

what's the point...

UGH!!!

sucky day...interesti... day...

wenros — 2005-06-23T03:06:45-05:00

my day didn't start off too well...
then again i was up at 2 or so in the morning...
grabbed the phone...then couldn't sleep for like an hour...
thoughts were just running through my head...
*it's like you tried to take all the smiles away* lmao...
i'm such a weirdo...
woke up and took shower with gianna...that rugrat...
i helped dad paint the living room bay window...
took a nap...
babe woke me up when he got home...that bum...
bummed in bed while he used comp...
just bummed most of the afternoon...
after a while went to yolas house to eat lasagna...
eusabio, rudy, jesse, and babe all went...
took gianna another shower before she went to bed...
got home to fold jesse's clothes...
while in the back room, eusabio, babe and i started to play around...
lmao...guys...
sabo caught me with the towel on my thigh!!! that shit stung...he was laughing his ass off cause he thought he slapped my cooch...lmao...
shoes were thrown across the room and so was jesse's clothes..lmao...
babe was talking shit, so i flung the pants at him, catching him good...
he just layed in bed for a good couple of minutes holding himself in pain...
the whole time sabo and i were laughing our asses off!!! lmao...
"shut your mouth" lmao...yeah, i think he learned his lesson, if not then he will later...
we talked about porn and all that other good stuff, the whole time watching the door to make sure jesse was no where's around...gosh, if he ever caught us in a convo he'd get REALLY piss...
around 11.30 or so sabo and i walked out of the room, but not after turning out the lights and throwing more shit at babe..lmao...
i need to wash my clothes...i haven't washed for like 3 weeks or so...lmao...i find random clean jeans in the closet and throw on a t-shirt...i think i still have like 5 more clean jeans, prolly more, but i don't like to wear all of my jeans...weird i know...hmmm...i have like 3-4 shorts, so i really don't have to wash...lmao...i haven't been wearing underwear for like the past week or so...lmao...
what's happening to me...i'm becoming LAZY!!!
jc got the keys to her house today!!! woo-hoo!!! i might be the only one who hasn't seen it yet... all i know is that it's 2 floors, with like 3-4 bedrooms...
i finally went to pick up my transcript woo-hoo me!!!
i ran to chris's job to get one of those big envelopes cause the ones i got from cvs were a tad too small...then i ran back home to beat the mail man...
the usual mail man *who's name i forgot* injured himself, so it's a new man...
the original guy is soo cool...he takes my sisters HOUSE mail and takes it to her JOB for her!!! and he always has a smile on!!! he knows all of us...lmao...
we used to have a UPS friend...lmao...
we know a lot of people...i guess that's a good thing from living at the corner...we see so many interesting people pass...
i hate that i have to exit this freaken thing whenever someone comes around me...
i can't EVER let my family know about this thing...
i've closed this window like 5 times already..lmao...
*sigh*

the best of you...

wenros — 2005-06-23T03:06:35-05:00

I’ve got another confession to make
I’m your fool
Everyone’s got their chains to break
Holdin’ you

Were you born to resist or be abused?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

Are you gone and onto someone new?
I needed somewhere to hang my head
Without your noose
You gave me something that I didn’t have
But had no use
I was too weak to give in
Too strong to lose
My heart is under arrest again
But I break loose
My head is giving me life or death
But I can’t choose
I swear I’ll never give in
I refuse

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
You trust, you must
Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

Oh...

Oh...Oh...Oh...Oh...

Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
The life, the love
You die to heal
The hope that starts
The broken hearts
You trust, you must
Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

I’ve got another confession my friend
I’m no fool
I’m getting tired of starting again
Somewhere new

Were you born to resist or be abused?
I swear I’ll never give in
I refuse
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
You trust, you must
Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Oh..

FOO FIGHTERS

admission decision...

wenros — 2005-06-23T11:06:50-05:00

Application Status
Congratulations! You have been accepted for admission into Sam Houston State University for FALL 2005. You must be advised before registering.

i've been checking the freaken account for like every half hour...lmao... i sent in the transcripts yesterday...i hope i get my 6 hours transferred...my college g.p.a is a 1.00...lmao...but it's all good...i faxed in the supplement form for financial aid today...and the scholarships i have...i hope nothing has to come out of my pocket...cause my dad is going to stop working...my brother and i were the only reasons he was working...and now that my brother graduated, and i'm leaving...he really has no reason...if him and mom go to mexico, then they don't have to worry about money...grandpa has an account with a couple of G's in it...

once i read the thing i went to shake my brothers hand "congratulate me, i am now a bearkat" ...his reponse "congratulations, i don't know what a bearkat is but you should be a BOBCAT" lmao...TEXAS STATE was supposed to be my future home...so was BAYLOR...i am thinking of transferring after like a year or 2...

i walked around the living room...told dad, told mom...then ran to the back room and pulled babe off the bed...he's like "um, ok congratulations"...lol... i know he's proud of me...

"i'm not going to get back with you if you don't go to college" he actually told me that last time...then he lightened it up with "i need someone who's going to make more money than me, to support me"

pete is gonna try to go with me tomorrow...to get all my stuff straightened out...i am waiting for the financial aid paper so that i can try to get the worksource to pay for my books...they can pay up to $3,500 for books...

is this the end???

wenros — 2005-06-24T02:06:01-05:00

dunno what's going on...

dead silence...

i type wondering if he's on the other side...

just to find out...

i am yet again left alone...

* smiles at herself*

long day...

wenros — 2005-06-26T01:06:59-05:00

gianna spent the night last night...

lmao...jesse got bothered that i had gianna on the phone talking to johnny

that rugrat is one weird child...i was going to take her a shower, but she was "scared" , apparently she only uses the shower when i'm in it with her...

i tried to take her a bath, but she's VERY independent...and she's only 3, going on 4...i blame yola for that...yola is always making her do stuff on her own...she doesn't wash her own dishes, but is learning about washing clothes...

the whole time i just sat on the toilet making sure she got all the soap off...she took a shower in her SWIM SUIT!!! lmao...she's too cute... then i let her sleep in my shirt cause i forgot to get her some jammies...

after a while jesse came and we watched some [Adult Swim]... and to this day i still have not seen ROBOT CHICKEN!!! lmao...that's his favorite show...

babe stayed at coochies cause she's in Cali with the kids...if they're not back by next thursday, babe is going to call the cops...lmao...

jesse, mom and i went to jc's today...we really didn't help much, but we did something...i BAKED COOKIES!!! woo-hoo me...got home around 8 or so...

called babe when i got home cause i saw his name on caller id...that guy is one lazy person, but it's all good...

i didn't notice babe was home...so i was surprised when he was getting after me..."and where the hell did you go wearing that??" lmao... red spaghetti low dip strap and little blue jean shorts...

j, rudy, and babe went out to some house party...johnny just came back for some drank...he had some girls in the car..lmao...but i think they're all meeting up later or what-not...

on the way to jc's i found out that jesse beat up some white guy...reason: the white guy hit j's caddie from the back...

mom was talking about jesse being the violent one, then jesse kinda cleared it up that johnny is actually the worse one...johnny has the bad habit of going straight to fighting, jesse is the type to make you feel stupid and embarrass you infront of everyone, then beat you up if he has to...the both of them together is one bad picture...and they don't ever go solo...wherever they are, there are plenty others with them...

if i ever say jesse is violent, he is quick to mention my locker room fight...lmao...

missing info...

wenros — 2005-06-26T02:06:11-05:00

today was the GAY PARADE!!!

i'm not there, so i'm kinda mad...

but i WILL go NEXT year!!!

new mission!!!

i take it back, it's not over...

wenros — 2005-06-26T05:06:07-05:00

we finally got around to talking...

i'm glad he finally decided to answer...lol...

it's weird, i'm weird, it's all good...

we talked for a bit...118??? but there was some before that...

then the guys came home, so i had to hang up...

if only i had my own phone...

wow, what a night...

wenros — 2005-06-28T04:06:07-05:00

some shit was about to go down NASTY!!!

i can't stay up tonight...

i WILL never forget tonight...

i can't call callmeroger tonight... so i am bummed...

lmao...i just got scared!!! all of a sudden i hear lburlburlbulrburl...then i switch channels...the stupid thing is doing the weekly test...lmao...silly me...

am i too late or too early???

wenros — 2005-07-02T12:07:13-05:00

omGosh...

i sooo forgot what today was...

if i am correct...

today is "ROGER DAY"...

how could i let this event pass!!!

hey hun, if you read this...dunno if you started the X already...but congrats...and if you haven't, i'll still congrats you later!!!

silly me...

wenros — 2005-07-02T01:07:09-05:00

it said you were on...

but i guess by the time i got there you had left...

either way, i just wanted to tell you "goodnight"...

i mean since we haven't talked in a bit...

i feel like a little kid after a lollipop or something...

and to think the weekend has just begun...

wenros — 2005-07-02T09:07:44-05:00

quite a few things have happened...and to think i still have sunday left...
some good and some BAD/SAD...
went to SAM with pete and sis to turn in some papers and get a few numbers...
had picnic with PETE and sis...the rugrats were throwing bread at the ducks/roosters...
registered for some classes...apparently i am having problems...
I HAVE A CLASS WITH JUAN!!! history, my worst subject...
johnny and babe signed the lease, they "moved in" friday...
talked to babe about a few things...that dumbass is one weird puppy...
slept early while the guys were getting drunk at the apartment...
woke up at 10 or so today...watched some cartoons...
found out Gianna went to mexico with Yola yesterday...
haven't had actual convo with callmeroger but i am hoping for best...
went to take dad some things to his job sight...
while going to dad's jesse and i went tooooo far...lmao...
on the way back we got some doughnuts...
came home to find babe on my bed watching tv...
after a while j, babe and i went to get more doughnuts and then stopped at poppa burger to get some burgers...
watched tv for a bit...
as mom was on the phone i heard her say "ay dios"...and i knew something was bad...
elisa's *the preg. sis* father-in-law, CARL BOSIER, passed away at 2 pm. he had brain surgery for cancer or something like that last week or so...he was doing fine, but this morning he had some kind of attack and passed away...
as i was going to my room to tell babe, i noticed he wasn't there...only 1 thing would make him leave my room...
the BITCH called him so he went to the kitchen...babe needs to grow some balls...
babe and i had a little convo...hilarous how we settle stuff...
went with chris to wash her clothes...
went to get a raspa *chica fresa con CREMA* mmm...yummy...
came home to find the guys gone...
johnny and babe took all their stuff to the apartment...
i miss my brother!!! i love my brother!!!
took another shower...so i am here naked at the computer...
oh yeah...i might have 2 jobs...

life is so weird!!!

it makes me mad how my father is the primary one to blame for all of this...hearing everything that he DIDN'T do for the family gets to me...but what can we do...nothing can make him change...funny how he knows we can lose EVERYTHING and yet he seems to have no emotion...
my mom is gonna start to work...next week or so...

i dunno what to do...

it PISSES me off when they talk about babe...they have no reason to put his name in their mouths...what makes me even more mad is that all i can do is bite my tongue...and i can't tell him cause i know it hurts his feelings...2 faces is hard work!!!

i hope one day i can come clean about my past 3 years, but there is just no way!!! if anyone from my family found out about all that's been going on...i wouldn't hear the end of it...i might even get disowned...i don't even want to think about it...
to not be able to talk to your family about that one guy that showed you almost everything hurts soooo bad...
why did this happen so early??? if i was only older then MAYBE it would be ok... silly him and i for having emotions for each other...silly us for thinking we could get away with it...well we really did, but not like we can scream it out to the world or anything...

but it's good that i won't see babe anymore...i think it's time for me to move on... "you just need to get away from everything, including me"... i know he means well, cause he cares... if babe and i were really meant to be, then we'll meet again...

it brings me to tears but i have to face it... i need to move on... i know he'll be there for me, he has proven that til this day... he hasn't lied to me, and i thank him for that... i guess i got what was coming to me...
when i get my house phone, i know he'll be one of the first that i call...he just means so much to me...more than a boyfriend/lover/EX/booty call...he's my love, my BABE... he's asked me why i still call him that, but he hasn't asked that i stop... i enjoy his presence, even if we're just laying on the bed with his hand on my ass...
when we're in front of family and others we play the "just friends" role pretty good...but when it's just he and i in the room, we don't care...we just keep watch to not get caught...like the past few days...lmao...
he still has his way with me, but i like that, so i let him...i won't ever forget the time he practically had me on a leash and i on him...lmao...i love that guy...
i know nothing would change, cause we still have feelings for each other, like he says "i'm not supposed to care, but you know, i do care"...
now that he's got his apartment and i am off to college, we're really trying to make the best of anytime we have to ourselves...

babe loves me and i love him...it just can't and will not happen...

dear smiling friend of mine...

wenros — 2005-07-03T02:07:34-05:00

it's really late, and my father just passed by...

funny how i was hoping to talk to you tonight...

for some absurd reason i have been sitting here at my comp...

doing what you ask??? reading all the old messages we sent on y-im...since the first day til the other day...

lmao...i think it's funny what was said...i think you find it amusing as well...

if i did it correct, i think i sent you a text...lol...let's see how long it takes for you to get it...

goodnight...

*messages bring smiles, while waiting brings clouds*

JUAN HELP!!!

wenros — 2005-07-04T12:07:17-05:00

i dunno what the fuck to do...

i hate this...

there is so much i want to say...

so many thoughts going through my mind...

i hate being the reason for shit...but that's just the way it is...it's always my fault...

why did i have to let emotions get involved in the first place...why couldn't i see him as just a friend...

the first thing i thought when i woke up was you...and how you really really love me...lol...but on a serious note...thank you sooo much for last night...i appreciate you being there for me...even if you don't agree with my feelings, you listened with open ears...

i kept myself from crying to sleep last night...i just clenched my teddy and layed in bed... all i could remember was what you said...I LOVE YOU SOO MUCH JUAN...eventhough we're angry at each other at times...and at times i hate you for no reason at all...juan...thank you...it's been some tough 6 years, but hey we're still together...we've been there for each other at tough times, and i hope college just brings up even closer...our friendship means so much to me...even though at times i say otherwise...

thank you for collecting my little heart and glueing all the shredded pieces after it's been broken and man handled...

feels like a divorce gone wrong...should i try to fix things, what should i say...will he ever forgive me...is this really the end...

then i realize, yup vanessa, thanks to you...this is the end...

say goodbbye to the hugs, love, kisses, soft words, caresses, slight touches that make you tingle, passionate kisses, longs embraces when he's leaving, taking off his shoes after a long days of work, giving and getting massages, trying to be sneaky about making lunch for the both of us, and most of all, goodbye to him...

¿que hago? = what do i do?

sunday...

wenros — 2005-07-05T11:07:05-05:00

went to jc's house around 1 or so...

jesse kicked babe out of my room so i could change...lmao...*if only he knew how much babe's seen*

ate and chilled at jc's house for a couple of hours...

she has a really nice house...sucks that it took so long to get where she's at...

after a couple of hours j, babe, johnny, rudy and i went to richards house...

met his sisters and all the kiddos...he's the only guy, so it's funny that all his sisters have kids...

all the guys were drinking...it was hilarous...richards dad had some guy all drunk...i think it was cousins boyfriend or what-not, he's from SLOVENIA, so he has that sexy accent..lol......poor guy and all he was drinking was beer...after a while tony got everyone talking about politics the war and god knows what else...3 or 4 of the guys are in the marines, so they had things to talk about...

babe was drinking next to me, so it was quite entertaining as well...

after a while they started to smoke, and i felt my lungs tightening up...my breathes started to get shorter, and i knew i had to get away...

fuck it all...

wenros — 2005-07-07T04:07:43-05:00

what's the point sometimes...

feel like a little kid...

having hope on a melted ice pop on a hot summer day...

luckily i have friends like juan *johnny

life is so effin weird and fucked up at the moment...

babe broke up with me sunday night...it still hurts, but i and he'll get over it someday...
the way he sees it is, as long as he hurts i will...
his finger is still swollen, and purple...the purple is spreading...
he can move it more, so that's good...
even if we don't patch things, its all good, as long as he can forgive me for hurting him...

on a lighter note, i bought 3 more thongs...might as well keep myself happy right???

i finally gave into my cravings for wings...went with yola, gianna, and agustin to wings something...

yola bought me the travel case for Mr. Nibbles II...so now i just need some plants, blue rocks and the rock thingy...i think he'll love it...i am also thinking about getting another beta...naw...i'll let him get spoiled...besides babe gave it to me, and hopefully in december it'll be 2 YEARS!!! that's the longest...

lmao...babe and i were wondering if it would last as long as he and i...lmao...funny thing, Mr. Nibbles II won...lol...he's lasted longer...i changed his water yesterday...babe made me...lol...at times when i am angry at babe, i feel like giving up on the fish...i guess i just imagine babe as the fish, and me holding it in my hand...squishing, or it flapping it's fins on the table, fighting for water...i'm so mean!!!

gianna cried cause she wanted to stay with me...
i'ma miss my monkey when i leave...

lmao...she was bossing me around at CVS...so i asked "what am i your puppy???" her response was quick "yes"...lmao...i tried so hard to keep a straight face...but i nor yola could...lmao...

for some reason she likes to sleep on the floor when she watches cartoons in my room...

i made her a little bed consisting of a towel, blanket that mom crochet for me, and my blankie... i laid her down and wrote a few sentences to juan...i looked back and she was asleep...

after a few hours i got her up and put her on the bed...lmao...she got mad at me for moving her...laid her back on the floor...that girl is weird...then i realized...she would only sleep on the bed if she saw ME on the bed...lol...

i'm miss taking showers with her...taking naps with her...and just bumming in our pj's most of the day watching cartoons...lol...i love that rugrat as if my own...if i didn't go to school back then, i would be considered her mother...she holds my hand instead of her mothers...she runs behind me when she's scared...i love her soo much...

hey juan...

wenros — 2005-07-07T04:07:15-05:00

i was going through old entries...and look what i found...

check my calendar for November 29, 2004 ...

i think that's hilarous...i have other entries that are smiliar...i just can't find them...

i have a question...for some reason my head is making me think that some of my old private entries were erased when mindsay went from the other version to this one...what do you think??? i think so...but am i the only one???

rainy thursday...

wenros — 2005-07-07T09:07:55-05:00

i don't care what you say or think...

it's raining and i'm thinking about you...

and everything that was said...

not sure if the feeling is mutual...but that's how i feel...

what a day...

wenros — 2005-07-09T05:07:15-05:00

today actually started yesterday...

juan * johnny * and i were on y-im chatting about stuff and what-not...after a while the bum left to get manny...

i miss manny so much!!! he's an awesome guy!!! that guy knows so much about me and the personal me that to lose him as a friend would be a mistake...just because he means so much to me on a friendly level...only cause he's seen me in bra and panties means nothing-what can i say, we were in drama together...lmao...

around 2 something i called juan...*unexpected* lol...that's when i got caught by jesse...i had no choice but to hang up...jesse walks to my room and gives me a discipline talk...which i found kinda amusing...

gianna and coressa stayed the night...yola was at the club and lisa was in austin trying to get custody of the body...all night they kept pouting and sobbering for their mommies...

around 2.30 or so went to sleep...kept waking throughout the night...i was freaken COLD, but for some reason the girls sweat easily...

my sleep was shaken off at 6.30...and what do i do???

I CALL JUAN!!! lmao...poor guy, he answered the phone asleep...he spoke in one word dialogue...lol...after a few i love you's and puh-leases he stayed a wake for a bit...around 7 or so i gave in, seeing as he had to go work today, i felt kinda bad...but not really...lol...

by this time the girls were awoke and watching cartoons on my bed...and they were STILL asking for their mommies!!! lol...

made breakfast for each girl, and tried to give jewel her bottle...that evil child, she only takes what mother gives her...went to get some groceries...i hope my sister gets pregnant...she wants a girl, so do the jacob's...

i call juan around 10 or so...take shower with gianna and get ready...

manny calls around 11 to say they're on their way...i so could not find anything to wear...i hate when that happens...

we went to tinsletown...juan bought the tickets for all of...we waited for lucia, but they were just on their way...manny ended up getting refund on their set of tickets and he waited for lucia and them while juan and i went to watch the movie...

it felt really good to finally be with him...every single time we want to make plans, family is usually the reason for one of us cancelling...we've only managed to get together 4 times, and the first was by mere accident/luck...

lmao...we got our slirpy thingy and headed to the movie...CHEAP DATE lol...

the movie was boring *fantastic 4*, but i managed to amuse myself...flaming burger!!! lmao...exhibit A...lol...after a good laugh *lol* i broke the ice by kissing him...it was so freaken hard to get comfortable cause the thing in the middle didn't move!!!

i asked him a question or 2 and i managed to fustrate him...but i think i made up for it *wink wink* lol...the cool thing about the movie were the endless sexual inuendo's...well from my point of view of course...

hands were roaming in places to be kept warm...the freaken theater was cold...me and my intelligent self wore shorts, and not long either...

the lady in front of us kept turning around to ask if JUAN could stop kicking her seat...some people are just rude...

we stayed while the credits were rolling and had wild sex in the back row!!! lmao...

afterwards we went to get some bk...luckily juan actually knew where he was going...why didn't he just stay on the freeway i dunno...

we got some burgers and shared a large fries...around 3 or so he came to drop me off cause he goes in at 4...

RISK OF THE DAY: kissed juan on the main street to my house!!!

being with him all alone and just having fun helped realize how much i miss him...at marshall i couldn't stand that i had just about every class with him...i hope i won't get tired of being in his room at sam...and sleeping in his bed...and using his tub...and...lol...

lmao...while we were in the driveway at tampico...after getting tackled in his lap, i wrote him a "secret" message...now whenever he's feeling down in his car, he can just look up!!! lol...

interesting fact about juan: he owns the mozart CD, which i think is passable...and the best of all HE OWNS A TACO BELL HAT!!!

p.s. french fries with penis hands is a delight!!!

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH JUAN!!! THANKS FOR TODAY!!! YOU MADE MY DAY, AND MOST LIKELY WEEKEND!!! JUAN IS A VERY COOL FRIEND, our past just brings us together...

my niece GIANNA EZELLAH MUNOZ is here with me...

wenros — 2005-07-10T11:07:54-05:00

thus this being HER entry:

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.bye bye

LMAO!!! ROFL!!!

wenros — 2005-07-11T02:07:53-05:00

i doubt i'll ever get enough of juan!!!

I LOVE YOU JUAN, even if you question it at times...

ps. i had a little chat with invisble woman...ya were talking about me??? what you say??? lol...

MUAH!!!

johnny

blah, it's thunder outside...i'ma turn off computer to not get burned out...

the anger that is built inside me...

wenros — 2005-07-12T02:07:35-05:00

it makes me mad that all these people on here are having amazing sex!!! well not really, but i tend to get jealous at times...lol...

i guess what makes me mad is how they help remind how alone i am...how much i miss his touch...

i miss waking up to him...having him slide in bed with me...holding me...slowly running his fingers over my body...sending waves of emotions all over me...kissing softly on my cheek...letting his hands roam wherever they please...sliding his left arm under my head, and with his right hand caressing my thighs, making his way...

his warm hands on my stomach...lightly touching my navel...as i lay there on my back...i can feel his warm kisses starting at my neck...his hands unclasping my bra to reveal my breasts...nipples that are ready and awaiting his touch... his warm lips making their way throughout my body...

as i lay there, only he is on my mind...i don't care if we're caught...he sends a rush through my body...pulsating with every touch...as i open my eyes, i see him laying half next to me...smiling at my body, those eyes, i know what he wants...

he leans atop me...touching my face, leaning in to kiss me...those soft lips...his head disappears as he leads a chain of kisses down to my navel...slightly varying between kissing and licking above the panty line...the way he makes me want him...i feel his warm hands taking hold of my panties...the way he carefully slides them down, lifting my legs and slowly kissing them...resting them on his shoulders...he throws my panties to the floor, kisses my legs down to my thighs...looking at me with them tempting eyes...

his eyes are as warm as his touch...he pulls me down slowly towards him...slowly taking each leg into a hand and wrapping myself around him...his fingers slowly making their way up my legs...leaving a trail of lust and desire...his arms make their way under me, his hands, pulling me in...

i got mail!!!

wenros — 2005-07-13T09:07:33-05:00

my marine boyfriend wrote to me!!!

well he's really not my boyfriend...lol...we've known each other since, well from what i remember, since i was 4...we were in the same pre-k class...he used to have the hugest crush on me!!! lol...and his mother thought i was just oh-so-adorable with my long hair...so yeah...we went to the same elementary school, middle school, and high school...we've kept in touch off and on throughout our years...

senior year we had aguilar together...2nd period was FREAKEN AWESOME!!!

he tells people we're going to get married...i think i have a few of the guys that say i'll be their wife...it's all good...i love them all...

i remember how every 2nd period i would ask "are you sure you want to do this...blah blah blah blah blah..." he couldn't wait to get shipped out...he counted down his days...he was soo hyped to go to camp...and always he'd say "i'ma come back, knock on your door, and take you out to eat for dinner on a patio somewhere downtown"

that guy...i hate the reason he signed for the marines...and i hate her too...let's just say love can make you do some ABSURD things...he was so in love with her, she made some hint about a guy in uniform, and next thing you know he was talking to SGT. Carrizales...the fucked up part??? she won't even speak to him now...i'd so kick her ass!!!

so yeah...he hates it at camp...he can't wait to get out...he kinda regrets joining...

poor hun, i hope he makes it through...his back is messing up on him...i kept telling him, don't over work yourself, keep it steady...he's so into looking muscular...every time i just laugh at him, telling him he needs to work harder cause it's not showing ...lol...4-5 people held him down, and he pushed EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US OFF!!! and it wasn't little people either...

i'm just sooo freaken happy that he wrote to me!!!

if i can upload the pic right...that's him and i in my profile pic....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABE!!!

wenros — 2005-07-16T04:07:50-05:00

babe's b-day was *yesterday* the 15th!!! woo-hoo...he's 23 now!!! now i can say that proudly...lol...
i couldn't sleep last night from thinking about him...
i played my xmas cd over and over and over again...
i wanted to call him at 12, but i didn't know if jesse was with him or not...
so around 4 or so, i gave in, and went to sleep...

i woke at 11 and called him to wish him a happy b-day...he was already awake, and was standing in the shower...lol...we talked for a bit, and i told him i wouldn't be home from 12-3.45...he was like, ok, well johnny has the car, so i'm not sure if i'll go over...

at 12, i went with the center to Channel 11 for the Houston Food Bank...we helped package food into boxes for families, and we seperated crates of food that was donated...we came back to the center around 3.30 or so...i registered for some job at reliant...around 5 or so we came home...

got home and called babe...he didn't answer, so i left him a message...babe came home a while later...turns out he was at therapy...due to the accident, the lawyer is making johnny and babe go to therapy for 2 weeks...i dunno when johnny is getting the check cut, but i hope he gets a good amount...

we talked for a bit...and we ended up sharing fantasies and what-not...lmao...i just told him all the things i want to do to add to our sex life, and he's like "if that's what you want, and that excites you, then yes, i'll do it"...lmao...i love that guy...i confessed that i was uncomfortable at first with him...he was like "oh, no wonder..."...lol...we got over the uncomfy phase kinda quick i think...but it was only in the beginning...i guess when i saw he wasn't going anywhere, that's when i actually let it all out...lol...wow, our sex life has been in existance for 2 years and 10 months or so??? yeah cause i gave in like late september or so...lol...

after the whole future sex talk..lol...i got serious...i acknowledge that there is nothing between us at the moment...and i know someday it will completely end...i've learned to cope...but i want you to know something...once i leave this house for school, i will go on abstin or celib...i don't want to get back into this...it's too much for me...i'm not ready to move on, i don't want to hurt anyone, especially myself...i don't want to get so wasted i end up doing anyone else...lol...i haven't even got wasted to that point...{babe} just don't tell me ok...AWW!!! i love that no good...

i regret what i've done in the past...only 3 people know of my hurt: 1. fea, 2. juan medina, 3. manny... i cried so hard that first time...i didn't know what to do...i hated myself for it...but i haven't told babe...there are only 2 secrets that i've kept from babe: 1. my childhood villan, 2. my regrets...

our convo was cut short cause j was taking him to look at a car for johnny...

j came back and took me to cvs...i got a few things, and i got babe his gift...lol...he chose it...something interesting: walgreens has a better selection of condoms and ky jelly...babe thought it was funny that the sex stuff was next to "femenine products"...lmao...

on our way home...j was gonna drop me off to get sabo...then he says "you just want to get out of the house huh???" duh!!! lol...so we go get sabo from mcD's...lol...i bought babe his food, and he bought j's and mines...lol...

on the way we go to babe's apartment...he didn't even give me a tour of the place...it's nice though...he gave the private restroom to johnny...so that's good...we snuck into the closet for a bit...*memories* :) i was disturbed to walk in and find a pack of cigarettes, then walk into the closet and find another pack...then i smelled something familiar...i move a couple of things around and find what i expected...weed...he saw me and just smiled...this bitch...he takes a shower and i leave him and johnny a note...i miss my brother!!! i love my brother!!!

babe looked so dang sexy in his slacks!!! sadly he's not my property tonight!!! he's a free man til he comes home...after that he's all mine again...i think we're doing good for still being broken up...sabo got him in the closet and punched him a couple of times...lmao...after a couple of more last minute birthday kisses we left...

johnny came home...he was with some of the guys...and adrian...lol...i am doing his homework, which is due at the end of the month...lol...everyone loves him...yola calls him mijo...he's a great guy though...really great...

sabo was sitting in the back seat and says something about pads...lmao...i was like 'it's my bag and they're not pads, they're pantiliners, there's a difference'...lmao...it was quite funny to hear j say IT IS IMPORTANT TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE, cause once you get a girl and it's her time, you know what you can get away with by what she's using...lmao...my brother is awesome...even though he abuses me, he sticks up for me very well...

we dropped off sabo at his house and came home...babe and i started making out once we stepped into the house...lol...no quikie today...lmao...yesterday i was so scared of getting caught...it's really really rare that i get scared of getting caught...but i didn't want to risk anything...i kept bending over in my thong to tease him...lmao...i'm so evil to him, but he has his days as well...i love my babe...

as he lay on my bed i asked him about the weed and when he got back into it...i started to cry cause of some shit...he was scared...i could tell he wanted to cry from just looking at me...all he could say is "please vanessa stop crying, tell me please why are you crying"... we started talking and what-not...what bugged me about finding the weed in his closet is the fact that he didnt' tell me he started again, i was like "i thought we had an open relationship, why couldn't you tell me, why didn't you tell me, i know that you've smoked before, i know that you've snorted COCAINE, but you at least told me"...it's not so much that he does it, just that he fails to tell me...

i hate that he smokes and that he has 2 packs of cigarettes, 1 pack is passable, but 2, what the fuck...i guess it just bugs me cause all i can think of is how dad used to go through packs as if they were some sort of candy bar...jc was hooked on them as well...and i was in the hospital and couldn't be around the smoke...i can stand it when it's like misty or what-not, but when it's direct smoke, i can feel my lungs tightening...and oh no...

as i stood hugging him...and kissing him...nothing goes through my mind...just how good this feels...

he was walking out the house when i realized he was still wearing his ecko's lol...i saw j walk out, so i stood by my door... babe had gone to the back room to change his shoes...lol...silly him...on his way back i took one last good look at him...man!!! yummy!!! i looked at him straight in the eye "babe, please be open with me, that's all i ask"... those next few kisses seemed to make the whole day worth while!!! 'i think my dad saw us' and as quick as those words were out of my mouth, i felt his warm lips kissing me!!! he asked for a few more happy birthday's....so there i was, standing at my door way, wishing him a happy birthday and to be careful, flashing him!!!...lol...one more kiss and he was gone out the door...

i've been sitting here in his sweater...the whole way home, i could only think about the endless things we could do in his apartment and in the balcony!!! waking up, walking around in only his dress shirt, or his comfy sweaters...

i love our open relationship...and how when we actually sit and talk, we have good long convos...

he's good at respecting whatever i say...as long as he was actually paying attention...

i love his sensitive side!!!

"i tear my heart open"....

i guess i like to see my own blood...to see my wounds open day after day...i think they're closing, but if i look closely, i can see the blood seeping through...will i ever learn from this???

i was talking to filibert about how i am changing for the better for myself and others *babe*...after years of struggles, i have managed to accomplish something... all he could say was "dont hope..." i found that funny, cause it was true...

i don't know what's going to happen between babe and i...as we were talking about all the things i want to do with him he says "i'm glad you feel comfortable to do these things with me...we will do them" the whole time with a smile on his face...moments like these are reasons i love him... like i told him "you respect me, and i know you won't hurt me"...

days gone and new ones to fill...

wenros — 2005-07-18T02:07:54-05:00

saturday was quite entertaining...

babe came home...so we were able to spend a lot of time together...we talked in the kitchen about more stuff and about some female he forgot to mention...that dumbass...

babe had therapy and adrian had gone for them...thus them coming home...we ate breakfast and then yola came...she handed me my key!!! i was like, COOL!!! no one wanted to believe me that she had given me her car....yola and agustin were gonna eat, so babe, rudy, gianna and i went to the meat market to get some more meat and some cokes...babe was the passenger...lol...sucker!!!

my mind is kinda fuzzy...

as i was in my room jesse says to get some change cause we're going to vaccum MY car...lol...that's funny i didn't think i would ever get a car...i think cause i'm subconsciously scared of driving...shhh...lol...so yeah...we go and do our thing...while at it, jesse gives me another college talk...but this was fun and entertaining...so i was like cool...

as i pulled up to the curb, he was like, "ok, you're gonna learn to park it in the driveway" AGH!!! i was freaken scared...my driveway is hard to get into...or so i think...my dad even puts the dodge 15 passenger van in REVERSE!!! i missed the driveway...lmao...so i go into the neighbors instead...i was supposed to reverse...ok, for some reason i went straight and i got stuck...i so wished some huge muscle man was there to say, it's ok, i'll move the car for you... so i reversed it and kinda got it straight...somehow the car went forward...jesse was screaming "BRAKE BRAKE PRESS THE BRAKE"...then KABOOM!!! i go into the gate...lmao...my first instinct was to laugh...i turned the wheel somehow, so the gate post was stuck between the tire and the mirror... jesse was mad, but he just got out and got into my seat...i got out of the car and held the gate...the little kid came out and said "what happened???" he's prolly 8 or something and he says "don't tell me, she went forward and couldn't find the brake?" lmao...jesse reversed the car and got it straight...the gomez were on their porch drinking watching the entertainment, and scooby and some other guy were behind us... they were giving me pointers...lmao...

after a few tries, i finally reversed the car out of their driveway...and into mines...it only left a minor scratch...but the door wouldn't open all the way...the hinge is prolly stuck...but it's ok...

we watched the fight yesterday...after that we went to make some french toast...yay babe learned how to cook!!! lol...somehow babe made a comment and i said "at least I have a car"...jesse bust out laughing and tells him the incident...lmao...we all laughed about it...

we started watching GARDEN STATE in the back room...i feel asleep like 20 or so minutes into it...then all of a sudden i hear people laughing and something hit my face...babe and jesse were laughing at the fact that i slept through the movie...it's not that it sucked, i was just tired...i went to sleep once i saw babe was asleep on his bed...

this morning i was waken up by someone pulling me down the bed and opening my legs...needless to say, it was babe...lmao...morning sex is AWESOME!!! i miss him and it... we did our thing and he made me put clothes on afterwards...lol...that dumbass was like "ok, well i'ma go back to sleep now, thank you"...lmao...i made him stay and watch tv with me... we stayed in bed til about 12 or 1...we're bums...but i like it...

jesse called us to eat...then afterwards that fucker left me on my bed...luckily adrian had just got here...he lifted the mattress for me while i put the underskirt on the bed...babe left home cause he had to wash...it's all good, i got what i wanted...lol...

i feel asleep as the guys were looking at that cpixel crap...tsk tsk...guys...when i woke up, i looked outside and babe was there talking to his aunt and my mom...his aunt is so sweet...she likes me very much...i made a good impression on her when i was in the church group...so she backed me up when she found out about babe and i...

turns out babe was here while i was asleep...so yeah, i got in trouble for sleeping...lmao...we bummed out for a little...then adrian came back...he just sat on my bed...and i layed there next to him...lmao...adrian is awesome...according to coressa and gianna, adrian is my boyfriend...lmao...he doesn't mind me calling him that either...he's just one cool guy!!!

around 8 or so johnny and babe left cause they had to go home and shower...i think johnny is getting the insurance check sometime this week...i hope babe gets some money too...cause i really need it...lol...

i love babe...i hate what's happened...but i love him and i've learned to accept...i think our relationship is good at the moment...we've been missing each other lately...so we spend time as much as possible... as long as we stay good friends, i think we'll pull through...

well now that i have my car...i need to get my license...that's my mission for early august...

it's only taken me 2 hours to do adrian's homework...i should be done by tomorrow...then i start on govmnt...lmao...earlier i was starting to sleep and he screams through my door waking me...he thought it was funny..."you think it's funny, let's see who's gonna do your homework"...lmao...he did the cutest PLEASE face!!! lmao...boys...tsk tsk...

i have no idea where my life is going now...i REALLY REALLY don't want to go to school...but like babe said i have to cause it's just not as easy for me to get a decent job without some college...i hope i don't have another breakdown this year...that would SO suck ass bad!!

i am in mourn...

wenros — 2005-07-19T09:07:03-05:00

after what happened today...i am in no mood to blog about yesterday...

i was in the living room trying to get a docs appointment for some vaccines i need for school...as i was on hold, daniel runs up to me and says "tia, your fish is dead"...i'm like "stop playing, that's not funny" {daniel} "no, i'm serious, come look, he's going in circles"...

i hang up the phone...run to my room and there he is...Mr. Nibbles II is going in circles, and just as i am telling Juice to get the bowel, he sinks to the bottom...we run to the restroom and i turn on the faucet...i place the bowel in the sink...but it's not use...he is dead...i stuck my hand in and tried to squish him a bit to get some water in the lungs, it was no use...he just lays there in my hand...

i cried so hard!!! i just sat there on the toilet with my hand in the bowel crying my little heart out for half an hour...Juice started crying...i don't know what happened...his bowel was kinda dirty, but he's been through worse water...i had just fed him, there was still a drop of food in the bowel...the whole time i was calling babe...i called him like 20 times or so...then i left like 5 messages...i finally paged him and gave up calling him...

i love my fish sooo much!!! he was a xmas present from babe...funny thing, the fish was a year and 7 months...babe and i lasted a year and 7 months...when babe and i broke up he was saying "it would be freaky if the fish lasts as long as we did, it's a symbol of love"...and look...

babe finally called and i cried even more...he's like "baby, what's wrong, why are you crying? please baby, tell me what's wrong"....i so wanted him here to hold me...he was the one to tell me that Baby passed away as well... i told him what happened and he gave me his condolences...he was so supportive "it's ok, we'll get you something better next time, i promise, i'll get you something before you leave"...

i brought Mr. Nibbles II back into my room and i cried somemore...he looked so peaceful laying among his orange rocks...i layed some napkins in my kleenex box, and layed a layer of orange rocks...i wrote on his bowel "Mr. Nibbles II 12-25-03 -- 07-19-05" and took some pix of him...then i layed him in his box...i wrote a little note of nice things and layed the note in the box as well...i dropped in some drops of his food...then i taped up the box...

the whole time, my nieces and nephews were giving me condolences and saying nice things about him...they took turns hugging me and paying respect to my fish...my parents saw how attached to the fish i was and my mother brought me 4 flowers: 2 pink, 2 red...my dad brought me a different red flower as well...

we went outside and i was the first to break the ground...Juice helped dig a hole big enough for his box...we all said one more nice thing about the fish, and i layed him in the ground...we threw in some flowers and then covered him up...

i layed the 2 flowers on top of the burial site...

i have already washed out for the last time his fish bowel, and i scrubbed all his toys...i layed out the rocks on a towel...now that everything is dried, i am going to box it all...putting it up in the top shelves of my closet, and touching none of it...

my beloved fish Mr. Nibbles II passed away at 11.30 a.m.

i am going to miss him very much...he was to go to college with me...i already had his travel case so he could be comfy on the road...

Gianna said she was going to get me a new fish...she's only 4, she really doesn't know the concept of death...Coressa however, does know the concept of going to heaven, she was there when my grandmother passed away, and when her grandfather Carl passed away as well, she's 5...

Daniel, Jacob and Kimmy were telling me their losses so i could know that they felt my pain as well...little kids are so cute!!!

i dunno what happened...i guess it was God's turn to have a pet fish...i guess my pet dog {Baby Silva} wasn't enough for him, or Baby prolly wanted someone to play with...

i miss my fish, it's time for his supper...

late night packing...

wenros — 2005-07-21T01:07:36-05:00

i haven't finished packing my stuff for orientation...

i leave at 6 in the freaken morning...i should be home friday around 3-4...

i called babe today, we had one of the funniest convo's...lmao...it was hilarous to talk about others peeps hot bodies and then play it off...lmao...i love that dumbass...he couldn't come home today, so therefor i don't have money...i find it funny how i ask for it and all he says is "how much?" awww...that's love...lol...

i hope i don't leave anything behind...luckily it's only an hour away...

home sweet home...

wenros — 2005-07-22T11:07:50-05:00

orientation was quite fun, but it was quite exhausting as well...

got home around 5, with traffic and heavy rain, it took 2 hours to get home, instead of the usual 1...but it was fun...daniel picked me up cause he came home early from work...he brought the kids...lol...evil little rugrats...

got home, got out of my wet jeans and went to sleep...

just finished having and hour long convo with babe...i didn't miss him, i was just moody cause i'm sooo used to talking to him everyday, even if all i say is goodnight or "what the fuck, where are you at???"...lol...he doesn't feel to good, so that's why he didn't come over...

i'ma go eat some much needed gorditas mother made, then taking out the contacts and going to sleep...

NEED REST!!!

weird dream...

wenros — 2005-07-25T03:07:33-05:00

ok, for some reason i dreamt about ADRIAN last night...
and man, was it a good one...
we were doing all sorts of bad things...then somehow babe came into the dream as well...

i woke up and the first thing that came to mind was to call babe and ask if he was going to come over...

i turned towards the window and saw the guys walking by, apparently they were here already...lol...

i got my things and jumped in the shower, it was 2.40 already, so i figured, might as well take a shower now...

the guys washed their cars...and then milton drove by...for some reasons these guys take out the guns they have in their trunks...dang these drug dealers...these guys are LOADED where ever they go...their house is monitered, and they have shot guns and god knows what else lying around their house...it's legal though, the guns are registered, and they have their CHL, or whatever it's called...

babe and i got into a little something cause of some fucked up shit he said...that fucker...why doesn't he learn...well the real question that should be asked, is why don't I learn??? i guess i'm the real dumbass...

babe and i fooled around for a bit in the back room after our little argument...i love to tease AND please him...i love to do naughty things knowing someone can walk in...we got away with it for a bit, then i walked out cause i had to do some things...his tongue on my nipples drives me crazy!!!

adrian put his car back in and put in mines afterwards...lmao...he's so cute...i helped him put the cloth thing over his "baby"...lmao...he has a BEAUTIFUL candy red *fucken shit, i forgot what the make is...lol...* as we were walking up the steps i told him to pick up his shorts cause i could see his boxers...lmao...as he grabbed the door handle, i reached down towards his crotch and pulled down his shorts!!! LMAO!!! that was freaken hilarous!!!

some time before that we were in my room, and i was doing everything for him...lol...i felt the chair wet, and me the dumbass asked "are you wet?" lmao...his intelligent reply "of course, i saw you"...my "non-sexual" comeback "good, that makes 2 of us"...i wonder if it would be different between us if he didn't go to prom with me...

as he was leaving, he was carrying johnny's basket, so i "helpfully" opened the door...he said something about getting me back next time, and i whispered something like "oh, you can get anything you want"...lmao...little did i know BABE was walking behind him...but i doubt he heard...

adrian has some VERY PLUMP, LUSCIOUS LIPS!!! they drive me crazy...they are warm and gentle...but they can be naughty... i find myself craving them at times... but i need to stop...we were a one time thing... and i can't keep getting myself into these situations... but when we're alone in my room, i have to keep myself busy from wanting to start something...

i feel like telling BABE that i tend to have feelings at times for ADRIAN, but it's not that i like him...if i do tell him, we might get even...but then again, i don't want him asking any questions, cause i can't tell him the whole true story...blah i'll just keep shut, cause i don't want to ruin anything...i made a promise to babe, and i broke that promise, i don't know if i regret it, but it hurts at times...what makes this situation worse, is that ADRIAN moved in with BABE and johnny...so if i was to tell BaBe, i dunno how he would react towards adrian...then again, i want to be open to adrian, and tell him how i feel...i know nothing can happen between us, but i dunno...fuck, why did i have to get myself involved with him!!!

shit like this makes me hate myself...

dang it, where is MANNY WHEN I NEED HIM!!! i think manny is in seattle...or somewhere up north...hope he is doing fine...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i dunno what is wrong with me...i cried for an hour yesterday cause of some stupid furniture...i seriously need to tell my doctor...after i cry, i just fall asleep...i also punched my chair, so my right hand hurts...and my thighs are sore cause i was punching myself...i didn't even realize i was hitting myself til i saw my hand going into the air a few times...lmao...i didn't feel the hits, so i guess that's why i kept doing it...i dunno what in the world is wrong with me...it's the little things that get to me...i don't want to tell my doctor that i've hurt myself before, she'll prolly tell my parents, and oh no, that's something i don't want to get into...there is no way of me telling her about babe and i...cause i know he can catch a case, and my parents can't ever find out about him...i called babe while i was crying and all he could say was "calm down, stop crying, you'll be out of there in a month"...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
later that day, i called babe...turns out he didn't answer his phone cause was alone in his apartment with the bitch making his bed...he thinks she's cute...and she's still not back with her guy...according to him her feelings towards him are "if it happens it happens"... i was like "i give up, babe, you know i love you...but apparently i'm not the one who makes you happy, she is...she's the one to make you smile, she's the one that makes you feel like a couple, she's the one you want to be with...you're happy when she's around you...you want to hold her, you want her to be yours...so you know what, i wish you the best of luck...i need to know, should i back down, cause seriously, there is no point in me still trying to make you happy when she already is"... his reply " " so i just laughed at his dumbass and said "babe, i hate you soo much, you know that" babe-"yeah, i know"...lmao... i love that dumbass...no matter what he does or says, he'll always be my babe...i guess it's just that we've learned a lot from each other, and deep down inside we still care about each other...even though we're broken up, the love and care and all those emotions are still there...he just hides them better than i do...i haven't found someone that makes me want to leave babe... i just don't want to get back into the whole relationship thing...it's fine with babe, just cause i know he treats me good...i dunno...i'm comfortable with him...if he finds someone, which he most likely will, then we'll just stop having sex...it's all good...i love him, and i want to see him happy...even if it kills me...but that's why we're broken up...to see other people...i think...lol...i am not going to let myself get into a relationship for about another year or so...it would just hurt too much...i don't even ask him if he thinks if we'll get back together, i tell him we're not going to get back together...i've accepted things now...so i guess i have improved on myself...i've always accepted that we were seperated, but there was that *cough* year *cough* that i thought we would get back together...it's been a year since we've broken up, so the chances of getting back together anytime soon is very miniscule...if we do get back together, it'll probably be in my last years of college, or after i graduate...i love and hate him...he's my best friend and my enemy...i dunno if he's the one...maybe he's not...most likely he's not...he's not even Mr. Right Now...lol...he tears my heart to little pieces...he controls my feelings, my anger, my love...he says "quit your shit, come here, sit next to me, look at me" and all those other words people would consider abusive...but it's all good...we have an understanding, and i'd rather him tell me "quit your shit" than me going off at him and both of us being mad...he knows how to calm me down, and i need to learn how to calm myself down..."like i've said before, i'd rather you tell me what you're doing, and have me be mad for a few minutes, than hiding it from me and make a huge bigger scene than what it has to be"...
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

wow, funny thing...all i had to do was close my legs and he and i wouldn't be what we are today...if i would've said "no, let's not have sex"...i doubt we would've been anything...our frienship would've grown, and we would've eventually led into sex, but after we were together, as a couple...i don't regret having sex with him that first time, i'm just mad at myself for allowing it to happen so soon...i enjoy sex with him, and i can't wait for us to do more things to add more sex!!! i love sex, i love him...i love the sex he gives...i think i give good sex...well from his reactions, yup...lol...i would love to get a place with him, just to have lots of sex!!! lol...if he and i ever got a place to call our own, i would really need to get some sort of B.C or start to use condoms...lol...

(how can i ask for help, without telling someone my past, or the things i've done???)

privacy act...

wenros — 2005-07-25T03:07:30-05:00

the other day, i had left a reply window up...

dad and jesse were in my room...what i failed to realize until a bit later, is that jesse was reading what was on the monitor...

i dunno if he was aware that this is mindsay.com, but i think he now knows that my username is wenros...

now i am going back to EVERY SINGLE ENTRY and making it classmate and online contacts only...

this sucks...at first i was in a privacy act cause one of my closest friend, who i consider at times my boyfriend *without telling him of course* johnny is on here...and i don't want him to get hurt or offended by any of the things i did in the past...so i wouldn't write what i really wanted to let out...

and now, now that my brother might know about this, it EXTREMELY SUCKS ASS!!!

i hate hiding stuff from people, but apparently, it's something i am good at...

fuck privacy act!!!

wenros — 2005-07-26T11:07:22-05:00

so yeah...yesterday i had ANOTHER doc's appointment...

mother made the appointment for me while i was at orientation...i got mad at her, but in the inside i was thankful...i get that from dad...i just HATE going to the doctor...when i was younger, i had to get hospitalized for stupid stuff, and most of my 1st and 2nd grade was at the doc's office...i also got a huge fright of needles...i would always have to give blood for tests and what-not, but my veins were hard to find...i would come home crying with bruised arms cause the stupid people couldn't find my veins...my mother always had to calm me down cause i would break out in tears and stop breathing for a bit...then one day GOD said, "vanessa, i'm tired of making you cry, here go with this man, he does good work"...so i did, and at his first try, Raul found my vein...from that day i wouldn't dare go to the doc's unless i knew Raul was there...

so yeah, went to the doc's and waited for my turn...no paperwork or anything...lol...the nurse did my pressure and weighed me *woo-hoo* i gained like 4 lbs, so i am now 109 1/4...i knew i was getting tubby...lol...at first they were like "and what brings you here today??" i had no idea, i thought it was just a check up, but apparently my mother told them that i complain too much about my back...lmao...i was like "oh yeah, now i know why i'm here"...lmao...

Melissa and i talked for a bit about college and all that other good stuff...i told her what was wrong and she was like "ok, i'ma send you to get X-rays, and we're gonna need a blood sample" AGH!!! i just froze for a bit, i looked around, and realized, I LEFT MY MOTHER AT HOME!!! i told her about my moods lately, and she was like "i can't tell you whether it's a problem or not, unless YOU think it's a problem"...then she said the way i deal with my stress and all that other good stuff is normal for my "condition"...lmao...so i got a number for some center that i could call to see if i may need to go in for a visit...

i sat next to the nurse who was getting the tubes ready...i started shaking a bit...i took deep breathes and started to converse with the nurse, then i saw the needle... AGH!!! the nurse was like "keep talking to me, keep talking, breathe, it's only going to sting a little" then she did it!!! i winced a bit, BUT I DIDN'T CRY!!! woo-hoo me, in my 18 years, i did not cry!!! then she says "breathe breathe, i need you to breathe"...apparently i managed to get my blood to STOP...turns out they don't take blood that stops and then continues...so the nurse gets a surenge and sticks it in me, she's like "i don't want to stick you again, so i'ma just draw it out of you"...i started to feel lightheaded then after a bit it was over...i got a coke to calm me down and to get some sugar back into my system...

came home telling mother the horrible things the doc did to me...lol...i'm such a wein-e!!!

called babe later that day, after therapy...left him a message and told him to call back...awww...he did as he was told...lol...i told him about the docs visit and added a twist to it...the horribly funny convo went like this:

{me}they had to get blood...
{babe} oh for real???
{me} yeah, for pregnancy test...
{babe} huh??? why??? i thought you had your period already???
{me} ummm...i kinda lied to you, i missed...i'm a month and a few weeks behind...
{babe} you're playing right??
{me} i just didn't want to tell you, i didn't want you to get scared...besides i wasn't sure either...
*dead silence*
{babe} *serious low tone* baby, promise promise me you missed...
{me} do you think i would let us get pregnant now???
{babe} that was not funny, don't ever do that again...
{me} *laughing inside* were you scared, how did you feel??
{babe} remember that time, i crashed, and you walked into the room, and i was laying on the bed complaining and hurt, and you were so worried about me, you stood next to the bed???
{me} yeah, and then you tell me that you're just kidding...
{babe} well that's how i felt...
{me} ok, i'm sorry, but we're even now!!!

lmao...i'm so mean, but that fucker had it coming...i was so fucking scared when i came home that day, my mother was sitting on the porch, all she said was "have you talked to eduardo, he got in a car accident"...his car was missing from the dirveway, and he didn't answer my calls earlier that day...i was so fucking scared...my heart stopped for a bit...i threw my stuff on my bed and hurried to the back room to see johnny was at least there...i got to the room and johnny was sitting next to babe's bed...babe was in a slingy and looked hurt...he had some bandaid patches on his face as well...i hurried next to his side and teary eyed i asked if he was fine and what happened, i hugged and kissed him and told him i would do anything for him...i hear my brother laughing and then babe gets up...it was all a CRUEL JOKE!!! that fucker had gotten into a finder bender, but had the car sent to the shop immediately cause the chick was paying for the damages...

we're so evil to each other...lmao...we deserve it...omgosh, the last scare he had was funny...i left him a message on his phone to tell him i started...apparently i was whispering tooo low and all he heard was "i'm pregnant" , instead of "i'm NOT pregnant"...the funny part, he got the message at work during his lunch break...lmao...he later told me that he made himself listen to the message like 5 times to make sure he heard correct...lmao...the first thing that came to mind was "i hope it's a boy...wait, what am i saying???" lmao...

i won't ever forget our first "let's have kids" talk...since that day i trusted myself to not use condoms or anything with him...love equals to absurd actions...lol...

today i got a call like at 10.30 saying i could go in for my x-rays at 11...i took a shower and got my referral papers...then i drove mother to the clinic...it was weird to drive my mother, she doesn't have her license, but she drives...she was giving me pointers...i love my mom!!! i asked her why she doesn't have a license and she told me her story :my mother signed up for driving classes, she had passed everything, but the day she was to take her picture, my dad was home...she couldn't think of an excuse to leave the house...so she never got her license...my dad wouldn't let her do her own things, he would beat her or what-not...we could've had so much, and now look at the endless tunnel we're in...

i walked in and saw yola!!! she was like "hey wessa, what you doing here??" 'came to get x-rays' "oh cool, i'll walk with you"...so we go to the x-ray room thingy and she tells the guy "hey _____ i brought you my little sister"... he gets my papers and is like "ok, well let's get you changed, here are your gowns"...i saw bye to my sis and change...

the x-rays were fun...i got more this time than the last time i went...i think about 7 or so...lol...

and now i just wait...i doubt anything is wrong with me, i'm always in denial...i might just get physical therapy when i get to sam or something...i should've gotten surgery...i think i'ma ask for surgery for next summer..."cosmetic surgery"...lol...cause i don't want to be on bed rest by the time i get to school...

LIFE SUCKS!!!

weird day...

wenros — 2005-07-28T02:07:03-05:00

i was awaken at 8 freaken 30 by mother...apparently i had a phone call...my mother only wakes me when stuff is actually important...she's the reason i get away with taking 4-14 hour naps...lol...

Dr. Strauss was returning my call...and guess what??? i got accepted for BLC!!! so now i have to get RE-advised by one of the Doc's there...so that way i can change my schedule to fit their requirements...i might have PETE as my RA!!! i might not...lol...i don't care how they change my schedule, as long as i STAY WITH JUAN!!! i'm gonna request for them to not mess with my history class...

*"roger" callmeroger is an EVIL PERSON!!! he does mean things over I-M...GRRRR "Roger" !!! *

took care of the kids while mom did some errands...

grrr, i have to go tinkle really bad...i must finish this later, for my sanity...lol...

GRRR DUANE!!! OOPS.... GRRRR ROGERRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! you evil little person!!! you and your computer are nothing but mischief!!!

hmm...what to say...what to say...bad habit...

wenros — 2005-07-28T03:07:45-05:00

Every time I think of you
I get a shot right through
Into a bolt of blue
It's no problem of mine
But it's a problem I find
Living the life that I can't leave behind
There's no sense in telling me
The wisdom of a fool won't set you free
But that's the way that it goes
And it's what nobody knows
And every day my confusion grows
Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for the final moment
You say the words that I can't say

I feel fine and I feel good
I feel like I never should
Whenever I get this way
I just don't know what to say
Why can't we be ourselves like we were yesterday
I'm not sure what this could mean
I don't think you're what you seem
I do admit to myself
That if I hurt someone else
Then I'll never see just what we're meant to be
Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for the final moment
You'll say the words that I can't say
Every time I see you falling
I'll get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for the final moment
You'll say the words that I can't say

yahoo messenger RULES!!!

wenros — 2005-07-29T01:07:50-05:00

woo-hoo...i'm so freaken happy!!! yay!!!

today is happy day!!! well at least for the remaining 10 minutes...

yesterday or so i logged into Yim and found a message from JUAN!!! yay!!!

he's my awesome bud from high school...wow, i really missed that guy...he's been up and about, so we haven't been able to talk much...and he finally got his computer fixed or what-not...so now we can have endless convos on Yim!!!

we caught up on some things...his 18th b-day is coming up...and i want to do am going to do something special for him...we might go out and just bum around...just the 2 of us!!! woo-hoo!!! awesome-ness!!! i think i might cook him some nuggets..lol...we told each other secrets!!! lol...i really missed him...el sabe muchas de mis penas y razones por llorar...estoy tan alegre a saber que esta bien...we just talked for about 2 hours...

friends like him bring life to high school....and to think we went to the same middle school...

woo-hoo!!!

wenros — 2005-07-29T10:07:01-05:00

my man is home!!!

yay JUAN!!!

johnny

i missed you hun!!!

counting down the days??? i am!!!

busy weekend...

wenros — 2005-08-01T02:08:10-05:00

i am so FREAKEN tired...i must get some rest!!!

goodnight all!!!

too tired to do anything...

wenros — 2005-08-02T01:08:15-05:00

i am so freaken tired...

did more cleaning today...

i so need to write about my awesome weekend!!! loved it from the beginning to the end!!!

i am emotionally tired, just as physical...

i think i'm still kinda hurt for some weird reason, but i dunno...i love him, and it's just weird...i have 20 days to be with him...i dunno how i am going to do it...i am so happy calling him at least once a day to see how his day is going, or just to say, "hey, i love you"...

lmao...i did a blooper today...called babe and i was like "hey i got some more panties" he replies with a guy-friend tone "oh , i'm here with johnny playing games" i was like, ok, well you're busy, call me later or whatever...apparently the volume was high on his celly, so i think my brother heard me telling babe about the panties...babe tried to lower the volume, but johnny caught him, then he asked who it was...AGH!!! i was embarrased in a weird way..."fine then baby, i won't call you anymore" i replied in my "fine-then-have-your-way-childish-puppy face voice" i could tell he was smiling and thought i was cute "no, baby, don't say that, you can keep calling me, i'll just be careful that i have no one around when you call"...the guys were calling him, so we had to hang up...LMAO!!! i love my dumbass!!! no matter what happens between us, he knows how i feel about him...

we talked for like an hour or so today...got kinda bumpy, so i dunno...my heart still hurts a bit, but it's all good...it's common relationship hurt...i gotta call him to say goodnight...

and to all a goodnight!!!

girls night out...

wenros — 2005-08-03T01:08:24-05:00

LMAO!!! what a night...

even though it was only for like 3 hours, it was an amazing 3 hours!!!

roxy picked me up, i was all sweaty and had no time to shower...so did a few things and changed into some jeans and my muscle shirt...mother forgot to dry my clothes!!! it's all good though...she picked me up and we headed out to Bayou City Wings...

the girls were already there, so yeah...

the first person i see when i walk in is HER!!! the love of my 6 years...lol...then i see carmina, and we run to each other and hug til there is no air between...we were about to cry!!! we hadn't seen each other since graduation!!! esperanza was just looking at us...i went over and gave all the girls a kiss, and walked up to her and shook her hand...

joe was there!!! woo-hoo, and so was dang it, i can't remember his name...but he was there too...lol...joe came up to me and we hugged like crazy too!!! lol...just remembered it, SPANKY is the name...lol...

they already had our table, pJay called and said we were on our way...awesome!!! oh yeah, apparently Pjay is about 5 months!!! i couldn't believe it!!! but yeah, congrats to her!!!

lmao...pJay took our drink order cause she was thirsty...luckily she works there, so it was ok for her to walk to the kitchen and give them a slip of paper...LOL!!!

we ordered our food and caught up on things...a LOT of things...we started to talk about friends, friends pregnant, who is with who, who didn't make it, couples of middle school...lmao...we talked about juan and i !!! LOL!!! man we talked about everything...

the topic of sex came up...and guess who went first??? me!!! lol...we went around the table and said our last time...me: Saturday, Erica: None, Roxy: a Year this month, Fea: about 2 Months, PJay: about 2 weeks and something days, Danielle: a Year this month as well, Farrah: about 2 Weeks...LMAO!!! why must i always be the freak one??? lol...everyone just laughed, but they all know i enjoy sex very much, and my man pleases, so it's all good...plus, i used to get it about 3-4 times a day, now i get it about that much in a week...so i think i am doing good...lol...

erica and i played a game of air hockey...i lost my pen...later i found out it fell in the goal thingy...lmao...so if anyone ever goes to the Bayou City Wings on 45 and Tidwell sometime this month, don't play the air hockey game!!! lol....the thing is stuck!!! lol...

we talked about more stuff and we were pretty loud...throughout our convos PJay was texting BöB!!! they were playing a game to guess who PJay was...lmao!!! the hints were hilarous..."you like giving me hugs" "i see you in the hallway" "i want to get naked with you" "you scream my name out" "you always said i had a nice booty" lmao...after about an hour or so she finally gave her last clue "my name starts with a P and ends with a J" lmao...!!!

spending time with the girls was sooo freaken awesome...fea and i still have to go out on a private date...so i hope we can do that before i leave to school...

we split the ticket into whoever ate from that plate...our side of the table was 3.50 each...lol....

the girls were trying to make plans to do stuff afterwards, but i and erica needed to go home, so the plan was for fea to follow roxy (us)...lol...

so as we were driving down tidwell, i see something from the corner of my eye, we all look...DANIELLE IS FLASHING US!!! lmao!!! we bust out laughing...and keep driving...

we pass by moody park and the parking lot is empty...i tell roxy she should've pulled in and drove around....it was too late to go in, so we wait for the next one...she slows down and pulls in without her signal...lmao!!! we drive around the parking lot with Fea following us!!! lmao!!! as we were coming out, some blue car was going in...LMAO!!!

we get to the first light, and i get the ideas rolling out...so i'm like "let's car dance"...the light turned green, so i was like "how about at the next one, we get out and switch seats"...lmao...we got to the 2nd light, and it was green...we stopped either way... then Pjay, Erica and i get out of our seats...Pjay comes to my seat, i go to erica's and Erica jumps to the front seat...lmao!!! we could hear fea, danielle and farrah laughing...

roxy pulls in to erica's house and Pjay and i stay put...we get to the light and i tell pjay for us to do something...so i get the crazy idea and we get to the last stop sign...it's now or never!!!

so pjay and i are in the backseat...pjay gets out of her side, and i meet her in the back at the trunk....she pulls down her pants and i pull up my shirt!!! LMFAO!!! i only caught a glimpse of the girls faces...they were mouths open!!! LMAO!!! they got to see pjay's ass and my tits!!! lmao!!! i jump to the front seat and she goes to the back right passenger...

as we turn on the curb, i realize we just mooned and flashed INFRONT OF MY CHURCH!!!

we pull up to my house and i'm like "pjay i love you" she's like "i love you too vane, you're down for anything, you're crazy"

as we get out, i hear danielle say "man, ya win, ya got us with that one" SCORE!!! one for Pjay and Vane!!! woo-hoo!!! i give them their kisses goodnight, and just say night to fea...

i unlock my gate, and walk into my house...as i turn on my light, i see the girls are still outside...i wanted to put on a little show for them cause i haven't put my blinds back on...but i didn't want the neighbors to see my goodies...

i love my bay window, if only i could put it to use!!! lol....

they stayed outside my house for a bit to make their plans, then they were off...

i love my gals!!! i'm so glad we're comfortable with each other...we can talk about ANYTHING!!!

bone to pick...

wenros — 2005-08-03T03:08:39-05:00

so many thoughts are going through my head...
i don't know what to think...
i thought we had things settled, but apparently it wasn't mutual...

you make me want to cut myself, just to see myself bleeding...
wondering is this really happening...

i am tired of explaining myself...
tired of trying to make people see...

it's never been easy being in my shoes...
is there anyone with the same size???

life is so fucking hard and weird...
i thought you could help me glue the pieces together...

but in reality, you're helping mix the puzzle,
and right when i think i solved it...

i used to come to you,
cry to you,
i wonder if it's still safe...

you have a copy of the key,
but should i change the lock...

i want to make it safer for me,
to be able to hide in my little box,
just like before,
not caring about what anyone said or thought...

if blood means existence,
should i prove that i still live???

let the color of love pour out of me,
leaving my body,
like the feelings i have for you???

help me...i don't know what to do...

reality check...pt. I...

wenros — 2005-08-07T04:08:44-05:00

tonight was such a weird night...i was happy, having fun, emotional bonding time, goofing off, flirting, and lastly crying...

what the hell is going on...

i hope everything is ok, i'm just worried that stupid stuff might've been said...

i need to sleep...i've been up since about 7.30 saturday morning, and with no nap...

goodnight world...let's pray for a better tomorrow...

*continued*

wenros — 2005-08-07T11:08:59-05:00

so apparently last night wasn't over when i thought it was...

i heard some noise, then went to the back room...

stayed with babe and jesse for a while...

my night ended around 5 am, and started up again this morning when i heard's babe's voice...

my weekend is AWESOME!!! much things have gone on!!! but all-in-all it was AWESOME!!!

spent the whole weekend with my AWESOME college GRAD BIG BROTHER jesse

GRADUATES!!! 2005!!!

wenros — 2005-08-10T01:08:58-05:00

so yeah...i called babe today...during his lunch and it totally slipped my mind to tell him about tonight...we talked for a bit, then i called him again at his 2 oclock break...it's so hard to want to tell him something, without breaking his brothers trust...i led into it slowly like, "what do you think about your brother, have you accepted him"..."what if you knew someone was trying to hurt him, what would you do"..."how's ernie, have you talked to him, ask him too, not just erica"...after some self-frustration, i was like "i don't know how to tell you, without breaking your little brothers trust, but your sisters guy tried to make a move on him"...i explained what happened, and he got mad, 1 cause that would've been proof to put him in jail away from the kids, 2 because if he was trying to harrass pollo, he could do it to ernie too, and 3 because his little brother should've said something...he was like "i'd beat his ass...if i hear too many of these things i am going to just snap one day"...now they really want to burn the guys dick off...erica hasn't been able to talk to babe as much, supposivly the guy gets mad at her cause she calls babe...i hope all goes well and no harm is done to the kids...i really hate babe's sister...how can she let the man that her DAUGHTER said molested her LIVE IN THE HOUSE!!! oh wait, her response was "it wasn't proven"...what more does she need??? poor erica...i just hope one day it doesn't get worse...

**omGosh, yesterday i had a really bad scare!!! i try to get the phone around 5.30 or so and my mother tells me that johnny called and asked if we had heard anything from babe, they were late to therapy and babe doesn't answer his phone. the last thing my mother says is something about babe's warrants and she's not sure if they picked him up!!! my heart stopped for a bit...i called and called his phone and he didn't answer...i called alex and asked if he's heard from babe, nope nothing...i give it a rest and wait and pray for his dumbass self, i get on the computer and look up the HPD, and check the records, i get so frustrated cause i can't find what i am looking for...then i call him again, and guess who answer's??? the freaken dumbass!!! i was so pissed at him, and relieved at the same time...apparently he was at work, but he was at another job site, so he had to wait for someone to come back to tidwell...i pray that the dumbass won't get locked up...i think he has about 4 warrants or so...i think i may be at fault for one of them...lol...**

i did some of yola's homework...i got a call from Mr. Campbell, we might have lunch on friday...i left Myla *ms. vanduyn* a message...lmao...she calls me back saying she thought about me today...turns out they had a session about SEXUAL HARRASSMENT!!! so yeah, i was running through her mind...the funny part, when i was leaving the message i started off with "hey myla, this is your high school sweetheart, vanessa, i love and miss you"...that woman is awesome!!!

i jumped in the shower around 4.45 or so...i get a call from Roxy, she's like "i'll be there in 5"...AGH!!! i was still in my towel!!! lol...i hurridly put my clothes on and said bye to the parentals...i hear a honk....FEA came to get me, with roxy of course...man i am so in love with that girl...i think she knows though...a good handful have noticed that i have some type of feelings for her...so we go and get erica and go back to the school...the buses were already there, waiting for us...and there was a line...we goofed off in the line and ESPECIALLY in the bus...LMAO!!! i love them so freaken much...POCKET ROCKET!!! lmao...

we get to the place FINALLY around 6.30 or so and go to turn in our tickets...we walked around for a bit and saw the guys and gals of 2005!!! lol...it's awesome to say "we're graduates from davis"...AWESOME-ness!!! we watch the presentation and NO ONE wins the prizes, well JOHN won a laptop, so it's all good...the whole time fea's gal was calling her...we go get our hotdogs and FEA is on the phone trying to find her gal...i dunno if anyone could tell, but i was really bothered...jealous really... we find our buses and i get our seats...roxy says "esperanza said for me to hold her seat"...i turn to look out the window and there she is, the girl i love is kissing her girlfriend!!! everything went silent around me and that's all i could see...the whole ride home i kinda ignored her and if i spoke to her, i wouldn't look at her...it just felt icky!!! i talked to erica about the war thing, her guy is a marine, and he's getting shipped out in january...i'ma start to pray for him...we're all hungry, but the princess "erica" hasn't decided what she wants to eat...lol...

we get to the school and say bye to everyone AGAIN lol... as we pull out of the school, i fix my bra...then i'm like what-the-heck...i'm like "esperanza" she turns and i lift my shirt!!! lmao!!! she was like "omg you flashed me, vanessa flashed me"...lol...it was a weird moment cause i was confused for a bit..."you've seen my boobs before, this isn't the first time" her} "no you haven't, this is the first time i see them without a bra"...lol!!! we stop at a green light to gather our thoughts...as we're heading down fulton, we pass up a burgandy celica...everyone decides to volunteer me to flash him...lol...we played hard to get and whenever it was my turn, he would speed off...lmao!!! some man blew some kisses at me, so i blew some back...lol...we end up at Bayou City Wings...

i hug carmen and joe...mark is there too!!! everyone says hi, so i go up to shake his hand and he pulls me in...we give BIG hug LOL...if i would've told him that i liked him sooner, i'm pretty sure we would've gotten together...he confessed to me end of sophmore year, i confessed at the back of my name card for graduation...lol...then fea's phone keeps going off and guess who walks through the door??? HER GIRL!!! that did it for me...fea was sitting in front of me, it was supposed to be OUR date, and there she was, taking MANY calls from her girl, who was on the other side of the room...UGH!!! salinas, medina, little fili, steven and paulino walk through the door... after we eat for like an hour or so, i walk up to medina and tell him...lol...he laughs...but he gets me...

we head out to the air hockey table *which has been fixed* lol...roxy and fea play their game first...erica is air hockey CHAMP!!! lol...they guys started to play with us after they finished eating...lmao...once we started to play for clothes it got serious...fea's panties were on the table first...lmao...salinas and mark were playing for them, next thing you know the puck thing started flying all over the place!!! lmao!!! everyone get's their turn and shows what they lost...we started to count nickels and dimes to get quarters...lol...the last game was between roxy and i...this time our boobs were on the table...lmao!!! the game was serious...it was up 6 to 6...when out of no where roxy makes it in!!! i am the loser...they start to mini chant to show...lol...mark and juan salinas are behind me, and everyone else is ahead or to the side of me...after a few laughs and "come on's"...lol...the shirt goes up!!! lmao...the guys were shocked i heard fili say something about "those are some of the nicest boobs i've seen"...lol...i take it he hasn't seen many!!! lol...mark and salinas were jealous cause they didn't see anything...LOL!!! mark was like "it's ok, i'm going home with them"...lol...we get our stuff and walk out...everyone with the picture of my boobs in their minds...LMAO!!! fea was like "i've seen your boobs twice today"...so as we get in the car, i'm like "esperanza"...lmao...mark is like "man i didn't see anything"...poor fea, she now has my boobs stuck in her memory...while we were eating she said something about "no vanessa, each time you show me your boobs, i always see your bra, if you would've shown me the *making nipple pictures* i would've remembered, believe me"...lmao...at the end of the night she was offering to draw them...lmao... mark sits in the back with me...after we drop off roxy, erica bumps up the front, and i stay in the backseat with him...he puts his arm on my shoulder and messes with me...lol...he's such a sweetie...i get dropped off and give him a hug, say bye to beck-ie and give fea her kiss on the cheek...i doubt i will ever get the chance to tell her that i love her...someday i will, someday...

i get on the comp to check my e-mail...as i go down the list i notice an e-mail from babe...i knew what it was, but i was hoping it was to say goodnight...nope i was wrong...lol...he's like "look at the fish food, i left you a note"...i know what it's about, but i'm just too excited that he left me one...i open my drawer, and there it is...this is what it said: "well i was here, and you should be here because you didn't tell me you were going somewhere..." lol...i e-mail his phone back and explain what happened...lmao...we think it's cute that he has me "that way"...lmao...i love my dumbass, i let him have his way...i haven't been a good girl lately, so i think it's fair...lol.... i'll call him tomorrow during his lunch...

i still have to write about my AWESOME weekend!!! a giant leap for mankind!!!

*when i walked into the house dad was asleep on the couch...mother comes out of her room...she was like, your father slept on the couch cause you didn't call...AWWW i love my daddy!!! she wasn't mad or anything...she was just worried cause i hadn't called her...i'm good for calling, but it totally slipped my mind this time*

so now i'm hoping on going to Surf Shack tomorrow for quayLONG's going away party...maybe JUAN RAMOS might have the night off and can join us... i dunno what to wear...after satruday's convo, i am iffy that j might show up...ah, i hope all goes well...i need to look for at least 2 more scholarships, or do really good at SAM to get some of theirs...i don't want to get a loan...but if babe can't give me the money, then i just might...owell i need to learn how to do loans anyways...lol...

calling it a night...i'm tired...i woke at 10.30 this morning and i haven't taken a nap...and i gotta be up to call babe during his lunch...*awww: (babe) you don't love me?? (me) yes, i do love you! (babe) i just wanted to hear you say it... MAJOR AWWW!!! that dumbass is such a loser...what can i say, he melts me!!!*

some day, some day...

awesomely weird...

wenros — 2005-08-11T11:08:22-05:00

mother, chris and i were talking in the new living room...apparently my grandmother came to visit mom last night...i came home around 3 and gave her a kiss, mom felt someone kiss her around 11-12...she was praying and praying to get a sign...

after she said her story, i was iffy but i told her i wanted to open the door to spirits...i wanted to communicate with them...i was like, "i dunno mom, something about it just grabs my attention" she was so happy to hear this...i thought that was weird, but she's like "good, you're finally ready, i always prayed for it to be this way"...that really freaked me out...so i asked what did she mean...

turns out this wasn't my first time...when i was about Gianna's age *about 4* i was followed...this got me really curious, so i told her to tell me everything...she says the spirits used to lead me outside *my last memory of it was the porch one* and that i would sweep really late at night, when everyone was asleep to talk to me...she really started to interfere when they would mess with me at school...she says books used to close on me, things would "accidently" fall out of my hands, and that i couldn't learn cause i was too busy telling them "no" or something like that...they were always around...she remembers me arguing at the table, cause they wouldn't even let me eat...

she prayed and prayed for me...she would send me to school with a scapular, she bought an Angel pic and got it blessed, i've kept that above my head, she got me a cross that is also above my head...i remember when i was little i would pray every night with my mother...now i really see why...

i would see them and hear them...which is what i want to do now...since about middle school or something i've told mother that i want to work with dead people, i want to really know what happened to them...she wouldn't really say anything, just "if that's what you want to do fine"...my main reason to work with a dead person, is to try to talk to the spirits...i've known that i wanted to work with dead people since elementary school, but i've wanted to communicate with them since about middle school...

i dunno, but i really want to do that...then i was like "but i'm kinda scared cause what if some of them are not too nice, i don't want them hurting me"...she told me a prayer, and was like "if you really want to do it, just pray to God and pray that it happens"...we started to talk about the bad spirits and she mentioned the Ouija...

we started to talk about Yola...she's the one who started with the Ouija board...it wasn't too nice to her though, the spirits would curse her out and say that they wanted to kill her...i heard Chris say something to mom about "remember that time she wanted to shoot herself in the backyard"...the last time anyone touched the Ouija was YEARS ago, Elisa and Yola were talking to my uncle...they wanted to know who killed him, and he gave them a list of names...he said he was one of those souls that hasn't entered heaven, nor hell, so he was just roaming around, waiting...after they were done talking to him, Elisa asked mom if she knew the people...mom was like "where did you get these names from"...they were some men from our town in mexico...that was the last time anyone touched the Ouija...mother made them get rid of it...

it finally clicked...when we were making our "scary ghost" video for aguilar, the plan was to sneak into Jefferson Davis Hospital...mother was really iffy about it and was like "i want to go with you, if not please pray, be careful"... she really didn't want me to go, cause she didn't want me to be followed home...

now that i know that my past wasn't too good, i am really iffy about it...i want to get comfortable with them first...i dunno...

currently i can just hear them having converstations...it's nothing clear though...but i can make out genders at times...and i get feelings that something is around...

forgot something...mother said that one time i told her that i saw 4 crosses, and that a lady was going down into the earth, but i knew the EXACT spot where she was...she said something else, but i forgot...then she was like "you didn't know at the time, but it was a lady who died of cancer" when i saw the vision, i gave mother the description of the lady...

then we started to talk about La Señorita Anita...she was mothers friend who passed away about 2 years ago...that lady had a really good power...she would see addresses and names, and would write letters to those people...sort of like messages from God...she would send out the letters without knowing who the people were, but within a few days/weeks she would get a response saying Thank you for the letter...

so many things i want to say...but i dunno...

mother is iffy about me wanting to open up because she won't be around to protect me...

when johnny was having his death feelings he told mom first...when he told jesse, jesse was like "i've known what you're going through, but i wanted you to tell me"...no one had told jesse, but then again he's jesse, i think he still has his powers, but he just didn't want them to be all that he was...he wanted to be his own person, his own life... our family is full of msyteries...

these are the people that are privileged, or were at some point:
mother, joanne, jesse, johnny, i, juice, kimberly, coressa *we're still waiting to see coressa's, but we know that hers is there*

wow, life is a mystery...

abusive??? i think not...

wenros — 2005-08-14T04:08:52-05:00

got off the phone with babe a few minutes ago... he's semi drunk...so it was fun to mess with him...we haven't apologized for earlier...but we've dropped it...i'll just wait til tomorrow when he's sobered up and has his mind cleared...

so like i was telling DUANE!!! my awEsomE male papi, today was rough...lol...not sexual of course...

babe and i were laying on the bed and i told him i had another dream about the bitch...his stupid ass remark "were ya having sex"...oh fuck no!!! so i got mad, we got into it a little and i was trying to talk, but his dumbass wasn't listening...then he was like "look at me" and i was being stubborn so he says "fuck you then"...my first instinct was to backhand him... he looks at me and walks away...after a while i go to the back room, not to apologize, but to say "hey, seriously, that was uncalled for"...so he's like move, and i'm like "no, now you look at me"...so as he steps forward i push him back, into the washer..."move!!!, get out of my way"...i'm like "fuck that, you expect me to listen to you and look at you when you say, but when i ask you to, you ignore me"...so i pushed him back once more...and next thing i know my back is into the counter, my left arm is bent over my right shoulder, and i hit the microwave...skinny little me can't push him off, so there i am helpless...i said something about mother is coming and he lets me go...

we go outside and sit down...we start talking and johnny comes out so they can go home...i'm like "call me later, or i'll call you"...his stipud ass says something about "being busy" with the bitch...of course he meant sexually, cause he thinks he's funny..."that's it, you did it with that one" i say as he enters the car, and i could see the expression on his face dropped...he looked down and got in...

i sat on my bed crying *angry tears*...i hate the fact that we can't just argue something out, something always comes up...lol...awhile later johnny comes back and gives me the 100 $$ adrian is paying me, and 40 $$ from babe...he's like "edward said something about giving rudy 10 $$"...

my goal was to not call babe for the rest of the weekend...but when i tallied my 85$$ from the reimbursement check, i was short 5 bucks, so i called him...he was sweet like nothing happened "i want to give you more, but i withdrew the max for today...i'll give you more money when you leave to school"...i was confused...apparently he forgot that my arm was red and hurt cause of him...he's like "i want to give you more money, don't think that's all i'm giving you"...lol...even when i'm mad at him he's sweet...lol...so i was like "i'll change the money, call me later, or i'll just give you a call late"...

he wasn't drunk yet...

i called him around 9.30 cause i didn't want to call him too late...we talked about the party...and he said the bitch was going to drive him home..."that's fine, just be careful, phone mail me when you get home, just to make sure you're safe, and so i'll know nothing happened" lol...we started laughing...i don't really hate her as much as before, but it really gets to me when he jokes "that way" about her...

i got on my computer...after a while i got his message: "ok, i'm home"...so i call him and we talk for a bit...he's so sweet for being a fucken dumbass...he's like "you believe me when i tell you nothing happened right??"...i was like "of course i do, why would you lie to me"...he had his sad voice on "cause the last time, you didn't want to believe me, and nothing happened"...

then he goes off about something that happened at the party..."listen to me, ok, i didn't see anything, trust me"... he tells me that the bitch was walking and her sister pulled her shirt down...he was like "but baby, trust me, i didn't see anything...i would tell you if i saw anything"...i started laughing and making fun of her, then the dumbass says something, but we laughed it off...he was worried that i would get mad at him or something like that...

we haven't apologized, but it's all good...i'll call him tomorrow, and we'll see what happens...he might come over cause he gotsta pick up the boxing tape and take it back to work monday...

*awww...i told him i needed the boxes so i could start getting my things ready...he brought me about 8 medium boxes from work...lol...i'ma miss him...he took them out, and they went for them after therapy*

sadly, but truly, i love my dumbass...some day, some day...

doc's visit monday...

wenros — 2005-08-17T10:08:58-05:00

so last friday i was awaken between the hours of 7 and 8 AM...

mother gives me the phone...

it's my doc saying they've made me an appointment for Monday 15th...

i was confused, but went back to sleep...

i got mother to call back later that day and see why i had to go in...

they were bringing the specialist or something cause they found something in my x-rays...

monday comes around and i go to the doc...

i wait and wait...seems like forever...

the specialist gets there...they do my stats and all that other good stuff...

i'm still at 109 3/4...lol...so that's good...

we do the whole check up thingy and turns out the reason they wanted to see me was cause in the x-rays it showed that i have a slight curviture due to scoliosis...

interesting...

so she's like..."it's not bad, but we just wanted to get it looked at"...

when i leave to college, i have to enroll in YOGA or aerobics to strengthen my back...

then they kicked my mother out of the room...lol...not really, but it was "private"...

BOTH of the docs asked me about being on the pill!!! lol...they were like, when is your next period, what are you using, we don't want you coming back next month saying you need a test...lol...they even asked how old he was, i simply said 18....yeah, i lied to my doc, but it's for a good cause...

my doc covered for me "she's safe, she's responsible, she's good for taking care of herself"...

i called babe when i got home and left him a message on what happened...dumbass was like "what's up quazzi"...he's such a dumbass...i love him...

tuesday...

wenros — 2005-08-17T11:08:11-05:00

woke up at 7 Am... walked to babe's room and jumped on the bed...he was dressed, but asleep...love my babe...

went to the kitchen, mother was making lunch for dad...

she was like "why are you up so early...you want to go with eduardo?"...

so i ran, got in the shower, and got dressed...

got out of the shower at 7.20, brushed my teeth and went to get babe...

he was like "it's 7.30 already"...lol...

we were planning to leave at 7.30, but yola's car was in the drive way, mother had left to school with the kids, lisa brought the baby over, and i had to stay to take care of carlie and baby jewel...rudy goes to school and gets they keys from yola, mother gets home and takes care of the girls...

we end up leaving around 7.40 or so...we go put gas and then we're on our way...

we follow the stupid directions yahoo maps gave us...1 point for babe, non for yahoo...lol...he didn't even let me get the point...lol...

we get to 1-10 and for the love of me, there is MUCH traffic...so we sit there like dumbass for a good while...around 8.00 or so we're still there...so i'm like, just drive around it and cut through...

turns out there was a vehicle in the 2nd left lane, so everyone was slowing down to go one by one...oh hell no...once we get through that, we're about 5-10 minutes back on the road when we come upon MORE traffic...lol...

we end up noticing that we can't find the place...him being a guy, he doesn't want to ask for directions...so i get out of the car and ask the sbc people where the place is...they tell us where to go and i bust out laughing...TIME WARNER is RIVALS to SBC!!! lmao...it was amusingly funny...

i was like, we're gonna be late, i'll call...no, he says...we're 10 minutes late, and he's like, are you going to call...LMFAO!!! HERE!!! i say and he cuts in sharply...lmao!!!

we get in and the chick is like "you're late...but so are we, so it's ok"...

i fill out his paper work and about 20 minutes later or so he gets called in...

man, if i would've known that an MRI would take that long, i would've gone back into the car...i left him dirty messages recorded on his phone, and took some goofy pics...LMAO!!!

after about an hour or so, we head out to suzie's...man, he loves that woman, he's been going to her for 5 years now, and will drive out there just to get a hair cut...

when we get there, only her husband is there, so we go have breakfast...

we go to BK, where he pays...aww!!! lol...we talk about life and our future...turns out he sees ME as an INVESTMENT!!! lmao...i find that cutely funny...if he can help me make it, then he can retire quicker and let me bring in all the cash...lol...he has such high expectations of me...but knows my feelings about that subject...lol...

we go back to suzie's and i tell him about a change of hairstyle...lol...how cute, he's like "what do you think, do you like it"...lmao...when she's done, she looks at me and says "like that, or shorter"...it was PERFECT!!! lmao...she did a lower fade, but it made a difference, i also told her to give the top a medium cut, not too short...lol...

as we walk out, he's like "i really like it"...then he's like "should i get the gel, what if i can't do my hair like this anymore"...lmao...so we sit there in the car wondering if the gel makes the difference...i'm like, "come on, let's go get the gel, i'll buy it"...and i could see the smile on his face...lol...it was only 7 dollars, but I bought it for him...the husband was like "she's paying, wouldn't we all want a woman like that"...lol...it's funny when people think we're a couple...lol...

while we're standing there, suzie is like "what happened, you're getting your hair cut too"...i turn to babe and smile..."if you want to, that's fine"...i think about it for a good minute or 2 and finally give in...i'm like "if you pay for it, i'll get it"...lol...i go to the back and suzie tells the girl "she's getting it cut like her boyfriends"...i simply laugh and say "no, a little bit longer"...lol...

i tell her how i want it, and explain SPECIFICALLY for her to NOT cut any of it ABOVE my shoulders...so she does her thing, and gets to the front layers...she approves the length, and i give her the yes...

when she's done, she holds the mirror and i'm like "i can't see anything, word, what do you think"...he likes it very much, so i'm like cool...he pays the girl and i'm like "i like it, it feels nice"...

i get into the car and OMGOSH!!! i notice she cut the layer ABOVE my shoulder!!! i start bitching and cussing and he's like "calm down, nothing's wrong with it, it looks fine"...i start raising my voice at him and turn my anger towards him and he's like "fine i won't ever take you to get a haircut"...it really pissed me off that she cut it above my shoulder...I HATE SHORT hair!!! i despise it, that's always my fear when i get a hair cut...that it comes out short...in my 18 years of life, i think i have gotten a hair cut about 5-6 times...

i call my mother and ask her about going to babe's place to get his clothes...yeah, she was kinda iffy about us being alone, so she's like "respect yourself, don't take too long, i don't want your father getting after me"...lol...

we make it to his house...as i walk towards his room, he looks at me and smiles...lol...i walk into the restroom and he's like "can you step out please, i have to pee"...lmao...he was just standing there, with his piece out, and couldn't go...i was like "no, if we plan on having something, you have to get comfortable with me"...lmao...he's like "you don't have to leave, just go by the door"...lmao...as he starts, i step back in and start laughing at him...he tries to put his back to me, but i laugh louder "hey look, i'm watching you pee"...LMAO!!!

we go into his room and stand there for a bit...we start to make out...we get into the mood and he lays on the bed as i strip for him...lol...he's like "come on"...and i look at him..."what, what do you want"...i guess he forgot the promise i made to him...he's confused "what's wrong, you don't want to" "i told you, i will not have sex with you on the bed, you can fuck her all you want on it, but you're not having me"...he gets up and walks to the door "what do you want me to do, throw it away, it's a nice bed, look at it"... "yes, throw it away, i don't care what you do to it"...lol...

funny how we both manage to get our ways with each other!!! lol...we get his clothes and turns off the ac...man, johnny's room can get you high from walking in...lol...i love my brother!!!

as we're on the freeway, it starts to rain really bad... i ask babe about the whole Pill thing, and he's for it...he really wants me too, and i do too, but i dunno...priscilla got pregnant, and she was on the pill...

we get home and it's pouring really bad...it slows down a bit though...i walk out of the car, with IT in my pocket...LMAO!!!

mother asks us to go to fiesta, so we do...on the way home i see a lady soaked, pushing her cart home...i tell babe to pull over, but he doesn't want to...i start crying cause i want to give the lady my umbrella, so he goes back around and i get off...she was really greatful...babe says something about "you holy roller"...lmao...we pass up my church and i'm like "say it now punk, say it"...lol...

we get home and he's like *with a laughing smile* "and you better not tell your mom that i was making fun of you"...lmao...i run inside the house telling my mom my heroic story of helping the lady in the rain, when babe walks in i say "and guess what mom, eduardo was making fun of me"...LMAO!!!...my punishment for telling on him was to wash his clothes!!! lmao!!! like i've never done it before...lol...

mother asks us to go get some paper that was left out from the taxes...i keep insenuating that i want wings...lol...after we do our run, he's like "so back home right???"...

we end up going to the Subways here on main...man, that guy loves quizzno's or subway's...he's trying to eat healthy...TRYING is the word...he did good a couple of months ago, but i dunno what happened...we order our stuff and get cookies!!! yay!!! :) ...i payed this time...i love to spoil my man!!! lol...i feel sad though cause i didn't give him anything for his birthday this year...well i did, but i would've chosen something else...when i get a really good, really good job, with my 2nd check i will get him something really nice...he's done so much for me...

we sit there and eat...just like happy friends do...lol...we get to talking some more...i dunno...the other day we were in the kitchen eating and he said something about "a good part of me wants to be with you, but i know it's just not the right time"...but i look at it the way my brother said "if he's a real man, and really loves you, he will wait for you, no matter how long"...there are 2 ways in his life, one is me, and the other is..well i dunno what the other one is, we just talked about me...lol...

babe said one of the saddiest true things: our subway is the only one with BURGULAR bars, it's sad how every single place in the hood has to have bars!!! lol..it was funny, but sad as well...

we came home and i layed with him for a bit...next thing i know, chris was outside waiting for me to go to walmart...i told him i was leaving, gave him a kiss and said i would call him later...i love spending all day with him, i just don't like that at the end, we have to part, instead of going to bed together...some day we will...aww...as i layed in his arms the other night i told him, "if God allows it, i would love to be with you for one night, at least, that's one of the few things i ask for"...he just looked at me and smiled...one day, one day...

called babe and told him the usual "i'm home, i love you, goodnight"...

life is weird...but someday it will make sense...

woo-hoo!!! almost done!!!

wenros — 2005-08-19T11:08:41-05:00

i'm done packing my clothes...just waiting for dad to take out the fridge...babe is undoing the computer when he gets home...

AWW!!! he's spending the night so hopefully he gets to go with me tomorrow!!!

my roomey is FREAKEN AWESOME!!! so far we've talked for about 5-6 hours!!! lol...she called again today...woo-hoo!!!

went out to eat with fea today...got home around 9 something...i love her chingos!!! i'm going to miss her most of all!!! *besides babe*

pete might help me with the move-in tomorrow...i just gotta make sure to call him!!! lol...

i hope i'm not leaving anything out...

i'm using the list in the college survivor book shanahan gave me...it's a pretty good list...so far, i've packed what relates to me...so tomorrow i am taping the boxes for good...giving them one last check...

i am still left with like 5 boxes...so i'm leaving them here, stuffed somewhere in my closet...they're folded nicely, so they can go anywhere...lol...

goodnight to all...

juan is the BEST!!!

wenros — 2005-08-21T09:08:24-05:00

so yeah...

interesting fact: first night in college and i sleep with juan in his room and bed!!!

total COOL!!!

so yeah, interesting things happened, which shall be between the wall and i...

*juan's laughing hysterically under me...i'm on his lap*

hopefully tonight he gets to return the favor...lol...

COLLEGE IS AWESOME!!!

woo-hoo!!!

*please refer to juan's blog johnny every now and then, and congratulate him on being with a HOTTIE like me LOL*

life sucks...

wenros — 2005-08-22T03:08:46-05:00

so yeah...

i feel weird, but dunno how to describe it...

random quick thought: i'm currently watching *listening* to MEATWAD!!! lol..."roger" !!!

when i was in the car with juan, i so had this entry written out in my mind, but somehow i managed to forget everything that i thought of at the time, but then again, that is just like me, to forget things so easily...

life is so freaken weird at the moment..i dunno what's going on, it feels weird, but it's like....and then i get all...and then i remember...and oh-no, don't let me start to think about... AGH!!! that would be horrible...

jesse and babe brought me home today...i dunno, it's just weird...blah!!! the correct words are no where to be found...my mind is kinda going into the whole "swirl" or "circle" as some say...but i hope it gets better or what-not...

i think i know what i need to do, but i dunno at times..it's like i am scared of what's going to happen if i change my mind...or what if i follow it...

i feel like running away from all of this...or sleeping and when i wake for it to be solved, and have no more of this dilemma!!!

agh!!! what am i to do??? what is there to do???

*juan just sneezed some ewwy gooey stuff out of his nose, poor guy, he's sick* **oh and he wants me to mention that he lost his voice, which i find kinda amusing, cause i speak for him...lol...and he can't introduce himself, i am wrong for laughing, but it's funny**

i just cried, cause i read an e-mail from my sister that i love VERY much...she's always been there for me, and she's so helpful...i love my sister...

i dunno...

went to starbucks today...jesse finally took me...lol...then we went to wal mart to get some things i needed...

babe and jesse came to fix the stuff in the room...

LMFAO!!! yesterda *saturday* pete and juan were leaving the room, when samantha asked them to write on the board outide our room...pete writes the following, with juan's help : Come on in, we're naked!!! jesse notices this and leaves a message of his own : Mr. Pete, I beg you to write some shit like that again, please. Vanessa's Loving Brother P.S See you at *pete's house and room number* lmao...

so as i'm walking my brother and babe out, guess who we run into??? PETE and JUAN!!! lmao!!! that was one of the weirdest moments i've been in...i was all iffy about juan and babe meeting each other, but it was bound to happen one day, i couldn't keep them from crossing eachothers path anymore...

blah, life is weird!!!

love freaken sucks!!!

wenros — 2005-08-24T07:08:15-05:00

FUCK EVERYONE!!!

LIFE'S A BITCH!!!

IN A WEIRD WAY I AM KINDA HOMESICK...

but secretly it's just because of babe, we had one of the deepest convo's the other day...

i love him soo much and i know, even if the incident wouldn't have came up, that he loves me too...

i want to be happy with him, well i am, but i want to be with him...

i can't wait til for the day he comes over here...!!!

*sigh*

silly guys...

wenros — 2005-08-25T02:08:38-05:00

i bummed around with asian michael, william, michael and some blonde chick...she's cool though, so it's all good...

at first michael's, william, and i went to south paw to eat...which was quite fun, cause i got to know william a bit better...we talked about our families and heritages and all that other good stuff...i called juan to join us, but i guess he had other plans with his girlfriend *hun, you know i am kidding, so PUH-LEASE don't get bothered* after we ate, we came back to the house and that's when the blonde chick asked if we wanted to go eat with her...we decided to go to H-E-B instead...lol...

we hiked all the way to H-E-B to get some stuff for smores...lol...we crossed a busy street...LOL!!! we almost got hit by a truck...lol...man, the guys are awesome!!!

we played around in the store for a bit...we had an orgy...lol...

as we were walking back to campus, i noticed 2 guys in a car without their shirts...i stopped a black guy that was walking on the same sidewalk as we were, and i asked him what does he consider "flashing"...lol...somehow we ended up saying that asian michael and i were a couple, the blonde and william were together, then i was in a 3 way with both michael...oh and when we get really excited, all 5 of us get together...lol...

we hiked back to school and made the smores...we didn't sell any, but it's all good...for some reason i just wanted to throw up, so it kinda killed my appettite...we made a few, then put the stuff up, we didn't want to get caught with the microwave...man, this school charges FINES for EVERYTHING!!! if you get locked out of your room, it's 10 freaken dollars!!!

we started to watch some movies...then juan and i had some personal time...i dunno what's going on...apparently i am at fault, but it's all good, i am used to being at fault for most things...we were talking and the guys were laughing at us cause the restroom door was closed, and they LOCKED us in...lol...we didn't take advantage of the situation, we just talked...about what i still dont' understand, but i hope everything is cleared out between us...

juan left and the guys and i just kept watching the band movie...some how we started talking about crazy stuff...we talked for about 2-3 hours!!! lol...it was so freaken interesting how we went from one subject to another within a matter of minutes...we even talked about breeding animals, and what does one consider the word "virgin"...lol...

the guys finally left around 12.30 or so...lol...michael a.k.a. FIDEL *he wants to be president of the house and be like Fidel Castro...LOL* stayed "sleeping" on my bed...he's like "set the alarm for 8 am"...i thought it was funny, til i saw that he was really serious, he really wanted to stay the night with me...he brought up the fact that juan sleeps with me, and i was like "yeah, that's different"...he finally left, and larry came back into the room laughing at me!!! lol...they left him here on PURPOSE!!!

i changed into my jammies and walked over to their room...larry was tucked!!! into bed, so Fidel wouldn't try to touch him...lol!!! so i walked over to william and mike's room and they were still up...big willy was on his bed doing some stuff, with his boobs hanging out, and mike was on his comp playing games...

so i walked into the room, Fidel walked in after me...larry LOCKS the door behind him...fidel was like "oh man, you locked me out"...so i run and lock the other door!!! LOL!!! poor guy, he was stuck in the restroom...lol...we busted out laughing at the poor guy!!! william was turning red from all the laughter...him and his milky skin need a tan...lol...larry felt sorry, so we let him out...lol...

and there was Fidel, standing in his boxers and shirt asking the guys "do you want to have a sword fight??? there's a friesta in my pants"...LOL!!! it was freaken hilarous!!!

after a while, i managed to find my way to my room...lol...

these guys are so much fun, i have a class with Fidel and juan tomorrow...so hope that goes well...

ROGER IS AWESOME!!!

wenros — 2005-08-26T03:08:09-05:00

hey punk!!!

miss you!!!

oops, i am talking to you at the moment...

lol...silly me...hope to talk to you soon...

i hate this

wenros — 2005-08-29T05:08:48-05:00

this freaken keyboard sucks

i can't use the exclamation point cause the upper 1 doesn't work...

i AM giving up on this keyboard....

i am going to my room in a littlebit and will use the comp there...

ugh...

i am so frekken mad ☺ ☺ ☻ ☻ ♥ ♥

college is my new life...

wenros — 2005-08-29T09:08:34-05:00

i'm missing babe so freaken bad at the moment!!!

i just want to be in his arms and for him to hold me oh so close to his body...

i miss his warmth...

how he makes me feel as if everthing is going to be ok...

i need to talk to him...

but i can't get in touch...he's with my brother...and i can't call him anymore or what-not...

this sucks major bad!!!

people, people, people...

wenros — 2005-08-31T11:08:11-05:00

there are so many people around, and yet i feel so alone...

it's all good, i have to learn someday right???

i am forever hungry...lol...food is in my mind...

i need to eat more often, lately it's been about 2-3 times a day, with snacks in between...

i need to get some bread, so i can make some sandwiches...

i think i am going to make me a sopita webona...

just got a messag alert...

babe wrote to me...

goodnight to all, and to all a goodnight...

i love him so much, and hurts that i want to wake to him...

some day, some day...

what to do, what to do...

wenros — 2005-09-01T05:09:35-05:00

talked to babe last night...so yay i am so freaken happy...
we didn't talk for long, but it was long enough for me to miss him...
what am i saying, i miss him much throughout the day...
i try to get him out of my mind, but it just doesn't work...

i think about him during class, when i sleep, in the shower, just about every single place i go...
it gets to me how the little things are what remind me of him...
AGH!!! i am trying really hard to not think of him, but i just dunno...
i miss waking up to him, waking in his arms, to his kisses, his warmth...

i called him before we went to lunch today...
he didn't answer, so i left a message...
turns out he was trying to call me back...lol...
i was half way down the hallway when i hear my phone ring...
i run back into the room almost tripping to get the phone...
it was BABE!!! he was calling to say that he'll be at work til about 7 or something...
i almost melted!!! it's the little things he does that helps remind of how much i love him...
i told him i was going to lunch and he said "ok, be careful"...
AWW!!! i love him soo freaken much...

this week has been one interesting one with him...
all this talk about stuff...
i dunno how to react when he says that he does want to marry me and have kids and all that good stuff...
i know he really means it, otherwise we wouldn't talk like this...we're not even together...
it's good to hear these things, but i know what i must do if i want to get them...
or not..lol...

mother nature had fun with us this past week...lol...
i love my baby so freaken much!!!
it's hard to want to talk to him, and not be able to...
4 more years, hopefully, and i won't have to want anymore, cause...
i'll HAVE it!!! him...lol...

I LOVE MY BABE SO FREAKEN MUCH, it hurts...

DILF or FILF...which one is it...

wenros — 2005-09-03T09:09:28-05:00

Roger has DE-VIRGINIZED ME!!!

he is my 10 elder papi that i am having an affair with...

CYBER to be exact...

hey "roger"...

wenros — 2005-09-06T05:09:50-05:00

hey...how was your weekend???

good i hope...

i read kuya, and it was very unteresting...

so yeah, can't wait...

muah...take care...hope all is well...

toodles papi...

fucking shit...

wenros — 2005-09-09T04:09:55-05:00

oh man, it's like 3.30 or what-not and i have nothing on my stupid paper...i dunno what the fuck i am going to do...

i was to spend the night at juan's place, but that turned out to be a sour idea...too much drama in that department, and i guess i just kinda made it worse adding more people into the picture, if you know what i mean...

he was being such a dumbass today, it wasn't even funny...well i did find it amusing when he told me "fuck you get out of my car"...he's so glad he got me in a good mood...cause for sure, all bull shit to the side i know i would've hit him, whether it be a loser punch or just a slap to make him feel even stupider...

why do guys have to be such asses...ugh it just freaken pissed the heck out of me when he said all that stupid shit, and i don't mean the ones in the cafe, i mean the way he was acting in the hallway, in the lobby, outside, and in his car...

ugh, i dunno what to do at times, so i just get all "fuck it whatever" and it really pisses the hell out of me when he fucks with me about it...he acts stupid about it, and yet when i say something about him, he is quick to say "quit or something"

i fucking hate him at times, but dunno how to tell him nicely to leave me the fuck alone...ugh it hurts so much to want to be AWAY from him, while wanting to get him to understand me..then he acts all stupid about "respect" UGH!!!

I FUCKING HATE JUAN MANUEL RAMOS III AT THE MOMENT!!!

i can't fucking take it anymore...it just pisses me off to be around him at times...i dunno what to do, i'm not that good at telling people to leave me alone, especially if i am that close to them...it just pisses me off when he acts stupid like that in front of people, then he wonders why i tell him shit...

that guy is getting on my last nerve...

i dunno it's like, why am i still holding on to him??? i think i am just giving myself gray hairs talking to him * as friends, cause i dunno what's going on at the time*

lately, i've been getting all comfy with eric; an awesome guy who lives on my floor...he's slept in my room like 2wice already, but it's all good, cause nothings happened, and he's good at keeping his hands to himself...but when i want to hug him infront of juan, it's like UGH!!! cause i know juan gives ugly looks...*dont' deny it juan, you know you do*

we were playing monopoly the other night and eric had his arm around me, and like an hour or so into the game, juan is like "i'm going home"...turns out he left to not be around the scene *eric&i* UGH!!! i know i get that way with him at times when he's on the phone with LESHON, LAUREN, FELICITY and them girls, but he has weird relationships with them, i don't have any relationship, except the one with BABE!!!

ugh i think juan has reached my last nerve...i doubt i can forget about this one...lately his thing is to curse at me...oh hell no, no one is going to curse at me...if it's not BABE, then i don't want to hear it...even then, BABE doesn't even curse at me, so therefor juan has NO right to curse at me either...

what really gets to me is that i tend to be violent at times, if i don't take it out on someone, i tend to take it out on myself...in conclusion, juan makes me want to hurt myself!!! whenever we get into stupid shit, i just laugh it off and breath it out...either that or do something stupid...i dunno what's going on anymore...

part of me meant the entry i had written earlier, but i know i wouldn't want anything to happen to him...in the end he is a close friend to me...i would pour out tears if i found out something happened to him...ay juan, why must we be this way with each other???

i fucking hate you...i dunno how to feel about you anymore...

i freaken called him like a dumbass to see if i could go to his place and watch the porn we got at RUBBER DUCKY'S...and i was like, "just call me when you want to come over, you kow so i could open the door"...so he's like "i have to change into my shorts"...a little while later, juan is calling *andrew's* phone and saying he is outside, and to open the door...

we went back upstairs i got back into my comfy position...some of us were sitting on the floor, and eating sandwiches...then like a little while into our convo, 2 of the RA's come and tell us that we need to get out of the hallway and go into our rooms or go to the lobby...so we get our shit, and everyone is like "let's go to the lobby"...the whole time we were upstairs, we were being amused by one of our drunk roommates AMBER...she's so freaken cute about it...lol...seriously...

so juan is like "are we going or what"...knowing that i told him on the phone that i wanted to spend time with ANDREW cause he might not go with us to juan's place...for some reason juan is not having a good time...i dunno why...so he gets all bitchy and is like "are we going or what"...i so didn't like the tone of his voice, which really got me pissed, but i didn't say anything...if he wanted to leave, no one is holding him back, he can simply get up and go...

so i'm chunking the deuce, and i guess he gets fed up and leaves...not even a minute or 2 later, i get andrew to call him cause i remembered that he had my sweater in his car...so he's all like "come outside and get it"...i go outside, to get my sweater and things go south from then...he's all stupid and stuff and he says stupid stuff...his last words were "fuck you get out of my car"...i had to laugh to not hit him...i wanted to hit him so fucking bad!!! me and my little arms may not do much, but just knowing that i hit him would make me feel so much better...

funny how he can talk to me about anything, but when i want to open my mouth, he's quick to say "i dont' want to hear it"...shit like that makes me wonder : is he really my friend??? i doubt he really is...i want to cry so freaken bad, just cause he pisses me off so fucking much...i can't stand him anymore...i dunno what to do at times...

i know deep down inside he is a really great guy, but i also wonder, how deep must i go to find this "really great guy"...he can be so much of a better person, if only he would leave me alone...

I DO NOT LIKE JUAN MANUEL!!!

some day, i know he'll get the worse of me...today, was just the light of the wick...

i'm so glad that he is going home for the weekend, cause i know i will not be able to see his face without wanting to hurt him...

it was so freaken hilarous when juan was standing next to me in the hallway and ZAKI was doing stupidly funny shit behind his back...for some reason, i think ZAKI doesn't like juan...but it's all good, that's his business, so i won't get into that...then ZAKI kept getting closer and closer to juan's face...as long as juan doesn't get beat up by the guys it's all good...

juan's a biatch!!! lol...i think that's what it is...

what makes this situation even more hilarous is the fact that most of the guys are football playes, so juan looks scrawny compared to them...and if you get one mad, most likely all the others are going to get in...

the guys in my house are awesome...they're the type that make you feel comfy and safe around...the ones you call when your wall is coming down...

!!!life is weird!!!

goodmorning to all...

wenros — 2005-09-12T10:09:45-05:00

just got into my room around 9. o something...

another crazy night!!!

slept with steven again...but not sexual of course...

that makes 2 so far...hoping on many more...

he's such a bad ass person...quite entertaining how we learn more and more about each other...

awesome night!!!

GOOD MORNING "ROGER" !!! :) :) :) :) MUAH...ENJOY YOUR DAY!!!

LMFAO!!! guys these days...

wenros — 2005-09-12T08:09:03-05:00

man, today was so freaken awesome, and it isn't even done yet...

we were in steven and montana's room...chilling/bumming...

andrew brought out his tiger balm cause steven's legs were still sore...

we dared aaron to rub it on his BALLS!!!

LMFAO!!! that was the hilarous thing i've seen!!!

he stood in the restroom and pointed his ass to us, so we knew he wasn't cheating...

after a while he was like "AH!!!"...it was freaken HOT on his BALLS!!!

it was freaken hilarous...he had to take steven's little fan into the restroom and hold it for about 2-3 minutes...

everyone was cracking up!!!

so yeah...other stuff happened, but i only have little time...

goodmorning to all...

wenros — 2005-09-13T10:09:01-05:00

so yeah...

we went walking again last night, but this time there was no sprinklers or any wetness...

some people were having issues, so it was good to just walk...

we found some water holder thingamajiger...like a dam or something...i dunno...

anyways, we sat on there for a while, and just talked...

i did more DIP...lol...it felt weird cause it gives you dizziness and i was trying to not fall off the wall...all in all it felt good...

after that we walked back home...

forgot what everyone was doing...

i was supposed to stay with steven, but as i was watching movies with DAVID and BIG WILL i fell asleep...

i just got back into my room around 8.45 or so...

i need to fix my stuff so i can have a bed to sleep on...lol...

or i can just continue to sleep with the guys...lol...

;)

i have to study for a quiz i have at 11...wish me luck...

called juan this morning...for some reason he had to bring out the past...why can't he just move on??? he's like "i want to be your friend, but we make each other so mad"...blah blah blah...whatever...freaken drop it already...but whatever, it's all good...

i have other things on my mind that i need to concentrate on...like boys, BABE, school, FOOD...

what a great way to start my day...

wenros — 2005-09-13T10:09:29-05:00

so i get a call while i'm brushing my teeth...

it's my "cousin" beck-ie...

i've known that girl since about soph year, she's super sweet and such an awesome person to talk to...

the reason we say we're cousins is cause for some absurd reason people would ask if we were sisters or related cause we looked alike...

ok, to the point...

so she starts to ask me if i have any plans for DEC. 10...finals are that week, but if she wants to do anything, i'll go back home for her...

turns out it's the WEDDING DATE...

i'm so freaken happy for her!!! she's told me before that they've spoken about marriage, but i didn't know it was for real...i was in denial...

so yeah, he's coming down for DEC, and is going to stay here til a couple of days after new years...then he gets shipped out in february or something...

so yeah, he's in the marines, and he's going to IRAQ...

they're not getting married cause of the ship out, they really love each other...

he asked her dad for permission!!! how awesome is that!!!

i'm so freaken happy and excited, i can't wait!!!

much luck and happiness to her!!! she deserves it!!!

college and drugs...

wenros — 2005-09-15T07:09:25-05:00

so yeah..

yesterday was quite fun...

i did the dip again, but with all the diziness i got really nauseous...lol..

whenever i get dizzy i usually throw up, so yeah i knew it was coming...

so yeah, the guys were having fun with me cause i couldn't stand or do any swift movements...lol...

the 3 minutes it lasted was YUMMY!!! it felt so good to just sit there, relaxed...

took it out after a few minutes and went to my room...

needless to say, i threw up...

went back to montana's room and laid on steven's bed, which is quite comfy...lol...

i hear noises, and no not in my head...lol...it was eric and steven, they just got back from somewhere...

steven says something about "don't move, we'll be done in a sec."...

i knew it...lol...he puts it to my nose and says "ok, honestly, smell it, doesn't it smell like your hair"...lol...so i finally figured out why he loves to smell my hair...

IT REMINDS HIM OF MARY JANE!!! lol...

they stuffed a black and we headed out...

we went to our spot and waited til they smoked it...

guys are quite entertaining...

steven gave me a blow, lol...whatever it's called...yummy...

i was tempted to smoke, but i will have consequences, so it's better if i don't...

we headed back to the house and we just bummed around in one anothers room...

i slept with steven again...lol...it was funny to jump in bed to find him in his boxers...lol...but it's all good...i think it's awesome that he doesn't try to feel on me or anything...very respectful...

we stayed up for a while and then montana got a phone call so he left to someone's place...

i think we went to bed around 2.30 or something...i dunno...

man, steven has a HUGE ass!!! when he lays on his stomach it stays perky!!! lol...very cute!!!

what to do, what to do...

wenros — 2005-09-16T03:09:08-05:00

tonight was a productive night...which is quite unusual for me...

we usually do stuff or just bum together...but not tonight...

guillermo, miguel and andrew revised my paper...man, andrew is so good at catching little things that others didn't...i now know who to go to for help on papers...awesome!!!

juan was apparently down stairs...no hi or anything, but it's all good...i called him the other day to do something, but he said no thanks...turns out he went to the parking lot instead...funny matter...secretly that hurt, but fuck it...it's done and over with already...didn't even say goodbye...lol...

andrew, larry, zaki, samantha and i were downstairs watching tv...i was doing the corrections on my paper and started a slide show presentation...so that way, if andrew ever feels down, he can simply open the slide show and know that someone cares about him...!!!

got to my room and noticed that i had mail!!! i love e-mail!!!

it was from babe!!! aww!!! he called to say goodnight and all that other good stuff, but i missed the call, so he text me instead...the funky part is that he wrote something like "we need to talk, i got info on your fam."

i dunno how to take that...dunno whether it's a good thing or a bad thing...

if i go to sleep now, i can talk to him in 6 hours...

i love my babe so freaken much!!! the other day we were talking, and i said some stupid shit that He always tells ME...i hurt his feelings so bad, i could hear it in his voice...he started to apologize for everything he's done and what-not...funny how 5 little words can make such a big difference...

we've been good at staying in touch lately...

"i can't wait til you finish school, so we can finally move-in together"
"if you were my age we'd be the big question, or on our way there"
"you almost had me"
"i miss you"
"i know"
"be careful, i know"

babe is so cute about saying i know...when he says it in regular tone it means literally...but when his voice gets soft, it's his way of saying "i love you"...either that, or he says it straight out...

lol...today our convo was getting rough, and he knew he was in the wrong, so he bursts out with "i love you, i'm sorry" omGosh!!! it was so freaken CUTE!!!

since he rarely tells me, i melt when he does...

i love my babe!!!

self explanatory, vice versa???

wenros — 2005-09-16T03:09:01-05:00

NOBODY KNOWS
By: The Tony Rich Project

I pretended I'm glad you went away
These four walls closin' more every day
And I'm dying inside
And nobody knows it but me
Like a clown I put on a show
The pain is real even if nobody knows
And I'm crying inside
And nobody knows it but me
Why didn't I say
The things I needed to say
How could I let my angel get away
Now my world is just a tumblin' down
I can say it so clearly
But you're nowhere around
The nights are lonely, the days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about
The love that we had
And I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me
I carry a smile when I'm broken in two
And I'm nobody without someone like you
I'm tremblin' inside and nobody knows it but me
I lie awake it's a quarter past three
I'm screamin' at night as if I thought
You'd hear me
Yeah my heart is callin' you
And nobody knows it but me
How blue can I get
You could ask my heart
But like a jigsaw puzzle it's been torn all apart
A million words couldn't say just how I feel
A million years from now you know
I'll be lovin' you still
The nights are lonely, the days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about
The love that we had
And I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me
Tomorrow mornin' I'm hitting the dusty road
Gonna find you wherever, ever you might go
I'm gonna unload my heart and hope you come back to me
Said when the nights are lonely...
The nights are lonely, the days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about
The love that we had
And I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me

crazy weekend...

wenros — 2005-09-18T07:09:36-05:00

man, this weekend was so much fun...

but i have to do some shit, so i'll have to write about it later...

muah!!!

awesomeness!!!

wenros — 2005-09-19T02:09:02-05:00

so yeah...

i was talking to my vieja and she was telling me about her weekend...

turns out she went to a gay club and won a stripping contest...

LMFAO!!! this is awesome!!! she won 100 $$$$ !!! that's freaken awesome!!!

so yeah...i'm happy!!! woo-hoo...sadly i wasn't there to see any of this nudity!!!

yay!!!

wenros — 2005-09-21T12:09:03-05:00

so yeah...

babe and i had a really long, deep talk the other day...

we discussed our life plans and even though there might be some bumps in the road, together we're going to overcome them, just like always...

also, starting next month, which is [supposed] to be our 3 year anniversary, i am going to wear the ring he got me for x-mas...

the awesome thing is that it's now considered as a promise ring!!! and eventually, of course, there will be an engagement ring in it's place...

i love my babe so freaken much!!!

oh yeah, another thing...starting yester-night...i'm his responsibility...he's going to take care of me from now on...so if anything is needed, i go to him first, instead of my parents or family...that was the case before, but it has so much more of a meaning now...

*sometime soon he's going to have a little convo with my father, they've gotten really close in the past 3 years or so...his parents like me a lot too!!! and his family as well...we're supposed to be the "perfect" couple, so far, i think we've done good*

i also talked to him about the promise i'm going to re-make...i'm going for second time virgin...i'm going to wait at least another year or 2 before i make my promise, just to give me time to get back into the spiritual/religion atmosphere...

yesterday was such a rough day for me, the only thing i wanted, was to be in his arms, but i couldn't...

i might go home this weekend, cause it's supposed to rain really bad, cause of the hurricane, and i can't stand the rain and lightning and crap, so i'll prolly have a little breakdown and what-not...

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!! almost to the point of maybe falling back IN-LOVE with him...

question:

wenros — 2005-09-21T03:09:56-05:00

why are guys such asses??? or just people in general...

it makes me so mad, well not really, but it hurts more than anything...

so yeah, i found out, that at some point, there was a rumor of some sort that i had slept with one of the guys in my house...i didn't even know this was being said, until one of the guys asked me if it was true...

worst part about this, the person who might've started this, sleeps in the same room as i do...yup, my room mate and her buddy friend...

ugh it makes me so mad...but whatever, they can say what they want, i won't waste my breathe on stooping down to their level...

and another thing:

it hurts so bad when you think a guy is your friend, but he only wants to sleep with you...well not really, but he was trying to take advantage of the state i was in...oh so i heard from my pal...

guys are so freaken messed up, and girls too...life sucks, people are weird...

fuck it, that's life...lol...

no subject

wenros — 2005-09-21T07:09:34-05:00

Classes Cancelled Beginning Thursday

Sam Houston State University has cancelled classes beginning Thursday, and will be housing up to 1,000 evacuees in three campus locations. Space in those locations will be assigned by emergency management personnel. University operations will continue through noon Friday, when non-essential personnel may be released at the discretion of supervisors. Parent/Family Weekend activities have been re-scheduled for Nov. 4-6. Anyone with motel reservations is urged to cancel to provide more evacuee space. As of 5 p.m. Wednesday, the Saturday football game has not been cancelled. If held, admission to the football game will be free. University employees are urged to contact their respective vice presidents concerning volunteering to help with hosting evacuees before, during and after the storm hits. In addition, the Office of Student Activities' BOLD program, scheduled for Friday, has been postponed, as well as the Hurricane Katrina Benefit Concert, scheduled for Saturday. No dates have been set for either event. The Slide Presentation and Exhibit Reception at the the Gaddis Geeslin Gallery has been rescheduled from Thursday Sept. 22nd, to Thursday, October 13.

sexual frustration...

wenros — 2005-09-22T12:09:20-05:00

so yeah...

babe was going to come over today, but it was going to take him about 12 hours to get here from houston, which is supposed to be a 1 hour trip, or less...

so yeah, now i am officially sexually frustrated!!!

but it's all good cause he owes me about 5 hours or so of INCREDIBLE SEX!!!

lol...life is so fucking awesome at times!!!

yay me!!! i am so happy cause i know the next time i see him, i will be able to relieve my stress!!! or frustration!!!

oh yeah, he also said that the rappers "bird man" and "lil wayne" are shooting a video a couple of streets down from my house!!! awesome-ness..if i really cared about rappers and ass shakers, then i would give a shit, or what-not...

so yeah, some people from the house stayed, mainly people from the 2nd floor...but that's cause we have family down in houston, sugar land and areas that are close to galveston...

i really hope not too much hurt comes from this hurricane or what-ever it is labeled as...

ROGER GOOD LUCK WHEREVER YOU ARE!!! TAKE CARE, HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON!!! MUAH!!!

evacuees taking shelter in my college...

wenros — 2005-09-22T02:09:28-05:00

so yeah, steven and i went for a walk...

there are about 20 buses or so at the parking lot...

we are supposed to be 'fuging about a thou hurricane victims...

they need volunteers, but i think i am going to do it tomorrow...

i'm scared cause the colisium is right behind my house!!! across the parking lot of course, but then again, the parking lot isn't all that big...

so yeah...just my late night input

fucking assholes!!!

wenros — 2005-09-22T07:09:00-05:00

why the fuck do people have to be so stupid... i do nothing but befriend them, and this is what they do to me...

i feel like shit, and there is no one to talk to...

talked to babe so many times today, but it just makes me want to be with him even more!!!

my parents and family were giving me shit cause i am staying here and babe wants to come for me...johnny overheard and started walking out the door saying he was coming for me...it turned into a big family argument...mother started to give me shit about this is a lesson i'm learning from and what-not...jesse was like "i asked you to come home, you said no, so deal with it"...

i wanted to go home, i really did...but babe and i agreed that it's safer here, besides i have much homework to do...they had me feeling like shit...

the people here weren't helping either...they're such asses for no particular reason...

my good friend duane calls and makes me feel so much better...he's awEsomE with a capital E...!!! thank you so much duane!!!

afterwards, babe calls me saying he was talking to johnny and told him he's the reason i stayed here...yola somehow gets in the convo and babe tells her the same thing, that i'm safer there...they talk about me not having money or anything and babe says "see how much ya know, she has 50 dollars" they all shut up and yola says something about "baby-ing me"...

babe talks personal with johnny and says "you know i LOVE vanessa right??? i wouldn't let anything happen to her, she's safer there, trust me..." johnny says something like "i know, but i just want to tell her i love her" johnny starts crying cause he doesn't want anything to happen to me...he called me a little after their convo...we started crying and saying "i love you"...i miss my brother!!!

so yeah...babe is to the point of just telling everyone everything, well not everything, but the main points...and how when i'm at home they can say what goes, but when i'm at school, he's the one responsible for me...

point being: babe took the blame for me staying at school, so that way my parents and family would leave me alone...

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!!

lol...he says when we're walking down the isle, he's going to tell everyone "FUCK YOU"...lol...

i can't wait til i'm 21!!! that's when i can really scream out that i love him!!! omGosh, by then it'll be 6 years!!! agh!!! i dunno how much more of this i can take...but i love him, so i'm willing to go through it all...

I LOVE YOU BABE!!!

today @ sam

wenros — 2005-09-23T07:09:17-05:00

University Closed Through Monday

Sam Houston State University will close at noon Friday through Monday. Operations will resume as usual on Tuesday unless further announcements are made.

ALL BUILDINGS WILL BE CLOSED, WITHOUT EXCEPTION.

The university canceled classes until Tuesday and is housing an estimated 1,000 evacuees at three campus locations (see photo below). Those locations are full and occupation is limited by availability of medical and other services.

Volunteers are still needed and will be through early next week until the evacuees can return to their homes. University faculty, staff, and students are encouraged to call 936.294.1740 to receive an assignment. Volunteers will be asked to work in six-hour shifts---noon-6 p.m.; 6 p.m.-midnight; midnight-6 a.m.; 6 a.m.-noon---and they will be needed as long as the university houses the evacuees. Volunteers are asked to wear SHSU shirts and comfortable shoes. Also, campus coordinators are asking for donations of blankets, pillows, diapers and feminine items for use at the shelters.

latest news on personal life...

wenros — 2005-09-23T10:09:32-05:00

so yeah...babe and i were talking on the phone...

he started to ask about the ring, and if i was wearing it yet...it seemed as if he was bothered about it, so i was like "fine then, i won't wear it"...

and to my surprise he says the following:

"baby, i want to tell you something, you're officially my unofficial fiance"

i was shocked, the only thing that i could say was "promise promise???"

so yeah...it's going to be official when he gets to do it all big and what-not...i.e when i see a donkey walk out of the bushes with a sign on his tummy...lol...that was his example...

funny, it's official, but i can't jump with joy yet!!! agh!!! well i am jumping with joy, but i can't tell my family...

now i gotta wait a couple more years and see where it goes from there...

I LOVE MY BABE SO FREAKEN MUCH!!! *secretly almost in-love*

oh yeah, i gotta turn off my comp and put everything up cause in case the light goes out, i don't want it burn or anything like that...

much luck to anyone that is still in houston *my family and friends*

holy crap a huge wind or rain just ran past my window...i'm scared!!! AGH!!!

lol...friends come and go...

wenros — 2005-09-25T03:09:07-05:00

so yeah...

it seems to be over between a certain friend and i...i totally respect that, you can't make someone be your friend, so if ending the friendship is what's needed, then so be it...

funny how for some weird reason it can't end on a good note, like a hug or something...but it's all good...

funny thing said "don't want to see my name..."... LMFAO!!! their name hasn't been in my shit for a handful of days now, so that's funny...

it had to happen sooner or later, glad it's over with though...some day we'll cross each other's path, and they know, they're welcome anytime...

life has it's mysteries, we just have to deal with them...

much love and luck to a lost friend...

today @ sam...

wenros — 2005-09-25T05:09:56-05:00

--Photo by Brian Blalock

Almost Back to Normal

Sam Houston State University's 1,147 Hurricane Rita-evacuee guests were gone by Sunday afternoon, with clean-up under way in the coliseum and kinesiology and dance buildings. State officials were answering questions about traffic flows and fuel supplies at 1.800.492.5252.

James F. Gaertner, SHSU president, thanked everyone who helped since evacuees began arriving last Wednesday.

"I was extremely impressed with the way everyone pitched in and organized for this unbelievable act of kindness to those who were displaced, " he said. "Thank you all for what I am sure was a personally satisfying experience, as it was for Nancy and me, and for representing Sam Houston so well."

As of Sunday afternoon, a unit of the U. S. Army National Guard remained in the Bowers Stadium parking area, awaiting possible assignment to the hurricane-stricken area east of Huntsville.

The university will be closed through Monday. Classes and other operations will resume Tuesday.

yummy monday!!!

wenros — 2005-09-27T10:09:27-05:00

babe came over monday...

as steven, hun-e-bun and i were pulling into the driveway, i saw him come in as well...

i got so excited just looking at him...lol...

he got here, we walked in, we layed on the bed for about 5 minutes, then we took a shower...

INCREDIBLE, WOW, MARVELOUS!!!! ETC... it was very good...

we were there for just a bit though, about 45 minutes or so...but i wanted to spend time time with him, just laying there or something...well him really, i just wanted ANY time with him...he was all about laying in bed, holding each other, watching TV...lol...he's awesome!!!

around 5.40 or so he left back home, cause we didn't want the traffic to get him...

I LOVE MY BABE SO MUCH!!!

he sent me 2 e-mails, which i got around 12.30 or so, and the first thing that came to mind was to call him...awww he was asleep, he has to be up around 5 or so...i only said how much i love him, and what-not...

i stayed up til 3 doing some studying, so when i got back into my room, i replied to his 10 messages...lol...we're such freaks, even with e-mails/text mails...lol...

but i don't care cause I LOVE MY BABY AND HE LOVES ME!!! i wouldn't have it any other way!!!

interesting night...

wenros — 2005-09-28T02:09:19-05:00

so i asked amber to take me to wal-mart...hun-e-bun and i went...

we get what we needed, since there is hardly anything left at wal-mart due to infamous RITA...

we come back to school to find the gas station closed...seems awkard for it to be closed at 7.30...as we turn right onto school grounds EVERYTHING IS TURNED OFF!!! it was freaken scary coming into a black hole in the world...the funny thing is that we're all scared of the dark!!! lol...

the power was out for about 2.5 hours or so...i didn't even realize it was off for that long...i was too busy speaking love words to BABE!!! we're such asses with each other i think it's starting to turn me on...lol...

we go outside for a bit, cause i fixed me a sandwich and some Koolade...david, lyndsey, kayla, hun-e-bun and i sit at the back table...it's freaken hilarous with hun-e-bun around!!! i so missed him over the weekend!!!

some one popped fireworks on the football field...aww!!! lol... after a while we go back inside...and to our luck at around 11.10 or so the lights come back on...AWESOME!!!

we go outside for a really long time and carve hun-e-bun's pumpkin...steven says so many racists jokes, and amber proves one of the blonde jokes..."how do you keep a blonde in suspense?" "{some words}" and amber (blonde) says "you didn't say the answer, what is it?" LMAO!!! poor girl, we all busted out laughing!!! as steven was saying his jokes, i kept saying smart shit back to him to ruin them...lol...kayla thought my remarks made the jokes funner..lol...steven and i wrestled for a bit cause he's such an ass...lol...

kayla gets hungry so we leave the house at 12.10 and head out to jack cause steven wants it...the line is long, so we go to mc d's...the line there is long, so we go to whataburger..dumbass takes a long as way to get there, so we end up going back to mc d's...we order our shit and we end up going back home around 2...

kayla and i stay up to do some studying, and i end up going to bed around 3.30-4...

some shit happened last night as kayla and i were downstairs, so i hope all is well...

home sweet home...

wenros — 2005-10-03T02:10:46-05:00

went home for the weekend...

jesse picked me up after work, it was funnily weird to see him at the door with about 4 guys in my room...lol...he's so cute when he's over protective...lol...i made him a sandwich and we were on our way...

the first thing i wanted to do was to call babe...but i just walked in, hoping to get a chance to call him...as i walked in the back room i see some familiar boots...IT WAS BABE!!! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!!

we bummed together the whole freaken weekend!!!

SEX IS AWESOME!!! I LOVE HIM, I LOVE SEX, see how perfectly it goes together?!?!?! lol...

i told him about my sex cravings...lol...we ended up in like a 4 hour convo or something...awww...then we had INCREDIBLE SEX!!! YUMMY!!! i love getting into intimate discussions and ending up in the bed, or in the kitchen...lol...we're such freaks, i have to admit it, we have sex any place we get a chance to...

as i held him in the dark doorway of the kitchen, i tip-toed and wispered "i want to be your girlfriend" as i kissed him soft and passionately...he was smiling while kissing me and replied "i want to be your boyfriend"...we didn't agree on it though, so that was the funny part...

as i ate afterwards he sat next to me and says "so you're mines" me} are you asking or telling...him} telling...i love it when he's in control...i think that's why i let him get his way, cause *secretly* it turns me on!!! lol...

we've become so open with each other that i know so much about him...

16 more days til i wear MY RING!!! lol... I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!!

oh yeah, he told me that he's in love with me, and even though i don't feel the same way, i told him that i am sure that i love him, and A LOT!!! i miss him so much, i guess that's why i don't like to be in my room, cause when i'm here, i start to think about him, and how much i want him here with me, laying next to me...

*sigh* the day i can sleep with him, and not worry about getting caught is the day i will finally be happy!!!

it's about time...

wenros — 2005-10-15T04:10:27-05:00

so i finally got the nerve to take pics of myself...

thus meaning i have finally created a photobucket account...

i'll make a link to it sometime before halloween...

hun-e-bun let me steal 1 of his digi-cams...

woo-hoo!!!

wenros — 2005-10-16T04:10:44-05:00

what an awesome night!!! spur of the moment events are such bad ass adventures!!! loving college life and all that it throws at me...except homework, it can keep that...lol...

these are just the first 3 months of school, still have about 6-7 to go...woo-hoo!!!!

i'ma have to update later about the night....

fucking hilarous!!!

wenros — 2005-10-17T02:10:14-05:00

people have the nerve!!! the latest rumor around my house is that i am PREGNANT!!! that's some funny ass shit!!! people have nothing better to do with their time than say shit!!! the last time i checked there was a tampon stuck up there, so it's either i'm on my period or i have seem to lost my "baby"...LMFAO!!!

i think this is quite funny cause there are a number of people who might have started this...there is one person in particular though that i wonder why in the fuck they would say anything other than "i don't know"...but it's all good...i guess this shows that people have nothing better to do with their time...

the other person who might've started this is just a loose tongue!!! their fucking assholes with literally NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN GOSSIP...lmao...people like these are quite entertaining...

then again, i feel so loved cause they are taking their time to think about me...aww!!! aren't i loved??? awesome-ness!!! woo-hoo!!!

people are fucking awesome!!! lmao...so yeah...my aquantance list is getting longer while the people i think matter or have some reason to matter are getting shorter...

i can't get through to babe's cell, so i'll have to tell him this funny story later...

so back to pretending that i was going to do my 3 page paper that is due in 12 hours...

goodnight and toodles to all!!!

lol...damn these quizzes!!!

wenros — 2005-10-18T08:10:11-05:00

so i went to a blog, and it had the slut test thing...and to my surprise, this was my score:

The Results ARE IN! You are:
        63%
Slut Your above score was normalized against the average, so don't even TRY to disagree with us. Science is certain, and so are we: you are absolutely 63% Slutty.

happy anniversary to me!!!

wenros — 2005-10-19T01:10:46-05:00

i'm so freaken happy!!! if my time is correct, today is my 3 year anniversary!!! i'm so freaken happy...there are so many things running through my mind, all i want to do is have him here in my arms, and hug him and all that good stuff...

i'm so freaken excited, i am going to start wearing my ring today!!! yay!!!

back to watching Lion King with Andrew...

AGH!!! i did it!!! finally!!!

wenros — 2005-10-21T10:10:39-05:00

so yeah, since it's UNIDIVERSITY WEEK on our campus, there are events going around...the blood drive came wednesday, but since yesterday was thursday i was sorta happy that it had passed...so hun-e-bun and i walk through the mall area, and i notice that the blood drive sign is up...so we go inside and their like "yeah, it's downstairs"...i sucked it up and walked in...

the whole time i was so freaken nervous...then he tells me that the needle is bigger than the regular ones..oh -no!!!

i kept my cool, and went to the booth thingy...the guy pricked my finger for anemia sample and i let out a slight scream...the stupid thing hurt...lol...

then it was time for the blood drawing...luckily the chairs were full...i saw hun-e-bun getting strapped in, so i sat in the chair next to his...the guy who was doing him was cool...he saw that i was scared/nervous, so he started to make jokes about it...

"it's ok, this is going to be our first time, for me and you"...
"let me just take a sip of my jack and coke and we can get started"

those were just 2 of the things he was saying...lol...he was so cool, and helped ease my nerves...

so yeah, then it was my turn, i was so freaken scared, my eyes were starting to get watery...some girl, who has done this 2wice already, was there, and she was trying to relax me...so she started to talk to me, to get my attention, and from no-where...the man sticks the needle in my arm...i scream again...

after my bag was filled, they did the tubes, and that felt so awesome!!! when he would push up the tube, i could feel my blood jerk a little, then relax...it was a cool feeling...

then it was time for him to take it out...i wanted to see the needle, so i cheated, while he pulled up the cloth a little, i took a peek, which i regret cause seeing the needle and how big it was made me scream yet again...there was this cute guy across the floor, and he looked at me and just smiled...

as he was putting on the bandage, i saw the not so little whole in my arm...

i just took off the little bandage about 15 minutes ago, and i noticed that it had bleed...then i see some skin...it's the freaken whole in my arm...the skin is raised, as if i slide my nail under it, i can tear it off...but it's small about the size of an ' ....so it's not that bad...

self-explanator...

wenros — 2005-10-23T12:10:26-05:00

3 Doors Down-Landing in London

I woke up today in London
As the plane was touching down
And all I could think about was monday
And maybe ill be back around

If this keeps me away much longer
I dont know what i will do
Youve got to understand its a hard life
That im going through

And when the night falls in around me
I dont think ill make it through
Ill use your light to guide the way
Cause all I think about is you

Well L.A is getting kinda crazy
And New york is getting kinda cold
I keep my head from geting lazy
I just cant wait to get back home

And all these days i spend away
Ill make up for this i swear
I need your love to hold me up
When its all too much to bear

And when the night falls in around me
I dont think ill make it through
Ill use your light to guide the way
Cause all I think about is you

And all these days i spend away
Ill make up for this i swear
I need your love to hold me up
When its all too much to bear

When the night falls in around me
I dont think ill make it through
Ill use your light to guide the way
Cause all I think about is you

freaken cold outside!!!

wenros — 2005-10-24T11:10:54-05:00

Current Conditions Huntsville, TX

Fair 46°F

UV Index: 1 (Low)

Dewpoint: 33°F

Humidity: 61%

Visibility: 10 mi

Pressure: 30.33 in and rising

Wind: From the North-Northwest at 8 mph

Time: 10:03 AM

Sunrise: 7:32 AM

Sunset: 6:41 PM

Feels Like

42°F

Reported by Huntsville, TX on 10/24/2005 08:53 AM
Data cached for thirty minutes

suicide is amongst us all...

wenros — 2005-10-27T11:10:24-05:00

On-Campus Suicide a Hidden Killer

By E.J. Mundell
HealthDay Reporter Thu Oct 27, 7:02 PM ET

THURSDAY, Oct. 27 (HealthDay News) -- Back in 1998, Ron Gibori was a fraternity brother to bright, popular Jed Satow, a 20-year-old University of Arizona sophomore whose suicide that year shocked his family and friends.

"I made a promise at his memorial service that I would try and do something to make sure other students like myself would never have to lose a friend," Gibori said.

Then, less than six months later, another of Gibori's fraternity brothers took his own life. "I realized then that the promise I had made at Jed's memorial service couldn't go unfulfilled," he said.

Joining forces with Jed's parents Phillip and Donna Satow, Gibori helped create The Jed Foundation, a New York City-based nonprofit organization dedicated to raising awareness of the problem of suicide on America's college campuses.

According to Gibori, approximately 1,100 U.S. college students take their own lives each year. Nobody's sure if that number is rising or falling -- according to Gibori, a steep increase in on-campus suicides has been charted over the past 40 years, but that could simply reflect a more honest reporting of an event that's been too long cloaked in shame.

"Suicide is still an unexplored social taboo in our society today," Gibori said. Breaking that taboo is the key goal of The Jed Foundation and its Web-based help service, www.Ulifeline.org.

Students in trouble who head to the site can get youth-friendly, anonymous mental health information, as well as links to on-campus mental health centers at more than 530 U.S. colleges. "Right now, over 5 million students have access to the program," Gibori said.

The need is real. According to Los Angeles psychologist Michael Peck, a specialist in youth suicide, college can be a dangerous time for troubled young people.

Many are emotionally immature, he said, and while their newfound independence from parents is liberating, it can be scary, too. Alcohol and drugs are readily available, and the pressure to achieve and fit in can be overwhelming, especially at prestige schools.

In fact, "a study I did years ago found that elite colleges have much higher suicide-event rates than small, local community colleges," Peck said. Much of that owes to the fact that students attending smaller, local colleges are also more likely to be living in the relative comfort and safety of the family home.

"Elite colleges also come with higher stress because there's much more pressure on succeeding," he said. "When students aren't succeeding, they feel like they're failing both themselves and their parents, who are often paying a lot of money for these schools."

And Peck pointed to another grim phenomenon: The fact that suicide can be "contagious" on campus. "Students are closely packed together, so a suicide attempt or death may trigger other suicidal behavior by other students," he said. "That's always a problem."

There are warning signs, he said:

Apathy. "You'll see a drop-off in school participation, and a falling of grades and class attendance," Peck said.
Distance. Friends and family may notice a change in closeness or communication. "This might not always be in terms of frequency," Peck noted. "The student may still call his parents every Sunday like he's supposed to; but instead of the usual conversation, it's just 'Hi Mom, Dad, everything's fine, talk to you later.'"
Substance abuse. Friends, especially, should react to any abnormal increase in drinking or drug-taking behavior with concern, the psychologist said.
Unexplained gifts. "This actually happens a lot," Peck said. "A student will come to you and say 'I know you're taking chemistry -- here are my books, I won't need them anymore.'" These types of acts are usually a cry for help, he said -- something friends need to be sensitive to.

"Friends are the key ingredient here," Peck said. "Usually, if the student is going to tell anybody that they are at risk, they'll tell a friend." And he believes those closest to at-risk students need to be "understanding, not dismissive," and urge them to head for mental-health counseling.

Parents can also play a key role. "They need to be open to that idea that there can always be problems," he said, and to ease up on the pressure if their child seems to be struggling at school.

If and when problems do surface, parents may need to take decisive action. "They even have to be willing, in extreme circumstances, to bring their child home," Peck said.

Colleges have done much to raise awareness of campus suicide in the past decade or two, Peck said. "Most have a hotline now, a mental-health service, specific rules about partying and hazing," he said.

And yet students like Jed Satow can still fall through the cracks.

"I think the thing people say most often is, 'This can never happen to me, or to my friend,'" Gibori said. "There's that perception out there that people who are depressed are all dressed in black, pierced and tattooed."

But even the most outwardly cheerful, wholesome students can be struggling with hidden demons.

"My two friends in the fraternity who took their lives were probably two of the most popular kids there -- the most liked and the most sociable," Gibori said. "So the key message is that if you don't want it to be you or your friend, get educated on the warning signs, and know that depression is treatable, because everyone is vulnerable."

More information

For much more on campus suicide risks and prevention, visit The Jed Foundation.

prayers needed!!! any and all count...

wenros — 2005-10-28T03:10:31-05:00

when we went to our Sam 136 class, we found out the loud guy who sits 2 seats down from me, Eric, was involved in a car accident. he went home for the weekend, and on the way back he fell asleep at the wheel. we were told that he has a skull fracture, and he won't leave the hospital for another 2 weeks. he got up about 2 days ago, to use the bathroom, so he's starting to recover...

the worst part:

eric somehow hit another vehicle, and the guy he hit DIED ON IMPACT!!!

eric's family knows of this, but they haven't broken the news to him...

my prayers go out to eric and his family, and especially to the family who lost their son...may god welcome him with open arms...

life freaken sucks...

wenros — 2005-11-02T06:11:57-05:00

this is me hating everything that comes my way...for some ABSURD reason shit isn't going good for me...well it is, but not as good as i'd like it to be...why does shit like this happen??? just realized that i haven't written in this thing for a while now...weird...

life is going iffy at the moment, there are people who i really don't need in my life at the moment and it just bothers me the way they are...why do people have to be like this??? AGH!!!

school is ok, i mean, what can i say, i'm in college...

there has been so much stuff i've done, that i just don't get around to writing it down...dunno, it's all good though, cause as long as i don't hurt anyone, it's all good...

i'm so happy that babe and i are together, his support means so much to me...lmao, today i was feeling like crap, really tired...i called babe 2wice, and at the 2nd one i left him a voicemail...just as i was hanging up, he calls me back...so i tell him that i am planning on ditching class cause i'm so freaken tired...he busts out with, oh heck no, i'm not working my ass off just so you can stay home and not go to class...so in the end i take a shower and get to class like 30 late...

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!! i know i'd be happy if i wasn't with him, but i also know that there will be a vacant spot in my heart, where he is...*sigh* i don't want to lose him ANYMORE...we went through so much shit, it's only fair that we stay together...

I LOVE HIM!!! I LOVE EDUARDO CORONADO!!!

lol...

wenros — 2005-11-03T12:11:14-05:00

so i took that silly "how bisexual are you" quiz that is on callie69 blog...and to surprise...my score says:

You are 73% Bisexual...

lol that is too funny...

ummm...

wenros — 2005-11-04T05:11:49-05:00

what an interesting day...last night was such a blast...my brother jesse came over after work...

we went to eat at a local restaurant, Jose's...

turns out his co-worker was the 1st boxer at the sigma chi fight night thingy...and of course he won!!! woo-hoo!!! he put some hands on that other guy...

i met his co-workers, who are cool...they're young...so yeah...there was one in particular, he graduated from SAM HOUSTON already, and he's CUTE!!! he was the main one i was talking to...he has braces, and that is usually a turn off for me, but last night it was a TURN-ON!!! he talks so sweet too...he's funny, i was telling him about me not drinking cause my brother taught me well and what-not, then just as i finished, my brother asks who wants more to drink, so the guy looks at me and says "do you want something"...lmao...he was just testing me...man, that smile is ADDICTING!!!

so yeah...some fights were good, others could've been better...then there was the upper weight fights...my bro's co-workers were rooting for the blue team...and infront of us, were the guys for the red team...as we were rooting, they were getting so pissed...so yeah..there was about 5-7 black guys, and our guys were about 4 of them, and white...lmao...it was funny...so as i saw them starting to get loud, i started to look for my brother...he was no where's to be found...the freaken security people get involved and they get taken inside the club to calm down...when my brother finally came out he was all crunk...lol...he's awesome...

so yeah, about the guy, we started to walk closer to the ring cause somehow we managed to be really back...the guy was walking infront of me, and as i was walking i noticed amber, kaylah and clare...so i walk to them and bum with them for a bit...when i get back to my brother he just smiles...but the guy is like "where did you go, i was looking for you, don't leave like that"... AWWW!!! man, was he CUTE!!!

*well i'ma finish updating cause i gotta go*

saying goodbye will be hard...

wenros — 2005-11-06T12:11:19-05:00

let's see where do i start??? oh yeah, from the beginning...

friday afternoon/night-ish...nathan comes down with steven and katie (RA) is on her way out...nathan's dumbass says "hey katie what's up" and walks into chase's room...nathan can't be on property cause he's considered a "traspasser" cause he got kicked out of our dorm months ago...so kaite walks out and a couple minutes later she walks in with UPD!!!

zaki is sitting on the couch, and he sees the cops knocking at chase's door...amber looks through the peep whole, turns around and says "it's the cops"...so nathan and kaylah run through andres's window and get away, as eric is closing the door to the restroom, amber is opening the door...

eric tries to jump out the window like the other 2 did, but the cops see him, and follow...the cops had to struggle him down and finally handcuff him...he gets arrested for evading arrest...

i come inside the house and the cops and RM (daren) walk into andres room and pull out a 30 pack of beer, they had finished the other 30 pack before the raid...

amber, chase, steven and eric are outside being talked to by the cops...

they all get M.I.P's and their fate is going to be decided at a meeting sometime monday...kaylah and nathan get called back with the cops saying "if you don't return for your ticket you're going to be arrested"...

nathan is now kicked out of Sam Houston, and the other 5 might be kicked out of our house...we think eric might be for sure cause he went to jail...

so saturday comes around, and still we haven't heard anything from eric...later around 7 or so juanita *mentor* walks into the room saying his bail is 500 and with other fees and what-not, it's at $900 !!!

around 7.30 we get a call from eric's mom saying he's in the hospital cause he got beat by the cops...she talks to katie, who then makes a report about it...

we're hearing different versions on whether there really was police brutality or not...some people say they saw nothing of the sort, and eric is saying that they hit him in the back with the stick 2wice and what-not...

eric hasn't made it home yet, he told hun-E-bun he was coming home last night around 8.30, but still no sign of him...

oh yeah, amber went home to talk to her parents...kaylah, chase, nathan, and steven went to steven's house in tomball to just "steam" it off...

man, i love school...

i hate this!!!

wenros — 2005-11-06T11:11:59-05:00

i fucking want to DIE!!!

i fucking want to DIE!!!

i fucking want to DIE!!!

so freaken happy!!!

wenros — 2005-11-10T05:11:15-05:00

i'm so freaken happy...can't wait...my hun is coming over today...so yay!!! this is me so freaken happy!!!

i can't wait for him to get here...i've been waiting *patiently* since last week or so for him to get here...lol...

i love him so much!!! he's gonna stay with me and go home tomorrow, around noon-ish or so...I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!!

life as it comes this way...

wenros — 2005-11-15T08:11:27-05:00

so yeah...all is well on my side of the town...

there is some devestating news going around my house...one of my favorite pair of pants has taken it's toll...i have this HUGE rip on the back of my right thigh, it goes from the outside of my leg, to my vagina!!!

i love these pants, they are one of my favorite ones, and i don't want to throw them away, so my good friend MORGAN is going to sew a patch of some fabric, then we're going to sew some patches randomly on the jeans so it can see really nice, instead of torn...lol...

so yeah, other than that, i am doing fine...

i was finally able to finish registering for my classes today, i got up at my usual 8.30 time, then around 9.45 i ran across the street to my BLC advisor and he did some few changes to my schedule and added me some classes, so now i am going to take 15 hours instead of my wanting 12...but it's all good cause i like my schedule...

let's see...if i copy and paste it, i hope it shows correctly, and doesn't mess up...so here it goes:

Course Days Time
Hrs

HIS
TUTH 1230-0150
3
ENG
MOWEFR 0900-0950
3
C J TUTH 1100-1220
3
MTH
MOWEFR 1000-1050
3
THR
MOWEFR 1100-1150
3

college buds are awesome...

wenros — 2005-11-19T09:11:35-05:00

so yesterday a bunch of us were having a shitty life...different reasons of course...well not really...lol...so yeah...

we went to work out at the HKC...then we came home took showers and got dressed...around 9 or so we headed out to Margaritas which is a mexican restaurant...it was 8 in all...Lyndsey, Amanda, Morgan, Myself, Larry, Christina, Zack Attack and Aaron...it was awesome...

afterwards i rode back with the girls and we went to the Sam Houston statue to take pics...it was creepy cause 4 guys were walking out of the parking lot and us 4 girls were walking in...lmao...

after that i got back home and lyndsey and aaron weren't here yet, so i came up to my room...the 3 of us were supposed to have a slumber party, but lyndsey wanted to sleep in early cause we were volunteering today for Sat. @ Sam...

so yeah...it was Aaron and I when i got the crazy idea...you see, there is a pamphlet "prison driving tour" of huntsville...but since we didn't have cars i decided to make it into a walking tour...lol...i got dressed, as if i was from alaska says nahaira and we headed out...on the way out i saw michael otto, so i invited him...

it was such fun...the guys are such dumbasses, they thought it was hilarous when they looked back all scared and said "fuck, he's coming"...and me like the dumbass didn't even bother to look, and ran off...they were running behind me laughing their asses off!!! it was funny...we finally got back home at 1.30...our walk started at midnight and we weren't even tired...lol...well just a little...

funny fact, the prison is about 2-3 blocks from my dorm...long blocks of course...

after we got home we told chase all the crazy things that happened...like having rifles pointed at us by the nightwatchmen...and the prison guard on the intercom saying "step away from the premisis, get back on the other side of the street"...a crazy man chasing us with an axe...trucks following us around the blocks...sherriffs questioning us who we were and asking for identification...the guys almost getting arrested for having their knives out in the street while we were walking...and people popping out of know-wheres with scratches on their heads and arms...

all in all it was a fun night...

tonight we're supposed to go to 3 cemetaries, i think...

very long night...

wenros — 2005-11-20T08:11:22-05:00

I AM JUST COMING INTO MY ROOM FROM A VERY LONG NIGHT...

IT'S 7 FREAKEN ALMOST 30 AM...

KAYLAH AND I JUST SPENT THE PAST 3 HOURS TALKING ABOUT FAMILY AND WHAT-NOT...I WANT A POWDERED DOUGHNUT!!!

I'VE CALLED BABE LIKE 3-4 TIMES SINCE LAST NIGHT AROUND 12 OR SO...I LOVE HIM SO MUCH...HE'S SO CUTE, HE CALLED ME WHEN HE GOT HOME, THEN HE CALLED ME AGAIN TO SAY HE WAS STAYING AT MY HOUSE...

SMOKING IS BAD!!!

VERY BAD!!!

DON'T START IF YOU HAVE...

LOVE COLLEGE!!!

lol...hollister boys...

wenros — 2005-11-20T09:11:20-05:00

so yeah...today christina, morgan, amanda and i went to woodlands mall...

we went to hollister where we met a hunk, rustin from tomball...he's 19 and a cutie...we were joking around with him and what-not...he said today was his first day...we talked about a couple of things...cute...

i was taking pics and morgan said something..."she did what?!?!?!" lol...that's what he said as he looked towards me...lol...

so yeah, i'm pretty sure we made his day...awesome...such a cutie!!!

i took a pic with him cause we were "models"...lol...he's awesome...

so yeah, i had a good day...

also on the way there some guy was looking at us...it was hilarous cause all of a sudden i look to my right and there is this guy staring at us...lol...scarily funny...lol...

check this out...

wenros — 2005-11-21T02:11:46-05:00

when it comes to the internet and people, i don't ever show a pic of myself...

but up until recently i've been feeling good about myself...

so there you have it, i have finally put up a pic of myself on my profile...

i think i look decent...oh yeah, i played with andrew's comp for a bit and sharpened up the pic really a lot...

when i have it at regular size it looks like a puzzle...awesome-ness

toodles to all...

wenros — 2005-11-22T02:11:51-05:00

hope everyone has a good and enjoyable thanksgiving...

i have to pack all my crap and make sure the room is clean before i check out...if not i'll get a 50$ fine or something silly like that...

hun-e-bun already left, and he wrote me an e-mail cause i wasn't there to tell him bye...

so yeah...toodles to all...since i don't have the internet at home anymore, i will be back sunday to give all juicy details of turkey break...

*muah*

juan is amazing...

wenros — 2005-11-28T01:11:19-05:00

so juan just called like a couple of minutes ago, and he invited me on a date...

he's so cute, just like a puppy...i think he does wag his tail...lol...

so anyways, he told me to dress nice cause it's a special occasion...

wonder where we're going...

he's here, gotta go...

yay...

wenros — 2005-11-30T10:11:04-05:00

i'm so happy...i went to the animal shelter today with larry, erica and her friend...

it was cool, i've been meaning to go since the week of hurricane rita cause we had found a puppy (chocolate lab to be exact) at Randell house...

it was so cute, she slept with me, and you could tell that she was house trained cause she would whine whenever she had to go to the restroom...

but anyways, so yeah, it was fun to go and play with all the left over animals...it sucks to know that people don't want or can't care for these adorable creatures...excpet one, the one in cage 18, he's a huge mean animal...he growls horribly when anyone comes remotely near him...he's really scary...

so yeah, now i am off to write my 2 page response paper for my sam 136 class...man being a freshman sucks, well not really, but some of the classes that are offered to you are sucky!!! like this freshman seminar class, there is so much writing involved, it's not even funny...but owell i gotta do it to keep good grades, it's like an easy A, if you do the work, if not then it becomes an easy F...lol...

good news to me...

wenros — 2005-12-01T06:12:37-05:00

so the other day i was checking my financial aid on the school website...and it shows that i FINALLY got the texas grant...

the texas grant was supposed to be given to me like in august, for the beginning of the school year, but since i just got approved for it, i am supposed to be receiving a check in the mail for $2,090.00...

i am so freaken happy!!! this means 2 things:

1. i can finally help my mother out like i've been wanting to...

and

2. with those 2,090.00 and fasfa 2,025.00 and my high school scholarship of 500.00, that's how much money i am supposed to have EACH semester!!! my semester is only about 4k something, so that means i will be getting a refund check every semester, if all goes well...

in order for me to keep this grant i have to maintain a 2.5 g.pa. for this year, and next year (sophmore) i have to maintain a 2.0!!!

i am praying so freaken hard that everything comes through smoothly...and that i keep my head up high to maintain good grades...

guys are funny..

wenros — 2005-12-01T08:12:47-05:00

so there is this one guy, whos name is Matt Morris, and he thinks he is so cool...but i have to give it to him, he's a better white guy than JUAN MANUEL RAMOS III...lmao...

so yeah, he's in our sam class, and he was in my group for the survival guide...he seems cool, he went to hightower with some of the guys in the house, so i guess that makes him ok...

we all went to the TREE LIGHTNING which is an annual event here at school, it's really awesome...

then afterwards we came to the java city for some hot chocolate...but for some weird reason the guy didn't charge us, so that's cool...

and now we're here playing on the comps, just talking about anything that comes to mind...

well it's 8 and we have to leave...so far it's a good night...

agh, forgot i have to do some english essays..

what a day...

wenros — 2005-12-04T01:12:58-05:00

today was such an interesting day...well only for a bit really, but that just set my whole day...

guys are awesome...college is awesome!!!! :)

and now i am going to sleep cause i am so freaken tired!!!

*sigh of relief*

wenros — 2005-12-06T12:12:05-05:00

so i got back from working out a little ago...feels good to start that up again...i so suck when it comes to working out cause i'm not very good about making myself go do it...lol...but it's all good, some day i will get into the gist of things...i wonder now how in the world i was able to run a mile or 2 in class and do a couple after school...i was in way better shape back then...

so i've gained a pound, but it's all good...i'm at 119.8 at the moment, and i'm hoping to drop down to 110 or 105, or somewhere in between...the last time i weighed this much was sophmore year, a couple of months before i met babe, and before i started volleyball...

so i did the bike again today...funny thing, usually i can only do like 6 minutes on it or so, but today i was able to do the full 10, prolly cause i was thinking a tad too much...then i did about 25-40 crunches on about 90 lbs...so that's good...i also did the back strengthening ones, i did about 25 of those as well...after that i did like one or two squats...lol...and like 20 or so leg stretches at ??? lbs...i think i did ok for today...oh on the bike i did 3.60 miles or km...and burned about forgot how many calories, but i burned some...lol...

today was an ok day...i had to wear my glasses cause my eyes were still hurting...i had to take out my contacts over the weekend cause i was crying in them and my eyes usually swell after i do so...went out for a bit and i started to get a headache and my eyes started hurting...it hurt to open my eyes fully, and the brightness of the store lights were hurting my eyes...i couldn't even close my eyes cause that hurt as well...it freaken hurt so i fell asleep....

in the process of sleeping i missed an important group meeting, and i know my group is going to be upset about that...but i'll have to e-mail them tomorrow...

life is awesome...i love my babe...we've been having downs lately, but we get through them like a good couple...i'm so glad that he likes to talk things out, otherwise things would be really really iffy...i love him so much!!! i miss him, i want to see him, but it all depends if i get a ride home on friday for the last day of school, which is next week...

finals are coming up...ouch, i am cramping, and it hurts...and i'm angry cause i haven't had sex...this sucks!!!

lol...aaron is my new boyfriend...he calls me his sweetie, hun and what-not...it's hilarous...he's awesome...he calls me one of the guys, so it's cool being with him...everyday is an adventure with him...i'm going to miss him so much over the break...MUAH!!! *to aaron*

ummm...

wenros — 2005-12-07T09:12:16-05:00

so life's been good so far...today is my little bro johnny's b-day, he's 20 now...i'm so proud of him...love him so much...i called him today around 4 ish something...he might come for me friday afternoon ish cause he's going to have a club party saturday night...i'll prolly stay at his place over the weekend then he'll drop me off sunday cause i have finals monday morning...

i think i'ma take some clothes home cause we have to be out of here by next friday noon...

katie is leaving us, so we're having a new ra for the spring...we're going to miss her...

i love my brother...

wenros — 2005-12-09T06:12:46-05:00

so johnny is coming for me...he gets off of work in a bit and babe is going to pick him up and from there they are coming for me...

i can't wait!!! i might stay at his house over the weekend...

lmao...my brothers friend just called me...his name is eric, he's 21, and no gf...lmao...he has that sexy black voice...i called babe and told him...i love my babe, i won't leave him anymore...

so now i have to pack some clothes, and get my homework together...

hope everyone has a great weekend...

finals are coming up!!! yay!!! can't wait!!!

and today is...

wenros — 2005-12-14T11:12:47-05:00

Today is HUMP DAY, HUMP DAY, HUMP DAY!!!

too bad there isn't humping in my day...:( but it's all good, i'll be going home soon... who am i kidding, i just humped hun-E-bun's leg...lol...he's awesome...

so i've been up for a couple of hours, supposed to be studying for cj final, but i'ma cheat on it instead, which is bad i know...then i have my english final, forgot to go to my review class on friday, so hope all goes well...

lol...i am talking to babe at the moment, i love him so much, it's hilarous!!!

under the influence...

wenros — 2005-12-15T06:12:17-05:00

so here i am talking on the phone with eduardo, and i'm HIGH!!!

lmao..

feels like i just woke up from a dream...

this is awesome...

i love him so much...

uh-oh...

wenros — 2005-12-15T10:12:46-05:00

i think i might've been bad while i was high last night...

i have no idea what to do...

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck...

just woke up around 9 something...

i'm going home today...yay, i am so happy...

please pray for my family...

wenros — 2006-01-09T02:01:32-05:00

my break started off bad, my mother called me monday morning the 11th of Dec. after a brief conversation she tells me that my 20 year old cousin Efren is missing...

he was supposed to come home sunday morning after going out with some of his teammates. he plays soccer for our village, so everyone basically knows who he is...

well he never came home...turns out he was chased at gun point and forced into a truck...

a couple of days later, some man comes to my family in mexico and says that he heard 2 gun shots late at night, and a truck speeding off...

ever since that sunday, the people who kidnapped him have sent letters to my uncle saying "dad i'm ok, i'm in another town, i'll be home this weekend"...they've even gone as far as saying they saw my cousin run away with a girl to another town...random people come to my uncles house saying they "saw" him in another town...

my 2 uncles Albert and Raymond went to Mexico and have gone like crazy town after town to search for him, and yet, nothing, no sign of him...

my cousins (his sisters) have searched the mountains and have found nothing...

some man said there was a bad stench coming from a well, about a week ago or so, so my uncles got a warrant and emptied it out, there was only a dead pig...

what makes me mad is the fact that my cousins and his parents (my uncle juan, and aunt Pule) know the people who kidnapped him...the Hernandez family is very infamous in our town...they have done so many bad things, and yet my cousins go to them like nothing...for example, my cousin who is missing has an elder sister, well about 10 years ago or so, she too was kidnapped by the same people, raped and held captive for a month...she was released, but pregnant with a daughter, Erica...

the same men who kidnapped my cousins have killed one of my uncles...and brutally...they befriended his cousin, and tricked him into coming outside, they kidnapped my uncle, and the letters started showing at my grandmothers house, and what-not...everything the same as now with my cousin...

after about a month or so of searching my uncle juan, who is the father of my cousin EFREN, was sent by my grandmother to get some firewood, he came home shortly to be yelled at by my grandmother...he didn't find firewood, but instead my uncles torn clothes drenched in blood...

after his clothes were found, everyone was in search of only bones, and any remains that could be found...my mother was about 10 or so at the time and she was at the murder scene...the story she tells of what she saw is sickening...

she says my unlce, her brother, was brutally murdered...from what she saw of the dried blood remains, and heard from one of the accomplices...my uncles arm was first cut off and he tried to run away, he was held down and decapitated...the rest of his body, as my mother puts it "every bone in his body was cut into about 3 or 4 pieces..."

another dissappointing detail...since the Hernandez family is so cruel, they have managed to pay off the police after every criminal act the have done...whenever the police hear they are involved in a case, they just drop it...

my mother and father stay up just about every night praying and praying, time after time, for his safe return...it brings my mother to tears to think of the pain he might've gone through, or is going through...

it's been almost a full month now, and yet, no sign of him...only messengers saying they see him in different towns...

my cousins wife is expecting her 2nd child from him...

we're praying that even if he isn't found alive, that his remains may be found for closure to my uncle and my family...

i know everything happens for a reason...but WHY!!! why like this...

my weekend...

wenros — 2006-01-25T12:01:30-05:00

so saturday came around, and all i could think of was how this was going to be a boring weekend...everyone that i hang out with had gone home...i was really bummed cause i wanted to be with babe, didn't matter where, just wanted to be with him...

so around 7 or so, i asked chase to take me to him...and he was like "sure, ok, just give me 15 minutes"...i was so freaken excited, so i called babe and told him i wasn't able to make it...we got to babe's place and he was so shocked to see me...I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!! chase came in to use the potty then he left...awww, he is so awesome!!!

so babe and i bum around for a bit, then have awesome sex, afterwards i lay there ass naked on the bed, hoping when i get up i could walk without feeling shaky...lol...he gets the water running and we lay in the tub together!!! AWWW!!! i was melting as he was playing with my feet...so we made awesome love in the tub, and then we actually took a shower...lmao...we bummed, watched some tv, he made a pizza, then we went to bed...he's so awesome...after another round of sex, we fell asleep in each others arms...

sunday morning we had another love session then came back to my place...we ate breakfast here...we went to a chinese buffet, which was really good...we came to my room and we watched tv for a bit...then he played on the computer for about 5 hours or so...lmao...he only paused for about 2 hours in between to tend to my needs ;) lol...he's so cute...it was about 9 when he decided he was going to stay over...

monday i had class, but when i got back he was already on the computer...lmao...but it's all good cause that was his reward...we had a couple of more rounds...watched a movie together...then at 7 he left cause i had a house meeting...

i love my weekend, i only had one slump, but babe and i got through it...we were both crying...lmao...i love him so much!!! he's awesome!!!

what an interesting...

wenros — 2006-01-28T04:01:34-05:00

after 4 hours and something minutes, TINY, housemate, and i decided to go to sleep...we started the puzzle a little before 10, and by 2 AM we weren't even half way done...

lmao...we did really good though...

so yeah, today we're gonna finish it

duckie-duckie.....

wenros — 2006-01-31T12:01:26-05:00

so today was eh, but it turned out quite well...around 5 i went to the library with Christina to get some books on her artist, so i just grabbed another one for myself...

after that, around 6, came home and went to eat with andrew, morgan, christina, amanda, lindsey, CHAD and jennifer...so yeah, it was quite fun...then we stole like 30 packets of salty crackers and headed towards Sam Houston Ave.

we went to the pond thingy and feed the duckies, it was awesome cause some were hissing, and i dunno if that's a good thing or a bad thing...there was a huge one!!! and then you hear a little quacking, it's a baby duckie!!!

we were all trying to feed it, but it wouldn't grab the crackers...

after that we came back home, all singing to different songs!!! lmao...that was hilarous...

as we were coming up the Blvd, i pulled Jen's pants down!!! LMAO!!! she's like "ya want to see my booty"...then pulls them down herself and gives us a clear view of her thong...LMAO...she's awesome...

so yeah, other than that, i went to tredmill for about 20 minutes...oh yeah!!! lol...i'm awesome!!! i gotta get in good shape if i plan on doing some sexy dances for babe...lol...

i love babe so freaken much, he's adorable!!! we're awesome...hopefully he'll be up here the 13th!!! HOPEFULLY is the key word...

night world...may everyone have a good night and happy thoughts...

guys are awesome...

wenros — 2006-02-02T09:02:30-05:00

so aaron and i hadn't spoken since like last monday ( a week ago) why i dunno...so yesterday we were in the lobby, and he was coming up the stairs, and i looked at him all mean...his words "what the fuck are you looking at" of course by this time i had already turned around, but the through the corner of my eye, i can see him come a couple of steps back down...

so i turn to look at him, and he says "yeah, i'm talking to you" and he was smiling...lmao...i melted...he comes back later and sits next to me and asks if i was mad at him...lmao...

we went to eat at the cafe, where he left me and came back home...i walked home by myself all mad cause they had actually left me...when i got back he was sitting on the steps with his head down...lmao, we did the usual arguining, and we ended up in my room, on my bed...lmao...

no we didn't do anything, we layed there and talked from about 10 o clock to 4 in the morning...lmao...how awesome is that...we laughed about all the shit that happened last year and just had a good time...

memory tears...

wenros — 2006-02-08T01:02:15-05:00

i almost burst into tears in my history class today...i dunno what came over me, but all i could think about was my cousin and how he is going on 2 months now, and yet no sign of him...

sometimes i wonder if he's still out there somewhere...

*dear GOD,
     i've stayed up late time after time, and i've asked you time after time, why do such things happen in life? I mean we both know this isn't the first time something like this has happened to my family, so why must it keep happening? yeah, i know, everything happens for a reason, but i guess i still don't see that reason. i know there isn't much hope anymore, it's just been too long, but GOD, can you do me a favor??? If he is out there, somewhere, could you please look out for him? Mom and us would really appreciate it. Thanks GOD, now you can go back to saving someone from future harm.*

then i started thinking how life just keeps going on...how as i sat there in my history class, freezing my toes off because i changed shoes, my poor cousins and uncle are trying to go on with their lives, knowing their brother and son is out there somewhere, dead or alive...

funny how when you see movies and hear stories of kidnappings you get all teary-eyed just because it's a devestating time...but when my mother first told me, i didn't know what to believe, i was too shocked, i didn't want to believe her, i was numb...and now whenever i start thinking of him, i get all weak on the insides...

absurd dream...

wenros — 2006-02-08T10:02:17-05:00

so in my english class, we're doing oral presentations, but the person we interview has to be 60 years or older...the person i had in mind was my grandmother, cause she's awesome and cause she's awesome...then i was like, "dang it grandma, why you gotta be dead"...but yeah that was a bummer that i couldn't interview her... so last night i had a really absurd dream...some how my grandmother was sitting in our kitchen in mexico, like she does every morning...and i was just overwhelmed to see her again...so in my dream i was telling myself, or thinking rather, "this is so awesome, i can still do my presentation on her...i wonder what the class is going to think when i tell them grandma came back to see us"...lol... my grandma's awesome, and i do miss her...so i think i might tell my mother to send me to mexico for spring break so i can go visit my grandfather...oh dang it, i have to be back here on wednesday for some ortho. appt. for my back...i guess if i leave that friday, i'll get there saturday and i can come back monday, to get here tuesday... life is weird...

manny, manny, manny...

wenros — 2006-02-09T11:02:28-05:00

lol, so yesterday i get a message from a very dear pal of mine...it's MANNY...lmao...that guy is one awesome person...it's hilarous at how we got so close and very comfy with each other...lmao...only he will ever know the true good times during UIL...

he was kinda sick a while back, but he's better now, i hope/think...

he's supposed to come up here next fall, this upcoming fall, whatever...either way, he's gonna be here, but he's gonna room with another not so great pal of mines, juan...lol...manny was like "if you see me, you'll see him"...lol...i was like "yeah, only cause i see him, doesn't mean i have to talk to him"...lmao...naw i didn't say that, but that would've been hilarous...

so yeah, i'm back home cause my office hours were cut short...there was a firedrill at white hall a couple of minutes ago, and since i already have about 10 hours for this week, i figured i could leave...

my sisters are awesome!!!

wenros — 2006-02-10T03:02:32-05:00

yay, i can finally say "my sisters"...today was my initiation, yay!!! so here i was calling some people to see if we could get in for free to the clubs at houston, and next thing you know i am tackled down, blind folded, removed of my jacket and shoes, with blankets all over me...

lmao...it was hilarous, they walked me around the hall, then made me go sliding downstairs where i was stuffed into a car...they drove around for what seemed like forever...i was taken out, and i could hear the fountain in the back ground...

i was like "shit, it's cold"...i screamed out "i can't swim, i'm on my period"... but they didn't care, they untied my hands and rolled me into the freezing fountain...lmao, i could hear people cheering and hollering in the background...at first i thought they had taken me to someone's pool or something...

when i got out of the fountain, soaked wet in cold water, and the temperature was like at high 40's...i took off my shirt and the people were going crazy, i think they got a couple of pics of me in my bra...lmao...i so thought the girls had told people to show up, but apparently they didn't know the guys...so now people have pix of me in my bra...lol...

the girls wrapped me in my jacket, the 3 extra blankets they brought and made me WALK home!!! fuck that, i was freezing, so i ran home...lindsay let me in, and the girls made me stay in the living room...samantha was like "you pulled through vanessa, congrats, you're in"...they handed me my rose...AWESOME-NESS

so yeah...after i took a long WARM/HOT shower, i got in my victoria secret sleeping shorts, which are just about as short as boy shorts, a long john shirt and my bathrobe...i got downstairs and we headed out to denny's...

as we sat and ate our free meals, we looked at some of the pix they took...man, do i look sexy...when i was running around in my bra, you could see my abs, which are very nice...well at least in the pic...i'll try to post at least one of them up...

I LOVE MY SISTERS, THEY'RE AWESOME!!!

*SIGH* *SIGH*

wenros — 2006-02-13T03:02:41-05:00

Current Mood:

*sigh*

anticipation

excited

joyful

all of the above...

hope all goes as planned...

*wish me luck*

HAPPY VALENTINE's TO ALL!!!

wenros — 2006-02-14T02:02:14-05:00

yay...

Feliz Dia De Amor Y Amistad=Happy Day of Love and Friendship=Happy Valentine's Day

i'm not much of a v-day celebrator, i am a firm believer that everyday should be a day to show love...

mind games...

wenros — 2006-02-16T07:02:59-05:00

i guess my subconsciousness is getting to my dreams or something because last night i had one of the weirdest, yet hopefully dreams...as some of you know my cousin was kidnapped last december and we still no nothing of him...

all i could remember from my dream was seeing him walk through our front door and all i could say is "where have you been, we've been looking for you"...his reply "i'm sorry, but i was in jail and i didn't want ya to find out, i'm sorry ya went looking for me."

if only this was true...if only there was some slight hope that this could be true, but no...i know deep down inside that this won't ever be true...

my "valentine" day...

wenros — 2006-02-17T09:02:23-05:00

so i thought i had updated with my version of valentine, but i guess i didn't...

i was so nervous all monday cause babe was coming...he kept calling me throughout the day to say that he was being a tad late cause he had so much crap to do...i just wanted to see him... he finally gets here around 4 or 5, not too sure anymore...he calls me to go open the door and there he is with 6 roses; 3 red, for love, and 3 yellow for friendship...lol...i've told him before that he better not bring me a bouquet of red roses...

as we were coming inside, lindsay happens to be out there, and she asks him "what do you like about vanessa so much"...his answer "uhhhh...she's goofy, and she just grows on you"...lmao...*way to go babe, good one*
we come upstairs and roommate is still here...after a while she leaves, but it's all good cause we're just holding each other...i get like a little kid when i see him sometimes, agh...

he goes to the restroom and i make him stay inside...i put on my little black meshy dolly thingy and keep my little black thong on...*he loves the way black looks on my naked body* i felt so silly cause i was fixing my hair and what not...lol...

he comes out of the restroom with his jaw dropped...so i think he liked it...then we procceed to have our intimate moment...*sigh, sex is awesome, especially with the one you love*

when we're done, we get dressed and i take a nap...lol...he plays on the computer for a bit then we head out...

we went to eat at Margarita's, a really good rest. in town...and our waiter was so cute!!! lol...babe is so effing awesome...babe was laughing at me cause i was being horribly goofy, if he didn't love me, he would've left embarrassed...

after our "romantic" dinner we headed out to wal-mart so he could reload my card and buy me groceries...he is so awesome, he got me some salads, fruit and some low-fat ice cream bars...he is effing adorable...

so on the way home i got really really really horny...lmao...we pull over to the side of the road *i've been eyeing this certain spot for a while now* luckily his windows have the illegal tint otherwise people would've seen some booty-in-the-air...lol...

after our long car session we headed back home...

babe is so effing cute!!! we have an agreement about Valentine's day...so with the roses came a card, and i quote:


"I am glad we don't need Valentine's Day to show each other we LOVE one another"

we have a good, healthy relationship, and i'm so glad we've come this far together...that man knows how important he is to me, i love him so much...

another girls night in...

wenros — 2006-02-26T05:02:29-05:00

since christina stayed this weeked, we pretty much hung out together...

amber cheered at yesterday's game, so we went out to watch her...afterwards we came back and chilled in my room...lmao...we ate left over pizza, drank some s'offs...and just watched tv...it was awesome to just bum around in our jammies and sweats, just laughing at guys, and talking about stuff...

we bummed in my room from about 9 pm to about 5 am...lmao...we're awesome...i love my sisters!!!
oh yeah, branden came over for about an hour or 2, but he left like at 2 or something...

around 2.30 or something, i called babe, cause he hadn't called me since the night before...his dumbass was still at david's drinking and playing poker...lol...we started arguining, but it wasn't even serious cause every couple of minutes he'd be like, "i love you,stop tripping"...he's so effing adorable...told him to go home and call me when he got there...within like 30 minutes he calls me...lmao...i have him by the balls sometimes, i was trying to hang up so i could heat me up a soup and he was like "call me back, promise promise me you'll call back...don't say goodbye cause you're going to call me back...i love you...call me back"....he's so adorable!!!

he might come up here again next saturday...he's been up here for like 3 or 4 consecutive weekends...he's so cute about it too...he was like "hey, do you mind if i go up there saturday night??? i love you"...lmao...how could i say no to him?!?!?! even though we had a really rough weekend (the last one that just passed up) i hope our relationship gets better...

girls night...

wenros — 2006-03-04T04:03:36-05:00

we've been drinking for about 2 hours or so, but it's all good...i'm buzzing a bit, but it's all good...my sisters are awesome, we're such an awesome group, hope we stay in touch for a very very very long time...

MUAH!!! tomorrow we are going to animal shelter here in huntsville, to play with puppies...

oh yeah, something hilarous happened, I TORE MY FREAKEN JEANS RIGHT DOWN THE ASS CRACK!!! LMAO!!! it was effing hilarous...the girls took pictures, so it's all good...

bumming at school...

wenros — 2006-03-26T03:03:54-05:00

so yeah, there's nothing to do...well there is, but i don't want to do it...

aaron and i are just chilling here in my cuarto, watching some tivo, bumming around...got back from the office a while ago, got some shit done that was almost due...

haven't written in a while, cause life is just like that sometimes, it crawls on you and won't let you get away from under it...

so much shit has gone through my mind, at times i feel so lost, and dunno what to do, but i know someday i'll have all the answers...lol...

so yeah, i finally applied for a job, woo-hoo me...i really really hope i get it cause for next school year, babe and i are going to be supporting each other...

babe and i are doing pretty good, it's hill arous...i'm pretty sure i still love him, i just don't see it sometimes...

i've been bad, and i feel horrible, but hey what can i do now??? i just make the best of it now, now that all the stupid shit is under wraps...but it's all good cause my friends won't say shit about anything, even if we were....lmao...

other than that i guess it's going pretty good...nothing interesting has happened...

i'ma start physical therapy within the next couple of weeks, so that should keep me busy a couple of days of the week...

found out over spring break my mother is getting surgery...each time she tells me of how sick she is just reminds me of how life really sucks and one day my parents will no longer be here...

i was thinking about it the other day, it really sucks being the youngest, with my parents being at the age that they are...i mean life really sucks cause i don't have any money for school, well for crap that i need really, all my school tuition and what not is pretty much taken care of by the govment (gotta love being poor :) ) so yeah, it really sucks cause my parents won't be able to give me any money starting upcoming fall, not like they give me money now, but still...babe is still being responsible for me, so if i don't have money it's cause he doesn't give me any...

funny thing the way shit happens, about 2 years ago it felt as if we were already married...and now look at this shit, funny thing life is...but it's all good, cause i know babe tries his best to give me whatever it is that i need...that's the one thing that i must admit about him, i love that he tries his best to supply me with whatever is needed...whether it's $200 or just some tampons...he's awesome, but like humans, he has his days...

HOLY CRAP!!! guess who came back into my life??? yup, JUAN!!! lol...it's all good though...i called him up the other day, we met at the fountain and we were able to have a good convo for about 20 min. or so until i starting being "myself" again...lol...that dumbass knows that DEEP DEEP DEEP DEEP down inside i tend to miss him, even if i do talk shit about him...and like juan, since that day we haven't really spoken...i guess that's one thing that i can rely on juan about, that he goes and comes as he pleases...unless i make him stay for whatever reason...

JUAN, IF YOU READ THIS CRAP, I GUESS, I MEAN, MIGHT AS WELL ADMIT IT RIGHT??? you're an OK person...lol...muah hun, you know of all people how i really feel about you, and only you will ever know that!!! even if i have you on my wall, you know my heart still goes out to you...like i told someone, no matter how long you stop talking to me, it can be a year, but if you call and need something, you know i am there for you...MUAH HUN LOVE YA!!!

LIFE FUCKING SUCKS A BITCH!!! but it's all good, i'll just keep that little part to myself...

p.s......it's pretty good amusement to use all the tags available for entries...personal gratification...

Stand up for immigrants!!!

wenros — 2006-03-29T12:03:44-05:00

as most people know by know the congress is trying to keep just the 11 million immigrants in america...there have been walkouts through out america...well like LA and dallas, and my hometown HOUSTON, TEXAS!!!

my high school was one of the schools that participated in the walk-out!!! i am so effing proud of them...i know if i was there, i would have done so as well...

Video footage of walk-outs

i know i would want my family to stay in america...i would have to see so many of my relatives, even brother in laws leave to mexico...

yeah, people are saying, "why don't they just fix their papers???" well dumbasses it's not that easy as filling out a form and getting a reply within 3-5 business days!!!

I AM SO EFFING PROUD TO BE MEXICAN!!! ok, i am mexican-american, but that's only cause i was born here...either way, i STAND PROUD AND TALL TO BE CALLED A MEXICAN!!!

oh yeah, a friend of mine was talking about, the only problem she had with immigrants is that they are taking the jobs, so i simply said "you're right, they are willing to clean toilets you sit on to feed their children and help support they family in any way, cause we know YA'LL won't do it"

then she was saying something about, "it costs so much to teach the children english"...

UGH!!!

wenros — 2006-03-31T07:03:16-05:00

dunno what the hell is up with him...he's been complaining that he can't walk cause he hurt his foot...went with him to the doctor, they gave him vicadin...and what the hell does he do??? he gets drunk, gets high and there for won't take his medicine...

that's it, i've had enough of this looking after him crap...he acts like a child sometimes...dang he says he has add, but he does stupid shit to get attention...it's all good fun, but we always have to make sure he doesn't hurt himself...

i'm so fed up with him it's not even funny, and he knows it too...he tried talking to me and i totally ignored him, as if he was never there...

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i got a call today from Gayle, we scheduled my interview for next wed. around 1...i really hope i get this job, cause i need it...seeing how babe and i are going to take care of ourselves...

home sweet home...

wenros — 2006-04-02T07:04:53-05:00

just got back from that G-Town, Galveston...it was pretty awesome...but seeing as i only got 6 hours of sleep last night, and like 8 hours within the last 3 days or so, i am going to bed now...

ahh, life is awesome...dang it for the fuckers that have that luxery...

life is just like that at times...

wenros — 2006-04-11T07:04:59-05:00

ummm...where to start...

babe and i haven't spoken since sunday night...we had an argument that lead to a little physical abuse...but it's all good...he 'un' broke up with me, but he doesn't want me calling him for a couple of weeks...well he said he'll call me in a couple of weeks, and to not call him...i dunno...it's weird...i just dunno what's going to happen to us, whether we're gonna get back together, or just call it quits...

about the abuse thing...i'm really thinking about going to counseling for abusive relationships and what-not...

a friend told me he's practically almost in love with me, that he's never felt this way about any girl before, not even his ex of a couple of years... he wants to be the guy in my life, and all that other good stuff...how the hell do i get myself into these things???

i got a job, i start thursday *training* but i think i might lose it cause of my g.p.a. i have to maintain a 3.0 to keep my job, but i'm doing bad in a few of my 4 classes...

i don't know what to do with so many things, and i really don't know who i should talk to...babe was usually the one i would come to for everything, but seeing as he and i are sour, i'm just holding in all this crap...at times i think about letting everything go...

anticipation...

wenros — 2006-04-17T12:04:25-05:00

so i start my job tomorrow at 7 effin 30 in the morning, but it's all good... i was supposed to decide on my hours over the weekend, but that didn't happen...

i'ma go jump in the shower, then get some shit done, then go to sleep...

muah, goodnight good world...

some awesome-ness happened this weekend!!!

THE MAN TEST!!!

wenros — 2006-04-18T11:04:22-05:00

so yeah, we just finished having an unofficial MAN TEST, PROVE YOURSELF in the lobby...we were just goofing around, doing flips, cartwheels, hand stands and what-not...then morgan said i had bad arm strength, so we started to do push-ups...well she did, i was just there humping the ground and lifting my legs...lol...the guys started to play along, which eventually led to them doing push ups with claps in the middle...

zaki fell, so i layed on him (more like straddle) beth got on me, and morgan got on her...the guys were taking pictures...lmao, i hope next years people are going to be just as awesome as we are...

we're a bunch of awesome people...

earlier we played sand volleyball...lmao...it was quite hilarous...then i was in my bra and shorts, which was effing hilarous...

so yeah...gotta do a crap load of homework...

happy birthday to me!!!

wenros — 2006-04-24T01:04:46-05:00

yay, i'm finally 19!!! woo-hoo!!! someone sing me a song!!!

everyone should pitch in and buy me a blow up doll!!!

awesome-ness!!!

AUSTIN weekend

wenros — 2006-05-07T03:05:19-05:00

blah, so much shit to say about this weekend...had it's ups and downs...didn't get to see my brother, but i'll get to eventually...

gonna make me some popcorn before i watch memoirs of geisha...

last night at VICK HOUSE BLC!!!

wenros — 2006-05-12T03:05:05-05:00

omF'ng goodness...just got home after about a while of drinking...lmao...we went to some friend's house and were playing the card game yet again...

there was some drama, but my eyes are finally tear-free...how the hell do i get myself into these situations, i do not know...

let's hope for the best, i got a little letter, so i am off to read that...

i check out of here tomorrow 11...but i'll be in town at a local hotel til the 30th...

i love my effing VICK HOUSE!!! we're so effing awesome!!!

what to do, what to do...

wenros — 2006-05-19T12:05:05-05:00

man, shit has been so effing weird around here...classes were good, some finals were hard...i still have my job...

i spoke to my puppy a couple of days ago, and i think i embarrassed him, i was like "i thought you loved me" lmao...but this dumbass had me on speaker, so all the guys were laughing at him get red...i didn't mean feelings wise, i was just messing around and what-not...it sucks that he and i can't be the friends we used to be...how the hell did he fall for me i do not know...i just hope, by the time school starts up again he won't love me the same...i feel so fucking horrible cause i know i am to blame, i just don't know where i went wrong...i miss our friendship so effing much, it hurts sometimes...it hurts to not be able to just talk about anything and everything without him feeling hurt on the inside...

let's see, what else...ummm, last night was awesome...ate some frito pie...lmao...oh yeah, i'm here at raven's place, she's letting us borrow her place til saturday, hopefully babe will pick me up then...kaylah doesn't go to work tomorrow, so she'll prolly just watch movies and eat all day...lmao...i text babe about what was going down last night, and he was all "you're a grown woman, be have and be careful"...and i haven't heard from him since, no phone call nor a text...i love him and i am such a weiner, it's soo not even funny...i just can't wait til the next time i see him...

i miss all of my ladybugs!!! i miss going into each others rooms and just drinking it up, dancing, and talking about stupid shit...

latest fave songs...

wenros — 2006-05-19T12:05:03-05:00

Hate Me Lyrics
Artist(Band):Blue October

Mother: Hi Justin! This is your mother it is 2:33 on Monday afternoon. I was just calling to see how you were doing. You sounded really uptight last night, it made me a little nervous, and a little, well it made me nervous, but it sounded like you were nervous too. I just want to make sure you are really okay and wanted to see if you were checking in on your medication too. You know I love ya and take care honey. See ya. Bye Bye!

(Verse 1)
I have to block out thoughts of you, so I don't lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I'm alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you, Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face
And will you never try to reach me, it is I that wanted space

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see whats good for you

(Verse 2)
I'm sober now for 3 whole months, it's one accomplishment that you helped me with.
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing that I won't touch again.
In my sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I'll drive so fucking far away that I'll never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind

(Chorus)
Hate me today.
Hate me tomorrow.
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you.
Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow.
Hate me so you can finally see whats good for you.

(Verse 3)
And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I have made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling make it go away,
Just make her smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered "How can you do this to me?"

(Chorus)
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see whats good for you

Davinci Movie

wenros — 2006-05-22T03:05:27-05:00

so babe invited me to the movies yesterday, and since they didn't accept plastic, i paid...lol...he's adorable...man, aren't i the best, i paid for dinner, and the movie...

so yeah...why didn't anyone warn me that the movie was like 3 hours long??? it was pretty good though, i really liked the graphics...i'm a little kid, i swear...i was too into the graphics that i would forget about dialogue...

if you read the book before the movie, you're gonna be sitting there thinking too much...so just go in there with an open mind...

see, that's the thing i don't understand...what's the big rucous about this movie??? it's just a movie?!?!?! honestly, everyone is entitled to their own opinion??? for the book going into much detail, i think the movie did a pretty decent job, there could've been some better parts, but it's all good...

got home around midnight...poor babe, he still had to drive all the way back to houston...and we both had to be up at 6 something in the morning (today)...

can anyone help me???

wenros — 2006-05-22T03:05:06-05:00

does anyone know the title to the song in CLOSER!!!

for the love of me, i can't even think of the beat...but i know it's a slow beat...

is it MINER'S DAUGHTER??? or am i wrong???

*edited*

problem solved...

it's THE BLOWER'S DAUGHTER BY DAMIEN RICE...

i just think it's an awesome song, and i can't get it out of my head...

um....so yeah...

wenros — 2006-05-24T07:05:28-05:00

kaylah is so effing hilarous...

I BE ON IT!!! I BE, I BE ON IT!!!

so, i met another friend...his name is jamaica...he's hilarous and ON IT!!!

things are so slllllllllllllloooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwww...i dunno who else gets it, but i get timelapsed...everything is like 3-5 seconds off it...

I BE ON THAT KRYPONITE!!! I BE ON IT ALL NIGHT!!!

feelings so damn good!!! !!! !!!

guess how happy i am?!?!?!

kaylah is watching me...she don't BE ON IT!!!

another weekend...

wenros — 2006-05-26T09:05:28-05:00

babe is on his way to pick me up so i can go home, we might see a movie, depending on what time he gets here...

gotta go home this weekend to pack for my cali trip...i'm so excited to be going to NACURH!!! i've heard it gets pretty crazy, and i have to work on my CHEERS!!! i've only gotten about 2-3 memorized, and we have about 15 or so...hope they get stuck in my head this weekend...

meeta is coming to houston tuesday, where she'll stay at my place...wednesday we have to be at the airport at 7 freakin in the morning...i really hope the weather is good there, cause if not, then i'd have to take extra sweaters...i naturally get cold easily...

man, i still gotta buy a lot of shit...which i will "gladly" do over the weekend...

tuesday is my last day of work for this semester, until i get back for the fall...thus being the reason i am stuck in good ole huntsville, instead of HOUSTON!!! it's all good though...

WEDNESDAY NIGHTS ARE FUKCING CREAZY!!! life is awesome, take advantage of what is offered, even if it seems a little "peer pressured" lmao...raven is awesome...

what a weekend...

wenros — 2006-05-30T05:05:22-05:00

went home friday night, got home pretty late, but i had to grab a bite to eat at good ole POPPA BURGER!!! how i miss it when i am up here at school...

saturday was juan's graduation, but we didn't go to the ceremony cause it was too far, and cause the directions were bad, so instead we just went to the party thingamajiger...we thought it was in katy, but the coronado's have their ranch in some town an hour from houston...man, it took us about an hour just to get to their exit, then 20 minutes to get to their street, but it was all worth it...

they had a conjunto (band), so it was pretty cool...then we ate, and man was there lots of food...they killed a goat or something just for the party, so yeah it was really good...then we sat for a bit and watched people dance...lol...my gianna was with me, so needless to say it was an interesting night...they brought out the 4-wheeler's and gianna was amazed, so she insisted she ride one (she's on 4)...i'm scared of the things, cause once i saw a guy gash his face open at galveston (he flipped over), and my sister had to give him aide on the beach, cause she was a nurse at the time...

but gianna wouldn't get on unless i did...and to top it off, i was wearing a skirt, lol...but the guys are so sweet, so it wasn't a problem...

i ended up stealing the wheeler from them...after i learned how to drive it, and we started racing...so much dust got in my hair, and it was dark...lmao...then i almost crashed into the neighbors fence...lol...it was effing hilarous!!!

we left around 1 or so...

me: next time i come, i'll be wearing jeans
ruben: but why???

lmao...they're awesome...our family has known theirs for about 20 years now, so we're pretty close and respectful of each other...but yeah, after i got juan's number we left...

too bad i already have a coronado in my life...lol...

sunday did pretty much nothing, just bummed around...they stole the 2 boxer puppies from my house...so babe is upset, and my brother wants to kill someone...they stole them sometime between 3 am and 9 am...stupid people...

monday was pretty laid back as well, washed some clothes, then packed my bags for CALI!!! once we got to huntsville, babe and i went to get our tickets for X-MEN 3!!! since we still had about 2 hours to spare, we went to wal-mart to get some last minute things...

babe was telling me since friday, people have been honking at him and giving him the thumbs up...his license plates say X-MEN...it's his brothers car, who happens to be obsessed with x-men since the comics have came out...and that's WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY back...

after the movie babe brought me back to raven's...and it wasn't wednesday, but we still had fun...lol...

berkeley cali amongst other things...

wenros — 2006-06-01T03:06:07-05:00

my day started off at 5.30 houston time, and it's 12.21 which would be 2.21 houston time...i have almost been up for a whole day...holy crap, we need to go to sleep...justin, my president is here at the computer next to me...

man, we left houston to colorado, cause for some reason our trip was cut in half, we thought it was going to be a full one, but it's all good...then we got to colorado and our flight was to leave at 11.30, but we didn't leave til about 4.30 cause the weather in houston was really bad for the plane that was coming in....so i bummed on the airport floor for about an hour or 2...

lmao...meeta and i were having fun with the sliding floors, i have no idea what they're called., but yeah, it was much fun...

we flew with people from ATM, so it was pretty fun...man, they have about $$$12,000 in spirit items...we only have a few items we made on our own...since this is our first conference, we didn't know what to expect, and we're new to this kind of thing...

we've already had our first delegate meeting, and tomorrow i have a conference from 2-4 with our advisor and all the other schools...i have to go to so many meetings cause i'm acting as NCC (National Communications Coordinator)...but it's all good, cause there are like 100 people at these meetings...

once i walked into my room, we had a binder for the conference, that thing is about 300 pages long!!! and i have to go through it, as well as the rest of the e-board...

well goodnight to all...justin is ready to leave, and it's freaking cold outside, about 50 degrees!!! and i'm from houston, TEXAS!!! i come from 90 degree weather...!!!

my summer...

wenros — 2006-08-18T06:08:05-05:00

ok, let's see, this summer was an iffy one...didn't do much and it was just awkard...

*went to cali for a bit
*came back to houston
*got a job at Ben & Jerry's;worked about 48hrs week
*didn't really go out at night cause i closed the shop (2 am)
*moms left to mexico for awhile cause gramps was sick
*cousin was found killed in mexico on fathers day
*babysat on my days off for about 12hrs. (only 1 day off a week)
*boyfriend broke up with me
*grandpa passed away;went to mex. for a week to tend to that
*found out gramps had a daughter;now i have a new aunt
*2 men have been prisoned for a killing in another town, thus giving us time to get more on them for the killing of my uncle and 2 cousins, and the rape of another cousin
*moms been really sick cause of my gramps
*my brother has gotten into too much stuff, he even has an alias name...tsk tsk...
*my sis had her rugrat (yay!!!)
*still single after a month, we're not getting back together (mutual agreement)
*had the most bestest day with my ex, too bad he's not mine!!! :(
*looking for someone that has connections at Sta. Maria de la Paz...
*meet a really nice guy who likes me, but i'm just not ready to move on...
*moved back into school
*started school job yesterday
*oh and yesterday i almost got to tears talking/walking with fuck face...how i missed him...we took a 4 hr walk

hmph....

wenros — 2006-08-21T11:08:32-05:00

friday night was hilarous!!!!

house party @ Kaylah's!!! people were effing wasted!!! aaron was fucking hilarous!!! a gopher tripped him...not everyone was there, but it was pretty sweet!!! tiny was gone and gab knew how comfy the floor was...there were many lap dances...

then we brought out the cake...the intentions of the party was to celebrate the summer babies, well the girls only...it was an interesting get together...chad was there...lol...aaron apologized to chase, which i was very proud of him...and well otto still won't speak to him...other than that it was a good time...

oh and there was a lot of body parts getting whipped cream licked off...lmao...morgan is something else, how we all wished amber was there...awww...some day all the girls are going to get together and man, it's gonna be a good one...

i might be going home this weekend, cause my sis is having a b-day party for my moms and gianna, agustin and baby dominick, or however you spell it...

P.I.T.P (Party in the Pit)

wenros — 2006-08-22T06:08:52-05:00

Man it was hectic...got to the office at 7.45 to get the glow bracelets together...kinda stole the glow stick idea from NACURH!!! but hey, that's what it's for...tina took the guys to the pit to set up everything...

katie drove us there...lol...man, we miss her and her ways...she was an awesome RA!!!

it was a good turn out...but after a while it ended up being a black get together...it was funny cause all the white people were there at first, they were dancing and stuff, then all of a sudden they're gone and it's nothing but black folks...but i felt like i was at home, so it's all good...

we had dance comps. and some free style flowing, which some white guy managed to ruin and yet get the hype back up...it was pretty fun though...

our shirts were awesome!!! they're glow in the dark!!!

didn't get home til 1.00 AM cause had to get everything back into the office...man i was so effing tired!!!

*screaming at the top of lungs* FUCK!!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!!!

wenros — 2006-08-31T10:08:11-05:00

i'm so effing had enough of today...i'm so pissed...i just finished crying...life isn't how it should be...life should just end for me...cause think about it, would i really make a difference, would anyone know that i'm gone???

so much shit has been going on, and i don't know what the fuck i'm doing...i'm tired of myslef and of life...there is no point to it sometimes...i just want to know what it is to hurt, to the point of going numb...

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck...

*going back to crying all alone in her room*

fuck the title to this entry...

wenros — 2006-08-31T10:08:22-05:00

This is the story of a girl
Who cried a river and drowned the whole world
And while she looked so sad in photographs
I absolutely love her when she smiles

How many days in the year she woke up with hope
But she only found tears
Actin' so insincere
Making the promises never for real
As long as she stands there waiting
Wearing the holes in soles of her shoes
How many days disapear
You look in the mirror so how do you choose
Your clothes never wear as well the next day
And your hair never falls out quite the same way
You never seem to run out of things to say

This is the story of a girl
Who cried a river and drowned the whole world
And while she looked so sad in photographs
I absolutely love her when she smiles

How many lovers would stay
Just to put up with this shit day after day
How do we wind up this way
Watchin' the mouths for the words I would say
As long as we stand here waiting
Wearing the clothes of the soles I would chose
How do we get there today
If we're walkin' to far from the price of the shoes

Your clothes never wear as well the next day
And your hair never falls out quite the same way
You never run out of things to say

This is the story of a girl
Who cried a river and drowned the whole world
And while she looked so sad in photographs
I absolutely love her when she smiles

And your clothes never wear as well the next day
And your hair never falls out quite the same way
You never seem to run out of things to say

This is the story of a girl
Who cried a river and drowned the whole world
And while she looks so sad in photographs
I absolutely love her

This is the story of a girl
Who's pretty face she hid from the world
And while she looked so sad and lonely there
I absolutely love her

This is the story of a girl
Who cried a river and drowned the whole world
And while she looked so sad in photographs
I absolutely love her when she smile

FUCKING HILAROUS!!!

wenros — 2006-09-02T03:09:54-05:00

so otto and i end up drinking in his room like at 7 pm, don't even know what started it...then we started to watch one of his porn dvd's...which was so fucking hilarous, it was called NASTY WHORES!!! lmao!!! what a title...after a while aaron came to sit next to me, and story short; i asked him to bring me a coke so we could make more drinks, and he walks out with a huge BONER!!! lmfao...we couldn't stop laughing for a good minute!!! otto couldn't stop laughin...after about 2 hours i came to my room to call babe...

later that night otto called me up that we were gonna go walking, once i accept he says "tiny, lindsay, & aaron are going too" so i couldn't back out now...ok, so aaron and i have this h-e-b cart, cause i get really lazy and tired walking anywhere on campus, so he pushes me...

lindsay, aaron and myslef go to meet tiny and otto on her side of the wing, meanwhile i'm in the cart...as soon as we get there UPD pulls up to us...he gets out, and i'm still in the cart cause aaron decided to run when he saw him...lol...the police just looks at us and can't keep a straight face...he's like "we got a call of disturbance, and i wanted to come and make sure ya'll are ok" LMAO!!! me being the dumbass that i am was like "officer is everything ok? i mean, i put up my hand signals, would you like some ID? so he calls up my ID number and everyone is laughing their asses off cause the dispatch is reading all my info to him...

i'm like, officer we're just having some fun, we're from Sugar Land, and our parents don't want any of us home for the break, so we figured if we got a start now, we'd be there by monday night...lmao...he couldn't stop laughin...i keep fucking with him, and he's like, "ok, well just get rid of it somewhere" me: "do we have to put a lock or something on it, so someone won't steal it...oh wait, i have my pepper spray, i'll just squirt them" he takes a look at my spray and is like "ok, i won't ticket ya cause ya made me laugh"

just as we were walking off, foot patrol upd walked up...glad the patrol got there before, cause them fucks will write you up for anything...

went to vick house, and fuck they got some sorry as people...fucking losers!!!

during our walk we end up at Kaldi's...we're inside and some guy is starting shit with aaron, for no reason...you could tell aaron just wanted to kick his ass...and aaron is not little, he's like 6.4, 220...and that guy was constantly fucking with him...i was like "well i guess we're throwing it down tonight" lmao...i wouldn't mind getting into a fight for aaron..., just incase the girls would jump in or something...

after a couple of attempts to get aaron in the truck we came back to raven...stayed up talking to bryan (guys RA) and a couple of people...

LMFAO!!! came upstairs and aaron was riding JPauls bike in the hallway!!! lmfao, you can always count on aaron to do crazy shit...riding your bike is a fine...so it wasn't any good that it was at 2 in the morning...we were laughing our asses of so bad...bryan came out and was cracking up with us on some other shit...he heard us laughing, and was gonna tell us something, but we started joking with him...

took some furniture out of bryan's room and into wills...which is a violation, cause we're not supposed to be in guys room after 1, or even in the hallway!!! which is a stupid rule...but yeah bryan is pretty cool, when he's not being a sexual talker...

aaron and i chilled in my room, and didn't go to sleep til 5.30ish...finally got up at 1.30

lol...

wenros — 2006-09-02T03:09:03-05:00

according to profile, my relationship is: ???in question???... it's kinda like a rollercoaster...ups and downs, and yet i can't seem to get off...one thing for sure...i love him!!! officially, unoffically ENGAGED!!!

lmao...man that was so long ago...i love him, and he'll always be the love of my life...but come on, let's move on vanessa!!!

uh-oh, i think i fucked up...

wenros — 2006-09-04T05:09:58-05:00

so there is this guy...and there is this girl...he's like "the whole summer all i could think about was you, i'm still not over you, i love you"...and all of a sudden he's like "ok, i lied, i did get over you...this summer, i don't know why i told you that...and it really doesn't matter if i get laid or not" then he wonders why this girl is semi-but-not-really trippin'...

fuckity fuck fuck fuck

wenros — 2006-09-04T05:09:35-05:00

i don't get it, you're the person i go to when all the world comes crumbling down and no one is there for me...you were there the whole time i cried...you were there the whole time everyone saw me as a piece of shit...you were there when they all turned against me...no matter how bad it got between us, you were there...i make you bleed, and you're still there...but when i tell you that you hurt me, you throw it all in my face...you may not say anything, but not letting me speak does the same...now i'm crying, and i don't know who to turn to...it sucks cause i want to call you, to talk about you...

why the fuck are you being like this i don't know...i'm trying to talk to you, and yet you make me feel like shit...fuck...tell me, what do i do???

you won't speak to me, you make excuses...but are they any good, or are they all lies...i know i've hurt you, and i hurt myself too...but i thought we could move on, put it all behind us...we both sit there lying in each others faces, but has it done us any good...we think we can lie to ourselves, but we both know it's there...

i am sorry for everything...for telling you and for not telling you...for wanting you and for not...for pushing you away, and for pulling you so close...but what i am to do??? we can't be what we feel...that's just how it is...

i thought you were just a thing to play with, and i'm sorry...you're more than that...you mean the world to me, our friendship means the world to me...we're so different from everyone else, that makes us who we are...

why do you put up with my shit, i don't know...but deep down inside i know you just want to get up and go...i'm sorry for everything...i don't know what to say...

i try to speak to you, and yet you're making it seem as if i'm not ready...YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T BE LIKE THEM!!! and here you are...taking a number...adding to the list...

i fucked up, i know it...but i'm trying to make right...

bookmark updates...

wenros — 2006-09-07T12:09:04-05:00

so i've update my bookmarks with some stuff that i get kicks out of...the THIS IS SAD!!! is the main one that got my attention...it talks about how 5 year olds, yeah 5 yr olds are worried about their weight!!! who the fuck is thinking about weight at 5??? at that age i was thinking about how the other kids are dumber than me...etc...

so yeah...check that out when and if ya do get a chance...

muahZ have a good one...

life...does it matter...

wenros — 2006-09-07T03:09:57-05:00

there comes a time in one's life where we make some drastic mistakes...well at the moment we see them that way, because we can't see them any other...i too have made many of these mistakes in this so called life...but in the end, somewhere deep down there, they manage to count...for the future that is...we've all had people come and go...we've had our moments with so called friends, but life is just like that, and endless cycle of shit that just makes the days worthwhile...

i'm pretty sure once we're all "grown up" and "look back at the time" where so and so happened, we'll see that eh, that mistake wasn't too bad...you may have lost a friend, but you've learned about trust and what not...or whatever the problem/situation may be...

i guess what i'm trying to say is that...fuck it, it's life...mistakes are meant to be made, and people sure as hell aren't perfect...so what if he stole your heart, or a pair of shoes, the importance was that he was there...and now we can laugh at it all...

"growing up" is such a tricky part in life...just laugh at it and move on...10 years or so from now, who will really care??? ok, well maybe you will, but that's about it...

fuck life and everything that comes with it, even if it is the cute guy in your bio class...

awesome ness...facebook apologizes...

wenros — 2006-09-08T01:09:58-05:00

An Open Letter from Mark Zuckerberg:
We really messed this one up. When we launched News Feed and Mini-Feed we were trying to provide you with a stream of information about your social world. Instead, we did a bad job of explaining what the new features were and an even worse job of giving you control of them. I'd like to try to correct those errors now.

When I made Facebook two years ago my goal was to help people understand what was going on in their world a little better. I wanted to create an environment where people could share whatever information they wanted, but also have control over whom they shared that information with. I think a lot of the success we've seen is because of these basic principles.

We made the site so that all of our members are a part of smaller networks like schools, companies or regions, so you can only see the profiles of people who are in your networks and your friends. We did this to make sure you could share information with the people you care about. This is the same reason we have built extensive privacy settings – to give you even more control over who you share your information with.

Somehow we missed this point with Feed and we didn't build in the proper privacy controls right away. This was a big mistake on our part, and I'm sorry for it. But apologizing isn't enough. I wanted to make sure we did something about it, and quickly. So we have been coding nonstop for two days to get you better privacy controls. This new privacy page will allow you to choose which types of stories go into your Mini-Feed and your friends' News Feeds, and it also lists the type of actions Facebook will never let any other person know about. If you have more comments, please send them over.

This may sound silly, but I want to thank all of you who have written in and created groups and protested. Even though I wish I hadn't made so many of you angry, I am glad we got to hear you. And I am also glad that News Feed highlighted all these groups so people could find them and share their opinions with each other as well.

About a week ago I created a group called Free Flow of Information on the Internet, because that's what I believe in – helping people share information with the people they want to share it with. I'd encourage you to check it out to learn more about what guides those of us who make Facebook. Tomorrow at 4pm est, I will be in that group with a bunch of people from Facebook, and we would love to discuss all of this with you. It would be great to see you there.

Thanks for taking the time to read this,

Mark

love and life...

wenros — 2006-09-16T12:09:09-05:00

is it possible to love, and be loved??? by the same person???

is it possible to love 2 people at the same time???

is it possible to fall out of love with one, just as you're falling for the other???

why is love such a tricky thing...why must we have these emotions???

un-describe-abl...

wenros — 2006-09-20T02:09:28-05:00

"So, what if I never hold you, yeah, or kiss your lips again?

Woooaah, so I never want to leave you and the memories of us to see

I beg don't leave me

Seize the day or die regrettig the time you lost

It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over

Trials in life, questions of us existing here, don't wanna die alone without you here

Please tell me what we have is real"

"I found you here, now please just stay for a while

I can move on with you around

I hand you my mortal life, but will it be forever?

I'd do anything for a smile, holding you 'til our time is done

We both know the day will come, but I don't want to leave you"

"Then take my hand and walk with me. Come to me, your sanctuary.

Take my hand, I'll take everything from you. I will sleep under your skin. I will. I will hold onto your heart. I will."

i think it's so sweet how he uses these corny lyrics to express his feelings for me...he's like that though...we say lyrics to each other, or sing to each other...lol...

life as we know it...

wenros — 2006-09-30T04:09:52-05:00

all i can say is M-EFFING WOW!!! life has just been like that for the past couple whiles...episode after episode after episode...so much shit is on my mind, i barely have enough time to worry about the little things...ie.myself...

living life to the fullest is not the positive outlook on life...you should instead think about doing everything at least once...

lmao...gn world...til the sun comes up, and so will i...

WTF is wrong?!?!?!

wenros — 2006-10-01T11:10:08-05:00

i thought we were good...i thought we were fine...but i guess it was all just a phase, something we had to go through...you said you'll love me no matter what...you said nothing could make it change...and yet i tell you what i have to do...and you just fucking push me away...i cry for you...i long for you...what do you want me to do...i know i fucked up...but we're only humans!!! you may not hurt me physically, but the way you tear up my heart is just the same...i can't say that i love you, but you damn well know how i feel...i'm so torn apart, i don't know where to go...you make me bleed inside...i long for the cuts!!!

BUT WHY DO YOU DO THIS!!!

you say you're not mad at me...but FUCK!!! what do you want me to do...

I'M FUCKING SORRY...SORRY THAT I CAME INTO YOUR LIFE!!!

i will do my best, to go along my own path...i've deleted you from everything i know...you are not existant...you are merely a thought, a fragment of what was my imagination...you're a pebble in a mountain...you're a grain of salt in the sea...you are no longer there for me!!!

i'm moving on...it was stupid for me to get involved...i've learned my lesson, and will go back to what i know...there is a man that loves me, through thick and thin...so i must go back now, for he is my only friend!!!

and now i am here crying...drowning myself in tears??? and for what??? FOR WHAT??? please tell me...

"and to think it was HIS b-day"

wenros — 2006-10-06T12:10:21-05:00

just wondering if this thing works or not...

interesting weekend!!!

wenros — 2006-10-09T02:10:42-05:00

this weekend was an interesting one...

friday i went with some friends to country and chilled for a bit...man, it was an effing good time...then came back and played a prank on a friend!!! lol...good times good times...

saturday went to lindsay's and made some burgers...and that's where all the drama started...

i was talking to babe, and some things were said, and he got upset and hung up...came back to my dorm around 2 am and was talking to a friend...well babe calls and i'm like "i'm chilling with X" he's like cool...so i was like "you'll always come first and what not"...we hang up and guess what i hear...i hear revving...i'm like "no, it can't be" and yep, it sure is...HE'S OUTSIDE OF MY DORM!!! he was so bothered by what i said on the phone, he actually drove the hour up here just to talk to me!!! WTF!!! X gets all heartbroken cause i'm begging babe to come back and come in...

shit gets out of control and people start crying...and i come back in my room about an hour later and tell babe about this other guy i've been seeing...he's like WTF and i'm like, i'm sorry i didnt' tell you sooner...so i'm crying and he's VERY understanding...*cause he did it to me before* and he's like, well it's your decision, do whatever you want...i realize some shit, and we end up having one of the most passionate sex hours ever!!! i was like WOW!!! we end up going to sleep at 6 something...

finally got up around 2 in the afternoon, and we're taking a shower, when i'm like..."baby, i love you soo much, and sometimes i just want to move on, and leave you behind...but if you're willing, to talk shit out, i'm willing to take a chance with you...but once we break up and see that it can't be fixed, we're moving on"...and he agreed!!! so as he was scrubbing my back, we got back together...it was adorable...

so i'm like FUCK!!! now i have to tell the other guy that we have to stop...i didn't get a chance to talk to the other guy til about 9 o clock at night!!! he didn't want to speak to me cause i fucking tore his heart apart, but after a few hours of cursing and forcing each other to listen, we finally spoke things out...he doesn't want to talk to me, cause he needs time to chill and figure it out, but after about a week or so, we should be on the road to steady...and i'm scared it just won't happen!!!

so i'm back together with babe...and i broke a guy's heart...

but on the lighter side...MY NIECE IS GETTING MARRIED!!! i'm so freaken happy for her!!!

FUCKING SHIT!!!

wenros — 2006-10-09T11:10:01-05:00

FUCK!!! THEY STOLE BABE'S CAR!!! and all they're going to do is strip it apart!!! he woke up late this morning cause he was feeling too sick to make it to work...his friend comes over and is like "where's your car???"

so now we're in the whole...but i'm getting a check this thursday, so i might withdraw all my money so he can put a down payment on another...

fuck, he's been working on this car for about a year now!!! everything was going good for him...he's only had it for about a month or so...

*he's called the cops, and is going to report it, and i'm iffy cause he still might have some warrants*

anyone in houston area: gray hatch ek...dropped about 2-5 off the ground...inside light blue...black tires...manly pink tailights...

FUCKING SHIT!!! and the one night he doesn't take his computer out!!!

moving on is so hard!!!

wenros — 2006-10-10T02:10:22-05:00

why do people always have to bring up old shit??? if i don't want to talk about, don't FUCKING FORCE ME TO!!!

i fucking hate how you say you're understanding, and yet you fucking try to mold me...i can't fucking bend every which way...i'm trying to fucking please everyone, i'm trying to fucking be there for everyone...but it's just so fucking hard when you're fucking all negative talk...ok, maybe i am making a mistake, but FUCK let me learn on my own!!!

i'm tired of telling people that i'm happy again, and all they can fucking say is YOU'RE MAKING A MISTAKE!!! big fucking deal...let me deal with this shit...i'm not a fucking 2 yr old, you don't always have to hold my hand...let me make my own mistakes, it will make me a stronger and better person in the end!!!

JUST FUCKING LET ME BE...and leave the past where it needs to be...

wow...

wenros — 2006-10-10T02:10:22-05:00

i was looking through my calendar...and i noticed an entry from august, so i was reading the comments...and wow, just reading it again just made everything go away...now i have a smiling face...and can go to sleep happy!!!

thank you ashleyjean

lol...

wenros — 2006-10-11T10:10:56-05:00

i drove jj home today...she wasn't feeling too good...funny thing was that she trust me to drive her car, and she wouldn't trust vick...lmao...and he's the one with the license...

she's awesome though...i'm so effing glad i met her...

so tomorrow i'ma laugh at her dumbass in class...

fucking shit...lol...ju... like that...

wenros — 2006-10-16T01:10:46-05:00

i guess there comes a time in one's life where we're like..."fuck it, gotta grow up"...

yup, this weekend was one of those...the one where you see yourself on a path and wonder what the fuck you're going to do about it...which way to go, here, there, no where???

ah...life, how the fuck does it manage to get so tricky??? but yeah...

growing up is a fucking difficult part of life, but hey I GOT SOMEONE TO HELP ME ALONG THE WAY!!! and that's the only thing that matters at the moment...

THAT HE'S HERE FOR ME JUST AS MUCH AS I AM FOR HIM...

i love my babe, and i don't give a fuck about anything else...ok, well my daddy might come first, but other than that, babe is my all...

life is so fucking sweet it pisses me off!!!

hopefully in about 5 years i'll know the whole meaning of all of this...i want my own gianna...

living life to the fullest, that's all i got to say!!!

SO EFFING HAPPY!!!

wenros — 2006-10-19T10:10:55-05:00

today is my 4 years with babe...we've been through some shit, but it just makes it better...he's gonna pick me up tomorrow in his NEW CAR!!! i'm so happy for him...he got a s2000...and it's metallic blue...

things are going good as of now...

i miss my babe...

what a night...

wenros — 2006-10-27T03:10:33-05:00

the girls had the halloween party at kaylah's tonight...and wow, it was just wow...by the time i got there, all the girls were drunk, except sam-she's pregnant...there was hardly anyone there at first, then after a while, everyone started to show up...it was hella fun though...had a couple of jello shots, and some drank...got tipsy for a bit, but i was taking care of morgan most of the time...she was FUCKING WASTED!!! she's adorable though, and as long as no guy was trying to touch her, or dance with her, i was cool with it...

i almost got into it with some guy, he was saying shit about the girls at the party, and i was like "bitch if you're gonna say shit, say it to me, and in my face, don't be fucking whispering"...and then he went off on how girls are stupid cause once they've had drank in them, they let guys do shit...then he has the nerve to put his hand on me...lol...*yes juan, the ghetto in me came out* and i got pissed "touch me again and watch what happens, you don't know me, so don't fucking touch me"...and that's when zaki got up to calm me down...then i had to go help morgan pee...she's adorable, i swear!!!

bich came, and man we were some strippers...i even made teddy do a split!!! lol...it was hell of a fun night...

then some shit went down, and we all just split...

brothers poetry...

wenros — 2006-10-28T12:10:32-05:00

my brothers friend passed away from cancer this past week, she was about 24 years old...he expresses himself beautifully through poetry...spoken words...

"My soul can't rest today.

I can't bring my self to pray.

I get down on my knees

Cause you will always be six feet underneath me."

Rest her body.

Protect her soul.

I've known her since she was 18 years old.

Smiles and Cries;

Life defies all reason and logic for explanations of why.

Taken too soon, but not too late.

Just before noon, her body consumed by fate.

From Disease and disaster to Smiles and laughter
which plastered every inch of her character.

It is crucial to add how her beautiful was unusual.

Mind and body, she embodied

Honesty,

Sincerity, and clarity.

I can't control myself.

Can't control what's felt.

I wish I had an off switch for what could kill.

Can't control the tears.

Can't control my fears.

Can't control the years

She was here.

Possessed and positioned, Confessed and resistant.

Transgressed as I envision protecting her from remission.

I can't lie and pretend, when it comes to the beginning and end,

My intentions are like "Take me instead."

Between Life and death,

Pounding my chest attempting to compare her last breathe before rest.

I wish I could dissolve all that did you wrong.

I wish I could right the wrong.

Wish I could move along.

I'm depleted, but her spirit soars greeted

By He who has me defeated.

These are my problems

And don't try to solve them.

Why take what is great,

But leave the bad for all the rest to have.

People say you're in a better place,

A better space,

Call me selfish, but I can't face

Not see seeing your face.

Things can't be this way,

Not for you, at least.

I wish I could save you from this eternal peace.

I'm sorry.

"My heart's split, its broken into a million pieces,

Help me Jesus,

Help me Jesus!"

ME Stud, HIM decent...lol...

wenros — 2006-10-28T07:10:16-05:00

me and my baby at Copa Cabana...

it's a decent pic of the both of us...

he's in for it now...

wenros — 2006-11-06T10:11:56-05:00

this is my little brother getting arrested this morning...the chubby guy with the grey shirt on is my little brother...this is what i woke up to this morning...what a way to start off the day or week for that matter...i love him and will do anything for him!!! *ironically i just had an exam over assault with deadly weapon in my criminal justice class*

Car-jacking leads to shooting, Chase

and another video...they even have a slide show about it...

Other video

funny thing...

wenros — 2006-11-08T12:11:09-05:00

people are effing hilarous!!!

btw, i am so happy and awkwardly i am failing all of my classes!!! but i don't care...i really don't want to be in school to begin with...i just want to move on with my life...

and even though i kinda do...I DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHO READS THIS...

ps to anyone who pays mind to this:

IF I HEAR SHIT ABOUT WHAT'S ON HERE FROM SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T HAVE AN ACCOUNT, TRUST ME YOUR ASS IS MINE, DON'T FUCK WITH ME, YOU MIGHT THINK YOU KNOW WHAT I'M CAPABLE OF, BUT DO YOU REALLY??? AND IF YOU DO HAVE AN ACCOUNT, AND I DON'T FUCKING TALK TO YOU ON THAT LEVEL, AND I DON'T EVEN FUCKING CARE ABOUT YOU BEING A HUMAN BEING, THEN FUCKING STAY AWAY...

DON'T FUCKING USE MINDSAY AS AN EXCUSE TO POKE INTO MY LIFE...STAY ON YOUR SIDE OF THE NET PAGE!!!

this is not a threat however, just my personal disclaimer...

HAVE a FUCKING great DAY!!!

NCC's & RBD

wenros — 2006-11-14T10:11:57-05:00

the AWESOME ncc's at SWACURH!!!

something from somewhere...one of those things

wenros — 2006-11-19T03:11:33-05:00

I'm sorry
that i bought you roses
to tell you that i like you

I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not an asshole

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of goin out..

I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just f*** you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry
If I start not being there, and being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new asshole comes around

I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours,

I'm sorry that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can't ever do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm Sorry
That i cared

I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talk about how you wish you could have done something different.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care But most of all

I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore

Ladies always bitch and bitch to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies next time you're bitching, maybe look up to see who you're bitching to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

SWACURH 2006

wenros — 2006-11-19T03:11:20-05:00

ok, so at conferences there is this thing that everyone does SWAP/SWAP SHOP...the point is to trade stuff with other schools; it can be anything from clothing,attire, backpacks, cups, stickers, and the most famous CLOTHES PINS!!!...and there are the few times that someone doesn't have something to trade, so they are willing to do things...such as my friend here, he put about 30 clothes pins on his face for one of our shirts!!! lol... the shirt he got is one of the Party In The Pit shirt (glows in the dark); delegates shown here with shirt on...

i miss SWACURH!!! go duckies go!!!

bleh life!!! bleh it all...

wenros — 2006-12-02T03:12:09-05:00

i feel like removing myself from this life...i don't particularly mean killing myself, but literally just getting up and going somewhere else...running away from everything i know...i'm seriously considering not coming back to school spring semester...i don't want to be here, i just want nothing from no one...i freaking despise academics and requirements!!!

i fucked up really badly with relationships, and i just want to make things right...someone please tell me what to do...this is my heart crying out for help...i care too much about him, to just throw it all away...he gets upset at the things he has no control over, and he doesn't understand and won't let me explain myself...i want him in my life, but i don't want either of us hurting...i know he wants for me to be happy, but i can't when i know deep down inside he is hurting...

"you're going to be the death of me".... him} you already did that to me...

Life dissolving before my eyes...

wenros — 2006-12-02T03:12:07-05:00

Blue October - Into the Ocean

I'm just a normal boy
That sank when I fell overboard
My ship would leave the country
But I'd rather swim ashore

Without a life vest, I'd be stuck again
Wish I was much more masculine
Maybe then I could learn to swim
Like 'fourteen miles away'

Now floating up and down
I spin, colliding into sound
Like whales beneath me diving down
I'm sinking to the bottom of my
Everything that freaks me out
The lighthouse beam has just run out
I'm cold as cold as cold can be
be

I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves up take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion (yeah)
Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down
Let the rain come down

Where is the coastguard
I keep looking each direction
For a spotlight, give me something
I need something for protection
Maybe flotsam junk will do just fine
The jetsam sunk, I'm left behind
I'm treading for my life believe me
(How can I keep up this breathing)

Not knowing how to think
I scream aloud, begin to sink
My legs and arms are broken down
With envy for the solid ground
I'm reaching for the life within me
How can one man stop his ending
I thought of just your face
Relaxed, and floated into space

I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves up take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion (yeah)
Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down
Let the rain come down

Now waking to the sun
I calculate what I had done
Like jumping from the bow (yeah)
Just to prove I knew how (yeah)
It's midnight's late reminder of
The loss of her, the one I love
My will to quickly end it all
So thought no end my need to fall

Into the ocean, end it all
Into the ocean, end it all
Into the ocean, end it all
into the ocean, end it all

[Zayra]
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)

I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves up take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion (yeah)
Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down
Let the rain come down

Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
(In to space)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
(I thought of just your face)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)

lmao...

wenros — 2006-12-05T02:12:53-05:00

first things first:

YOU CANNOT ALWAYS BELIEVE WHAT IS WRITTEN...

yeah, life can be tricky sometimes, but it has to be that...if life was perfect, then i would be happy...well not really, cause i'd get freaked out for not having an argument...

well a friend is layed out on my bed...poor sweety, well i'ma let 'em get some rest...so no more typing, gotta get back to writing my research paper...

wish me luck everyone!!!

what have relationships come to???

wenros — 2006-12-06T02:12:56-05:00

so as we talked for about 3 hours, we came to realize it's best we just move on and leave what happened in the past...it fucking hurt like hell to plead with him, but i know it's the best thing to do...we've talked about it for so long, and it's finally time to let go...as of now, nothing good could come of us, but i know he could've made me happy and i to him...

it hurt so bad to say "if you love me, please let me go!!!" but there was really no other way...we promised each other to be there no matter what, but i dunno how long that is going to happen...he promised to not leave me when i needed him the most...funny thing how life is...just the other day we promised each other, no matter how bad it got between us, we would not completely erase one from another's lives...

i fucking cried, knowing today will be the last to hear him say "i love you" with that meaning only i know could exist, but i know the next person he says it to is going to be special, and will make him so fucking happy...he's one of the best things that has come into my life, it seems as if no matter how bad it got, there he was, not turning away...he tried his hardest to be there the best he could...and i thank him for that...

even though i know it hurt him to say his goodbye's, it felt soo good...just knowing that i was free from him made it all seem so peaceful...i know he's hurting inside, cause trust me, i am too...but we both see this as a "positive" thing...

he won't allow for me to call him my best friend, but instead close friend, cause it's too soon, and he wants to work on it a tad more...and i respect that...i've always respected him...yeah at times i treated him like shit, but what people don't??? he's fucking awesome though...too bad he's not my awesome anymore...

i'm going to fucking miss him...and it hurts just to think about it...as we were saying our goodbyes i managed to scream out a "i fucking hate you, you know that?!?!?!" and he knew love and fear was the only thing behind those words...

"we've talked the talk for so long, and now we have to walk the walk"

"let me slip away"

yay!!!

wenros — 2006-12-07T07:12:30-05:00

today's my little brother's b-day!!! he's 21 yay!!! and now he can go to bars Legally!!! lol...he's adorable...and yes, the one that got arrested...

i called him this morning as i was getting ready for my psych class, and there was no answer, but i left him a message...

i have no idea what to get him...he has tons, and i mean tons of clothes...he has about 50 pairs of shoes or so...he has his truck, with his system...he has my name tatted on his arm...so i have no idea on what to get him...maybe a video game??? i dunno...maybe some socks??? i have no idea what to get him!!! any ideas??? he has a $200 budget...*that's a lot of socks...lol!!!*

*he just called me!!! i love my brother*

hot dog!!!

wenros — 2006-12-11T02:12:55-05:00

so i was chatting with aaron, and i started to scratch my belly...i look down and there are all these little red dots on my tummy...so now i am heading to the bathroom to take a bubble bath because i might've gotten an allergic reaction to something...it freaken itches!!! aaron thinks it's the roast beef i ate earlier...but i dunno...

hopefully when i get out of the bath i will be cured!!!!!!!

fine women, fine time...

wenros — 2006-12-11T02:12:30-05:00

Us females at T-ravs cocktail party last night...from 9-3 or 4; don't quite remember...good times with good people...what started as a simple, casual night, ended up as a 10 person orgy...LMAO!!!

*deniz, lilia, myself, and jessica*

WHAT TO DO???

wenros — 2006-12-15T05:12:27-05:00

so my best friend might be going through a suicidal phase...earlier he was so excited about making good grades, and just about half hour ago he gave me his most precious blanket and he says "no, i want you to have it, i won't need it anymore"...and if that is not screaming suicide, i don't know what is...i've known him for a year, and have always bugged him about taking his blanket, even earlier he told me "i'd give you whatever you want, anything i have, but not my blanket"...and all of a sudden this???

he promised me to not do anything stupid tonight...but i dunno...i care so much about him, but i don't know what to do...

winter holiday break drama...

wenros — 2007-01-09T06:01:00-05:00

yeah, my break sucked, but i won't let it ruin my new year... some things that happened:

*cousins came to house to reminisce about all the murders and deaths of 2k6 in my village in Mexico
*babe told j about us, and now they're not friends anymore...15 years down the drain
*family is iffy cause of babe and me
*New Year's sucked cause everyone was upset about babe and me
*proposed to babe and he said YES!!! lol...
*realized what i have is too much to get rid of
*matured/grew up in some sense
*moved babe's things to his new house
*helped brother move to his new house
*went to porn shops!!! :) :) :)

even though i am forced to come back to school, i am making the best of it...
*only have 2 on monday, CJ at 2 pm!!! and latin dance at 6!!!
*tues/thur from 9:30 - 2 pm
*wed astronomy lab at 10 - 12 *starts in 2 wks*
*i don't have classes on friday

what am i to do with all this free time??? since babe has sun/mon off from work, 1 won't be too early for us to wake up...by then we'd have eaten breakfast and he can go do w/e he has to do...

i've already e-mailed my office hours, so all is left is getting ready for tomorrow... my day starts at noon with office hours then CJ & dance...

i'm really hoping to have a good semester, if not year...

2k7 HERE I COME!!!

4 Day weekend...

wenros — 2007-01-15T04:01:35-05:00

I'm so happy to have a 4-day weekend, but it kinda sucks cause i'm stuck here at school...

thursday night we (aaron/i) went to jenn's b-day party...we got there at 7.30 and they were freaken wasted already...i swear all those people do is get high or drunk...but anyways, aaron jumped on the bandwagon and started to hit the bong with vodka shots and beer...they were meeting random people in the hall, and being friendly people, they invited everyone who came across their path to drink with them...they ended up making friends with some guy and went down to his room to smoke it out...i was bored, i dunno if it was because i was the only sober one, or because i couldn't believe what i was seeing...it was a huge turn off when they started talking about snorting some coke...but whatever...with everyone being drunk, the party ended at 11.30, and i had to deal with 4 drunk people, aaron being one of them...being the mature person i waited around for an hour and bugged them to let me drive them home...they wanted to sober up a tad then drive themselves...fuck that, i won't have that on my conscience..... it amuses me how everyone trusts me to drive when they are all fucked up, i don't have a license, but i've been driving for about 3 years or so...shhh...that's my secret...so i drove them back to my place...

aaron had a horrible hangover friday, so he ditched all his classes, and spent the day with me...pretty awesome, we watched tv and katie & i screamed at him, claiming we were speaking regularly...lol....will and i stayed up and heading out to donut wheel at 4.00, katie ended up taking us...we finally went to sleep around 5 or something...lol...

saturday was hella-fun...we got up at noon and went to the pool, will. lindsay. aaron went to swim, while i sat on the sidelines in my top reading poli sci...i hate swimming and swimsuits!!! but i went along cause it was lins and my idea...then we got back and got ready for houston...went to angelika theater and watched History Boys, it's an english movie, but it turned out quite fun...i'd recommend it...after that we went to spaghetti warehouse for dinner...our waitress was awesome, she was bitching at the staff, so i was translating to the guys so they could get a kick out of her too....she didn't charge us for dessert or for our drinks...so we left her a 15 + tip...then we drove around for a bit and after heading north will realized he wanted to go home...lmao, so we drove an hour and something to his house...lin was pissed cause he told her it's 15 min, away, BULLSHIT!!! went to his house, then she got tired, so we headed back...after a few lightning storms we made it back at 1.30...aaron stayed with me for a bit, cause i'm scared of lightning...i have no idea how long we stayed up til, maybe 3 or 4...

woke up sunday around 3...lmao!!! i'm sick as hell, so i just bum around...went to eat lunch at the cafe...aaron and i got into it a tad, i swear we do that shit to see who can get pissed the most...lmao...so he finally came around 1.30 or something...we just bummed watching discovery health and other crap...he finally gave out at 8.30 Pussy!!! lmao...he was surprised that i being sick wasn't budging to go to sleep...lmao!!!

woke up today at freaking 1.30, yes, 5 freaken hours of sleep!!! i finally had a convo with babe today, and he says it's not healthy for me to spend all that time with aaron...it's not a trust issue, it's just that feelings are involved and he doesn't want anyone to get hurt...man, i love this guy, we've been through some shit about trust, but things are different now, and i love him so much, and he knows i wouldn't let anything jeopardize our relationship!!!

everyone is hoping school is canceled tomorrow, cause i hate the freaken cold weather!!! i don't' have anyone to cuddle with!!! but i get to use my shipley's cup!!! yay hot chocolate/cocoa!!!

moving on...AGAIN!!! freaken hate this!!!

wenros — 2007-01-17T06:01:08-05:00

so what better way to move on, than to delete and remove all that remains??? i'm taking down pictures...deleting messages, storing letters, and thinking about hiding the stuffed animals...i won't throw anything away, cause what for??? i would like to laugh at this in the future...so hopefully this time we finally go through with it...

***everynight before i go to sleep, i pray aaron stops breathing in the middle of his dreams, when i wake, i thank god he is still here-so i can make his life a living hell...what can i say, WE DISPISE EACH OTHER!!!***

***"hey im vindicated now so you can hate me today and hate me tomorrow" ~ man's best friend...the best pup a man can buy...***

secretly it hurts, but i am too much of a man with huge balls that i won't show it~~~> i refuse to show it!!!

LMAO!!! do you believe???

wenros — 2007-01-19T12:01:36-05:00

A tablespoon of semen contains approximately six calories. Semen also contains dozens of chemicals and minerals, including sugar, vitamin B12, calcium, and zinc.

lmao...swallow up...ok, gn...

I LOVE MY DADDY!!!

wenros — 2007-01-19T05:01:54-05:00

so i went home monday cause i was getting sick, and i am such a weiner when i come down with anything...since school was cancelled tues. i spent the day with my mommy sleeping and drinking tea...yummy!!! babe came to see me tuesd. night and we brought some chicken for dinner...my daddy loves it when i bring home food, he gets all excited like a little kid...i freaken love him!!! if only i could've taken a pic everytime i brought him ice cream from work over the summer!!! ne ways...

my daddy is a very old man who has no right to be working, but because we are of lower class, he has no choice but to sacrifice what muscles he has left...i love him so much...so we got home with the chicken and he was asleep at the table...he freaken got hurt cutting a granite or marble stone...well the pieces flew everywhere, his wrist was swollen, he got hit in the ribs and in the face...i hate that i'm not a million-aire so he won't have to work...so he was telling babe and i about his day...

he was working in the garage of some ladies house, cause he was using the wet saw, and the house has carpet...or wooden floors, either way, he could fuck shit up...so the weather was in houston at about 30 degrees or so...and he only had like a sweater and an overcoat, which still is no good when you're working with a wet saw that has COLD water and the garage door open...he has a heater, but the button pops out like every 5 minutes so it's more frustrating than warm...but he loves his heater, so we can't throw it out...lol...

then he was telling us how he works for this guy that is very fucking rude...a couple of years back the guy didn't want to pay him... my daddy ends up blocking the drive way, so the man won't leave w/o paying...daddy ends up calling dan *who happens to be an FBI agent, and one of my daddies bosses* dan calls the rude bastard and the guy writes my daddy his check and throws it out of the window onto the pavement!!! i fucking hate rich snobby rude people!!! so what does my daddy do??? he tells his workers to pack up and go home...the guy is like "where the hell are you going" and my amazing father is like "i may be poor and need your money, but i am no ones animal to be picking anything off the floor, we're leaving"...so as my daddy gets in his van the fucking bastard gets the check and runs up to his window, apologizes and apologizes...

so he's doing another job for this man, cause my daddy is an awesome worker and quite talented in the ceramic/tile department...and the fucking guy makes a "joke" about my father's attire, saying something about him looking like a begger and sorts...i was almost to the point of crying...i hate that!!! getting fucking picked on for being poor and shit...

i used to get picked on in elementary school because my shoes weren't name brand...who's business is it that i was always in mexico right before school started, so that's where we would buy our clothes...we always left the day school finished, and got back the morning school started...

in a way, i'm glad that i was raised poor, it makes me a stronger person...when someone whines cause their parents won't give them their weekly $100, i laugh and smile...i love my family and i'm proud to say, yeah i'm poor, but my family is richer than yours in many other ways...lmao...

lmao...the things people do...

wenros — 2007-01-19T06:01:43-05:00

so i like to check the news everynow and then...this just made my day!!!

People and their silly divorce cases

this really irks me!!!

wenros — 2007-01-19T06:01:44-05:00

another myspace lawsuit

ok, so seriously, i do feel bad for the people that are hurt in the process of making myspace friends, but COME THE FUCK ON!!! ok, so these people set up accounts, they "extended their network" by adding random people, or accepting requests...does that make sense??? why the fuck would you add someone you don't know??? yeah you want to make friends, but fucking stick to a network, are you that fucking lonely in life you can only speak over the internet??? it really bothers me how these people, who nevermind are under 18, go out and meet their "friends" they met on myspace or any internet blog/chat!!! you can't always blame the parents, they can only do so much...

this is my strategy...in my myspace network (yes i have a ms) i started off ONLY ADDING PEOPLE FROM MY GRADUATING CLASS FROM MY SCHOOL!!! then i searched for people i lost touch with after middle school, then people from elementary school...get the picture??? so 80% of my network is the same as my friends...i've added a couple of people here and there, mainly because i knew them through a friend...

i noticed once i changed from straight to bisexual/lesbian i got more friend requests...so i decline all the guys, and add only the girls who are not only in my state, but if they happen to go to the same school as me...but most of the time, i just say DECLINE!!! and i guess this is the step that most kids who get abducted forget to see...YOU DO NOT HAVE TO ACCEPT EVERY PERSON WHO WANTS TO BE YOUR FRIEND!!! i don't care if his picture is so cute and he's hot as hell!!!

so now it seems as if i am angry at the world for not making friends, but that's just my take...

what i don't seem to understand is why these people go out and meet this people, and alone for {higher power}'s sake!!! i guess everyone wants to make friends, but please BE CAREFUL!!! do you not see the news or read the paper...if you're on the internet you have to at least see one story of a person being assaulted from a myspace buddy...so why don't you wise up???

so apparently myspace is using some technology now for parents to keep track of their kids...then kids wonder why they don't get any privacy anymore...it shouldn't even have to go to these measures...but eh, what do i know, i only have about 100 friends in my network...

and girls STOP LYING ABOUT YOUR AGE!!! men/women are sexual in nature, if you show it, they want it...simple as that...myspace is so trashy at times...

so if you're starting up an account first start by keeping your friends, then making some, and if you do be careful...

*sigh*

wenros — 2007-01-22T11:01:10-05:00

why does life have to be so complicated once you try to piece yourself back together??? i don't understand what i am doing wrong...i am trying and yet i can't even get acknowledgment of that...

latin dance was fun today...i freaken had to make a quick run to payless cause i didn't have any shoes i thought would be appropriate for class...so they're some emerald color, i just needed something to dance with...we learned the basics of merengue today...it was hella funny going into that class...it's funny to know that i could've been some snobby girl *like the one in class* and walked in with "i already know this" attitude...but i didn't...my mentality was "eh, i'll probably learn some new moves"...

got off kinda bad, i hate dancing slowly to something upbeat, but i just laughed with morgan and made funny faces in the mirrors...lol...front row is amazing!!! lol...partnering was pretty cool...it was quite amusing to be taught STEP for STEP...i was noticing things i did were harder to do when i concentrated...lmao...so yeah, my partner was pretty cool, she's pretty smooth...the teacher kept complementing us :)...i was having fun with the hips and beat and she was all like "that's good, get into it"...lmao...then i asked for permission to take off my heels, and it was on!!! lmao...it's so much easier for me to dance on my tips than to dance with heels...

i think the best compliment the teach gave me was when morgan and i became partners...she told morgan "be careful with this one, she's going to make you dance" lmao...the whole time i was dancing i was thinking of flaca...she would have an awesome time in that class...i just can't wait til we dance cumbias, so i can show some of my moves!!! i'ma have to definitely get used to heels...

i went an hour!!! yay me!!!

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

wenros — 2007-01-26T04:01:26-05:00

it seems as if i am doing fine...then the slightest memory of you breaks me down...why you have this power over me is still a mystery...i just want it to end and wake up not thinking of the hours to come...it's funny to look behind me and only imagine what was there...i will cherish everything...the good and the bad, because that my dear lost soul, is what brought us closer...i hope to have you here, next to me, around me...close to me...but i know that day is not anytime soon...every time i cry, i want the tears to take a part of you away from me...and yet i let them roll down my face, hoping they won't drop to the ground...you will always be in my heart, but i know you are doing better than being here...when allowed, we will meet again!!!!!!!!!!!!

*yawn*

wenros — 2007-01-27T05:01:42-05:00

going to be in the next 20 min's or so...why do i do this to myself??? i have no idea...i haven't done any type of homework all day...i lie, i did do like 2 min's worth...i found a ton of quarters today!!! lmao...

lmao...good fun...

wenros — 2007-01-27T07:01:31-05:00

so i just sat here for about an hour or so listening to MICHAEL JACKSON!!! he's awesome!!! then i started thinking back on when i was little, i would sit in the corner with my headphones in the boombox, listening to his cd's...robert thought it was the cutest thing in the world, cause i would have the case open and be reading along....lmao...man, i was adorable!!!!!!!

wah wah wah...

wenros — 2007-01-30T09:01:16-05:00

so you have me here crying...and you won't let me go...what do you want me to do...i'm freaken sorry, but you know how i feel...i know you're sorry, you've said it before, but nothing you say will make it better...i freaken know you love me, trust me i do...but you've never lost me...you DON'T know what it's like to lose me...and i have...i fucking lost you, how do you think that makes me feel...i don't want to lose you ever again!!! whatever guy came across my path, none of them mattered, cause i only wanted you...not once did you fucking lose me, not once... i told you i would get over it, and leave it in the past, but i can't...i fucking can't, and i'm sorry...

i was fucking in love with you...what did you want me to do...i would rather have you FUCK HER than fucking GIVE HER YOUR HEART...i will always forgive you for a fuck, but fuck, you wanted her!!! no matter what i did, nothing could compare to her...i didn't matter...it's no point in expressing myself, nothing is going to change...

you say you understand, but it's taken you how long...

funny things which were created in this world of ours...

wenros — 2007-02-06T07:02:42-05:00

Corpse Flower

so yeah, i thought that was cute...and i've been thinking about it all day....

dreams are awkward...

wenros — 2007-02-07T01:02:41-05:00

so this past weekend i've had some really violent dreams...some were fist altercations, and others were shoot-outs...i've forgotten my dreams for the most part, but i know if i sit and think, i can tell it all...it was just really weird...cause i usually dream like ""happy" things...not bunnies or anything, but not violent either...

when i woke up, i was more confused than anything...usually the first thing that comes to mind is "please let it be after 12" but nope, it was more like "wtf did i just dream"...so i dunno...

i would like to freaken find a dream dictionary thingamajigger, but none of them have been much use to me...so i dunno...my mommy says dreams say alot about your life and what-not...but i don't dare tell her my dreams, i'm too afraid she'll find something out about me...

kinda like the whole Jc thing...i would like for her to do the card thing, but she's good at it, and she can find stuff i don't want to bring to the light just yet...so yeah...i dunno...

so i've been trying to stay positive before i sleep, so i can have some good ones again...

ok, for some odd reason i'm making myself stay up longer than i intend...and i have no freaken clue why...then if i yawn a couple of times, my sleep goes away, then i'm stuck here trying to get myself to sleep...so i dunno...

i have to go to the doctor, something isn't right...
i want to go home, there is nothing like kicking the covers all over and not worrying about these freaken walls...
i want to talk to j, but he's just not having it...and i think the wedding is making it worse...

i think i know what i want to do with my life, but i dunno, i'm just not sure if i am "good enough" or whatever people call it...i would like to wake up one day, and not worry about what am i going to do with myself...i think that's why i enjoy weekends, cause i don't have to shower, brush my teeth or do anything, until i feel like i have to...during the week on the other hand, i have to be up at a certain hour and shit...i hate being a girl, i freaken can't stand having to put up my hair...& i also can't stand it just being there...

i think i just want to be hugged...not for like pity or anything, but a hug, just so i can be like "*sigh* wow that felt good" then sink back into the world i live in...i dunno, i like hugs, and lately i haven't been given many...

i miss babe, i only freaken saw him 2wice!!! i can't stand not seeing him, then again i don't want to see him...i ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS DISTANCE!!! it's far enough for me to miss him, but close enough to get him here...i love him, i love us...he makes me happy, just thinking of him...he's adorable...

i dunno what life is about anymore...please tell me ...

being naughty in nomansland...

wenros — 2007-02-08T04:02:17-05:00

i know better...but fuck...it's just too good to be true...

tis funny how the least of all peoples are the ones...

blah, my mind is sorta confused at the moment...

*i know my limits i know my limits i know my limits i know my limits*

life is full of mysteries...and the rate they come is just...just pretty darn fucked up...

shit!!!

wenros — 2007-02-09T05:02:40-05:00

so i gots a couple of things on my mind...

1.) i freaken find those astrology things funny...so i decided to go ahead and click it...lmao...*copy paste*

A new person in your life is intensifying efforts to communicate with you. Give yourself time to sort through how you feel about this, because you might not know how to react at first. This person is still a bit of a mystery to you, and you might not be quite sure what to think. Is it all some sort of joke? In a very odd way, this confusion will be refreshing and exciting to you. Instead of frustrating you, this person is putting you in touch with a new part of yourself.

LMFAO!!! is this not wtf i was talking about earlier...man, i've been laughing so hard all day when i think of this...

2.) some people can be so effing stupid sometimes...i mean there you are trying to be the better person, and fucking shit happens...i mean, COME THE FUCK ON!!! i am fucking working on this, and yet they fucking wanna act this way with me...it seems to me as if all i have to do is breathe for people to be saying stupid shit about me...i feel like listening to that Rumor song by L.Lohan...seriously!!!



3.) despite all this freaking drama...i went to the bar today, met some new AWESOME people, and some horny guys and had me a good time :) :) :) left at 9, and just got back into my room at freaken 3.30...so yeah, this has been a good relaxing moment...babe was so cute about "giving me permission" to go...lol...

sometimes, all you need to do is sit back, let the world pass you by and take in all the fucking drama it has to offer!!!

what to do what to do!!!

look...it's me...lmao...

wenros — 2007-02-12T04:02:07-05:00

mark came over, and he kept bugging me to take a pic...so this is how it came out...

as you can tell, i don't wear make-up...i don't do my eye brows, and i only wore chapstick...the t-zone was kinda oily as well...my skin is really weird at times...

and i came out really pale...i do that sometimes in pix...but fuckit...it was dark in my room, used only the flash of his phone...

PLEASE READ!!!

wenros — 2007-02-13T03:02:56-05:00

If you're not from the "great" state of Texas, you may not have heard, Texas Legislature is trying to give our school a name change. From our prestige name of Sam Houston State University to Texas State University Sam Houston, which doesn't make us stand out from the already many Texas Universities...

what kind of bull is that??? how can you take something of so much presitge, recognition to a simple TS-Sam Houston??? We are one of the oldest schools, I don't understand this...

So please sign the official petition at PetitionUSA.com

This cannot happen!!!

ummm...interest...

wenros — 2007-02-14T03:02:37-05:00

went with lindsay and the girls to lizards...it was open mic night, so it was pretty interesting...for some really odd reason, there were plenty of gay guys there, but it was quite the interesting...

larissa was there, and she is one hell of a funny person...she's awesome, with or without alcohol in her system...lol...

there were about 5 pitchers of beer at the table, so yeah, people were plenty drunk...meet some more interesting people...

i got some people to talk, and he got her number, which was pretty interesting...

after that we went over to brandyn's casa...and the weirdest shit happened, which happened to be the highlight of my night...

there were 2 girls standing out the gas station, asking for money to stay at a hotel, and to make a call...so i lended them my phone, and we let them in the car...it was 37 degrees out, so i was not going to let them just stand there...

apparently the girls are 16, one has a kid, and the other is girlfriends with a 17 yr old pot head...their parents are quite not the most responsible...what pissed me off was the guy was like "5 min, 5 min" and it took him 15 min's to get there...poor girls, they seriously need to get their life together...i gave them some advice, which they took or not, but i gave it to them...there is more to the story, but i don't want to go into that...

we finally went over to brandyn's place...and sarah was there...we talked for a bit, which ended up being a freaken hour long!!! guys can be so stupid sometimes...i felt really bad cause lindsay didn't want to be there that long...

to make matters worse, we got pulled over!!! luckily the cop was nice enough to let her off with a warning: her license plates light was out...so that was cool, but lindsay was freaken out...poor chick, i felt really really really really guilty...so now i am home, safe and very much sober...

the night was pretty interesting...lmao...man, i wonder what things are going to be like later...

babe is coming today!!! we're gonna go out to eat...he can't give me money though, cause he had to take tiko to the doc...the kids injured his leg, so they gave him some injection to numb the pain...poor pup he's so cute...

lmao...babe was telling me how peeps from his job were giving him a hard time...they were all antsy about v-day...and they couldn't get over the fact that i don't want anything...lmao...why is it so hard for people to accept that i, as the girlfriend, don't want anything for v-day?!?!?! lmao...i miss him...

i freaken love him lots!!!

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

wenros — 2007-02-16T04:02:23-05:00

all i've got to say is:

I'VE GOT BIG BOLAS!!! I AM THE BIGGER PERSON!!!

now i only hope that is actually goes well...i'm so effing nervous, why did i have to freaken say hello???

blah!!! fuck it...here we go...

funny...look it here...

wenros — 2007-02-17T04:02:42-05:00

i woke up and my computer managed to restart itself...so as i signed back into my messengers the freaken little "today" window opened...

and man, there are some pretty effing interesting things going on around this world...these are the pages that i found most interesting: *not in any particular order*

Year of the Pig is actually bad news

Infants memory turns to Infant Amnesia

Ron Jeremy *porn star old guy*

Man wins $25k TWICE

so yeah, that was my daily dose of interesting-ness for the start of my day...

:(

wenros — 2007-02-28T01:02:08-05:00

so my leg has been hurting since sunday...it was pretty fine...monday it sucked to walk, i started limping occasionally, then today it freaken hurt like hell...

so i made my doc appointment and it turns out i got a strain in my right knee and some slight fluid...so the doc has me on crutches for a week with some inflammatory pills...

this is the FIRST time i've ever had to use crutches, so i almost busted my ass coming out of the clinic...

it is freaken painful to put my foot on the floor at times, and other times i can limp with it...

to make matters worse, wednesday i have my merengue skills test!!! i'm so sad, cause i won't be able to perform!!! :( :( :( :( :(

aaron is taking good care of me...he carries me when i give up on the crutches and he's so freaken awesome to me...i heart him muchos!!!

self-explanator...

wenros — 2007-02-28T01:02:23-05:00

so yeah...me, my meds, my crutches...

things in the news...

wenros — 2007-03-02T03:03:25-05:00

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/metropolitan/4590998.html

http://www.khou.com/news/local/stories/khou070301_jj_schoolsafety.be10771.html

so yeah...things are going...

muahZ

i'm confused, but i know i am going to make the best/right decision...

i love mi amor!!! he's the bestest!!! miss him so freaken much...

another interesting thingamajiger

wenros — 2007-03-08T01:03:33-05:00

Wikipedia and it's credentials

Jessica Lunsford's killer finally convicted

Humble ISD FINALLY gets the kid who sent out the mass e-mail!!! lmao...

boo-hoo-hoo...b... blah blah...

wenros — 2007-03-08T02:03:26-05:00

this year has not been going so great for me...i'm not too sure if the good outweighs the bad or vice versa...

first i got the scare with my father...

for the first time i was put in crutches

i am getting the worst migraines/headaches

just found out my mother has thyroid cancer

i've come to realize that you don't need to speak to people so they can talk negative about you

realized i really don't need any close friends, the farther the better

love is an iffy thing, whether it's you or someone else

friendships are weird as fuck when you're in college

all guys want to do is get in your heart, it's so much easier when all they think about is sex...lmao...

i love my amor, but man he can be stupid at times

the ones you love and honestly love you back will be there through thick and thin

sophomore year is a good time to stop any/all illegal activities

i need a job, even though my man makes pretty good $$ for the both of us...lol...

so yeah, i'm pretty sure there is more to it, but fuck i feel like shit!!! i feel so horrible...i don't know what i'ma do...things are getting so complicated...oh and to top it off, tuition is going up!!! wtf am i to do???

this irks me...

wenros — 2007-03-09T01:03:33-05:00

the only thing i don't like about the internet, is the fact that it gives bad news...

Circumcision and HIV risk for women

i just pray that people find some relief someday...

Men and they're kind of love...

wenros — 2007-03-21T10:03:20-05:00

an interesting article on a guys perspective about guys and love...

so yeah, thus again something on the internet has made my day :) :) :)

and yet again...it keeps making my day...

wenros — 2007-03-22T04:03:43-05:00

Man and a Deer

Animal Conscience Woman

Panty Raid

Sick Parents

Internet Porn

irnoically funny???

wenros — 2007-03-23T08:03:10-05:00

i have a sick humor, it's only funny when no one laughs or understands as to what i am laughing at...

and yet again, the internet has made my day...

Couple's Baby Is Not Theirs???

so yeah...have a good one

no subject

wenros — 2007-03-26T11:03:06-05:00

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/special/penalty/813783.html

http://www.khou.com/news/local/stories/khou070326_ac_stalking.14c51ea.html

ha, another delight to my day...

ugh!!! dammit short tempers...

wenros — 2007-03-29T02:03:13-05:00

i hate this world, i can't wait to die and not see anyone anymore...no more faces to look at, no more voices to hear...this is my goodbye to everyone...enjoy life, because without me it's always better

ugh, i hate the world at the moment...everything it has to offer is just not for me...i shall wait and see...i guess...

letting myself get lost in this world...will be back when things are better...

lmao...

wenros — 2007-04-02T02:04:00-05:00

i totally love April 1st, cause it's usually old jokes and what-not...but i totally completely forgot it was April Fools Day!!! I dunno what happened...

and holy crap, i just remembered i have a frozen (i hope) chocolate bunny in my clean clothes hamper...time to freeze it...

have a test tomorrow, or later should i say...so i'ma sleep some so i can study some....so i can get some...

live is effing weird...

more internet...

wenros — 2007-04-10T12:04:09-05:00

Long Cab Ride

School Porn

Wrong Man Accused of Rape

And yet again, the internet has amused me with some interesting topics to read...thus making my day...

lol...who really gives a...

wenros — 2007-04-23T01:04:33-05:00

"Just Friends"

Romantic Attachment

Gifts and Meanings

what's with people and relationships these days??? wtf is so hard about finding a decent guy who doesn't give you shit, and doesn't give shit about the past, who just wants to make a better future, who will be there endlessly, but not obsessed or stalker-ish??? is that really too much to ask for??? it seems as if the guys who want to "talk" to me seem to either just want the bonus, or they love me too much, that it's just awkard at times...wtf??? blah blah blah blah blah that's what my heart is saying at the moment...

and girls, blah don't get me started on those...it's nice to have a girl that you can chill with, and no not sex or anything like that, but to be able to have that mutual "attachment" to her, and just be ok with it...

my birthday wk/wknd...

wenros — 2007-04-23T01:04:39-05:00

i'm so happy!!!

went home saturday and my daddy was bbq-ing for me!!! i helped my mommy cook... i feel like a kid when i'm around my parents...and it's not because they give me everything they can, it's because they love to hug, and hold me like when i was a baby...whenever i can catch my mommy off guard, i jump on her lap and she craddles me like when i was a baby and "rocks me to sleep"...it makes me feel all happy on the inside...

*my mother wasn't able to care for me the first months of my birth...there were some complications when she was pregnant with me, so when it was time to deliver, it was either her or me to live...so once i was born, they had to take her into surgery, and for the first few months my daddy took care of me...he hammered 2 nails into each wall across the bed, tied a towel in the middle, and would rock me to sleep...to make it worse, i refused to take the bottle, and since my mother couldn't breast feed me *was in the hospt. w/ meds* he said the only way i would drink milk was when it was soaked in a towel...later i grew into the bottle phase*

i also sit on my daddy's lap, and he rocks me...i love my daddy, he may not be the best father, but he's the best daddy...

not everyone could make it, but my family came to my party...i swear i was acting like a little kid with everyone around...oh and my brother got me a strawberry cake with whip-cream...i don't like icing...bleh!!!

a funny fact about my birth: i was almost born on the exit of the freeway, my father was driving, and he forgot the exit, so he had to go to the 2nd one, and i was on my way out, but my mother refused to give birth to her last child/daughter in the backseat of a station wagon, so even though i wanted out, she held me in!!! lol...

yay!!! only a few more hours til my grand entrance into this world!!! 7 am here i come!!!

i love my daddy!!! and mother as well!!!

*sigh*

wenros — 2007-04-29T03:04:34-05:00

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/metropolitan/4758073.html

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070429/ap_on_re_la_am_ca/mexico_mass_quinceanera

awww...*tear*

blah blah blah

wenros — 2007-04-29T05:04:00-05:00

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/metropolitan/4756993.html

http://www.khou.com/news/local/stories/khou070429_tnt_charterschools.1dc6fd6c.html

http://www.khou.com/news/local/stories/khou070429_tnt_immigrationrucks.1e18fbb5.html

ay amor...

wenros — 2007-08-20T05:08:55-05:00

babe just got home at 3, and i knew he was drunk. he starts imming me, and i had to decode his drunken words. then he starts asking me about having sex with other guys, and that's when i caught on that sebio told him something. sure enough, sebio told him about the booty call incident. babe was all sad, confused and hurt. so i called him and we had a drunken conversation for about an hour or so. even though sebio told him, it won't change a thing between sebio and i, cause we have dirt on each other that NO ONE knows about, and we have a good solid relationship, besides their best friends, so i really can't complain.

it's so hard to try to move on, but if it happens it happens. babe really isn't too keen on the moving on idea, but we know it's for the best at the moment. neither of us wants to see the other with another, but what can you do?!?!?! life is hilarous at times.

i love mi amor, he's so awesome!!! too bad eventually he'll be another biatches man, and i will only be a scar in his heart, but life goes on, and so will i...

i'm really hoping this year brings good things into my life, i might actually put some effort this time around...

awkward dream....

wenros — 2007-08-30T08:08:22-05:00

so i had this awkward dream about a day or 2 ago...i really don't remember all of it, but i'm confused on the part i do remember...

so i was back at home (parents house) and in the middle of the hallway there was a cat, as i walked up to it, i realized it was having babies...it had about 2 or 3, not quite sure. i don't exactly remember what color it was, but the dream was in color...anywho, i helped the cat deliver the kittens.

i'm really not a cat person, i prefer puppies...but if the cat is lazy then i'll play with it, Puto *our cat* only likes to be in my presence when i am either bumming in my room, or when i'm about to go to sleep...he likes to sleep in between my legs, and hates it if i move...then in the middle of the night he enjoys gnawing on my leg or foot, whichever he's close to...he's a lazy cat, so he enjoys lazy people, he's not too social...

so yeah, if anyone can try to decode that part of my dream that would be pretty sweet, and i'd be quite grateful...

aklsjdflkjsldfk...

wenros — 2007-09-14T03:09:18-05:00

independence is the key...once ur on your own, nothing is as awesome...

life...

wenros — 2007-09-22T01:09:27-05:00

taking it one day at a time seems so hard, everyone wants to try to predict their outcomes... i think i'm starting to grow out of a certain phase in life, wanting to be loved. i have everything i need, i'm just spoiled... i am so lucky to have a really great ex-boyfriend, still working on some issues of course.

on another note, my job is going good, from here to the end of november, all my checks are MINE!!! i have no payments. I don't want to become an adult yet, i am sooooo not ready for those freaken payments. I'll have my man do that for me :)

i'm so freaken happy on the inside, and only i know why!!! yay!!! a sense of warmth has overcome me since about last week, and it feels too good to be true...i told the ex, and he's happy too!!! yay us!!! we're awesome, i wonder if we'll ever look back and say "what the fuck were we thinking???" but for now all is good, i just wish it could be like this more often. o well that's what life is for, to live and learn and repeat.

i love my babe!!! he's awesome...it's just sad that he's so far away...but some day, i'll have him by my side!!!

Good 'ole Huntsville, Texas...

wenros — 2007-09-24T06:09:22-05:00

So if anyone has watched the news this morning, you may have heard that 2 inmates escaped from one of the units here in Huntsville. The only reason I heard was because someone stood up in the computer lab and said "Hey guys, be careful going home, there are 2 escaped inmates & they have some streets blocked off." I sat in my seat and laughed. Everyone was at this point getting some type of text message, sending one, or getting a phone call from a friend at wal-mart, because that's where all the action was. This kind of thing didn't really shock anyone, we live in HUNTSVILLE TEXAS!!! There are like 8 units around us, Walls Unit *where you get the lethal injection* is A BLOCK from our school. Everyone went about their normal business, which caused me to laugh even harder. All I could think about was someone taking a picture of the inmate running around and putting it up on FACEBOOK!!! That would have made my day!!! Last year we had a chase going on through our school, so some of the resident halls were on lock down, cause the guy was running around with a gun. And yet, none of this seems to surprise me.

Toots and I were sitting by his class making up shit about the incident:
*There are more escaping?
*He's running around naked in Wal-mart?

These are the only e-mails we received about the incident:

Subject: Escape Inmates 09/24/2007

Date: Mon, September 24, 2007 12:16 pm

Local law enforcement is currently pursuing two escaped inmates from TDCJ. Road blocks are currently set-up on the west side of I-45 near Wal-Mart, the Ella Smither overpass, and the surrounding wooded areas. There is no evidence to substantiate that the escapees are near campus. However, we request that you proceed with caution, and avoid the areas where the manhunt is being conducted.

Chief Dennis A. Culak Director University Police Department

Subject: Escape Inmates 09/24/2007

Date: Mon, September 24, 2007 2:37 pm

As of 2:00 PM, today, both escapees from the Texas Department of Criminal Justice have been apprehended. Traffic on the west side of Huntsville should be resuming to normal activity shortly.

Chief Dennis A. Culak Director University Police Department

Have a great day everyone, I know mine was a blast.

lmao...

wenros — 2007-09-26T03:09:51-05:00

so i call amor, and he's on his way to have lunch with the guys. somehow we end up talking about where we wanna get married, how long it should last, rsvp vs. open invite, menu for reception and so forth...lmao!!!

just the other day we were talking about moving on, going our separate ways. lmao...so i guess we're stuck, this is it. might as well be nice to each other, seeing as we're prolly gonna end up together...

on another note, today is toots b-day!!! yay!!!

hahahahahahaha.

wenros — 2007-09-29T04:09:29-05:00

so there was a drive-in movie today, so a few of us went to enjoy. we were chillin there sippin on some champagne and wine, pretty sweet time...afterwards we headed to the stardust room, a local bar thing. we had a few pitchers, and some how i managed to not even get a buzz!!! awesome-ness... so i was walking up to the bar and this guy comes up to me

guy: (as he grabs my arm) Hey, didn't I have you in a class before
me: ummm, i'm not sure, when?
guy: a while back, my name is matt
me: i'm sorry, i don't remember you, i do have a familiar face though
guy: i'm pretty sure you were my student, can you picture me without the hair???
me: matt davis???
guy: yeah, vanessa right???
me: yeah, wow, i didn't recognize you
guy: it's ok, how have you been...

blah blah blah blah blah, then he proceeds to tell me that i was his favorite/best student of the class. I got an A, so that was sweet, i knew there was a catch. we talk about life, school, family, small talk...he was like "do you come here often, because i haven't seen you around" we ended it off with him saying "you should come around more often, it was really good seeing you."

the funny thing is that i had him 2 freaken years ago!!! I haven't spoken to him or ran into him since that last day of class, and I didn't even have to take his final, cause i got an A on EVERY SINGLE paper i turned in. I also turned in all my papers the week of thanksgiving, yup all at once, and i still managed to get an A.

So yeah, that was my night. freaken toots irritated the hell out of me, i clearly invited him to watch the movie with us, and then he doesn't answer his phone and pretends that i never did. but i'm not kissing his ass anymore, so fuck it.

this effing guy kept trying to grab on me, which was very rude. he's such a prick. i hate arrogant guys who think that every girl they talk to is gonna sleep with them. only cause i let you lite my cig doesn't mean i'ma sleep with you....

babe and i kept texting for a while, i miss him sooo much!!! oh how i wish i had saturday off, so i could be at his place instead!!!

lmao!!!

wenros — 2007-10-08T12:10:51-05:00

so if i call you, you laugh at me, i hang up...that makes me in the wrong???

but if you call, i don't answer...that makes me in the wrong???

how does any of this make sense?!?!?!?

yay me...

wenros — 2007-10-19T07:10:46-05:00

it's my anniversary...well it would be...lol...either way, i'm happy!!! I get to go home next weekend and have dinner with amor...yay!!!

damn this craziness sickness...

wenros — 2007-11-05T02:11:42-05:00

so i've been sick since like the end of august/begin of september... i went to the doc back in october 1st. he said i wasn't contagious, something had irritated my nose & that's why i was all congested & crap... he gives me some pills, which worked awesome...3 days later *after the pills were done* i'm back to the same shit...i've been meaning to go to the doc, but i've been ubberly busy with school & work... i've just realized that the blisters i get in my mouth were fever blisters. i'm such a dumby when it comes to common sense, i just don't have it at times... so i finally bought a thermometer and i have a 99.2, which isn't that bad, but that means this whole time, i've had random fevers of higher than this, which was the reason for the headaches...

i'm finally making time to go to the doc tomorrow...it just sucks that i've been sick for 2 FULL months... now i'm starting to get this really dry cough, so when i cough too many times a few things happen: either my voice goes away, my throat gets hot, or i throw up stomach acid from it being such a deep cough...i don't have any phlegm, which is awesome, but i just hate coughing for no reason...

i'm starting to think something is in my room, or in my apt in general, cause i'm usually not sick around campus...i'm not sick when i go home either, or if i'm gone from my room for a while, i'm not sick...

i really hope that i don't have allergies, that would suck horribly...

so now i'm sad...cause i have to go to the doc... :( :( :(

so yeah...

wenros — 2007-11-28T09:11:44-05:00

so here at school they like to be healthy... they have healthy programs and they emphasis healthy things...

so there is this 6 weeks turkey burn thing where you track your calories and exercise...so i'm doing it. i have no self-control, so i decided to do this cause...well they have prizes!!! lol... i'm eating healthy and playing tennis about 3 times a week and jogging/running 2wice a week...that's as good as it gets, but hey, at least i'm doing something right???

i've written down my weight at the beginning of the week, and hoping after all this is done i'll drop 20 lbs... anything more than 5 is good...

i tend to naturally lose weight during the winter holidays, so i hope this goes well...

traditions and the awesome-ness of my daddy :D

wenros — 2007-12-12T02:12:50-05:00

so i had to go home this weekend, not my choice but cause of this stupid knee... i ended up going to the er thursday night and went home friday morning... missed 2 house parties :(

so my parents are chilln at the kitchen table and we're talking about life and what not. my mother wants me to go to grad school, and i'd rather not, we're talking about all these girls getting pregnant and abstinence and all that other mumbojumbo stuff...

my momma starts talking about the old back in the day traditions of respect. how the godparents were one of the most sacred set of parents you'll ever have. then they showed me the cool handshake the godparents and parents did to say hi to each other...my momma was also saying how godparents are going to be the people you see in heaven and that's why many people chose family, cause in heaven you really don't recognize anyone, only them and i forgot who else...

they talked about other things as well, but i've forgotten already...

my daddy is so awesome and it sucks that he may not be around to see my kids. if my kids know anything about him, i want them to know that even though we never had money to buy things, my daddy would do his darnest to buy it or build it... ok, so we did have money, we had a bit, but it wasn't a constant flow...lol...

i would've loved to have been able to take pix of our house when my mom first bought it to how it's grown.

my house was built in like 1912 or some thing like that. when my mother bought it, it was in really horrible condition, wholes in the floor, needles scattered on the floor, over grown shrubs and anything else you could imagine. my mother knew if she didn't buy it, she would be stuck in 5th ward forever. my mother along with my daddy and uncles went to work. the house started off with an open porch, a decent backyard and 4 small bedrooms *10 by15* and i think my room was initially the master it's about 15 by 15, i suck at measurements. with only one restroom!!! we have 12 foot ceilings, so that's pretty cool...

after years of hard work, carpet being stripped, walls being torn down, walls being painted, roofs falling in and numerous city citations, we are finally at the the beginning of my mothers dream. i love my room, and the fact that only i & occasionally my niece gianna, live in it is awesome. i come from a family of 6 girls and 4 boys, my parents had one bedroom, the smallest in the house. the girls and baby *dog* stayed in the next room, and the boys shared the 3rd room and living room. the 4th bedroom was opened as an extension to the kitchen...we couldn't have a small kitchen with such a big family...that would've been horrible...

eventually my sisters started getting married and finally in 2001 or so we received the best x-mas present ever. channel 48 *now 47* gave us a blue print and permit to add another room!!! my neighbor was a city of houston employee and never let us do anything to our house, if she saw us wanting to paint it, she would call the city on us...thus the reason for so many citations...

the back room was built which now occupies 2 queen size beds, a walk in closet and it's private restroom and a couch or 2. it was initially for my sister and i, but she got pregnant and got married.

my parents are almost done with my mothers room expansion, she now has a walk in closet and about 50 extra square feet. all these years my mother had to squeeze a bed and some dressers in her room, the sacrifice of a mother for her kids to stretch their toes...

my eldest nephew resides in the room which used to be the girls, my daddy shifted the direction of the closet, but that's all. eventually my mother wants to convert that room to the baby room, she baby sits all my nieces and nephews.
my room hasn't changed much, my daddy shifted my closet and extended it to the ceiling *i have a lot of crap*, he built me a stand for my tv, radio and dvd player. and converted a closed window into a bookshelf :) it was one of the best welcome home gifts.

our kitchen is the main project and they're aiming for x-mas to have it done!!!

since our house was paid in cash, i hope to either inherit it, cause i am the baby after all. or for my parents to leave it so all my nieces and nephews can share it. it would be awesome to see my gianna come home from school and have a place to call her own, or the sepulvedas to runaway from home and come to their sanctuary...

the only thing that sucks of all this is that i'm the only girl left to have kids in my family :(, darn this pressure to marry a good man and have plenty of kids...

i love my daddy so much and everything he has done to better our living and provide the best he can, even though he was such a prick to all my other siblings and my mom in the past. i guess it has it's perks to be the baby girl of the family :D

another year...

wenros — 2008-01-23T11:01:36-05:00

Working at Champions was pretty cool...Everyone is so freaken nice!!!

School started last week, i came up to get some stuff then headed down to mexico for the weekend...

My cousin got married, so that was a good time... I was quite proud of myself, cause I wore a pink dress with some black accessories. It always amuses me how every time I go to mexico, the guys just go "ga-ga" when they see me. i'm not the bomb-diggity, but their mentality is quite funny. I.e. I danced with a guy at a XV, and within the next week, he was calling my mom to ask permission to date me!!! And all i did was dance ONE SONG with him!!! The guys think that once a girl says hi to you, she wants you. Another friend ran away with her boyfriend, and they live 7 feet away from each other... That's another thing I don't understand. These girls run away, just cause they wanna have sex!!! Our town is so little, so everyone knows each others business. Well once they run away, the guys just have all the sex with them, and if the girls suck at it, they tell them they don't want them and for the girls to go back home. Most of the time, the girls aren't really taken back by their families, so the guys have to put up with them. The guys eventually cross the border, and find some sluts over here, while they leave the girl in mexico.

So i have this cousin, she's really pretty. She got the whole porcelain skin, small waist line, and she graduated from high school (which is big in my town). While in high school, she got with her professor, who is also an attorney, and they got engaged. She was strict up the ass with him, he had to quit teaching in my town, cause she didn't want any of her classmates flirting with him. Her wedding date was scheduled for Last October! Turns out, the guy had her an apt in the city, fully furnished, just waiting to be moved in. Well this dumb broad went with her sisters & aunts and CLEANED OUT THE WHOLE APT!!! Then my aunt went to the chapel and told everyone that my cousin was not going to marry him! So now my cousin lost her job, she was his secretary, and is he SUING HER!!! This is big news, so she made it into the newspaper!!! She sold some of the stuff, and pocketed the money. And now she has another boyfriend!!! Ever since my 2 cousins were murdered, her brothers, their family has been mentally unstable. Now they are convinced that my mothers sister killed one of them, by HAND!!!

My daddy and Tata were fixing my sisters brakes, and they needed some stuff. The brake fluid was behind a gated shack, so i jumped the fence and bruised my leg!!! It doesn't hurt, but it does look ugly!!! I have 2 black bruises the size of half dollars on the outside of my knee.

I'm hoping to have many adventures this year, in school and in life... I have a year and a half left til I graduate. I gotta start looking into Grad schools. Blah, when is it all going to end???

i hate being sick...

wenros — 2008-01-29T12:01:21-05:00

I'm not too fond of being sick, not cause it drags me down, but cause it alters my dreams...

i get a sinus infection at least 2wice a year, if not more. last year it was for about 4 months !!!

so last night i had a horrible dream...

somehow myself, mother, dad & some people were outside of a building. as we were approaching the bldg my mother says "let's see if you're going to get a dead one or a live one" she didn't explain further, just left it at that... there were the usual cement beds of flowers. my niece gianna was sitting on my lap when some stupid guy starts to throw up right behind us. i told him to do that crap somewhere else, cause there were kids around and he pretended to throw up on my niece. i pushed him, and he pulled out a butter knife. a few minutes pass and i end up telling him something about his girlfriend being pregnant. well this upset him, cause the bldg was a psychiatric one and he hadn't seen his girl in some time. in other words, she was preggo by some other man...oops, i said... the guy starts to climb the scaffolds outside the building and everyone is just watching him. i pushed the alarm button in the elevator and yet no one was coming to the rescue. my parents and i walk under the columns to get back outside of the building. the guy looks down at me and lets himself fall to the pavement. as his body is falling, i put my hand up to not see him commit suicide, and move a few steps to my left. his head shatters and my dad goes up to him and washes his hands in the blood. my mother turns to me and says "well, there goes your dead body"... i called 911, the operator says hello and ignores the fact that i'm on the phone... once i get her attention, i tell her someone just committed suicide at so-and-so location. she answers with "we just had an incident there, the fire trucks are on their way..." i look up and i can see them exiting the freeway...

it was hard to wake up from that dream...i woke up sad, if it wasn't for me telling the guy about his preggo girl, he wouldn't have killed himself...

Hello 4th Generation!!!

wenros — 2008-02-04T03:02:19-05:00

Yesterday was my niece's baby shower. As everyone was arriving, she jumped out of the chair, running screaming "ew ew, my water broke!!!" it was the funniest thing ever. She took a warm bath, then headed for the hospital. She's wasn't due til the 26th of this month & since it's her first, she wasn't really prepared for it so quickly. My sisters and I packed her luggage, got her all the important paper work & cheered her out of the door. We stayed at the baby shower, which still took place. We ate food, cut the cake then opened the presents. My sister *her mother* opened all the gifts for her, then we put away all the gifts in the baby room. My nephew-in-law had just finished painting the walls & was starting on painting her name on the wall. We organized her furniture and the baby's restroom. Every few hours they were calling us and updating us about her progress. She then picture messages us all around 10.30 with Neelah's picture. As of yester-night, the 4th generation has started. There won't be any kids for a couple of years *i'm the only girl left to have kids of the 6 sisters*, so she's gonna be spoiled for a few years too many...

forgiving the past?

wenros — 2008-02-10T01:02:59-05:00

i think i might've gotten closure from this whole betrayal thing... not quite sure though...

i've learned to forgive you, but i still have so many unanswered questions. you say it's in the past, but even though the years have past, i can tell you're still hurt by it as well. however, we were hurt differently. you lost a person you loved, fully, and i lost a part of you... i doubt i'll ever really understand where this whole thing went wrong, but there's not much i can do. i want to believe that i honestly love you with all my heart, but a huge part of me really doesn't believe that. so are we even? naw, i doubt it... just looking at her brings so much anger, disgust... i've stopped crying over it, because i've grown and i'm starting to believe that it REALLY wasn't me... I admit when i go wrong, most of the time, but i really didn't do anything this time... loving you was the best thing that i've ever been through, but being with you makes me indifferent. now that we've welcomed this new chapter, i'm starting to feel like i don't want it. common? i think so... let's see, what's the best way to put this? hmmm... I want you here, i want you now, but i wouldn't mind if we go separate ways later on. now that the blindfold is off, i can really see a lot of the shit i conformed to. I don't want this anymore, we're different people, different lives, and to really make it work, i don't know if we can do that... i just wish i had the courage to be on my own, i want it, but i'm so afraid... am i with you because i don't want to be alone??? i'm with you because i've gotten used to you??? u say you're trying, but how many steps have you actually taken forward??? you're not holding me back, but you're not making it better either...

i love you, but to what extent? is this what he was talking about when he warned me about us???

doubt lingers in my heart, how do i make it all go away???

YUMMY!!!

wenros — 2008-02-13T03:02:32-05:00

went to ihop for the free pancake day thing & it was like any other day (except for the free part).

my tummy was happy, and my wallet was as well :)

a few co workers went, seeing as how we don't have jobs for about 2 weeks or so. our checks are gonna suck balls :( it's cool cause i don't have any bills this month or any time soon :)

yet another valentine's day...

wenros — 2008-02-14T12:02:55-05:00

it doesn't ever stop to amuse me how insignificant v-day is to me and yet soo important to others...

i remember in the earlier years in high school where it was more of a competition for affection than anything... one girl would brag about her bundle of flowers, while the other wowed everyone by her teddy bear or something along the sorts... thus the reason babe and i don't celebrate valentine's day.

i do remember however getting sent to the office and picking up a card, it was the most simple card in the world and it brought smiles to my face :) it was from a "secret admirer"... when i got home there was a brown monkey sitting on my bed. Apparently babe had gotten my brother to drop off the car and place the monkey before I got to school.

so yeah, not sure when we decided it, but i think it was when we came to realize that we were gonna be together for a long time, so we decided screw valentine's. his co-workers always ask what, if anything, he got me and he has to tell them every year that we don't celebrate. and guess what??? they think i'm awesome cause of it...

i have this freaken slight case of insomnia & it's so not cool. i go to sleep around 3-5 and wake up at 8.30 or 9.30, depending on the day. I sometimes get tired in the day, but once i eat, i'm good. at night i just can't get myself to sleep, dunno what the hell it is, but sleep just doesn't come easy.

yay! i might go to the observatory today :) our labby is kinda cute, and i'm debating on making him some cookies, he said he wouldn't mind if someone brought him some...

future parenting skills???

wenros — 2008-03-03T10:03:23-05:00

i really want a big nice sized yard when i get a house of my own. I just loved how everytime we went to mexico, we had plenty of terrain to roam in. i would love for my kids to have the same feelings. i was watching the lifetime channel and it was the movie with the guy from big trouble little china and goldie hawn (?) and they kids had a little backyard storage/clubhouse thingy... i called babe all excited and told him it would be cool for our kids to have a place like that where they could smoke pot, get drunk or whatever they want to do... babe says by the time we have kids, there are going to be cooler 'future-istic drugs'...lmao...

i've come to the conclusion that i don't want to be my kids best friend, i want to be their mother, babe on the other hand, wants to be the "cool" parent... lmao...i can just imagine our daughter coming up to him talking about sex or whatever and he won't know how to handle it... lmao...

blah, i dunno i guess being raised in a good american education has opened my eyes where as my parents mexican, sheltered education has hindered them.

i'm afraid of having kids who don't want to speak spanish and who don't know the value of a freaken dollar. i guess that's the good thing about being poor, we know the value of a dollar and we appreciate things in life...

:( i'm sad, i miss my daddy :( i can't wait to go home...

blah blah blah...

wenros — 2008-03-18T12:03:37-05:00

i suck at self-discipline... did i even spell that right??? w/e...

i have 3 exams this week and a 3pg paper due tomorrow evening that i haven't even started to work on...

on another note, i'm really happy cause babe found a "potential house". it's a cute 3 bed 2 bath with a small backyard, the only downfall... i want a big yard :( but it's cool. i dunno, i hope he gets what he wants since it is his house after all... he's going with the Realtor on wednesday to check out the house and i'm going this saturday...

i can't wait to get my own house :D i don't want 2-3 kids, i want a few more and i think a 3 bedroom will do until we start expanding... a 3 bedroom will only do for one kid and that's not going to happen...

i think we're going to be fine...

weekend galore...

wenros — 2008-03-24T11:03:02-05:00

this has to be the most interesting weekend, not once did i think about school, exams, papers and what-not...

my daddy came for me thursday evening and gianna tagged along... that little runt is adorable, we played mario on the way back, & she was better at it...

friday morning i helped my mother make some good friday food : lentejas, capirotada, nopales con camaron and tortas de camaron!!! yummy!!! not everyone could come over for the noon meal, but they came after work...

my flaca came over and brought neelah, it was my parents first time seeing their great grandchild in person!!! she is so freaken adorable... i went home with flaca and called babe to come over... he brought the dogs and hooch was trying to hump bruce!!! it was the cutest thing cause bruce just laid there, he's too lazy to get him off or anything...

we all went to dave & busters and i was almost winning the bowling match, but for some reason all my balls went to the gutter :( babe and i spent the night at flacas...

saturday morning we went back to his place and drove around looking at houses. omg!!! there were some really nice houses, but once we got there they looked like crap!!! the one that had the jacuzzi was the worst of them all, but the inside of the house was just redone...

we all went to a wedding down in Rosenberg, and it felt so different doing my own make up and all that good stuff. ever since i could remember flaca was the one to dress me and do me up, but i gotta learn how to do it on my own... omg the freaken drive was sooo long!!! it was about an hour and something away!!! we got home around 1 and we were effing tired so we all passed out...

easter was a sad day for me :( i am so used to spending the whole day with the fam, so it sucked... but i guess it's just a part of growing up and living our own lives... we went with the realtor to look at a few more houses, one of the houses was broken into, but it was nice and had an awesome backyard :( our current favorite house is the one with a private pool, the interior of the house was recently redone, so that's cool... everyhouse we went into, the realtor would mention "the baby's room" lmao!!! poor babe...

i finally got home around 5 and my dad was just chilling..i get so emotional when my dad is having a bad day... so yeah we bbq'd for a bit and talked about the houses... my parents are almost done with the kitchen... my daddy has done the arches, so all he has to do is some sheet rock spots and give it a good caulking...

my daddy is awesome!!! babe is coming for me this weekend, cause we got tickets to the O'reily spring nationals...

ugh!!! family, school, life....

wenros — 2008-04-10T03:04:41-05:00

so my big 21 is coming up!!! soo looking forward to it!!! the only thing that sucks is that due to the lack of events at work, my next 2 paychecks are going to be horrible... getting $50 for this check would be awesome!!! i can't wait for the fall semester, i sure do miss those 3-400 paychecks!!!

i hope i get to start working over the summer as soon as finals are done. I really hope to save some summer cash and buy me a laptop, i could really use it in class. I don't care for one outside of class, cause i have an awesome desktop, but man taking notes in class sure does take a toll on my wrist.

I'm debating on getting a second job in the fall, i just don't know what to do with all my free time... maybe i can work at the bakery & help with decorating the cakes and such... i dunno... hmmm, maybe i can join some organization, and dedicate my time to it?

blah...

the family problems have gotten worse... it just sucks that you gotta get slapped in the face for you to realize what you've done....

i miss mi amor, i won't see him for 2 weeks and we got so used to being with each other every weekend... we're such punks!!!

yucky!!!

wenros — 2008-04-22T03:04:52-05:00

SO...

i threw up again at work 2wice in the ballroom as we were cleaning and 2wice in the restroom... what a way to end the day huh? I really don't appreciate these random throw-up spells...

I dunno what to do about this stupid thing... i'm starting to think it's something at work that makes me puke, cause ever since i started working there, i've been throwing up...

at first i threw up for about a week straight, and now it's just sporadic...

it is quite obvious i'm not pregnant, so that's not even something to think about... the doc gave me some pills last month or so, and that worked great...

i got more doc appointments to look forward to, 2 in the first week of june and one next month... i don't like going to the doc, it just brings back bad memories of getting stabbed with a needle countless of times :(

the good thing is that babe is so understanding :) He showed up to my apt saturday night when i got off work... apparently he had gotten here around 1, but i didn't make it home til about 1.30... getting a knock at the door at 1.30 Am is not pleasant, but I saw the puppies through the view-hole thing so it was a relief...

we're such punks!!! i'm so glad to have him... not that many guys will go 2 hours of their way, just to be with their gal for a few hours... i hadn't seen him for 2 weeks or so, and we're such weiners!!!

he's such a dork, cause hopefully i'll be going home this weekend :) so i'll see him then lol...

It's my birthday!!! mi dia de nacimiento!!!

wenros — 2008-04-24T01:04:31-05:00

My dear dear mother woke me up at 7.30 in the mañana to play me the mañanitas... then she was crying for a few minutes telling me that she wishes me the best in life and in love and that she's so happy that i've found someone that respects me and loves me dearly... the last time my mother was telling me something of this sort, was a few years ago when she was having severe medical issues...

then my gianna called me, oh how i miss her so much!!! I got a surprising e-mail from one of my sisters, she hasn't spoken to me since January of this year, and she refuses to speak to me when we see each other... it was pretty heart-warming, so yeah...

my daddy hasn't called me, so i'm a tad bit sad. but i go home tomorrow, so i'll see him then... aww i can't wait to see my daddy :D!!!! i love my daddy soooooooo much...

yay, it's my 21st b-day!!! now, where's the first place to get my free shots???

school!!!

wenros — 2008-05-01T03:05:06-05:00

holy crap, i was not too aware that there were only 2 weeks left of school after this one... and the last one is finals!!! bleh, i have one final per day... so yeah, i gotta move out of my apt by 11 on the 16th cause that's my checkout time... i renewed my room for the next school year, but as a last resort. i really do hope i get that apartment scholarship so i won't have to live here anymore... if not, then i'll be stuck here...

on another note: i haven't showered today... and it feels awesome to just be in a sweater, lounging around my place...

well i'm off to fail another class...

so long spring 08

wenros — 2008-05-08T01:05:41-05:00

another semester has gone, leaving me still confused...

blah, i think life has taken a toll on deja vu... the same shit is starting to happen all over again, but at least this time i was prepared to handle myself. even though it is so wrong, i was able to handle myself and not give in. i'm some what eh about it, but it's all for the best. the other party understands, which makes it so much awesome!!! i have made some huge boo-boos in the past, but i've learned from them, and i'm glad they have made me stronger. i am grateful for everyone who is in my life, but i am saddened by those who are not. everything happens for a reason in the end, and maybe it's just not meant to be right now. friendships are supposed to have their ups and downs, but if in the end it was always a down, then it was not much of a friendship was it?

i'm so excited! i signed the lease for my apartment earlier this week. i'm rooming with a co-worker, which i'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing. we each have our separate lives outside of work and our friendship, so as long as we do not smother each other, i think we will be fine. jill is my best friend, she laughs at my jokes, even when they are not funny, and i like that. lol... she's excited as well, and i think more than i am. she is awesome, and sometimes funny. on the plus side, she enjoys cooking, and i enjoy eating, so it's awesome. i'm leaving my stuff in her room over the summer, because i will not move in until the week of fall semester.

watch out world, i'm starting to spread my wings...

i love my boyfriend, i miss him, i'm such a punk!!! long distance relationships suck!!! not to jinks ourselves, but we have not argued about anything serious since about 4 months or so... wow, i can get use to this :D

what a horrendous summer...

wenros — 2008-08-28T01:08:01-05:00

when I left school for the summer, i knew it would take a while to get a job, so it didn't worry me... for some reason if you don't know someone who is hiring, such as a friend or family, it is really hard to get a simple summer job... that's the only down fall of being a college student...

there was sooo much family drama this summer, i honestly cried more than i ever have... my father still hasn't worked since last year, so yeah, that made it a tad bit harder...

and to make matters worse, juanito got into a big mess... i was at work when all the phone calls and texts started overflowing my phone... i cried horribly at first, but i knew at some point it was going to happen. the thing that set this apart was that we all knew he couldn't just post bail then go to court... he's been in there for 3 months and starting up his 4th... i couldn't bare to see him, knowing there was nothing i could do tore me apart. i didn't cry when i first saw him, til i actually had to speak through the stupid plastic thing... it sucks that it's tearing my family apart, but it's funny how everyone is still there... his lawyer keeps resetting his date, because it's honestly for the better, luckily they do a 2 for 1, so it's looking good for him... he was working for a while, but then he got really sick, so they put back in his original cell and now he's on meds and a strict diet... my poor brother, only he knows his pain... he writes to us just about every week to keep my mom from going insane...

karma is such a funny thing... when my father was in jail for 3 years, my mom went to see him and she was pregnant with my brother... it's just so interesting that now my brother is the one in jail, but he won't get 3 years, not even 10... his lawyer is trying to drop it to at least 25... my brother isn't talking, which is a great thing, but that's the way the lifestyle is... you can't say anything, cause god only knows what will happen if they found out you did...

my daddy was put on insulin for a while, but he protested that he wouldn't inject himself... i'm such a daddy's girl, so it's just so sad that my daddy, the man who was bringing in about $30k a week can't even be on his own for too long... i'm so afraid my father is going to leave at some random time... i've randomly started crying at the simple thought that he won't be here to see me walk down the isle or hold my children... blah, i'm about to start crying already...lol....

i'm so freaken spoiled, it's not even funny... my parents and family are to blame for me being brought up this way, but babe is to blame for keeping it up... he's such a loser... and i'm such a loser for letting him spoil me even more... oh my, i love that man so much, it's not even funny anymore... i pray we make it to have at least 2 kids, by then we'll be old and i won't care too much about certain things... he has this way of making me feel so special and all he does is just hold me!!! we're such punks with one another, but that's what makes us us... lmao!!! he came up here a few days ago, cuz i didn't see him for about 3 days!!! so we went out to eat and we started playing Paper/Rock/Scissors to determine who will pay... lmao, the wait staff was all like "that's soo cute"... i love him!!! that guy would spend his last thousand dollars on me, just because i said "i really like it and want it." he gets spoiled equally, so it's cool... he has taught me a whole different way of living, and i'll make sure to include that in our divorce... lol!!!

i'm so glad to have babe in my life, it's situations like this summer that i'm so grateful for the friendship we have and it keeps me falling back in love with him...

babe is my only escape from the drama my family provides, and he knows he means soo much to me...

too much random crap....

wenros — 2008-11-05T01:11:55-05:00

The semester is almost over...

my brother has not been transferred cause some guy got a cell phone and was threatening the Governor, of Texas I presume... so it's just up in the air when he'll be leaving... this is so lame!!! a part of me wants him close to me, so I can go visit him more often, but that means my moms won't be able to see him...

speaking of, my parents are in mexico!!! yay!!! oh how i miss that place soooo much!!! i can't wait to go back and just enjoy a nice, relaxing, solitude of a vacation... i hope the guy i marry enjoys an 18 hour drive, cause whenever we get the chance, that's where we'll be... i would LOVE for my kids to be able to visit my childhood/life....

i miss my grandparents, my roommates grandparents are still alive, and it makes me mad... lol, kinda lame huh??? it just sux that she's able to talk to them and such... my grandparents were awesome!!! every now and then i talk to my gma, but it's not the same...

on another note: i had a horrible break down last week... OMG!!! the pain that was running through me was just tooo much to handle...i was talking to babe and i just started crying horriblly bad, he has this way of just getting the best of me, even if he only asks 'what's wrong'... but i love him sooo much....

jill came in to get some crayons and such and saw me in tears in the corner of my room... she walks out and comes back in with a Kalulah White Russian, which was pretty good... she just hugged me & i let it all out... it was cute, cause after such things were said she started crying!!! lol!!! she and i have so much drama in our lives, i'm very grateful to have her... she's there for me and i for her...

i thought i knew where i was going after this, but it's all a blur now... i'm such a dissappointment to people & it's quite sad... you'd think they'd be proud of me, but nope, not really... it sucks balls having such high standards already set for you...

i love my daddy!!! eventhough i only see him on weekends, i'm sad he's not here... i'm praying for him to come back safely... i pray for the strength if anything was to happen to him...

LMAO!!!

wenros — 2008-11-19T12:11:23-05:00

so as jill and i are having our usual nightly activities...then comes on one of the Red Bull commercials and i blurted out:

i'm afraid of dying cause what if Jesus says I was too mean???

what if he says my jokes weren't funny???

LMAO!!! jill sat there for a second wondering whether to even respond to that... she's learned that i mean no harm, i tend to just say things without even remotely thinking about them...

wow, how it's flown... time that is...

wenros — 2009-04-02T12:04:34-05:00

dear mother of god!!! how so many things have happened in my life and i've been able to stay sane in the process...

family:

john john is home, which is awesome!!! the family is kinda torn as to how long this phase is going to last. i just really hope that deep down inside he's gotten the point as to what life is supposed to be like and how he should not do certain actions to keep that life.

drama drama drama!!! man, if my family got paid for every time we had drama, i wouldn't need grants for school, i'd pay for it myself!!!

i baptized my Neelah Briseis & she looked adorable and had a great time!!! i love that little girl, i guess cause i felt my niece was pregnant and watched her belly grow and was there for a lot of the stuff... so yeah, i really hope i can be there for her when all else fails... she's always welcome to sleep on my couch, or the spare bedroom :D

school:

another semester is coming to it's end... and though i've enjoyed it extremely, it's a reminder of how my priorities were not at it's best...

if all goes well and Jesus does not have another plan for me, then i'll be here working in Huntsville for a bit, or down at the at the accounting office making some $$$$$$$$ until grad school...

life:

drama drama drama!!! just when you think it's about to get stable, another curveball gets thrown at me

i've re-newed my lease for a 1 bdrm 1 bath, hopefully in the same bldg to be close to my BFF JILL!!! i love my jill!!! and i'm so excited!!! i was supposed to get a house with Meeta, but i'm not the person to be wait listed, either i get it or i don't... i'm bringing up all my furniture at the end of the summer, yay!!!

people can be so shady sometimes, but i guess that comes with certain roles in life... i've managed to get myself into another pickle, but luckily i've grown some inner strength that allows me to step away from those situations, and though it aches at the toughest times, i know i'm the better person...

work:

still at the Golf Course, which is awesome because due to this little recession America is going through, i don't have to worry about a job, cause Jesus has graced me with such a wonderful place...for now...

more Members know my name, which is great because they ask about me!!! did i mention these people are CEO's, Presidents and Owners of large public/private companies throughout greater Houston area

still at Aramark, however i've transferred/promoted to the Main Office and gone from Awesome Catering Staff to a Bilingual Office Assistant, which is just as awesome...

i love that i can play at both of my jobs!!! the regional director has mentioned the office is less entertaining when i'm not around...

i've taken it upon myself to do ''special projects'' though at times i just go around being awesome!!!

it's extra awesome that i get first dibs on certain confidential meetings

i've learned great experience at both locations during these past 2 years: everything from food handling to social security verification, the whole hiring process, trusted to count wads of cash!!! being asked opinions for critical employment training and conflicts among staff... the life lessons are endless here...

at the end of the day, i'm appreciative of the experience and opportunities presented to me...

love/relationships:

that has come to an end... my fate is currently decided and though at times i would like to run away from it all, there's not much i can do...

my guy and i are on a hiatus, which is awesome because less drama, which equals to a happier me :D

i doubt i'll ever get the courage to date outside of my comfort zone, simply because as of now; he'll be there until the end...

it seems the less you're around the more he actually misses you, which is sad because it's too late for that and you've become numb to his wants and emotions...

was threatened if i was ever to come upon an unintended pregnancy, there WILL be a DNA test, no questions asked!!! which leads me to---> wow, now that's love and trust!!!

i'm hypnotic!!!

Course	Days	Time	Hrs
HIS	TUTH	1230-0150	3
ENG	MOWEFR	0900-0950	3
C J	TUTH	1100-1220	3
MTH	MOWEFR	1000-1050	3
THR	MOWEFR	1100-1150	3